Title: Lonely Girl
Author: Abbie
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, sad but true. ;)
Rating: I dunno, I guess pg-13 for now, it may go up depending.
Summary: Maria DeLuca is slowly sinking. Will someone come to save her?
Authors note: This is my first Roswell fanfic, so please be kind. I'd love some feedback. I want to know what you guys think. Thanks!! And now on with the story....
I am sitting here alone. I'm waiting for something, or maybe someone. I just haven't discovered who or what I'm waiting for. I know that I should go home, back to my mother, back to that life. Ha, life, that's a big joke. What life is there to go back to?
My father left when I was seven and my mothers been a drunk ever since. I'm not that surprised though. She's not a very strong person. I think I get that from her. I'm not very strong either. Well that is the real me isn't. The me that everyone else sees is full of life, and spirit, she speaks her mind, and has one hell of a fiery temper. That's the persona I've created. She's what I want to be. The worst part is probably that nobody really likes her. Sometimes I wonder if everyone feels as crappy as I do.
That's actually what I do most of the time. Think about other people I mean. It hurts less to think about them then about myself. In the end it always comes back to this though to these feelings. What if Liz and Alex are only my friends because they feel sorry for me? Did my father ever really love me? If he did, how could he leave me? Why does my mother drink? Doesn't she realize how much it's destroying the both of us? I wonder what Max, Isabel, and Michael think of me? The only reason they probably even associate with me is because I know their big secret. Who am I kidding? That's the only reason they would ever talk to me.
They are so lucky. They have something out there. They have this whole other life on another planet. All they have to do is find their way back. I'm just stuck here, forever. No secret life. I have nothing to hide. I have nothing to live for. I'm just a waitress with two best friends who are so self-absorbed that they can't even see how far I've sunk. In the sea of life I'm just staying put, I'm drowning and I need someone to help me, to pull me along, but everyone else is too busy trying to win the race. They are so far ahead of me, I can barely see there outlines as I fall deeper into the darkness.
It's not like I want to feel this way, it's quite the opposite and I want to be better. I want to be racing with them. It's like my foot got caught and I need someone else there to drag me up, to help me get a little farther. No one will. I can only pray. "Please, whoever's out there? Send me someone, send me light. Send me life."
I'm Maria DeLuca, this is my story.
Author: Abbie
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, sad but true. ;)
Rating: I dunno, I guess pg-13 for now, it may go up depending.
Summary: Maria DeLuca is slowly sinking. Will someone come to save her?
Authors note: This is my first Roswell fanfic, so please be kind. I'd love some feedback. I want to know what you guys think. Thanks!! And now on with the story....
I am sitting here alone. I'm waiting for something, or maybe someone. I just haven't discovered who or what I'm waiting for. I know that I should go home, back to my mother, back to that life. Ha, life, that's a big joke. What life is there to go back to?
My father left when I was seven and my mothers been a drunk ever since. I'm not that surprised though. She's not a very strong person. I think I get that from her. I'm not very strong either. Well that is the real me isn't. The me that everyone else sees is full of life, and spirit, she speaks her mind, and has one hell of a fiery temper. That's the persona I've created. She's what I want to be. The worst part is probably that nobody really likes her. Sometimes I wonder if everyone feels as crappy as I do.
That's actually what I do most of the time. Think about other people I mean. It hurts less to think about them then about myself. In the end it always comes back to this though to these feelings. What if Liz and Alex are only my friends because they feel sorry for me? Did my father ever really love me? If he did, how could he leave me? Why does my mother drink? Doesn't she realize how much it's destroying the both of us? I wonder what Max, Isabel, and Michael think of me? The only reason they probably even associate with me is because I know their big secret. Who am I kidding? That's the only reason they would ever talk to me.
They are so lucky. They have something out there. They have this whole other life on another planet. All they have to do is find their way back. I'm just stuck here, forever. No secret life. I have nothing to hide. I have nothing to live for. I'm just a waitress with two best friends who are so self-absorbed that they can't even see how far I've sunk. In the sea of life I'm just staying put, I'm drowning and I need someone to help me, to pull me along, but everyone else is too busy trying to win the race. They are so far ahead of me, I can barely see there outlines as I fall deeper into the darkness.
It's not like I want to feel this way, it's quite the opposite and I want to be better. I want to be racing with them. It's like my foot got caught and I need someone else there to drag me up, to help me get a little farther. No one will. I can only pray. "Please, whoever's out there? Send me someone, send me light. Send me life."
I'm Maria DeLuca, this is my story.