Quare went back home a while later, feeling a tad depressed. Yeah, it's been a couple weeks, but what seems like a small mishap to others could mean so much more to another.

A few more weeks passed. Nothing happened. The blonde was still cheery, bright, and outgoing to everyone when he was at school, but when he was back home, he was another person. It was as if anther entity had taken over his body the second he stepped through those large wooden doors to the mansion.

The mansion was so large, and so quiet. It provided lots of time to think. Perhaps a little too much time to think. There were no distractions. Mr. Winner wouldn't allow it.

Who would have known. All City results came in. He made second chair. Relena made first. Typical. That's what happened at Jr. Regionals also.

He scanned down the list of names. Trowa made eighth chair, Lady Une made sixth, and Sylvia Noventa made seventeenth. He was still in the top, better than his school, perhaps.

He sighed as he flicked on his laptop, getting ready to start his To Kill a Mockingbirdproject that had been assigned. He was a procrastinator, but he vowed to break himself of that habit.

He began by alphabetizing the words, and then he looked up the definitions. It was probably around seven when he pulled out his geometry book.

It was as if time swooped by. Mr. Driab announced that All City was to be on April 26. The exact day of the science field trip to the caverns. And it would also be Pompeii Day for the Latin students. And State Bowl. And the seventh grader's trip to Busch Gardens. Perfect.

Quatre couldn't believe it. He had looked forward to the science field trip for a number of reasons.

He was an eighth grader at a gifted school. After eighth grade, everyone would be separated. Different High Schools, different academies. It was as if they were being torn apart by the school superintendent himself. This long field trip to the edge of Virginia would be the last they would ever have as students of Kemps Landing Magnet.

/It's like as if fate had planned this all along. It's as if the whole world is against me. I know the saying, that you're really against the world, but it's like even my best friend is against me.

I really thought that Duo would understand. He didn't. I tried to ask him for advice, and he had none to give.

Trowa and I used to always talk online, laugh together, play when we were younger even, swim, anything. Every time he was about to get off the internet, he'd always say, "g2g, bye."

It all stopped. The laughs, the cya laters, the time. Every time I want to talk to him, it had to be about schoolwork. Everything had to be about homework. Every time I instant message him, he gets in trouble. I guess his mom doesn't like me talking to him anymore.

He's so uptight now. I haven't seen him laugh as often, not even a small smile. I guess he lives with a lot of pressure on his back. I feel so sorry for him sometimes. When I try to talk to him, it's like I'm talking to a brick wall. He has that barrier up again./

Spring Break came and went. All Quatre did was that English project. In the end, his project came out to be 47 pages. Heero thought he was crazy. Quatre didn't care.

Ms. Young, the Science teacher, called him into her room one day after class.

"You are not allowed to go on this field trip to Natural Bridge. You are going to All City."

Quatre merely stared back, shocked, and nodded his head.

***

"It's all Ms. Young's fault in the first place, Quatre. She had no right to do that."

All City had been on the school calendar since last year. Ms. Young was obviously not paying any attention to it when she scheduled it. Did she know how many people she was disappointing?

"Well, I guess it's not her fault that much," the blonde started to tell Catherine, "I guess she really did try hard to pull it off..."

"Quatre, stop blaming yourself! You're just as bad as Trowa! Maybe even worse!"

"I'm sorry..."

The blonde looked at her, and ran.

***

/I wish I could leave from this cruel world. There are so many decisions! High School, All City.. If I went to All City, I'm just a number. People won't remember me for who I am. Relena's first chair, and she's concertmaster..she gets all the credit. That's okay.

But what's really eating me inside is that at Bay Youth, there's this girl named Poorna who keeps asking me if I'm going on the field trip or not. She wants me to go, so she can have a better chair. It'd look better. There's no honor in that, substituting, you know? You're cheating the world and yourself.

Sometimes I wonder why I keeps playing that little block of wood. It's causing so many problems! I hate it! There's so much competition between everyone in orchestra...I guess it comes from being in a gifted school, but still!

Sometimes I wish I were someone else. I have a tyrant for a father, my mother is dead, and all twenty-nine of my sisters are too busy with their own lives. Father doesn't love me...I was just created. Created to be the heir to the Winner fortune, only so that my sisters could still have the 3000 billion credits. I know it's selfish, but I guess I'm a selfish person...people don't see who I am. They see a Quatre who's like everyone else, happy, joyful, someone with a loving family.

Everyday I walk into an empty house. It's so big, but so lonely. People never saw who I was inside. I was lost, completely, and I still am. There is no light. I feel like I'm a demon locked up in an angel. I'm the dark side. No one knows that the innocent Quatre Raberba Winner has a dark side. I only hope that they'll never find out. Or it'd be too late.

I am a demon, locked up in an angel's body./