Video Game follies:
Dragon Quest 01
By Karasuhato, the "Raven Dove"
(karasuhato@ecmail.i-p.com)
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All games copyright of previous owners. Don't take Serously!
NOTE: My Engrlish is not the greatest, so please take it easy ;_;
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Narator: Once upon a time, in a far away land, a princess gets captured by the Lord of Dragons and threatens the world with his hoard of goofy tear-drop blobs, anthropomorphic wolves, rocs and many other crazy creatures. Enter the hero of the story, whom has no name, but who cares, he's just there, like everyone else.
Queen: Oh please save my daughter my hero!
King: Yes, I can't bear to see my little girl being in hands of the lord dragon and being tormented. Shall you help us?
Hero: *nods head, since he can not talk*
King and Queen: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! *Hero gets smothered in hugs and kisses*
Narator: And so, our brave little hero goes out into the world, to fight monsters, learn magick spells, to collect treasure, help the needy and keep this a secret between you and me, making love with the most sexy village women around!
Hero: *thinking to himself, since he is either mute or deaf, you decide* Hmmmm, where was I again........*lightbulb appears over his head* Oh yeah, must find the armor and sword of Eldrick, the sacred Dragon hunter!
Narator: So our hero heads back out into the world, learned more powerful spells, fights more monsters YET AGAIN *sighs and yawns* and heads into Chadrock's castle to search for the belongings of Eldrick.
Hero: *thinking* One more fucking monster battle and I will snap! *so a Wyvern comes into the scene and the hero really snaps, kicking monster ass and healing all his wounds in the process* Mmmmm....must keep searching....*sigh*
*Hero heads outside the castle and starts to dig around in the quarries and finds something rather unique*
Hero: *jumps in joy* *Holding up the armor he was looking for*
Narator: The hero found Eldrick's armor, as well as the sword as he headed back into the palace. Now, he must be ready to fight the Lord of Dragons.
*Exhausted hero comes and approaches a gaunt man in funky looking black armor*
Dragon Lord: MWAHAH HA HA HA! I am your typical evil bad guy, the one and only DRAGON LORD! HA HAH HAH HAH HA!!! I captured the Light ball, engulfing the world into darkness and disease and captured the "Lovely" Princess Gwellin! You can't stop me!
Hero: *thinking to himself in rage* LIKE HELL I CAN'T! *uses spells and his sword against the Lord himself, however, the Lord does not get defeated and is rather angry*
Dragon Lord: Okey asswipe! You will get it now!!! *turns into a hideous dragon with foul stinky breath*
Hero: *thinking* Don't worry Princess Gwellin, I'll save you!
Narator: And so the hero destroys Dragon Lord, restores light into the world, saves the Princess, return to her mother and father in their kingdom, get married, have descendants and live happily ever after.......
As for you, the gamer, your wish is for much improved sequels that shall follow this rather mundane game! And your wish comes true as well!
The End!