A/N: Thanks to Lily of the Valley, Belladonna Bloom, and Padfoot, Moony, Prongs 4EVER. Reviews make the world go round.

Harry Potter does New York
Chapter Four
(Working Subtitle: Mean, Magic, and Jelly Beans)
by Deviant1

Clem's plan was actually working pretty well, as all self incerted characters' plans tend to. With help from the invisibility cloak, the marauders map, flattery, and carefull planing, they managed to swipe the time turner from Mc Gonagal and get 20 kilos of sugar from those cuddly little elves.
They decided to sneak out of Hogwarts throught the tunnel and then portkey back, because Clem needed to call the dealer, and her cell phone wouldn't work in Hogwarts. They managed to make it all the way to the statue of the one-eyed witch, when they heard a greesy voice behind them.
And where do you think you are going? called Professor Snape.
Clem studdered.
They were busted for sure now. Harry knew what he had to do. We were just out for a walk. I'm glad I ran into you, He purred, reaching out and stroking the professors greasy, sallow cheek.
Snape blushed for a moment, and then snapped back to his normal self. I believe you have a class you should be in now, Mr. Potter. Do you realize that you could be severly punished for cutting?
Ooh, punish me, Harry cooed. Please. We'll be alone in the dungeons. Just you and me. You can make me do whatever you want. This time Snape turned very red in the face. Harry leaned in and whispered some things in Snape's ear. Having apeared in many, many fan fics, our little Harry was an expert on seducing teachers. So detention tonight? Don't be late. With that they turned and made their way down the hall. Snape, dumbfounded, just stood there watching, so Harry made sure to swing his hips a little extra when he walked.
Once inside the tunnel, Harry snapped out of his act. He shrieked. I hate doing that!
You're a good man, Harry, said Ron, patting Harry on the shoulder.

They all crammed their heads inside the time-turner's rather short chain, and they zoomed back in time, to the begining of the day. They couldn't tell from the dark tunnel, or course, because it pretty much looked exactly the same all year round.
I'll call and find out where to meet the dealer, said Clem, taking out her cell phone. She dialed a long number, which must have had at least 20 digets, and put the phone to her ear. Hello... it's me, Clem... Listen, there's been a change of plans. We're going to bring the goods down personally... of course. It's not like I'm a total mafia novice. So where do we meet?... Oh, that is so cool!.. Ciao! Clem hung up the phone, grinning like an idiot. You'll never believe where we're going... Disney World!
That is like, so cool! Dean proclaimed happily.
The Dursleys took Dudley there when I was five, Harry reflected. I had to stay with Mrs. Figg. I always wanted to go.
So we're all for it? Clem asked, eyeing Hermione. Hermione did not reject the idea, so they portkeyed away.

They stood infront of the gates to Disney Land, slathering sunscreen on themselves. Okay, I've got to meet the dealer in an hour, and all that you guys have to do is stay out of trouble! That means no pop stars, no starring in musicals, no talking cats, no starting brawls, no stalking baseball players, and no magic beans. Are we clear?
Are we gonna stand around talking all day or are we gonna hit the park? Parvati demanded.
said Dean, cheering a bit. We're young, and free, and rich, and popular, and high on sugar. Let's go!
So they wandered around the park a bit. Clem insisted on getting everyone those little Mickey Mouse eared hats with their names embroidered on the back, which they all threw in the water at Splash Mountain as soon as Clem's back was turned. They went to the nearest gift shop to buy more Disney junk.
Honestly Dean. You've never seen Pocahontas, and you don't play golf. What do you need Pocahontas golf clubs for?
Well what if I see it, and I really like it, and then I start playing golf. Then what? Huh? Dean argued. C'mon, it's just one suvenier.
Just one suvenier?! I already bought you a Beaty and the Beast night light, a Fantasia fish tank, you have no fish, mind you, and I bought you soap on a rope.
What's wrong with soap on a rope?
What's wrong with soap on a rope!?!? Everything! There is everything wrong with soap on a rope! Who the hell thought it up anyway? You think they were just sitting there with a piece of soap in one hadn and a piece of rope in the other saying, soap... rope... soap... rope... they rhyme? Why not put them together. I've got it! SOAP ON A ROPE!' Why do you need to have soap and a rope together anyway? So you can hang yourself in the shower!? Clem waved around the sope on a rope angrily while everyone in the store staired at her. Harry, Ron and Hermione ducked behind a display of Lady and the Tramp bathtowels.
I happen to like soap on a rope, roared Dean. And you know why they put soap on a rope? It's convenient; okay!? The soap is always right there! You don't have to look around for it!
What kind of idiot can't find soap in the shower? It's not that hard to find a piece of soap!
People do get shampoo in their eyes, Clementine!
Well rinse it out, dumbass! If you've got shampoo in your eyes you're not going to want soap! Oh! My eyes! I can't see and it stings teribly. Oh well. I'll just get back to washing myself and maybe it will go away.' That's smart, Dean.
Shut up!
Make me!
You wanna piece of me, Nancy?
Come over here and say that!
Oh yeah?



Will you two cut it out! interupted Hermione, stepping between them. Clem, you can't wig out like this every time someone wants to buy a suvenier.
called Lavender, from across the store. They have Winney the Pooh jelly beans! Can I get some?
jelly beans!?
Hey! When do you have to meet that drug dealer? Harry asked, trying to distract Clem from another potential fight.
Um... in about ten minutes.

The Tiki Tiki Room.
Ooh, that's far from here, said Ron. You better get a move on. You don't wanna be late.



Way to get rid of Clem! Dean cheered, as soon as she was out of earshot. Can you believe she wouldn't let me get those golf clubs?
So what should we do now? asked Lavender.
I wanna go on some rides, said Seamus.
Ron shouted. Space Mountain, here we come!
shrieked Seamus. NO! It's way too scary. I was thinking more like the tea cups and the merry-go-round.
We are not going on the tea cups, said Parvati firmly. C'mon. Those rides are for babies.
Harry, you'll go on the tea cups with me, won't you, Harry?
Oh, alright.

Harry and Seamus had been twirling around on the tea cups for nearly and hour. Harry was fealing ill. The ride finally slowed to a stop and Harry thanked God.
squealed Seamus. Lets ride the tea cups again!
said Harry, clutching his stomache, We've been on the tea cups 20 bleedin times already. I will not ride the tea cups anymore. But at that moment the tea cups there were currently in lurched into motion again. Harry felt the four bags of Winney the Pooh jelly beans he had consumed rising up out of his stomache. I gotta go, he croaked. With that, he lept out of the moving tea cup, crawled under a bush, and vomited.
a shrill voice said. What the bloody ell are you doing under that bush? The person gave him a kick in the shins and dragged him from the pool of vommit. Poor little thing. Tell me all about it, They demanded, trying to sound gentle. Harry groaned, looking up at the repulsivley familiar face.

A/N: Who ever guesses who it is gets a cookie. Review!