Author's Notes: Just wanted to thank everyone for their reviews and ask you
all to please submit more! This is my first fan fic, so I need all the
feedback I can get. I'm incorporating some of your suggestions about Jess'
behavior, so I hope you like it. Also, if anyone has any fan fic that they
would like me to read and proofread/give suggestions on, e-mail me at
calliope529@yahoo.com. I'm the editor of my school's literary/pop culture
magazine and I want to be an editor at a publishing house when I grow up,
so I would LOVE to help out.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As he reached the door of the diner, Jess began to put the key in the lock. After a moment's hesitation, he thought better of it, and decided to just sit outside for a minute. He needed a second alone, and at 9:00 pm, the streets of Star's Hollow were deserted. Hell, at 7:00 pm, the streets of Star's Hollow were deserted.
Jess wasn't quite sure what he was feeling. Part of him couldn't stop thinking about that kiss or even the kiss he'd given Rory on the cheek, for that matter. Even that had been better than all of the things he'd done with his ex-girlfriends. But the other part of him, the pit of his stomach to be exact, gave him an uneasy, sickening feeling. Just as he set himself done on the bench across from the diner, he realized what the feeling was: guilt.
He'd never really felt all that guilty before, so the experience was new for him. Sure, he'd stolen a couple of lawn jockeys, and played a couple of tricks on Taylor. But, he'd never done anything that actually hurt anyone. And tonight he hurt Rory. He didn't mean to. It was just suppose to be another attempt to piss Bag Boy off. But he realized now that Rory had felt guilty about the kiss and he had only made matters worse. As he got up from the bench to go back into the diner and get some sleep, he resolved to apologize to Rory first thing in the morning.
Rory trudged back along the streets of Star's Hollow, desperately not wanting to go home. She wished she could talk to her mom about all this. Her mom was her best friend, one of the only people she felt she could really talk to. And she needed to talk to someone. But her mom just wouldn't understand. She would have just gotten angry and made Rory feel guilty, and Rory didn't need to feel anymore guilty than she did right now. Rory thought about going to Lane's house. But, knowing Lane's parents, if she ever wanted full use of her legs again, she'd have to wait until morning. Finally, she just decided to go home, crawl into bed, and read Franny and Zooey for the millionth time.
But as she reached her front lawn, Rory realized that that was not going to be an option. Dean was sitting on the porch, his head buried between his knees. On his face was the look of a man who had either just learned that his entire family had died in a car accident, or who had just gone on the Teacups ride and was about to be sick. Either way, it wasn't good and Rory wasn't prepared to deal with "not good" right at this moment. She decided to just act as casually as possible, not that that approach had worked at the reception.
"Hey Dean, what are you doing here?" Dean looked up, tears streaking his face.
"How could you Rory?" Rory's face fell. She could just feel it; he knew.
"What are you talking about?" Dean jumped up and walked over to her. She'd never seen him do the towering bit on her, and she didn't like it.
"Damn it, Rory! Just stop with the lies! I saw you. I saw you kiss Jess," he cried.
"I-I--" Rory stammered.
"Look, just stop. It's over okay. I loved you and you betrayed me, and-- it's over. You and me are done forever."
Dean stared into her eyes. She knew what he wanted. He wanted her to say that he was wrong, that it was all a big misunderstanding. But they both knew that wasn't the case. Rory just let her head drop.
"Don't you have anything to say?" he asked. But Rory knew what he was really asking: aren't you going to tell me that you love me and you don't want it to end? But all she could stammer out was: "I'm sorry."
And that was it. Dean walked off. She knew what she had to have said. She had to have said "I love you." It wouldn't have changed anything; Dean still would have ended it. But it was the only way she could have begun to make up for what she had done. She just couldn't do it. It wasn't that she didn't love Dean; he still held a very dear place in her heart. But at that moment, it wasn't love that she was feeling for Dean. It was just sorriness and guilt.
Next time: Now that Dean's out of the picture, Jess and Rory can be together right? Not when Rory takes her guilt out on the wrong person and Jess' apology doesn't quite go according to plan.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As he reached the door of the diner, Jess began to put the key in the lock. After a moment's hesitation, he thought better of it, and decided to just sit outside for a minute. He needed a second alone, and at 9:00 pm, the streets of Star's Hollow were deserted. Hell, at 7:00 pm, the streets of Star's Hollow were deserted.
Jess wasn't quite sure what he was feeling. Part of him couldn't stop thinking about that kiss or even the kiss he'd given Rory on the cheek, for that matter. Even that had been better than all of the things he'd done with his ex-girlfriends. But the other part of him, the pit of his stomach to be exact, gave him an uneasy, sickening feeling. Just as he set himself done on the bench across from the diner, he realized what the feeling was: guilt.
He'd never really felt all that guilty before, so the experience was new for him. Sure, he'd stolen a couple of lawn jockeys, and played a couple of tricks on Taylor. But, he'd never done anything that actually hurt anyone. And tonight he hurt Rory. He didn't mean to. It was just suppose to be another attempt to piss Bag Boy off. But he realized now that Rory had felt guilty about the kiss and he had only made matters worse. As he got up from the bench to go back into the diner and get some sleep, he resolved to apologize to Rory first thing in the morning.
Rory trudged back along the streets of Star's Hollow, desperately not wanting to go home. She wished she could talk to her mom about all this. Her mom was her best friend, one of the only people she felt she could really talk to. And she needed to talk to someone. But her mom just wouldn't understand. She would have just gotten angry and made Rory feel guilty, and Rory didn't need to feel anymore guilty than she did right now. Rory thought about going to Lane's house. But, knowing Lane's parents, if she ever wanted full use of her legs again, she'd have to wait until morning. Finally, she just decided to go home, crawl into bed, and read Franny and Zooey for the millionth time.
But as she reached her front lawn, Rory realized that that was not going to be an option. Dean was sitting on the porch, his head buried between his knees. On his face was the look of a man who had either just learned that his entire family had died in a car accident, or who had just gone on the Teacups ride and was about to be sick. Either way, it wasn't good and Rory wasn't prepared to deal with "not good" right at this moment. She decided to just act as casually as possible, not that that approach had worked at the reception.
"Hey Dean, what are you doing here?" Dean looked up, tears streaking his face.
"How could you Rory?" Rory's face fell. She could just feel it; he knew.
"What are you talking about?" Dean jumped up and walked over to her. She'd never seen him do the towering bit on her, and she didn't like it.
"Damn it, Rory! Just stop with the lies! I saw you. I saw you kiss Jess," he cried.
"I-I--" Rory stammered.
"Look, just stop. It's over okay. I loved you and you betrayed me, and-- it's over. You and me are done forever."
Dean stared into her eyes. She knew what he wanted. He wanted her to say that he was wrong, that it was all a big misunderstanding. But they both knew that wasn't the case. Rory just let her head drop.
"Don't you have anything to say?" he asked. But Rory knew what he was really asking: aren't you going to tell me that you love me and you don't want it to end? But all she could stammer out was: "I'm sorry."
And that was it. Dean walked off. She knew what she had to have said. She had to have said "I love you." It wouldn't have changed anything; Dean still would have ended it. But it was the only way she could have begun to make up for what she had done. She just couldn't do it. It wasn't that she didn't love Dean; he still held a very dear place in her heart. But at that moment, it wasn't love that she was feeling for Dean. It was just sorriness and guilt.
Next time: Now that Dean's out of the picture, Jess and Rory can be together right? Not when Rory takes her guilt out on the wrong person and Jess' apology doesn't quite go according to plan.