The Revelation ~ The Refutation
I thought about Neil's words most of the night. I sat up all night praying and thinking. Weighing the facts, just as Neil told me to do. But I shut out everything else and listened to my heart. God speaks to your heart and that's where you'll find the path that He wants you to follow. So I was listening for the still small voice of God.
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In the morning I went down deliberately late. I didn't want to eat breakfast. But I did want to speak to my parents before Neil came today.
I found mother in the kitchen and I asked to speak to her privately. We went up to my bedroom to talk. Once I closed the door I couldn't seem to turn to face my mother who was already sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Mother?" I paused. "Neil asked me to think about some things before the wedding, now I'm sure I'm doing to right thing, but he wants me to be positively sure that I am not making a mistake. He has his doubts as to whether or not I will be able to handle living here. When he gets called away from home so often. Living with the hatred, suffering, hardship and suffering. He's been wondering how long I'll be able to do without the comforts of Asheville before I get tired of living here.
"He wants me to think about this and give him my answers later today."
"Only you can answer this question my dear. I know how much you love it here. I've seen how well you've learned to fit in with the people. Your heart is here. When I see you back in Asheville you are still anxious to be here. I can not give you the answers that you seek, only you can find those answers in your heart." Mother gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek and headed toward the door.
"Mother, I think you realize that I'm going to have some time alone with Neil when he comes today. So could you help to take over for things here while I'm not available?"
"Of course my dear!" Then mother opened the door and walked out, closing it behind her.
I didn't have a clear-cut answer from my mother, but at least she didn't say that I was making a mistake! Now I wanted to talk to my father to get his opinion. By the look of the sky I knew I had to find my father soon before Neil arrived.
I searched the mission grounds, finding my father in the barn speaking to Dr. Ferrand.
"Daddy, may I speak to you in private?"
"Of course Girlie! How about I take my little girl for one last walk, while she's still my 'Girlie'?"
"That sounds very good Daddy!"
When we were out of earshot of the Mission I began, "Daddy, I want your honest opinion about something. Now I want you to tell me exactly what you think, don't try to hide your feelings from me trying not to hurt my feelings. I want to know your most honest opinion, do you promise?"
"Yes, Girlie, I do." Daddy paused. "But what is it that has you so flustered all of a sudden?"
"You see Daddy, Neil asked me last night, to think about something before the wedding. He doesn't want me to make a mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life. He said that he wants me to think about living here with him. Am I going to be able to handle life here with the suffering and pain? Plus his not being away from home so often. My question to you Daddy is that do you think I'm able to handle life here?"
"Girlie, I have watched you here with these people longer then your mother, since I was here weeks before your mother arrived last Thanksgiving. I watched you with the children, with Miss Alice as well as with David and Neil. Girlie, if anyone is meant to live here as Neil's wife, I believe it's you. But if you feel in your heart that you shouldn't marry Neil, then I suggest that you don't do it. But I've seen you and Neil together, and I feel that you'll be miserable without each other.
"Girlie, only you know what is going on in your heart. If God is telling you something different, then you know you should follow God."
"I know Daddy. I don't feel that God is leading me to do anything different, but Neil seems to have some doubts about me. How do I convince him that I'm sincere?"
"Neil's a true gentleman, Christy. Speak to him from your heart and he'll know that you're telling him the truth. I'm sure of it."
We had arrived back at the mission now. I noticed Duke hitched up out in front of the mission house. I was anxious to see Neil again, but I was nervous about speaking to him today.
Daddy and I walked into the mission; Neil was sitting at the dining table having tea with mother and Miss Alice. I sort of felt sorry for him! It made me smile!
I walked up behind him and hugged his neck. He looked rather lonely at this table! But he was taking it all in stride. He truly was a gentleman.
"Would you like to go for a walk Dr. MacNeill?" I whispered to him.
He turned his head to look at me, "Yes please, Miss Huddleston!" He smiled shyly.
I took his hand and he excused himself from the table. "Can we go for a ride instead, Christy? I'd like to get away from everyone to talk more freely. If you don't mind."
"No I don't mind Neil. I'll saddle Buttons." We headed for the barn.
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We rode to Ingle's Cove again. This was becoming 'our' spot…I think! We rode in almost complete silence.
We dismounted. "It doesn't look like ran does it, Neil?" I teased.
"Ah, no Christy, it doesn't appear so." Neil smiled.
I took his hand; he stood back and looked at my hand in his. "It's alright Neil, I promise."
We walked up to the top of the ridge to look out again. "Well, Christy? What have you decided?"
"Neil, I've thought all night long about what you told me last night. There is just nothing about what you said that has changed my mind about marrying you. I've lived here for over a year. I know I've made mistakes here and I've tried to rush into things that maybe I should have just left alone, but I've always tried to help out the people of the cove whenever I could." I turned to look Neil in the eyes. I picked up his other hand and stood gazing into his eyes. "I love you Neil. To tell you the truth, there are times when I miss Asheville, but you know something? If I left here to move back home, I'd miss you more then anything. Yes, we maybe don't know each other as well as David and I know each other, but my heart belongs to you. Like I told you at your apartment that night, when I'm not with you it's even difficult for me to breathe! I lay awake at night thinking about you, I see your face every time I close my eyes, I hear your voice on every breeze, I can't live another day without you!" I was fighting the lump in my throat, so I was whispering as I finished speaking. "Please don't turn me away, Neil! I've got friends here in the cove! Opal, Miss Alice, Ruby Mae, the Spencer's, I know everyone around here and they are accepting me more all the time. I have the school and the children. When you aren't at home, I'll still have friends to turn to. I love these mountains because they give me strength! I won't be like Margaret. You know that I have more to live for here then I do anywhere else!" I moved as close as I could to Neil. "But most of all I could never find anyone, anywhere that would be as loving and kind as you!" I dropped his hands and put my arms around his neck. "I love you Neil MacNeill, and that fact is not going to change, even if you turn me away!"
Neil smiled and drew me into him. "Oh Christy! I can't live without you either! I can't tell you how happy you've made me!" He leaned down and kissed me ardently.
"Tomorrow I'll be Mrs. Neil MacNeill!" I declared.
Neil smiled broadly. "That sounds so good Christy! I can hardly wait to call you Mrs. MacNeill!"
"I'm sorry to ruin this moment Neil, but if we are going to have a wedding tomorrow we had better get back to the mission and finish up the work that needs to be done!" I stated. "You're going to stay and help, aren't you?"
Neil drew me closer, "Only if you promise me another walk in the moonlight tonight!"
"I think that can be arranged, Neil!" I winked at him. "I know of a wonderful spot on a ridge overlooking the mountains where we can be surround by millions of stars!"
"That sounds wonderful Christy!!" Neil said as he kissed me again.
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