Backlashed

By: CNJ

PG-13

3

Almost a year later...

Lucille:

I don't know why I felt so uneasy at this meeting. Was it because we women were on one side while the men, who were mostly managers, were on the other? I don't know.

Charles then introduced what the new idea was for the restaurants and then called on Gary Branway, who I guess had thought up the idea.

But as he stood and proudly unfolded it, my stomach felt queasy and I had a strange feeling as the idea sounded very familiar. It was familiar because it was my idea, not his.

But I could only just sit in silent horror as he took credit for what I'd come up with. Vera Moles and Helene Vanner, who sat on either side of me, glanced at me since they knew that it had been my idea, something that would make restaurant orders run more smoothly.

As Gary spoke, I saw him look my way and his eyes became hard, then he looked away from me. I got the feeling he was daring me to speak out.

He didn't need to worry, because I didn't have the nerve. Once Gary was done, the men clapped. Some of the women did and I forced a weak smile, but I was close to tears.

It wasn't just this idea stolen. There was something really wrong with the way all the women were treated here. Was it really an accident that the women were all data entry clerks while the men started off in data entry, but then moved up? Why? I wondered over and over as the meeting adjourned and we headed out.

"...Lucy, Lucy, why didn't you speak up?" Anne Speacher sat beside me as I tried to eat my fettucini. But I couldn't force it down because my stomach was in knots.

"I'm too chicken..." I muttered.

"It was your idea and Gary just stole it from you!" Anne huffed as she dug into her salad. "I tell you, the women here are considered second-class citizens. I really think you need to tell that bastard off and maybe sue."

"I can't." I gave up trying to eat and pushed it across the table toward her.

"Yeah, you can. Sure, Gary might get bent out of shape, but you've got to fight for your idea."

"I just can't. I have enough problems, Anne."

"Oh, Lucy..." Anne sighed softly as she continued eating.

I did have more than enough problems to deal with and the last thing I needed was to get into a mess with the management. Just then out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gary pass the lounge and as he did so, he looked over at me with a cold, cold smile of victory.

God, his blue eyes were so chilly that my hands started to shake and my stomach tightened. I knew if I tried to speak up, Gary would really make life hell for me.

My hands still shook after he passed and I clenched them together to stop them from shaking. Anne looked over at me sympathetically and put her hand over mine.

"Don't worry, Lucille, don't worry..." she whispered. "We'll find a way to get it back..."

I shook my head, feeling more and more down.

I headed home, feeling defeated. I knew what was happening was wrong, but I couldn't fight it. Lack of power. And I was still stuck in data entry.

I sat in my old station wagon a long minute, then started it. Or tried to. Oh...God! I thought as the engine didn't catch. Oh, God, oh, God.

It had been doing this more and more and whenever it did that, I needed someone to push it to get it started.

But I was by myself now and didn't see anyone in the parking lot. I sat a minute, fighting back tears.

Come on, LaRusso, don't start blubbering right here, I told myself.

I tried several more times with no success. I then pulled the keys out because I was dangerously close to bawling my head off.

"Need help?" Vera Moles stood by my car on the way to hers. I nodded.

"It's...kind of embarrassing," I whispered.

"I bet you need someone to push to get the spark going, right?" she guessed.

"You're right..." I stared a minute, surprised.

"I'm pretty strong; I can push." Vera offered, getting in back of the car. Sure enough, with her help, we got it started.

"Thank you so much, Vera," I let out my breath.

"No problem," she said as she headed toward her car. "My brother used to have a car like yours and it did that a lot."

It was almost dark by the time I was halfway home and that's when I noticed that part of that way was through a rather dark isolated area. I began to feel nervous just looking around.

What if the car breaks down here? I wondered fearfully. The thought of being stuck here made my hands shake and my stomach knot up again.

I was grateful I made it home this time. But what about if I didn't? I worried as I let myself into the apartment. I couldn't afford another car now, not on my salary. And I couldn't afford to have my car fixed; the one time I asked the mechanic a few years back, he told me it wouldn't be worth as much as just junking it and getting a new car.

I pitched a macaroni mix into the oven and headed to my room to change. I let the macaroni cook for its usual time, but for some reason when I went to eat it, it was rubbery.

Great, I thought. Just fantastic. Having a ruined dinner to top off my lousy day made me feel like going to bed early.

I was in bed reading and worrying about the car and the job when Daniel called. He's in college and lives with two roommates. We talked a while and it made me feel a little better.

"Mom...you sound a little down," Daniel told me. "Is anything wrong?" Should I tell him what's been going on at work? I wondered.

"I guess....just a rough day," I turned over. "I'll be all right." Daniel's very sensitive and picks up on people's moods easily.

"Oh...I'm sorry," Daniel said softly. "Well...I hope tomorrow's better."

I'm not so sure, I thought after we hung up and I went to brush my teeth. I got the toothpaste on the brush, but as I turned on the faucet, water splatted over the sink and all over the floor.

"Damn..." I muttered, realizing that the faucet was broken.

I turned the water off in a hurry before there was even a bigger mess in the bathroom, then backed up and slammed my hip into the toilet. My hip really didn't hurt much, but my stomach sure did.

My stomach which had been in knots most of today now tightened in painful spasms. Tears came to my eyes and this time I couldn't fight them back.

I dropped the toothbrush into the sink, tears spilling over my face and feeling so discouraged about life that I had to sit. So I slumped down into the toilet and just bawled.

It could have been an hour; it could have been ten minutes, but I just really bawled like a baby for what seemed like the longest time.

My life was becoming a wreck and I didn't know what to do about it. The women at work were relegated to second-class positions and my idea had been stolen, but I was too chicken to stand up to it; my car was breaking down on me more and more and the damn faucet was falling apart.

I kept crying until I was exhausted and a little numb. I guess crying had done my stomach some good because had relaxed some and the pain had faded. Rubbing it, I headed to bed.

I woke up an hour before my alarm went off the next morning and had an hour to lie there feeling miserable. It wasn't even light out yet, but I couldn't go back to sleep.

How the hell was I going to face Gary today after what he'd done? I couldn't go back to sleep, so I got up and the thought of facing work made my stomach tighten again. I had to face work, because I certainly couldn't afford to just quit. I was barely making the rent as it was.

All I could manage that morning was tea and even that made my edgy stomach rebel. I then remembered the condition of my car and rushed out early to catch the bus. It took almost an hour to get there. By car it had been twenty minutes or so.

When I got there, I found a note on my desk. Thank you, Lucille, for the inspiration for the FANTASTIC idea I had! it said. Be sure you keep it between you and me and you won't have trouble. Gary. Oh, God.

My stomach tightened more as I crumpled the note and stuffed it into my desk. My heart banged in fear as I pulled the lists of restaurant orders for the day and began typing them into the computer.

Later as I was headed on a lunch break and wondering if my stomach could handle the light lunch of crackers I had, I heard someone arguing down the hall. "...don't think we know what's going on here, but we women do!" it was Anne Speacher.

"What is going on..." I heard Charles Bell's voice. "Is that there is a lot of low morale and bad attitudes going on here and yours is one of them."

"That's bullshit and you know it!" Anne exploded. "You think I don't notice that it's the women who are stuck in data entry while you guys are promoted ahead of us! Lucille, Vera, and I have trained about a dozen guys who started AFTER us with less education and experience, yet they're above us as office managers! I could take you to court for this!"

"Oh, yes, go right ahead and try it," Charles said smoothly. "If you can spare the expense, not to mention, unwanted publicity and slander. Hey, a lot of these guys have fragile egos and if you ruffle their feathers...who know what they'll do? You know, I won't be able to stop them. So think twice about accusing this company of alleged sex discrimination."

I was shaking just hearing this. I could see why none of the women were willing to really fight back. I fled to the lounge and managed to eat some of my crackers.

This was getting scary. I was nervous. Two of the guys came in and I kept my eyes down, afraid to make eye contact with them.

I'd just gotten back to my desk and was typing up another batch of orders when I heard mocking laughter from a desk down and across from me. Helene's desk. Glancing up, I saw Gary and Mike Bode leaning over Helene on either side of her. I couldn't hear everything they said, since they spoke in low voices, but it didn't sound too good.

"Leave me alone..." I heard Helene say softly.

"Maybe you'd better re-think that," Gary warned, leaning close as Helene tried to concentrate on her typing.

Mike touched her shoulder, running his hand down toward her chest and Helene stiffened and paled, then mumbled, "'Scuse me..." and got up and ran out of the office.

Gary and Mike snickered cruelly. I felt sick just witnessing this. My stomach tightened back up and began to hurt again.

Gary then turned and I tried to look like I was absorbed in my own data entry work, but my hands were shaking and I kept having to go back and correct several typos. I felt them looking over at me and my heart began to pound and I hoped that they wouldn't head my way. My pulse was swooshing so loudly that I was afraid that they'd hear it, hear how scared I was.

"Hey, Lucille..." I jumped, accidentally hitting a row of r's, then looked up. Thank the stars they hadn't come up to my desk, but Gary was staring at me with that cold smile. "You got my little congratulations note early today, didn't you?"

I nodded. "Well, my idea is headed to the headquarters of Rocket Data and I'll really have won big time. After all, this is the eighties. And I've won here...you get it, don't you?"

"Yeah..." I said in a low fearful voice. "You win."

"Oh, it's great you see things the company way," Gary snickered. "I like that...unlike some of the other women we can name. Just remember your place here and you won't run into trouble." With that, Gary and Mike left, still snickering.

"You sure did win, Gary," I whispered. "And I lost." I fought to steady my hands, then kept typing away unsteadily. I was relieved that today was Friday.

"...I have the apartment to myself this weekend," my son told me that night over the phone. "So why don't you come on over tonight and spend the night?"

"Sure," I was feeling a bit better hearing from Daniel.

"So about seven?"

"Sounds good." After we hung up, I packed a couple of overnight things in an overnight bag and headed to Daniel's place.

"Hiiii, Mom!" Daniel called, coming out from the kitchen and swooping me into a huge hug.

"Hi, honey," I hugged him back. His warm hug made my stomach relax and on top of that, a really pleasant smell wafted from the kitchen. "Boy, something smells good."

"A recipe I remembered you used to make," Daniel and I went into the kitchen. "The macaroni and rice mix you sometimes made when I was growing up."

"Oh, yes, I remember," I sat at the kitchen table as Daniel re-tied a towel around his neck and stirred the mix more.

Watching my son stir the mix made me feel proud. I knew he wasn't going to be one of those men who expected the wife to do all the cooking and cleaning. I even managed a smile for the first time in days.

"Is Mr. Miyagi coming tonight too?"

"I invited him, but he's having friends over for dinner at his place and they already accepted," Daniel shook his head as he turned off the stove. "A group of monks from Massachussetts he hadn't seen in a long time."

I got up to help him set the table, but he told me, "It's all right, I got it, Mom. Just relax. You've worked hard all week." Seeing the rice-macaroni mix made me actually feel hungry for the first time in days and we dug in. As we ate, I asked him how college was coming and from what he told me, it seemed to be going all right. I was glad that things were going well for my son.

"Mom..." Daniel leaned toward me as we had tea with a few cookies after dinner. "Is everything all right with you?" I couldn't answer right away and I had to look down and fight back tears. "It's not, is it?" Daniel asked softly, taking my hand.

"No, not really," I almost whispered. Just thinking about work made me tense up again.

"Is it work?"

"Yeah..." I wasn't sure whether I wanted to tell him about the harassment that was going on there.

"You can tell me..." Daniel put his hand on mine.

Tears welled in my eyes and haltingly, I told him some of what was going on about how the women weren't being given the same promotions as men and about my car having more trouble and about not having money, just barely enough for necessities.

"Oh, Mom, I'm so sorry..." Daniel whispered, his dark eyes sad. "Did you try to bring it up with the management?"

"I'm..." I wiped my eyes. "I can't. I really can't afford to lose this job, Daniel."

"God...that's tough."

Daniel:

I'd gotten up to pee at around one in the morning. As I was coming back to bed, I heard a soft moaning sound, then a whimper. What...? I saw my mom kind of sit up a little on the bed I'd loaned her for the night as I stood by my cot I'd pulled out. Then I heard the sobs and knew she was crying.

"Oh, Mom..." I whispered, coming around to her side and touching her shoulder.

Mom was slouched in a half-sitting position and she was crying really hard! I hugged her and at first she was tense, then leaned on me and kept crying really hard for the next few minutes.

I could feel her trembling in spurts every few seconds. I'd sensed that Mom hadn't been very happy at work lately, but I wondered if there was something more going on than she had told me.

The past few times I'd talked to her, she'd sounded really down, even though she'd tried not to show it. And just tonight, when she'd first arrived her at my place, I'd sensed something else, something...not really defensive, but guarded.

As Mom struggled to sit up, I handed her tissues and turned on the bedside lamp. Oh, it broke my heart to see Mom this way. Something was really hurting her and I had to find out what it was and help her some way.

My mind flashed back to all the times when she'd been there for me when I was hurting. I remembered how when I'd been bullied by the Cobra Kai gang in high school, I'd been reluctant to tell Mom what was going on. I'd claim that the bruises I got were bike accidents.

But I couldn't fool Mom and she didn't give up until she got me to tell what was really going on. Mr. Miyagi had helped me with getting karate down, while it was Mom who'd stood by me and offered me unconditional emotional support.

So it was only fair now that I do the same for Mom now that she was hurting so much. Mom wiped her eyes and struggled to catch her breath. I held her hand, which was trembling and stroked her back until her tears slowed.

"Mom..." I said softly. "What is it really? I get the feeling it's more than just some rough days going on, isn't there?"

Mom nodded, then bit by bit, painfully told me about some harassment that was going on and how some of the women who spoke up were being threatened and about a male co-worker stealing her idea, then scaring her into silence.

"Oh...shit..." I gasped, feeling a surge of anger. "That asshole needs to pay."

"Anne Speacher told me the same thing," Mom blew her nose.

"Well, did you tell his boss that it was your idea he stole?" I asked.

"I c-can't..." Fresh tears filled Mom's dark eyes and spilled down her face.

Her thick brows, so much like mine, slanted again and my heart ached for her. "They'll make life hell for me. Gary left a note basically telling me to keep quiet about it."

"So he threatened you." I spoke this quietly, but felt like hunting Gary down and telling him what an asshole he was, then giving a good chop to his balls and making him regret doing this to Mom!

Mom seemed to hesitate a minute, then nodded.

"Oh, Daniel, I've been so scared," she whispered.

"Oh, Mom, I can imagine," I hugged her again. "I'm so glad you told me. And I'm so, so sorry this is happening to you."

This was supposed to be the eighties, but I'm always sorry to hear that there are some Neanderthal guys out there who think of females as second-class citizens.

"I feel like such a wimp," Mom whispered. "So weak. I keep telling myself, why was I too dull to see what was going on until now?"

"Mom, you are not dull," I told her. "You're one of the smartest people I know."

It's true. I remembered how when her old station wagon kept breaking down on the long trek from New Jersey, I'd help her push and she'd pull the plug to get it going again. Never did she go running to some guy to bail her out.

I always thought it was a shame that some people thought of car mechanics as "guy" things, when I know my Mom knows more about cars than a lot of guys I know.

"Have you maybe thought of taking more classes so you can get a better job?"

"Yes...but I don't have the money." Mom said this in a sort of flat way as if she'd accepted lack of money as part of her life.

I wished I had cash I could loan her, but I was on a limited budget myself, being in college and helping Mr. Miyagi run the bonsai shop. In the summer, I'd taken other jobs, odd jobs, but none of them paid a lot.

What I was hoping was to start another business after college, but that might be a few years away yet. Meanwhile, I'd maybe be a teaching assistant. Mom needed help now, not in a few years. If there was some way I could help her get the cash...

"It'll be all right, Mom," I tried to comfort her. "I'll think of something; don't worry, don't worry. Hey, is it all right if I talked to Mr. Miyagi and maybe the three of us can brainstorm something?"

"I guess so," Mom nodded as she slid back down under the covers.

"Don't worry, Mom." I reassured her. "Stay strong and we'll think up something."

"Daniel..." Mom said softly. "Thank you...for listening."

"Anytime." I kissed her and turned out the lamp and got back into my own cot.

It was then that I realized that other than down, Mom had been guarded and wary these last few days. I still felt like kicking that Gary idiot's butt, but I was relieved that Mom had gotten this off her chest and I was hoping she didn't feel so alone anymore.

Poor Lucille; she's really going through a rough time, isn't she? More later!