Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything belongs to Joss Whedon, etc.
Life Happens (or He Gave Me Eternity)
By
Anessa Ramsey
I have to tell you honestly, I never thought this is where my life would end up. I
was supposed to go to an Ivy League college and become something important. I had the
grades and all the extracurricular activities. I probably would have done it too, except I
met Buffy Summers and well, what can I say…life happened.
I wouldn't trade any of my experiences for all the money in the world. I've had a
hell of a time. Being the plain mousy girl that I was before Buffy showed up wasn't
making me happy. Sure Xander and Jesse were great friends…the best of…but I needed
a girl to talk to and Buffy seemed to just drop right from the sky and proclaim herself my
friend.
If I'd had any idea that she was a vampire slayer I probably would have called her
crazy and run screaming in the opposite direction. But I didn't know at first and by the
time I did it was too late. I was hooked. I would never admit it, but all the excitement
and danger was like an adrenaline rush for me, especially when Angelus was around.
Could he have been any sexier? It must have been all the leather and silk and danger he
exuded because Angel never affected me like that. At least not back then.
It has been four years since I started helping Buffy and I am now nineteen years
old. It's ironic. Some women spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery trying to
look nineteen when they are really thirty-five. All I had to do was get shot by an arrow
and turned into a vampire.
You heard me correctly, I am a vampire and I have my soul. I felt horrible that
Spike was forced into the position that he was. I know that he didn't want to turn me.
Sure, I knew that he would one day but neither of us planned on it happening so soon.
He loved me the way that I was, human and soul filled. But I knew I was dying so I
asked him to do it. I didn't want to leave him when I'd just found him. That night I
became a vampire just like him. But he wouldn't let me become a monster. He took me
to Morrigan and had my soul restored. I never expected him to get his restored as well.
It's been three weeks since that night. Spike and I are currently living in LA. I
felt bad about leaving Buffy behind, especially since Xander disappeared. I miss her like
crazy. But another aspect of my relationship with Spike changed that night and it all
centered around one person. Angel.
Angel is the only person in the world who loves Spike as much as I do. They
have a history together that surpasses anything I could ever imagine and a love that I only
dreamed of experiencing. They had been apart for so long, nearly ninety years, that I
thought nothing would bring them back together, despite the feelings they had. In the
end it took my death and resurrection for them to be able to put the past behind them and
look toward the future. I'm glad they did because we need Angel, even if Spike refuses
to admit it.
Since having his soul anchored the Angel I knew as Buffy's boyfriend has
changed. He is lighthearted and carefree. His guilt is still there but he allows happiness
into his life. He is playful and sensual and a hint of that danger that surrounded Angelus
now clings to him as well. He's also taken to wearing leather and silk again. Spike says
that he is more like the Angelus of old rather than the version we met in Sunnydale.
Angel is not the only one who has changed. Spike is different as well. He is
more like William than I thought he would be. Don't get me wrong Spike is still in there,
playful and energetic in bed, sweet and soft on the eyes. He still has the brash and bold
bravado that he uses to hide how he really feels. But having his soul returned to him has
made him a little more reserved and unsure sometimes. I only see glimpses of it, but I
have seen enough to know that William was a lot like I was in high school before Buffy
came into my life and it makes me love him all the more because I know how he feels.
I watch Angel sometimes and I see the way he looks at Spike. I thought I would
be jealous that someone else loved my lover that much, but then I realized that I look at
Spike the same way. Most people would think it's odd or kinky that we share a bed but
we are in love. Yep, I'm in love with both of them. How could I not be? Spike is my
first true love. From the second he touched me, really touched me, I knew that I was his.
Falling in love with Angel was completely unexpected. I knew that I'd be sharing
Spike with him and I knew that would mean sharing a bed as well. I just never expected
to want him nearly as much as I wanted Spike. The first time I saw them together I
couldn't tear my eyes away. I expected it to be rough and a little more savage, but it was
beautiful and tender and erotic. I could see the way that they loved each other in every
touch and look. When they finally recovered they both turned to the doorway and I was
caught. I intended to mutter some apology and bolt out of there but Spike just caught my
eyes with his and extended his hand. I've been with both of them ever since.
I know that things will change. The years will go by. Friends will get older and
move on or pass away, yet we will stay the same. We will live to see a new generation of
children take up the fight. Some will live and others will die. It's the way the story goes.
And as painful as it is all we can do is cling to each other and the love that we have and
hope that we survive. Even though we are vampires and eternity is ours, we cannot
control the future, because life just happens