The Revelation ~ Moonlight Confession

We needed to clean, decorate, cook, bake, etc. etc. etc.!! There were so many details that needed to be accomplished before the wedding on Friday.

Neil arrived early in the evening! I was working feverishly in the kitchen. I was hot from all of the baking and I know I was disheveled! Naturally Neil arrived at the point where I least wanted him to see me! My hair was falling out of the bun I had put it in this morning, my face was red hot from working in the kitchen all afternoon, I had flour on my face and my clothes! The room was loaded with the fruits of my labor though! There were cookies, cake, quick breads, and more!

I removed from the oven the last of culinary endeavors. I leaned against the counter and wiped my forehead with my sleeve sighing long and deep! Now I had to clean up the kitchen!! I put everything away that needed to be. Then I started the dishes.

I was nearly finished when I felt an arm encircle me and someone kissing me on the neck. I felt embarrassed to have Neil see me like this! But I looked at him anyway. "Before you say a word about my appearance Neil MacNeill, I warn you that I am sweltering, and in need of a break. I am *not* in a good mood right now!!" I nearly glared at him.

"Thank-you for the warning lass, but I was just about to tell you how beautiful you look with flour on your cheeks!" he chuckled. "Let's see what I can do to change your attitude!" He kissed my neck again, as he turned me toward him, continuing to kiss my neck and cheek until he reached my mouth. I gladly accepted! Now that was what I had been in need of all afternoon!!

I smiled at Neil! "Thank-you! I needed that!" I sighed.

"It was my pleasure Miss Huddleston!" Neil said as he released me from his embraced. "It looks as though you could do with a wee bit of assistance here! What can I do for you?"

"If you don't mind you could help me dry the dishes!?!" I asked.

"I came to spend time with my lass and if I have to dry dishes to do that, then I will!" He turned me to look at him again. As he kissed me sweetly, "But you'll owe me a walk in the moonlight after if I dry the dishes for you, is it a deal?"

I put my finger on the side of my face as if I was thinking about it. But my smile gave me away and Neil kissed me again. "Of course it's alright Neil! It's more then alright! I'm looking forward to it!"

Neil moved his face to within inches of mine and whispered, "So am I!" We both smiled. Somehow we finished the dishes in record time!

It felt so good to be out of that kitchen…finally!!!

Hand in hand we walked outside. I stretched my aching back and breathed deeply of the cool night air.

"It's a beautiful evening Neil!"

"Yes, it is, Christy." Neil sounded almost sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Neil took my hand and we walked to the gazebo. He sat down and drew me down beside him. He put his arms around me. He looked very serious. "Christy, the night we were trapped in the cabin, there was something that I wanted to tell you, but you wouldn't allow me to finish my thought. I've got to finish that thought and allow you to think about it, at least over night before we get married…" Neil paused.

I looked at him with a worried expression on my face. I had no idea what was going to happen next. Although I was fairly certain he wasn't going to call off our wedding, this was definitely something that could affect it!

"Christy, when you said, 'I don't understand you. How your mind works.' I said, 'sometimes I don't understand myself.' You reply with, 'You said you loved me, yet you left. What kind of logic is that?' I tried to explain my logic to you, but you took it the wrong way. You thought I was looking at you as an outsider, but I was looking at myself as an outsider in the world that you come from! I can't offer you the same life as Grantland. I don't have the stable life that he has, the comforts, the life you deserve. I'm gone sometimes weeks at a time. I get called away often every night, sometimes every other night. Last year I made 174 night calls. You've already given up so much to come here, I can't ask you to make a permanent sacrifice by marrying me. I told you that no matter how many times I've tried to leave, I've always come back. This is my life Christy. I want you to be sure that this is where you want to stay. I love you more then anything, but I love you too much to watch you make a huge mistake.

"These mountains are filled with hate, every hardship imaginable, suffering, sacrifice…I want you to be happy in the decision that you make. I've seen how you've tried to adjust to life here, but you're still struggling with it. You love the children and the people here, but, is that enough for you to be happy here?

"Don't get me wrong, Christy. I know you love me, but is it enough to carry you through the hard times? I told you once that I was married before, to Margaret, she was miserable here. Our lives were torn apart by her inability to cope with life in these mountains. We started out in Pennsylvania, but I wound up back in Cuter Gap again! She hated it here, when she came down with Typhoid there was no fight left in her anymore. She didn't want to go on living.

"when I went to Baltimore I left because I thought you had chosen the road that was best of you. I didn't tell you that I loved you before I left because I wanted to believe that life with Grantland was the best life for you. But I couldn't be without you. I told you why at Ingle's Cove. I know you feel the same way about me, but can you honestly leave all of the comforts you've known for a life with me here in the cove?

Grantland could offer you everything that you're used to. He will leave here one day probably for a church in the city somewhere. I have a meager…humble existence here. I need these people, these mountain's and everything that goes with them.

I want you to think about all of this seriously before you walk down that aisle on Friday. I can't stand the thought of putting you through what Margaret went through!

I looked at him with concern. "Neil?" I began, but he put his finger on my lips to quiet me.

"No, Christy. I want you to give this some serious thought. Don't' jump to any conclusions. I want you to be sure that marrying me is what you want out of life. I told you before, more then anyone I know you deserve to get what you want out of life. I want you to be happy. Pray about your decision."

He took my hand and led me back to the mission house. "I'll see you tomorrow, Christy."

"Don't I even get a kiss good-bye?" I asked.

Neil shook his head sorrowfully, "No, I don't want to confuse you further. I'm not going to try to persuade you one way or the other. This decision has to be from your heart. Not your head or your emotions." Neil took my hand and held it to his heart.

"I do admire what you've done Christy. Your determination, your strength. Giving up your life in Asheville couldn't have been easy for you. The fact that you're staying even after your salary cut. I know there's something that draws you to remain here. Please don't think I'm trying to push you away, for that's the last thing I want to happen. But I'd rather you found out your true feelings now then after we're married. The chances of my moving away from here permanently, at least in the near future, are very slim indeed." He placed his hand on my cheek. "I only want you to be sure you're doing the right thing."

I felt tears in my eyes. I put my arms around his neck. "I love you Neil."

He put his arms around me, almost reluctantly. "I love you too Christy." He paused as he took my arms from around his neck, "We will have hard times ahead Christy. But we will also have glorious times as well. You have to weigh your decision on what you know, and what you *don't* know, which do you want to follow-the straight and familiar or the winding and intricate?"

Then he patted my hand and turned toward the barn. I wanted to say something, to stop him from leaving, but I knew he wanted me think about this. I watched him enter the barn to saddle Duke. I wanted to go into the barn and argue, but I knew it was no use at the moment. Once he was in the barn I turned and walked into the mission house. Miss Alice, my parents, and Ruby Mae were in the Parlor. I couldn't face anyone right now, so I went straight to my room.

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