After the Professor had finished explaining his idea to Rogue, he and the other X-Men waited for a response from her.

"So that's the plan? To take away mah memories of what happened? And ya'll agreed to this?!"

The X-men nodded. "We just want what's best for you, Rogue," replied Jean.

"What's best for me? What's best for me?! How can ya'll know what's best for me? You don't even understand what Ah'm going through."

"We do understand, Rogue," said Evan. "We--"

"No, you don't. None of you can possibly know what it's like to be me right now. You can't possibly know what it was like to feel her life absorbed into me, to feel her lifeless body fall from my hands, to have her mind inside my head. You just can't understand. Ah killed her, and there's nothing you or Ah can do to change that."

"Rogue, don't say things like that," said Kitty. "You know that's not--"

"Why not? It's true isn't it, Professor? Carol will never wake up again, she'll never live her life, ever?"

"At this moment, I'm not certain. I've been monitoring her progress and she's still catatonic."

"Just say it, Professor. She's gone."

"Rogue, listen, please. We all care about you and we want what's best for you. I know that this idea is a little hard to swallow right now, but if you would just take some time to think about it..."

"Ah don't need to think about it. Ah've made up mah mind. Ah can't do it. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair to Carol, to just forget she ever existed. All that's left of her is her body and mah memories of her. Ah can't just let her be forgotten. Then she'd REALLY be gone forever."

"Please, Rogue, just think about it," pleaded Kurt. "Please."

Rogue saw the look in his eyes. It was the same look in everyone's eyes: a sad, concerned look. She could see that saying 'no' again would cause them even more pain, and she didn't want to do that, especially not to Kurt. He was the closest one to her of all the X-Men.

"All right, fine, Ah'll think about it."

"Good," Xavier told her. "Take the whole day. We'll see you here tomorrow morning to hear your decision."

Rogue left the office in a more dampered mood than when she came in. She knew that she didn't want to have her memory of the battle with Carol erased, but she didn't want to let everyone down either. She knew her guilt was consuming her life, but how could it not? There was nothing she could do to change how she felt.

Rogue went to her room for some quiet time alone, to think over what had just been proposed to her. She really didn't want to do it, but what choice did she have? If she didn't, her guilt would continue to take over her life and the other X-Men would keep trying to cheer her up. She knew she had to do something, but she didn't know what. She did know, however, that taking away the memory of her battle with Carol was NOT the answer. She needed to clear her head to think about her situation thoroughly and to sort everything out.

Rogue walked towards her window and opened it, feeling the cool breeze blow upon her face. It was such a beautiful day outside, and she very much wanted to enjoy it, but she felt her guilt stopping her, as it always did. She didn't feel that she deserved to enjoy anything and so hadn't enjoyed anything since the day she fought Carol.

Rogue thought hard as she stared outside the window, looking up at the beautiful, clear blue sky. It seemed to be calling her, telling her to let herself go and be free. She struggled with her strong desire to listen to it, but it was a struggle that she was not winning.

"Well, maybe just this once," she said to herself. "Ah DO need to clear my head."

Rogue climbed out the window and sat on the window sill. It really was a beautiful day; a perfect day to forget one's troubles. Rogue stood up slowly and then took off, flying up into the sky. She felt the wind blowing in her hair and the sun warming her face. As anyone could tell by her pale complexion, she hardly spent any time in the sun. But now, she was closer to it than ever and she was basking its warm light. She flew freely all around, enjoying every moment of it. She could see the entire mansion from up there--she could even see the whole neighborhood! She felt completely carefree; it was a great way to forget her troubles.

Upon looking down at the mansion again, she saw a blue figure running around in the backyard. She flew down to see what Beast was up to.

"Mr. McCoy?" she called out.

"Oh, hell, Rogue," Beast replied, surprised to see Rogue. "How did you know I was here?"

"Hi, Mr. McCoy. Ah was just...well...around and Ah saw you here so Ah came by."

"Really? I thought I was pretty well hidden," he said with a smirk on his face.

"All right, all right, you got me. Ah was flying around and Ah saw you."

"How did it feel?"

"It was...great. Really great. It felt so wonderful. It was the most fun Ah've had in a long time."

"But?"

"But, Ah kinda feel guilty for doing it. It's not really mah power to use, ya know? Ah just needed to clear mah head and think."

"I know how you feel. When I need to be alone and clear my mind, I come out here and, for lack of a better word, romp. You shouldn't feel guilty, Rogue. You've been faithful about not using Ms. Danver's powers. A nice fly-around every once in a while won't hurt."

"Yes it will," sighed Rogue. "Ah can't help feeling guilty over what happened. Using her powers just doesn't feel right to me."

"I see. That's understandable. But you must not let your guilt run your life as it has."

"Ah know. Ah know. Ah just - " Rogue sighed heavily again. She was glad she had found Beast to talk to. He was her favorite instructor at the Institute. Logan wasn't much of a talker or someone who liked to 'share' his feelings, Storm was never around, and Professor Xavier was more of a mentor or father figure than a friend. Beast was in many ways like Kurt--neither of them looked very human, but both were very much human on the inside--which was probably why she got along with them so well. Although it might have been different for her than it was for them, they both understood her isolation. Even though Kurt had an image inducer, he still had to hide his true face from the world, as did Beast, who did not even have one. Before he had joined the X-Men, Kurt had been lonely and could not show his face to the world without being persecuted, except perhaps in circus acts. After Mr. McCoy became the Beast, he could no longer do what he loved, teaching children, in public. Like them, Rogue had to hide away from the world, not because of her face, but because her power prevented her from getting too close to anyone. Getting emotionally close to someone would only lead to heartbreak later when she would have to acknowledge that she could never touch that person.

Rogue always enjoyed the moments she shared with Beast. They were like kindred spirits, not only because of their isolation, but for their love of books. Being a loner gave Rogue plenty of time to read. Books were her friends, her true companions. She could go anywhere and be anyone when she read. Beast found a great comfort in books as well. They helped calm his inner demon and took him to another place where he could be free. Whenever they could, they would talk for hours about their favorite books and stories which neither of them could do with anyone else at the Institute. She connected with him more than she could with anyone else. He was quite possibly the best friend she had ever had, or could ever ask for.

Rogue could talk to Beast about almost anything and so she always came to him with her dilemmas, seeking help. He always tried to understand her instead of making assumptions that he knew how she felt. He would always listen to her and advise her only when she asked, but never pressured her to take his advice. He always made it clear that her decision was HER decision. He was a fountain of wisdom, a dispenser of knowledge, and a giver of comfort, all of which she desperately needed now.

"Mr. McCoy, Ah need to talk to you about something."

"I'm all ears."

"Professor Xavier wants to take away mah memories of what happened with Ms.Danvers. The other X-Men all agreed to it, and they want me to agree to it too."

"I see, and you don't like that idea, I gather."

"No, Ah don't. Ah mean, Ah know why they want me to say yes, but Ah just can't. Ah can't do that to Carol. It wouldn't be fair to just forget about her."

"But that's not the only thing bothering you, is it?"

"No. Ah don't want to live like this anymore, feeling nothing but remorse over what happened, over what Ah've done. Ah can't go on like this, you know. It's not a life. Ah just feel trapped, like there's no way out. What should Ah do, Beast?"

"Well, I'm not going to repeat what everyone's already told you. I know that you know that it wasn't your fault, but that doesn't change things. I can't tell you what to do, Rogue; that's always up to you. But I know that you should do what you feel is right, and not just what the others would want you to do. As for your guilt, there's no real way to get rid of it. I still blame myself for turning myself into 'The Beast'. I was so anxious to cure myself of the beast within me that I didn't think of the side effects it might have. Guilt never goes away, but you can always learn from it, or try to make the best of it. In my case, I tell myself that if I hadn't become what you see before you, I probably would not have come to live here, and I wouldn't have met any of the wonderful people I enjoy seeing and spending time with, including you. As for you, maybe you can make a memorial for Carol, or dedicate your life to something she would have wanted
to do."

Rogue let out another heavy sigh of despair. "Thanks, Beast."

"I wish I had better advice for you, but--"

"No, it was the truth. It was what Ah needed to hear. Ah'm gonna head in now; Ah need to be alone for a while."

Beast watched heavy-heartedly as Rogue walked hopelessly and sadly towards the mansion.