Hello, I am sorry that it took too long to update this story. But work got to me, and I didn't have much of a free time to write. I hope you will like this chapter. : )
Christian's POV
I so badly wanted to follow Angelina and pull her into my arms but that would scare her off more. My whole being wanted to comfort her, to just know Lina was all right. And not being able to do that was torture. I needed to hug her, I needed it like the air. Just to feel her in my arms, just for a moment…
But I had to push down my craving , although it was getting harder and harder to resist Lina. Having her so near and not being able to touch her was making me dizzy with need. But for both of our sakes I had to control myself more. I had been around tons of women, but this one could break me so easily and we haven't even kissed yet!
Angelina had been so scared about her loved ones and her pain was making me feel sick. Like I would ever hurt someone my mate loved! A vampire couldn't cause harm to someone close to the mate, and I would rather hurt myself thousands of time before I harm Angelina's loved ones. Adam had told me that to a vampire the feeling was like a knife to the heart, and I knew he had no reason to lie me about it. So far all that he had told me about mates was true, and I didn't want to try if that was true too. Besides even the thought of hurting my darling's closed ones, was so repulsive that I would rather starve to death than make it happen.
I was now torn up from wanting to hug Lina and comfort her and staying away because I was the thing she feared. And it was slowly killing me to know I was the cause for her pain and fear. To hurt the most valuable person in my life was really a torture. God, I wanted to bang my head against some wall! I never wanted another woman so badly in my life! No woman I had ever met was like her. The woman meant for me. The ideal partner for me.
The truest form of love ever, that was how Adam had described what a mate for my kind was. Pure, sweet love. The type of love that only existed in fairytales, because it was pure magic. I would never be able to cheat on my mate, leave her for another or even choose to spend a time with someone else. When I had first heard that, so many years ago, I thought it was nonsense and pure romantic fantasy. I never imagined even for a second that some woman would be the center of my world and I would never want to touch another. But even since I saw Angelina, I realized that I really didn't want another. I had only eyes for her, my sweet, precious mate .Everything in my darling was making me feel like I was seeing a woman for the first time. Maybe because I finally knew Lina was the One, that she wasn't just some lady that I wanted to impress. I so badly needed Lina to like my cooking, to like my home, to just like me. I just wanted Angelina to see the person I have fought so hard to become , and to like and love me.
Ever since Angelina became my obsession and I craved to know more and more about her, I began to dream about our life together. In my fantasies I would wake up in the morning with a smile, Angelina next to me in the bed, wrapped in my arms, where the lovely angel belonged. I would pull her closer, happy to have my mate with me. Lina's clothes would be next to mine in the wardrobe, it was big enough for both of us. I would definitely buy my angel a lot of clothes, shoes- everything she wanted. I would never deny her something. I had worked so hard to build myself such a good home and I would gladly share it with Angelina. She had the only right to live here after all. She could rearrange my place, change the color of the walls- just anything and I would still not care. It only mattered that my lovely angel would be here living with me. That I would get to wake up next to her every morning, watch how she gets ready for work. How we would eat together, how I would cook for her and surprise with favorite meals. How we would curl on the sofa and watch some movie or TV show. How I could just kiss Lina every time I wanted.
Every time I followed Angelina somewhere or learned more about her, I wondered what have I done to deserve her. She was so breathtakingly beautiful, smart, nice to her closed ones- she was just perfection. While I was a vampire, who had bathed in so much blood and wasn't ashamed to steal and kill, even as a human. I had been so poorly educated as a human, but becoming immortal helped me change that, but still I felt unworthy for a woman such as Angelina. How exactly a woman such as her could be matched to a vampire, who had spent his human years in crimes, and whose hands had taken so much lives? A man , who had done everything to be on top of the world, who sacrificed his own humanity and soul for a better life? How can such a man belong to such an angel? What kind of an irony was this? Which God thought it was funny? I knew Lina had bad sides, but still nothing she had ever done could be as worse as what I had done even before my turning into a vampire. Like we were opposites of one another, but maybe that made us mates?
God, I was so tired to think how to fix this! Maybe I should had never abducted Lina last night! Maybe I should had introduced myself first, asked her out. Maybe if we had started dating… But the thought that Angelina might reject me when my vampire nature is discovered , had made me lose control and plan an abduction. Just that she was too precious to me, that I couldn't risk her abandoning me. And now I had to find a way how to fix everything. Because the cost of losing Angelina wasn't something I could afford .
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Angelina's POV
I splashed my face with water several times, hoping that maybe the cold water would give me strength and I won't tremble so much. Since I had entered the bathroom I wanted to lock myself inside and just stay there. But it would be too stupid and cowardly. Christian would surely come to check on me if I take too long to get back to the kitchen and a locked door wouldn't stop him. And he would be mad that I had chosen to hide. Besides I knew that locking myself up in some room wouldn't help me and it was very cowardly of me to think of it. And I have never been much of a coward, but this situation was not like anything I had ever faced. My mind was driving me insane with all the scenarios and all the things I should say or do.
No, locking myself inside the bathroom was stupid, I wasn't a kid anymore or that weak. So I just closed carefully the door and I finished my business. I leaned my back against the wall as I tried to calm my racing thoughts. All that had happened since last night …. Why did I never think about my family and friends when I had woken up? Yes, I had thought about them worrying for me, but I never worried for them until some minutes ago. And I was so terribly ashamed of that, so ashamed. I wanted to hit myself so hard for not thinking if Christian had hurt anyone I loved before abducting me. He had stalked me for months, he could have easily cause harm to someone close to me. And I didn't thought about it! I just didn't. How could I have been so stupid, so careless?! I had slept in his bed, ate his food, drank coffee and tea, bathed in his bathroom and wore clothes he bought for me, and during all that time my mother could be seriously hurt or even worse. And I was acting like his guest, while someone could be dead by his hands! Tears appeared in my eyes, but I wiped them. No, I must not punish myself and I must not lose faith! I didn't have a choice about the food and clothes, I feared Christian and if I had refused to obey he would hurt me. I had been sedated and put to sleep in his own bed, he didn't give me a choice for that. I certainly hadn't wanted his food or coffee, but angering the vampire wasn't an option. And I would need my strength. I couldn't risk fainting . I had been left with no option for the clothes too- if was either the ones Christian bought me or he could make me wear his own or no clothes at all. I made choices to obey to survive. Yes, it was foolish of me to accept food and drink from a person who abducted me, but so far there was no poison or sedative in neither of them. I felt fine physically. Christian could have hurt me even without poisoning the food or the coffee. He could have left me to starve or tie me to his bed and try to force himself upon me. He could use his vampire ability to influence my thoughts and make me do anything, like kiss him or anything more intimate. But so far nothing like that happened. I didn't know if it was because that didn't fit Christian's romantic fantasy of soulmates, or he wanted me to trust him. All I knew was that the vampire could easily hurt me if he wanted to, but he was acting like a caring guy on a first date with his crush. Well, a crush he had stalked for months.
How to act when I return to the kitchen? Our last exchanged words ran through my mind. His ridiculous theory that the reason I didn't have success in love was because I haven't met him yet. That no man before him couldn't make me happy because he wasn't Christian. That all of my relationships and dates were pointless and waste of times. That I had wasted my emotions over guys , all of my memories, good or bad, were fake. Only because the man meant for me was Christian Morgan, a vampire, who chose to abduct me as a way to make a first impression. A man that knew so much about me, what I liked to eat, drink, only because he had stalked me. I refuse to believe his crazy theory! It was so narcissistic of Christian to even think that, he was absolutely insane. God, in what mess I had found myself into!
# # #
I entered the kitchen with a heavy heart. I didn't know how long must I keep this façade, this polite mask. I wanted so badly to do something, but the fear and the rational part of my mind were stopping me. I was put in a very dangerous situation, my abductor wasn't even human and I must try to think before doing something. But it was getting so hard to suppress my instincts to run, or to maintain this polite conversation.
'' Are you feeling better?''- Christian was washing the dishes and he smiled shyly at me when he lifted his eyes to meet mine.-'' I know I may have scared you and I deeply apologize for that. I know that I shouldn't have mentioned your love life.''- His brown eyes changed their color to red, but he took a deep breath, looked down, and when I met my abductor's eyes again, they were normal again. Almost human. Christian turned off the water, walked to me, but stopped when we were only a few steps away from each other. –''I am sorry, but just the thought of all those men that had kissed you , touched you .. it is very hard for me to not want to cause them endless torture.'' – I shivered , just imagining something bad happening to my exes or some of my dates. No matter that things hadn't worked out , still the thought of Christian hurting them made me worried.
'' Why?''- I couldn't look away from his eyes, they were so hypnotic. I feared if I looked away, Christian might attack me or more likely kiss me with all the passion and longing I saw in his eyes. –'' I chose to be with them, I liked them.''- I knew I shouldn't have provoked him like that, but I couldn't take my words back now.-'' I mean, not one of them did something that I didn't want…''- I bit my lips and I shivered again when the dark-haired vampire's gaze lowered to my mouth. Great, Angelina! Provoke his jealousy more! How to fix this now? How to change the conversation away from the men in my life?
'' Maybe, Lina, but they didn't have the right to do any of those things.''- Christian gave me a smile that could sweep any woman off her feet. –'' Because , angel, you are destined to be mine. Every part of you was meant for me, and it should not have been tainted by another. Another man's touch on your skin or even a peck on the lips gives me the right to hurt that man as much as I want. I know I found you so late in your life, you are 25 years old now. But still as your mate, for me to know that you have shared love with other guys, it is very painful. So very painful. God, how I wish I met you sooner!''- He took a deep breath.-'' As a vampire, my responsibility as your mate is also to protect you from harm .''- I nearly cringed. Every woman wants to hear that some guy will always look after her, that he will be her support. It sounded so romantic, so perfect. But sadly, it doesn't always happen like that. Men say these sweet words, but not many of them actually mean them. Words are just words. I knew that from a personal experience. Often my exes promised me something, or said that I could count on them, but later I got disappointed. Relationships were hard.
'' This sounds so romantic, but I don't need protection.''- Besides from you, I thought bitterly. Christian's smile disappeared, probably guessing what I had thought. But he didn't say anything.-'' I am capable of taking care of myself.''- Well, at least I had thought so before last night when he abducted me. I had tried to run, to fight back, but I wasn't strong or fast enough.
'' No one can be alone forever, darling.''- Christian gently touched my cheek and for a second it felt so good and I leaned into the touch. His hand was so warm, so gentle, that for a second I forgot where I was and who I was with. But then I remembered who exactly was caressing me, and I took a step back. -''I am sorry, I know I shouldn't have touched you, but I just needed… ''- Christian hid his hand in his pocket, and sent me a shy smile. I wanted to rub my cheek to get rid of Christian's caress, but that would surely anger him. And I so wanted to hit myself for not slapping his hand, or worse- that I liked his touch, even for a second. Was I starting to lose my mind ? It was too early for that! God, I was so exhausted!
'' I am not alone.''- I said as I crossed arms over my chest. –'' I have family, friends. People that care about me. Yes, I don't have a man in my life, but that doesn't make me alone.''- I went to the table and sat down on one of the chairs. The dark-haired vampire sat down on the chair opposite mine. His hand was close to mine, but he moved it . I feared the vampire would touch me again.
'' Yes, you are loved by your friends and family, but still you need someone to protect you and be by your side. '' – Christian ran fingers through his hair.-'' A life without love is very hard. My kind is blessed with mates. To know that there really is someone meant for you. It's unique. I am yours, and you are mine.''- I swallowed hard. The look in his eyes, his tone… it all made my head dizzy. It sounded so romantic, so sweet and ideal that it made me sick. Christian rubbed nervously his neck.- '' I know I shouldn't probably tell you this, Angelina. You may think that what I did was wrong , but I couldn't stop myself. I must protect you.''- I swallowed and waited him to continue. I couldn't find my voice even if I wanted to.-'' When I have followed you all those months, I did things to ensure your safety.''- Was he really trying to say what I think he was? Did he killed someone because of me? And how many? Dread filled me. I knew I shouldn't be surprised that a guy that had drugged and abducted me would kill someone, but still the thought I was standing so close to him made me nauseous.
'' What do you mean?''- I knew the answer, we both knew it, but I needed him to say the words I dreaded. It was one thing to imagine all those victims Christian had kept in his home , it was another thing to hear him actually say he had hurt someone.
'' I mean I..''- Christian reached for my hand but seeing the look in my eyes he put it on his lap again. –'' I don't regret my actions and I will never do. It was my responsibility as your mate and my heart wouldn't allow me to let you face danger.''- He cleared his throat.-'' You know I have been following you for months and I became your guardian angel. You were going to get robbed one night and thank God I was near to prevent it. Killing this criminal was so enjoyable and I would do it again and again. I had beaten up some guy that wanted to slash your tires. Another wanted to steal your car, but I quickly dried him off blood. I have followed you home almost every night to make sure nothing bad happens to you. It didn't matter if you drove your car, took the bus or simply walked to somewhere I was often near to keep you safe. I followed you inside every club you went, darling. You were so breathtakingly beautiful every time, and I made sure that no man would put something in your drink ,or try to touch you in a way that I don't like , or most importantly in a way that you don't like, Lina. The guys that sometimes flirted with you were a very easy and sweet target for my rage. I didn't spare my strength or anger in order to punish those who dared to think about hurting you, angel. Or those who dared to think they can be with you. ''- Christian ran fingers through his black hair.-''But keeping you safe was and always will be my priority. I could find peace only when I knew you were safe and happy. I worried if you eat regularly, if you have problems in work, if I can help you with anything. If I had seen you sad somewhere I wished I could rip out the heart of the person that caused you grief.''- Christian's voice broke.-''I never felt this strong and consuming need to protect someone before in my life, Angelina. This is so new to me and it sometimes scares me how intense this need is. But I don't regret what I did.''- He took a deep breath.-'' Please , say something, darling.''- The gentleness in his brown eyes seemed so genuine.
-'' I don't know what to say.''- I bit my lips. I was stunned. Did he tell all of this to make me like him easier? To portrait himself as some hero, my knight in shining armor? I wasn't surprised Christian harmed the men that had shown interest in me , but the other things… Part of me was scared that he had followed me everywhere and interfered in my life, but the other part was thankful. And it was so absurd of me to thank Christian for anything, but still I felt like I owed him for saving me from that robbery and so many other things I was sure he didn't tell now. Because he hid something from me, probably not to scare me more. But what if he was lying again? No, he wasn't , the look in his eyes told me the vampire has sincere. He had centuries of time to learn how to hide his emotions, how to deceive people, but something was telling me that Christian's confession was true. And despite my intention I felt I should thank him. Because a dangerous vampire or not but he still have saved me and kept me safe on the street. Maybe I was too much of a good and kind person, but I couldn't just ignore the fact Christian had done something to help me. All of those bad things that guy had spared me from… No, this must be another of his mind games! The dark-haired vampire told me this so I could feel just like that- grateful! Like I owed him something. -'' Why are you telling me this? I guess I should thank you for protecting me but do you want me to give you something for this?''- I wished I could have taken my words back since the second I had said them. But sadly I couldn't turn back time.
'' No, I don't need any form of payment from you , angel.''- Christian clenched his fists but he took a deep breath and seemed to calm down.-'' I realize how my words seemed to you and I am sorry you thought like that. But I understand why you did. ''- The vampire stood up, he seemed too nervous to stand at one place . I watched how he went to the window and leaned against it.-'' Angelina , I didn't protect you all those months so I could blackmail you with it. I know you are confused, scared , angry and hurt, and it is killing me to know I am the one responsible. But this thing between us… what it can become…''- My abductor ran a shaking hand through his hair.-'' You are my ideal partner, Lina, my chance not to be alone. All those years I thought I don't need a mate, but when I finally met you I can't picture my life without you in it. Angelina, this craving to be near you is stronger than me and I passed the point of letting go, a long, a long time ago.''
'' Christian, you…''- I stood up too, I couldn't remain sitting, I needed to move. I made a few steps away from the table, but still far away from Christian.-''You know so much about me and I don't know anything about you.''- I certainly didn't want to know anything about my abductor, but I had to fake some interest in his persona.-'' I literally met you last night. You speak of some unique love and how lonely you are. But I have a life and a job, and if you feel for me what you continue to say, will you let me keep them?''- I knew I made a mistake by asking him this, it could end all of my tries to be polite and calm. Christian might kill me so easily for my words. But I wanted to see how would he react. And the dark-haired vampire right now smiled at me, really smiled. I had expected him to be angry, to yell at me, to hurt me. Not this.
'' Yes, Angelina. You like your job and there is no way I will make you quit it. I hadn't planned to abduct you like this and to force all of this upon you . My vampire side made me snap. I know you are afraid of me, Lina, and I am willing to do anything to change that.''- My breath hitched, Christian appeared before me so fast that I barely had time to blink. His hand caressed my cheek.-'' I don't know what I had done to deserve you, Angelina, but I promise I will fix my mistake from last night because without you there is no life for me.''- Christian whispered these words against my lips. My hands reached to grab his shirt so I could push the dark-haired vampire off, but Christian cupped my face in his hands and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.