"The Life Giving Magus. You remember him, right? Well, we got pretty tight after the whole thing with Giuseppe and the apples. After you gave him the dog-hat, he got really huggy and stuff. I thought I'd give it another shot, what with my new fan fiction and all. But the bozo said that the same thing would just happen all over again."

"So I thought I'd look for another way. I remembered Lumpy Space Princess once kidnapped me because she wanted my stories to come to life as much as I did. And for a moment, it actually worked too! You shoulda seen the look on her face when it just turned out to be a raccoon! Ha ha!"

"Anyway, so since my library card was canceled when I tried to kidnap Turtle Princess, she went to the library and bought out a bunch of books; y'know, since she's got connections. We must've looked for like, ages. And nothing really came up so I went to Wizard City to look for some books. But I couldn't get into the restricted section! Can you believe it? Story of my life! And after all I'd done for that place too!"

"So, we were just about to give when, praise Glob, I remembered my shelf of old stuff. Since Marceline plucked out some gnarly stuff, I figured maybe we oughta take a crack at 'em. So we did and, well, we found this stuff that connected to all the other stuff we'd found in other books and wham! We got a plausible spell in the works! We get all the stuff and steal just a bit of the Magus' flame to complete the ritual. Simple stuff, y'know. Then we say the magic words and them pages begin dropping out of the sky like crazy. Too bad I didn't know where Fiona fell. I got stuck with Miss Crazy while LSP just ran off with her prince charming. I'd been stuck here with her here the whole day! And then you guys came. There you have it."

Ice King lets out a long sigh after his lengthy monologue. Finn can't help but look at the statue of Fiona silently. Jake begins with questions.

"What's with the statues?"

"Oh, they acted as totems in the ritual." Ice King points at the spot in between the ice sculptures, "That crack there? The magic blew right outta there, through the roof and into the sky. I'm telling ya it was like a fireworks show. 'Course I fixed the stupid ceiling, but you get the point."

"And the flowers?"

"Decoration! Y'know, something nice to welcome them to Ooo. I spent three days gathering them all. All my other fan fiction is buried under there. You like?"

"Did you think this through properly, Ice King?" Jake inquires, "What if, like, the universe decides to cave in because there's one too many of the same people in the same dimension?"

"Well, it'll be a pretty sweet ride until then!" Ice King cackles before tearing and sobering up a little, "But yeah. Me and LSP had to collect hairs and clothes from you guys so that the ritual would work. It makes you guys kinda the same person. Why? Has anyone else realized you guys are actually gender-swapped counterparts?"

"Mm. PB might not have, yet. But you can't fool the universe," Jake's mind wanders to Prismo, "Man, I'm really wishing you didn't do this, stalking us and collecting hairs and all... How many people did you summon exactly anyway?"

"Um, all of them really," Ice King shrugs, "That's like, what, ten people or something?"

"Oh glob..." Jake smacks his forehead, "Finn, we – Finn?"

Finn is transfixed on the closed eyes smile on Fiona's face as she holds her hand out as if holding a gem. He turns to Jake wordlessly. His eyes are large and unresponsive.

"Man, you want some chocolate or something?"

"No..." Finn's voice is almost a whisper, "No, I'm … going out for fresh air."

""Well, hey, wait. I haven't even told you how we bring Fiona back yet-"

Before Ice King finishes talking, Finn is already walking up the stairs. His steps are shaky, but neither Jake or the monarch go to help him. After he's up the stairs, Jake takes a deep breath.

"It's better he knows..."

"Why? What's up with him?"

"Finn's got... well, issues with girls. First it was PB, maybe Marceline for a little, then Fire Princess..." The dog shakes his head, "He's beginning to think he's cursed. No girl he likes is ever who she seems. I mean, I don't know what PB and Marcy are, FP just dumped him for Cinnamon Bun, and you just told him Fiona was a reflection of him."

"But he wanted to know!"

"I know, and I think it was the right thing to do too. But," Jake looks down at the floor, "Even I thought that this time maybe he'd found the perfect girl."

"... Jake, how do you feel about Cake?"

"What, no!" Jake throws up his arms at the Ice King's comment, "I've got a lady! And that's Lady!"

"Ok, ok," The Ice King sighs, "Fiona was supposed to fall in love with me, you know. I've … never gotten a girl to really like me."

"Yeah, we all remember about that Princess Monster Wife. Geez, dude, haven't you learned a lesson at all about making something love you?!"

"Oh, sure, blame the lonely guy!"

Meanwhile, Finn walks out to the snow. Gunther pays him no mind as he passes, preferring to stroke his kitten baby affectionately. Cake is still a catatonic furball. Outside the storm is gone completely, replaced by a clear sky. Finn shivers only slightly when he reaches the spot where he saw her evaporate into pages of sick writing.

Jake might've known... But how could he himself have been so blind?! Of course, he liked her so he chose to ignore it. She was someone he liked because she was so much like him. Wouldn't it be better to dismiss her as an illusion and move on?

"Why can't I just like a girl...?"

"Hey man," Jake emerges behind him, "Ice King told me how we can 'rewrite' Fiona back. You up for a little adventure?"

Finn doesn't answer. Jake sits down in the snow and throws a snowball. It quickly melts into the white scenery.

"Maybe you aren't so alike," Jake says aloud, "I mean, look at me and Cake. Ice King made her from me, but do we look anything alike?"

"No... But dude, there's something messed up here. It's like... crushing on myself..."

"She's not you!" Jake kinda yells that part, "If I had you take off your shirt for a bath, you'd do it in a heartbeat! You think a girl would do that?!"

"DUDE!" Finn blushes at the mere thought, "D-Don't say things like that..."

"Alright! It's decided! We are going to get her back and then you'll see exactly how different you are! I mean who knows. Ice King wrote her to love himself, but maybe she can disobey her programming or something."

"Yeah," Finn can't keep hope out of his voice, "Let's go."

…

"Bonnibel!" Marceline bursts in, ax-ready, to the royal chambers. Ice covers a good portion of the kingdom right now. The Princess and Gumball are nowhere to be seen.

"Tch..."

"Um... Little help please?" Marceline sees Crunchy partially frozen to the wall with Pep But. The Vampire Queen shatters the encasing. Pep But quickly scrambles to his feet.

"We must hurry! The crazy woman chased the Princess out to the hedge maze!"

Marceline, heart pounding, flies past the little butler and out the balcony. She hovers slightly above the maze where ice beams are being thrown about randomly. Narrowly dodging an icicle, she flies downwards to where the Queen has the two royals cornered. Princess Bubblegum's eyes widen at her appearance. Unhesitating, she makes a cleave at the queen's back.

"Argh!" Having seen the Princess' reaction, the Ice Queen dodges just in the nick of time. Slivers of her white hair fly from the close shave, "And just who might you be?!"

"Bonnie, run!" Marceline dodges sparks from the Queen's fingers and swings madly again. She sees the familiar Prince Gumball pull Bonnibel away.

"Urgh..." The Queen curses under her breath, "You stupid girl! I'll freeze you solid!"

Marceline, drawing on her power of shape-shifting, transforms into a massive bat and swats away an ice bolt. The Queen seems taken aback by her powers.

"So... You're a vampire like Marshall, eh? No matter, nothing will stand in the way of me and my Gumball!" She whizzes around the giant bat shooting bolts, much like a bee encircling a bear.

"Don't be dense! He's not into you!" Marceline swats about clumsily, "Urgh, did he have to make you so much like him?!

The Queen either didn't hear or didn't care about what she said. She zaps one of Marceline's eyes, making her yowl and flail. Her arm catches the Queen's crown, knocking it into some bushes. The Queen immediately gives a bloodcurdling scream as she plummets without her ability of flight. Marceline grabs her, effectively pinning her arms to her sides.

"Ngh, Ugh!" The Queen squirms in the bat's hand, "Let me out of here!"

"Bonnie? I got her."

"Oh, good!" PB emerges from her chambers onto the balcony about Marceline's current height, "Thanks for, um, saving us and everything."

"Without her crown she's useless," Gumball peeks out from the balcony threshold, "Let's just keep that under lock and key."

"Bonnie, I need to talk with you."

"Uh-huh, alright. Just change back first, I'm in the middle of some twin issues."

"Actually," Marceline changes back, but maintains her large grip on the wriggling Queen, "It's about that. I know what's happening."