Video Game follies:
Battle of the Skanky Heroines
By Karasuhato, the "Raven Dove"
(karasuhato@ecmail.i-p.com)
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All games copyright of previous owners. Don't take Serously!
NOTE: My Engrlish is not the greatest, so please take it easy ;_;
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Narator: We all appear at a beach, with Lara Croft, Red Lotus from "Deathtrap Dungeon" and Mikki from Victor's "Pandemonuim" sereis gather around together like the "Charlie's Angels", giggling and looking hot.
Lara Croft: Hullo everybody, I am Lara Croft! Every horny single man's wet dream!
Mikki: No way! All boys want me. I am hot babies.
Red Lotus: *starts to laugh hysterically* Don't make me laugh Mikki! You look like young Peggie Bundy of "Married with Children"! I'm the hottest yet, so shut up gals!
Mikki: *grimaces* Wanna bet?
Lara Croft: *gets in a fighting stance* Okay, let fight it out!
*They perform various GRATUITOUS STUNTS, and they BREATH HEAVY, MOAN, PULL HAIR, SHOOT and STABB each other, LAUGH, and CAST SPELLS while the CAMERA does tight close-up CROTCH SHOTS. *
Lara Croft: Whore!
Mikki: *Red Lotus pulling her hair* WATCH THE HAIR! OW OW OW!!!
Red Lotus: No way skank!
Mikki: Well you are a bitch!
Lara Croft: No, you are!
Red Lotus: No you are!
Mikki: NO, YOU ARE!!!
*As the girls kept on bitch fighting, a strange yellow UFO with a green visor comes down and crashes on the girls, causing one bloody mess. A woman in mechanical armor comes out and stretches for a bit.*
Armored woman: *thinking to herself* Ah, finally, a great place to land! *looks at everyone in the crowd and removes her helmet, revealing a woman with yellow-green hair* Oh, hi everyone! I am Samus Aran, the greatest bounty hunter in all of the universe and now, on Earth!
Crowd member: *observes a gory mess* Ewwwww, what is that mess?
*Samus Aran slightly lifts up her space ship and notices Mikki, Red Lotus and Lara Croft being crushed into a gory mess*
Samus Aran: Ewwwwww, sick! A bunch of silicone hoochies!
Horny crowd member: She crushed Lara Croft! She gives me orgasms every night!
Drunk bum: Yeah, and Mikki and Lotus and da gang! Oh no!
*Samus looks slightly disgruntled*
Samus Aran: Oh yeah!? You think I'm not hot enough, huh? We'll see about this. *All of Samus' armor comes off, revealing her slender, sexy, and if slightely muscular body in a black two-piece leotard* See guys!
*All boys start to salivate*
All the boys in the crowd: Yeah, Samus is da babe!
Drunk bum: Whoah, she look hotter than any of them!
Girl Gamers: Yeah, you go girl!
Samus Aran: *thinking to herself in glee* Now THIS is more like it!
*Every gamer starts to lift Samus into the air and started to rejoice*
Crowd: HIP HIP HOORAY! SAMUS IS OUR GAL! HIP HIP HOORAY! SAMUS IS OUR GAL! HIP HIP HOORAY!
Samus Aran: *thinking to herself * Now this is REALLY what I want it to be!
Crowd: HIP HIP HOORAY! SAMUS IS OUR GAL! HIP HIP HOORAY! SAMUS IS OUR GAL! HIP HIP HOORAY!
The End!