The Zelda Characters Go…CAMPING!
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Zelda isn't mine. Skullkid speaking all in caps isn't mine. All I own is this cardboard box and my squeaky bunny slippers. *SQUEAK*
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME BACK!
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*The characters pack their stuff (not that, you sickos)*
Zelda: *Trying to cram a stuffed bear, a VCR/TV, a Gamecube and a pillow into a teensy tiny suitcase* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRGH! GET IN THERE! IN! IN! IN!!!!!! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!! *The bottom of her suitcase splits, spraying teddy bears everywhere*
Link: Here, use this null space-time pocket. *Hands Zelda a small brown bag*
Zelda: What's that?
Link: I keep my stuff in it. Where do you think I put all my weapons?
Zelda: Oh. *Dumps her suitcase into the bag. It fits perfectly, even though the bag is about five inches wide* COOL!
Rauru: You pack too much stuff, Zelda!
Zelda: Oh, you should talk.
Rauru: *A full-size refrigerator is strapped to his back* WHAT? I just packed a light snack!
Skullkid: OOH! OOH! Who wants to see my boxer shorts?
Everyone but Skullkid: EEEEEEEEEEW!!!! *They all shield their eyes*
Skullkid: HAR-HAR! No, look! *Holds up a pair of boxers with the words "Dangerous when exposed" stamped on them in big white letters*
Ganondorf: Ain't that the truth.
Skullkid: HEY!
Link: *to Ganondorf* and you would know that…HOW?
Ganondorf: Well, let's just say I get chills whenever I hear the phrase "I'm a big kid now."
Link: Ah.
Darunia: *Packing his boulder-shaped suitcase with various kinds of rocks* WHY do we have to go on this trip? I WANNA GO SEE STAR WARS!!!!!!*SOB*
Link: Since when do you like Star Wars, Darunia?
Darunia: Since I…uh…wellllllll…I…
Link: I thought so. IS EVERYBODY READY?
Everybody: YEAH!
Link: Then let's get in the truck and GO!
Everybody: YYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! *They all get on a truck that appeared from nowhere* LET'S GO CAMPING! *The truck breaks in half from the weight on it* CRAP!
*On to the campsite, for sake of time*
*The truck (mysteriously repaired) pulls up to the check-in point that all campsites seem to have*
Guy in check-in: Hey, like, can I help yoo?
Link: Yeah, I'd like a spot that's suitable for…*counts everybody, gets stuck and stops* a whole F***ing lot of people.
Guy in check-in: Yeah, like, I'll have, like, a look at what we've got. *Glances down* Yep, we's got a space for a, like, F***ing lot of people. I can also give you a spot for, like, a Sh*tload of people if you'd like.
Link: Nope, I don't have that many.
Guy in check-in: Wait…like, HEY! Aren't you that guy who, like, clogged the toilets with like, cream cheese, like, five weeks ago?
Link: Uh…*Speeds away*
Guy in check-in: Damn it, like, every time…
*On the truck*
Zelda: Why do I think I've forgotten something?
Skullkid: I DUNNO! Maybe it has to with HOW MUCH STUFF YOU PACKED!
Zelda: No, that's not it. *SIGH* Well, maybe it'll come to me later…
*Back in the Kokori forest*
Impa: *Standing on the bridge connecting Hyrule field to the Kokori forest, holding two suitcases* They forgot us.
Ruto: Yep.
Impa: They actually forgot us.
Ruto: Yep.
Impa: This sucks.
Ruto: Yep.
Impa: Want to go play poker?
Ruto: Yep.
Impa: I that all you can say?
Ruto: Yep.
*Back at the campsite*
*For sake of time (again) the tents are set up*
Malon: AAH! CAN'T YOU JUST SMELL THAT FRESH AIR?
*Right on cue, Rauru farts*
Darunia: *Wrinkles his nose (or whatever he has)* No, not anymore.
Malon: EW! Rauru!
Rauru: *to himself* I shouldn't have eaten fifty tacos for breakfast…*Innocently* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS, Malon?
Malon: GO USE THE BATHROOM, YOU PIG!
Rauru: But there aren't bathrooms here, are there?
*A Port-a-Potty drops from the sky and lands on Rauru*
Malon: EEP! OH NO! RAURU! RAURU, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Rauru: *Inside the potty* Uh…give me about five minutes! *FLUSH*
Skullkid: I'm HUNGry! Give mE somETHIng to EaT!
Link: Uh, Skullkid? Are…you all right?
Skullkid: YEs! In FACT, I FEEL GREAT! ABSOLUTE-ALLEY WONDERFUL!
Link: OH, NO!
Zelda: What happened?
Link: HE'S TURNED INTO *Dramatic music* -thank you, maestro.
Maestro with entire orchestra: You're welcome. *Bows*
Link: Thanks. Anyway, as I was saying- HE'S TURNED INTO…ALL-CAPS SKULLKID!
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Skullkid: FEEL MY WRATH OF ICE! *Starts Ice-wrathing*
*At the headquarters of The Council of Annoying Supporting Characters (A.K.A Starbucks)*
Figure 1: The Thirty-fourth meeting of this council will come to order!
All: HUZZAH!
Figure 1: I demand a status report on operation "Miyamoto!" (a/n: I don't know how his name's spelled)
Figure 2: YESSIRREPORTINGFORDUTYSIR! ASYOUCANSEEALLOPERATIVESHAVEBEENPUTINTOPOSITIONASWESPEAK! WEWILLBEPROCEEDINGASPLANNEDSIR!
Figure 1: Did you, by any chance, get into the coffee stash again?
Figure 2: NOSIRWHYWOULDYOUSAYTHATSIR?
Figure 1: Call it a hunch.
Figure 2: OKAYIFYOUINSISTSIR! YOUWOULDSAYITBECAUSEITWASAHUNCH!
Figure 1: No, you moron. I mean that it's so obvious you had too much coffee.
Figure 2: IDON'TKNOWWHATYOU'RETALKINGABOUTSIR!
Figure 1: *Puts his head in his hands* Is there anybody ELSE who had too much coffee here?
*Everybody raises a rapidly vibrating hand*
Figure 1: That's it! I'm switching us to decaf! *He storms off*
Figure 6: WELLTHATWASRUDE!
Figure 7: HECANBESOIMMATURESOMETIMES.
Figure 6: TELLMEABOUTIT. HEYWHYHAVEN'TWESAIDOURMOTTOYET?
Figure 7: WEGOTSUEDFORUSINGSOMETHINGFROMPOKEMON.
Figure 6: OHISEE…
*Backtothecamp…sorry, I'm having trouble with not typing like I'm hyper…*
*Everything's frozen*
Skullkid: WOOHOO! FEEL MY WRATH OF ICE! *Ice wraths a toilet*
Zelda: *Hiding in a tent* AAH! GET BACK, YOU PSYCHO! I'M TRAINED IN THE MARTIAL ARTS!
Darunia: *Next to Zelda (on her right)* Um……….don't you mean arts and crafts?
Zelda: Uh…WHATEVER!
Skullkid: FEEL THE POWER OF PLAGARISM! WOOHOO! FEEL MY WRATH OF ICE! *Starts to Ice Wrath again*
Zelda: EEP! Hold me, Link! *Hugs the person next to her on her left*
Skullkid: *Is being squeezed to death in the hug* HELP! LEGGO! LEGGO!
Zelda: AAAAAAAHHH! But…I…HOW? WHAT? …………………. I'm confused!!!!!
Skullkid: Oh, come on, you guys! You didn't actually think that was ME, did you?
*Everyone in the tent besides Skullkid shifts uneasily and hides various weapons they were going to use on him*
Skullkid: *Crosses his arms* Well, I'm PISSED! Can't you see the obvious difference?
All. *They look from the Skullkid outside (currently Ice-wrathing a bag of marshmallows) to the Skullkid in the tent* Nope.
Skullkid: That's Misty Dawn's Skullkid! GGGuy likes originality, so he'd never use anything of Misty's! (a/n: I'm not trying to be egoistic. I would NEVER use anything of MD's.)
Link: So how's that Skullkid different from you?
Skullkid: Let me explain…*the screen goes wavy and turns to a black and white flashback*
Skullkid' voice: It was five months ago, when it all began…
Ganondorf's voice: Hey, wait! Is this a flashback?
Skullkid's voice: Yeah, I think it's pretty OBVIOUS, G-dork.
Ganondorf's voice: GAH! I'M AFRAID OF FLASHBACKS! I WANT MY MOMMIES!
Link's voice: SUCK IT UP, YOU WUSS!
Skullkid's voice: That'll do, Link. Anyway, it all started…
*Five hours later*
Skullkid: And that's how it all happened.
*Everyone is asleep*
Skullkid: *Pouts* VERY FUNNY!
Link: *waking up*…huh? Oh, good story Skullkid.
MD's Skullkid: ARE YOU DONE YET? I NEED SOMETHING TO ICE WRATH!
Skullkid: Hang on! I'll find someone to sacrifice!
MD's Skullkid: ALRIGHTY THEN!
*Ganondorf gets pushed out of the tent*
Ganondorf: NO! WHY ME?!
Skullkid: Because I said so.
Ganondorf: I swear I didn't steal your boxer shorts! HONEST!
MD's Skullkid: FEEL MY WRATH OF ICE! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ganondorf: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Curls up into a ball*
MD's Skullkid: MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *A glass ball hurtles out of nowhere, smacking MD's Skullkid out of the air and onto the ground* OWCHIES!
GGGuy: ENOUGH! I can't even sleep with you guys making all this noise! YOU! *Points at MD's Skullkid, who is rubbing his butt in pain* GET BACK IN YOUR OWN FIC! I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO! LIKE SLEEP!!!!
MD's Skullkid: YA GONNA MAKE ME?
GGGuy: Yep.
MD's Skullkid: FEEL MY WRATH OF ICE!!!!!!! *Misses GGGuy and ice wraths a nearby tree*
A nearby tree: CRAP! NOT AGAIN!
Everybody else: O_O………………………………………
A nearby tree: What?
GGGuy: That was queer…
MD's Skullkid: YOU CAN NEVER DEFEAT ME!!!!!!
GGGuy: I can't, but I know some people who CAN! Oh, fellas! *Puts two fingers in his mouth and whistles*
Lawyers: SIR YES SIR! *They mob MD's Skullkid and pin him down*
Lawyer 1: GGGuy is suing you for damaging his fic. Please come with us. The nice police officers will escort you home.
MD's Skullkid: YOU'LL NEVER CAPTURE ME! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER! *Vanishes in a cloud of maroon-colored smoke*
GGGuy: I'm hungry. I'll see you all later.
Link: WAIT! HOW IS THIS FIC BEING WRITTEN IF YOU'RE HERE?!
GGGuy: Uh…. GOTTA GO! *Vanishes*
Zelda: Where's G-dork and Rauru?
Skullkid: I found Ganondorf! *He's standing over a huddling pile of armor that looks remarkably like our friend Ganondorf*
Malon: Ganondorf?
Ganondorf: *still curled up* DON'T HURT MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I DON'T WANNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!
Malon: I think he's lost it.
Skullkid: I KNOW he's lost it.
Malon: Why's his armor on the crotch area all rusty?
Skullkid: *In an annoying sing-song voice* HA-HA! GANONDORF'S A BED-WETTER! HAHA!
Link: But, where's Rauru?
Malon: I haven't seen him.
Zelda: Me neither.
Darunia: Nope.
Saria: Not me.
Link: Well, I'd better go check the snack machines. *Walks off*
*Meanwhile, at the Council of annoying supporting characters*
Figure 1: I DEMAND A STATUS REPORT! WHERE'S FIGURE 2?
Figure 2: I right here, sir!
Figure 1: Are you calmed down now?
Figure 2: YES SIR! I'M A JOBER AS A SUDGE, SIR!
Figure 1: You weren't drinking, were you?
Figure 2: NO SIR! I SWEAR TO DRUNK THAT I AM NOT GOD!
Figure 1: Oooooo…kay. Anyway, WHAT IS THE STATUS OF PLAN B?
Figure 2: The first wave of annoyingness was repelled, SIR! But, we have managed to capture the fattest and best-loved character of them all, SIR!
Figure 1: Wow, you managed to capture Link?
Figure 2: NO SIR! We captured the loveable Rauru, SIR!
Figure 1: WHAT? WHAT GOOD IS HE GOING TO DO?
Figure 2: We will tell Link and his friends that unless they turn themselves in, we will give Rauru Liposuction until all those years of fattening up will be wasted!
Figure 1: EXCELLENT! Care to share an evil laugh?
Figure 2: I'd LOVE TO!
Both of them: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
WHO are the mysterious figures? WILL Rauru get Liposuction? WHY didn't anyone notice that Saria came from nowhere? And IS Ganondorf a bed-wetter? FIND OUT NEXT TIME…ON…THE ZELDA CHARACTERS GO CAMPING!
-GoroGoroGuy-