Chapter 18 – Monday, Alternate Reality

It was a standard Monday morning when Jack Singer arrived at his office. He greeted his assistant, and went to his desk. He pulled out the files on the things he was currently investigating, putting them around his desk in the order of priority he had given them, There was nothing really interesting there. Still, he couldn't hope to always have the sort of juicy stories which had made his name.

Logging onto the Internet, he checked his Email. There was the usual list of suggestions from the general public – most of which would be completely off the wall. As he skimmed through his inbox, his assistant came in with a cup of coffee. She always enjoyed looking through the sillier suggestions people sent him and watched as he worked.

"You know, things get crazier every day. Look at this, abduction by aliens, abduction by underwater creatures, crop circles, I've seen it all before. Wait, though, this one's different. Not any more likely, but different. Demons, vampires, and a scheme to sell organs for transplant – do people really think I'm that gullible?"

Behind him, Cordelia had gasped softly. He looked at her, wondering why she had reacted. He looked at the note again. "Wait, you're from California, aren't you? Where abouts?"

"Sunnydale," she replied, still looking at the note on the screen.

"That's where this one's from. They say there were demons and vampires running around Sunnydale and that recently they've all been killed, but that there's now a scheme to blame the demons for deaths so someone can harvest organs. How do you like that description of your home town?"

Cordelia didn't answer immediately. She had never talked about her home. Leaving as soon as she could, she'd wanted nothing more to do with the place after several of her friends had been killed by vampires. She realised Jack was looking at her, still waiting for an answer.

"I'd say it sounds like the Sunnydale I remember – at least as far as the demons are concerned. As to the rest, I'm not sure."

Jack was surprised. He had always thought Cordelia was as straightforward as they come. She had a down to earth attitude that meshed well with his own. That was why they made a good team. He didn't understand why she was giving credence to the whole idea. Seeing that she was serious, he motioned for her to sit down.

"Tell me about Sunnydale," he said.

Brian Wakefield worked at the Initiative base at weekends, staying over at night when he had a long shift. There was plenty of room now that the operation had been scaled down. During the week, he was a student at UC Sunnydale. The job paid well, and even though he knew it was strictly temporary, he was glad of the money. In recent weeks, he hadn't had much to do. Everything was quiet, the base down to a few cleaning and clerical staff. His job until this weekend was to monitor security screens around the base. It was boring, but that didn't matter. It wasn't as if he was going to be doing it for the rest of his life.

This weekend had been different. The CO had come back with a few other military types and he'd been moved to monitoring a prisoner. He'd been told she was a demon, and that she could lead the Initiative to the resistance movement which provided succour to the last of the local demons. What he'd seen, watching the girl, made it obvious that was a lie. If he'd had any doubts at all, the conversation he'd overheard between Finn and the doctor had proved it. She was human, and she'd been badly treated. He'd brought the tape home with him, glad he always carried a bag of reading material to work to study during meal breaks. No one bothered to check his bag any more.

Fitting the tape into his player, he had watched. The display sickened him. He had always known that Finn was not a man to be thwarted, but this was wrong. Now, all he had to do was make sure the tape got into the right hands. But who was that? Finn's commanding officer? No, that would make it public. The girl didn't deserve to have her humiliation made public. The conversation on the tape told him who needed to have it. Riley made it clear that the girl was involved with the resistance and implied that she was sleeping with the vampire – he assumed the same one who had rescued her. He obviously loved her. He had taken a huge risk in coming to get her. It was strange, working here, he had been led to believe that vampires were uncontrollable killers. This one had come in and rescued the girl without really hurting anyone. And the girl didn't seem to fear him. But how could he get the tape to him? And could he keep it safe until he had a chance to hand it over?

On Monday morning, he arrived for classes preoccupied with his own thoughts. He overheard some of his friends talking about a meeting due to be held later in the day. Some students had found something going on and were going to let the others know. He smiled. Another cause, another reason to protest, and no one would really be interested. Still, he thought, it's always funny to hear what others find important.

Riley had had an awful night. Of course, he didn't realise it had been night. He'd fought to remain awake, knowing it would be worse for him if his father caught him napping. The wait always seemed interminable, his fear of the coming punishment growing with every passing moment. When he had escaped from home, he had realised that the waiting had made everything worse. It was knowing what was to come that made the pain more acute, the fear and dread heightening the physical sensation. Now he was back in the shed, and all rational thought was gone. He only knew he needed to earn forgiveness. He heard a hissing sound and turned to see what it was, but knew no more as the anaesthetic gas entered his system and he collapsed on the floor.

When he awoke, he was strapped to a chair. In front of him was a man he'd never seen before. The memory of his recent terror was still with him. His heart was racing and sweat ran down his face and back. His breathing was ragged and he was totally confused. This wasn't what he had expected. His father had obviously devised an even worse punishment than the usual beating.

Red Cross stood in front of him and looked at him pityingly. "He really is a wreck. Still, that's what we want," he thought. It was his background which made this man so potentially useful. He had been moulded to do the job he had been given. He needed someone who was totally driven to succeed. And until recently, he had thought he was the right choice. Now, because of him, his carefully designed operation had suffered a significant set back. It was not beyond repair, however, and that was why Riley Finn had been brought here.

"You've failed, haven't you? Your father told me you would fail, told me you would let me down. And he was right, wasn't he?"

Riley looked up aghast. "N..no, I can do it. I know I can. Let me have another try. I'll do it this time."

The stranger smiled, disbelief in his eyes. "Why should I believe you? We gave you everything you needed. You were so close. There was just one last job to do – to finish off the resistance movement. Yet within days of going back to Sunnydale, the whole scheme had suffered its most severe set back. There are humans in league with the demons of Sunnydale and they are planning to let the world know what's going on. What are you going to do about it?"

Riley was struggling to think. He had to come up with something, but his brain was sluggish. The man nodded in understanding.

"Yes, I was right, you don't know how to fix this, do you? Well, perhaps we should just send you home. I'm sure your father will know what to do with you."

"NO!" Riley shouted. "I need time, I just need time. I'll do it. I will, just give me the chance." He knew he was begging, but he couldn't go home. For him, nothing at home had changed. He wasn't able to see that no one could keep him there any more.

"Very well, I suppose we could give you one more chance. Of course, you'll have to earn it first."

As he spoke, two men entered the room, unstrapped him from the chair and dragged him away. He should have been able to get away, he knew he should, but his struggles seemed feeble and made no difference. He was helpless. He realised somewhere in the back of his mind that it had been too long since his last shot.

Lunchtime at UC Sunnydale saw Brian at the meeting. There weren't many there. He wasn't surprised. He only went because he found it interesting to see what others got steamed up about. The speaker was a red-haired girl he'd seen around. That surprised him – she wasn't the type to do something like this. She had always seemed quiet, fairly shy. When she started to speak, it was faltering at first. As she warmed to her subject, she became more comfortable. What she was saying had Brian very interested. She was talking about a scheme to harvest organs in Sunnydale, covered up by the Initiative. Now, he knew he had an in to the resistance movement.

By the end of the meeting, there was only him left. The others had filtered out, laughing quietly to themselves about what they had heard. The whole story was patently ridiculous. Of course, Brian had a feeling it wasn't. He approached the girl. She was flushed and nervous. "Do you want to tell me how you got your information?" he asked, keeping his voice down.

She looked startled, and slightly afraid. Seeing this he added "It's ok, I'm not one of them," he realised this wasn't strictly true. "At least, I work at the Initiative base at weekends, and I know there's something funny going on. And I've got a tape I want to get to the vampire - the one who got in there to rescue he prisoner."

Ignoring the comment about the vampire for the moment, she motioned his to come over to where Xander was sitting looking completely bored. She explained what she knew. "Taking a risk, aren't you?" he started, wondering if she had any idea of the risk she was taking.

"I suppose so," she answered, looking more worried, "It's just important. Sometimes you need to do something."

"Yes, I know what you mean. About this tape – it's a video that I'd like to get to the vampire in the resistance. Can you help me?"

"Well, I don't know. It could be you just want to get him. I mean, I know Riley Finn is desperate to get his hands on him. I'm not sure he would come to meet you anyway."

Brian smiled to himself. It was just as well he was telling the truth. This girl was a liability to the Resistance.

"Look," she said. "Give me a phone number. I can contact him, it's just a mobile phone, but it'll work. Then it's up to him to decide whether to meet you."

Buffy had kept to her word. She was trying hard not to treat Spike any differently, and she thought she was doing fairly well. Spike had roped her into helping with demon fight training. They'd spent most of the morning doing just that. It was the best thing Buffy could have done. The exercise in itself was exhilarating, and she knew she was just about back to normal. It felt good to be working alongside this vampire. They had always fought well together, and now it was even better. Having decided to end hostilities, their banter was gentler, but still there. There were still comments and complaints flying between them, but they were no longer barbed. She was still sore, and was glad she wasn't fighting Spike, as she was doing her best not to land on her back seat which were still very tender. When the session was finished, they parted to different areas of the complex to clean up.

Several hundred miles away, Cordelia Chase had finished her tale of life in Sunnydale. Jack Singer was amazed – not just by the things she'd told him, but by the way she could just tell a story filled with so many unearthly things. He had decided that this was one story that needed investigating. If things had been as Cordelia had told him, that was story enough. If there was something else going on, it was really big stuff. The attachment to the original Email contained information which certainly looked convincing.

"How do you feel about a trip home?" he asked.

When they met up later for lunch, Buffy and Spike were approached with a message. Someone had phoned wanting to talk to the vampire'. Shrugging, Spike returned the call. When he heard what was on offer, he agreed to meet the man. Buffy had heard half of the call, and was curious.

"What was that about?" she asked.

Spike wasn't sure how to tell her. Everything between them had been good this morning – better than he'd hoped. Whatever had happened to her, she seemed to have recovered. He still saw something in her eyes, a wariness when she didn't know he was looking, but otherwise she seemed back to normal. He didn't want to cause her further pain, but he decided to be truthful.

"Bloke says he's got a tape I should have. Works for Finn. Says it's a tape of your last meeting with the cardboard wonder."

Buffy had gone pale, and moved away.

"Knew it," he thought to himself. "Knew I should've kept it to myself." He didn't know how to react. His first thought was to hold her, but her body language was defensive, arms folded, head down.

After what seemed like an age, she muttered one word, "Bastard." Then she started to shake. Without thinking further, Spike moved towards her, holding her in his arms. To his relief, she didn't push him away, but held onto him, tears forming in her eyes. When she looked at him, her eyes were pleading. "We've got to get it," she whispered. "I couldn't cope if anyone else got to see it. I couldn't. I want that tape, and I want to burn it. And Spike, we do this together, ok?"

It was late afternoon when Riley came around. He was in a cheap motel room. He didn't know how he came to be there. Getting up from the bed, he groaned in pain. Slowly the memory came back. He'd been severely beaten. There was nothing to be seen when he was clothed, but almost every other part of his body was awash with pain. Funny how quickly you became used to a life without pain. Somehow it was even worse when it returned. Whoever had been responsible for his beating had ensured his vitamin supplements' were overdue before starting. Every nerve in his body felt as if it was on fire, and that was just normal withdrawal. Looking on the chair, there was a clean, pressed uniform. On top was a sheet of paper. It said simply, One more chance. Don't fail. Next time will be worse.'

With a sick feeling in his stomach, Riley lurched towards the bathroom, and turned on the shower. Twenty minutes later, he was dressed and walking fairly normally out of the room. His car was sitting outside. He returned to his quarters at the base. All the way there, he struggled to find some position which didn't exacerbate the pain he felt. He didn't try to fight the pain, he used it. He knew who was responsible for it. And Spike would pay. Before he left this earth, Spike would know what Hell was. And Buffy would watch.

His first stop at the base had been with the medical officer for his shot. He went to his quarters after that, intending to rest while the drugs took effect. When the withdrawal symptoms finally faded, he headed for his office. He didn't have any new leads on the resistance, but he knew someone in the base had contact with them. Someone had stolen that tape from his office, and the insurgents hadn't come that way. He walked to a corner of the room. Pulling aside the picture which hung there, he opened the compartment behind. He had taken this extra precaution to protect himself initially. When he had first been appointed, he had been concerned that his orders were in some way spurious. So he'd taken the precaution of recording meetings with his commanding officer. Later, he'd no longer worried about that detail, He'd known he was doing the right thing. He didn't know why he hadn't had the camera removed, but was glad he hadn't. It stored twenty-four hours of images only, and then recorded over. According to his estimate, he was just in time.

Pressing the review button, he realised he had only just made it. The last few frames were all that was left of the event. He could just make out who it was. He went to his computer and checked personnel records. "Good," he thought, "I think Mr. Wakefield should have a visit."

It was eight thirty. Riley sat in his car outside Brian Wakefield's flat. He'd been surprised he didn't live on campus, but it only made things easier. He knew he was at home, and he didn't care if he had to go through this ritual for days. He saw him come out and get into his car, pulling away. Riley followed.

Thirty minutes later, Brian pulled into a car park close to a beach. The area was deserted at that time of night. He hadn't spotted Riley following him, but then, he wasn't trained for that sort of thing. He was beginning to wish he had never become involved. Realising the car park would be quiet, Riley had pulled up outside at the side of the road and crept the rest of the way on foot. It was a beautiful, clear night, still warm from the day's sunshine. The moon was waning, but still gave enough light to see fairly clearly. Riley didn't notice any of it. He found a place to hide where he could see Brian's car. Ten minutes later, another car pulled in. One figure got out of the car, and Brian got out to join her.

Brian was surprised. He had expected to meet the vampire, but on balance, this was even better. He wanted only to hand over the tape and get away. No words were exchanged as he passed the package to her, her only response a shy, slightly embarrassed smile. As he turned to leave, he saw a shadow running towards them. Brian broke for his car. To his surprise, the figure ignored him completely, making for the girl. Not looking back, Brian got into his car and drove away.

Riley couldn't believe his luck. Of all the people to send, they had sent her. Launching himself at her, he was surprised when he hit the ground instead of her. She had rolled out of the way in the nick of time. No matter. He was still stronger than she was, even without the muscle relaxants. He turned for another attack, but found his hands pulled roughly behind his back. He was instantly chilled when he heard the southern English accent whisper in his ear. "Her turn, I think. I'll just hold you still."

Buffy calmly laid the parcel on the bonnet of the car. Walking towards Riley, she started to pound her fists into his chest. She instantly knew he could feel nothing, but it made her feel better. When she had had enough of this rather pointless exercise, she went back to the car and retrieved a length of rope she had found in the boot. With Spike's help, they tied him up. Hauling him back to the car, they bundled him into the boot. It was a tight fit, but that didn't matter.

Spike didn't understand at first. He'd assumed Buffy was going to kill him. Spike had promised himself that particular pleasure, but recognised Buffy's prior claim. Still, the idea of taking him back to the resistance base seemed like a good second. Particularly as he hadn't felt Buffy's punches. Spike knew from personal experience how it felt to be on the receiving end of the small woman's punches. If he hadn't felt them, he wouldn't feel anything. But the effect of the drug cocktail would wear off eventually. Getting back into the car, he asked her to confirm her plans. "Back to the caves?"

She nodded. Her face was closed. He could normally read her face like a book, but right then he could see nothing.

They drove back in silence. When they got back, they dumped the car in the usual place, a hidden clearing in some dense woodland. It would take them ten minutes to get back to the entrance to the cave complex. Picking up the cattle prod he had thought to bring with him, Spike carefully opened the boot. Riley was still apparently tied up and so tightly fitted into the small space, that he didn't seem able to move. Spike gave him four bursts from the prod, sure that he would be out, before hefting the man onto his shoulder. Buffy followed, wondering what she should do. When she first saw him, she really intended to kill him. Realising he couldn't feel any pain, she had decided to wait. Now she wasn't sure what she wanted to do. Seeing him helpless as he was, she realised she couldn't do to him what he had done to her. She just didn't have it in her. And what was more, she didn't want Spike to kill him either.

Once back inside, they were taken to a remote cavern. It had taken ten minutes of a very complicated route to reach it from the last inhabited part of the complex. With help from a couple of Jelka demons, they tied him to a stake in the centre of the floor. The Jelkas were given the job of making sure he didn't work free of his bonds. Even with his enhanced strength, it was unlikely he would be a match for one, let alone two of the seven-foot monsters.

Buffy still hadn't spoken. Spike followed her back to the hub. She went to what passed for a kitchen and found a knife. Prying open the cassette, she pulled out the tape, placing it in a large saucepan. Spike knew what she wanted next. He handed her his lighter and she set the tape alight. He watched her watching the tape disintegrating, the flickering light making golden patterns on her face and hair. When the fire died to leave ashes, she calmly emptied the contents into a bin and looked at the mess remaining in the pan.

"I owe them a saucepan," she smiled at Spike.

The smile faded and tears started to flow down her cheeks. Spike stepped closer and held her. Somehow, he knew these tears were healing. They had a different quality to those she had cried lately.

Buffy was surprised by her reaction. She felt nothing but relief. The tape had been destroyed and no one would ever see her humiliation. Riley had been taken, he was tied up and she was safe. She felt safer still when she felt Spike's arms snake around her. She might be in a reality which was alien to her, but at that moment, she felt as if she was home.

When the tears had subsided, Buffy pulled away. She still didn't feel like going out into the hub. There were too many people. With a look at Spike, she went out into what was used as a dining area. Taking a seat in the corner, she waited until Spike joined her. For a while neither spoke.

"Spike," she began, "I don't want him dead. I thought I did, but I don't. He'll go to prison, or, maybe even hospital, but that's all. Promise me?"

He was on the verge of telling her to forget it. Of telling her that he was going to kill him slowly and painfully. But looking at her, he knew that would hurt her. It was her choice. His shoulders slumped a little, but he agreed.

"Ok, love, if that's what you want. But, if he hurts anyone here, he'll just have to take his chances. I mean that. If he gets out and hurts anyone else, the promise is off. Ok?"

Buffy smiled. She knew she had finally proved something to herself. Spike's lack of chip was unimportant. "Spike," she whispered.

He looked up.

"Remember you said you'd have to earn my trust before I'd tell you what happened when "

"I remember," he answered, unsure where it was leading.

"Well, I do trust you, and if you want to know, I'll tell you."

Spike's spirit exalted. She trusted him.

"Listen, love. It's over. If it'll help you to talk about it, I'll listen. But if you'd rather just forget it, that's ok too. You don't have to prove you trust me."

"I think it'll be easier to put it behind me if I tell you. It might make it easier to understand why I don't want him dead. You see, he's got this idea. He's got it into his head that you, or more exactly, the other you, corrupted the other me. Because they were, well, together. And it's all mixed up with his childhood. His father used to beat him. The Riley I knew never mentioned it, but I think the same thing happened to him. He kept going on as if I needed to be forgiven for being with you. But he said I had to be punished first. He used his.." Buffy stopped for a second, unsure if she could continue.

"It's ok, love, don't go on. I understand."

"No, I need to tell you." She took a deep breath. "He used his belt. But it wasn't the pain that was the worst part. It was the fact that he was doing it to make me feel worthless - just as worthless as he felt. Just as worthless as I made you feel all those times I said those awful things to you."

Spike leaned forward, gently pushing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. "It doesn't matter, love. I am worthless, I know it. But you, you could never be."

Buffy continued. "He seemed to think, when I had been punished enough, and he had forgiven me, that I'd fall into his arms. He told me I'd never had a man, and that once I'd had him, I'd never want you again. I told him you were more of a man than he'd ever be. In his own way, he loved me. He just couldn't understand why I'd prefer a vampire to him. He said you'd corrupted me and that after my punishment, I'd see that, and I'd love him."

Spike had listened to every word, but the part where she had said he was more of a man than Riley echoed through his brain until he felt dizzy with it. It was so contrary to what she'd said to him in the past that he couldn't hold back the tears which were starting to form in his eyes. She saw that and smiled. How could she ever have thought him a heartless monster? His love for her was written all over his face, so why had it taken so long for her to see it?

"Thing is," she went on, "in our reality, I never really loved him. Even when he was gentle, kind Riley, I didn't love him. I cared for him, I really did, but I didn't love him. That's what chased him away. But this Riley, he wasn't capable of love. It had been taken away from him. I don't know what made the difference between the two of them, why one turned out one way and the other different. Maybe even the other Buffy rejecting him in favour of a vampire. But maybe he can be helped. Maybe someone can give him back his self esteem. Maybe, someone, somewhere can love him and earn his love."

Buffy laid her head on Spike's shoulder and he responded by putting his arms around her. In some ways, understanding what had happened made it easier to understand why she didn't want him dead. It still went against his nature, but then almost everything he did these days came into that category.

As he was thinking, he realised her breathing had changed, becoming slow and even. She was asleep. Wriggling to try to make himself as comfortable as he could on the hard bench, he made up his mind to let her sleep as long as she needed to. He was going to ache in the morning, but it'd be worth it to have Buffy sleep in his arms. So, now it was official, he was an even bigger poof than his sire, but he didn't care any more.

When Riley came around a little while later. He saw the two demons, and tried to free his hands. He couldn't. He knew he was overdue another dose of his vitamin supplement. He could feel the pain returning, all over his body. He shuddered. He knew Spike would be there soon, and that there would be more pain. He didn't believe for an instant that the vampire loved Buffy, but he knew he must consider her his property. He knew enough of vampire culture to know that Spike would avenge what he had done to his property.

The fact that he was being kept waiting showed that Spike knew what he was doing. He started to shake, the waiting too much for him. As he did so, he felt his heart pound harder in his chest. He knew a second or two before it happened. He knew the regulator in his chest had malfunctioned. He could feel his heart racing faster and faster until he could no longer pick out separate beats. There was no pain, just a dizziness that took away from the other pain he felt returning to his back, legs and arms. He knew he was dying, and he welcomed it. In the end, he had failed, he knew he had, but he knew his father would never be able to tell him so, so it didn't matter.