A/N: Thanks to reviewers Vanilla Coke (you bite! DreamStreet rulz!), Belladonna Bloom, and Richal (you're dead wrong)


Harry Potter does New York
Chapter Five
(Working Subtitle: Possessed Parade)

Harry groaned, looking at the repulsively familiar face. Harry, darling, the woman cried, brushing him off. I had no idea you'd be in Disney world. Why, aren't you supposed to be in school?
shouted Parvati, running over. I see you've met our new friend, Rita Skeeter. We were just talking about you.
Harry paled.
said Rita Skeeter. I've recently gotten a job near here, working for The Weekly World News. I know they would love an article on Americas favorite little wizard.
Do come have lunch with us, said Parvati. Dean and I have been catching Ms. Skeeter up on everything that's been happening since she left England.
Like what? Harry asked warily.
Why don't you sit down with us so we can have a chat? suggested Rita. Harry reluctantly agreed to join them. So what have you been up to? Rita asked, leaning over so her face was right up close to Harry's.
Nothing really, Harry answered, shrugging.
Nothing! He's so modest! declared Dean. Harry defeated you-know-who last fall. But I suppose you hear that already. Voldemort had been defeated', but Harry had little to do with it. The Dark Lord had fallen out of a tree outside Harry's bedroom window, and sprained his ankle. Later, Dudley ran him over with his scooter. Harry found the corpse and notified the ministry. It had been hushed up; Harry didn't want the publicity. Only his very closest friends knew, and a girl named angel_pricezz_61187, whom he met in a chat room, knew what really happened. The rest of the world was left to wonder.
exclaimed Rita. I had no idea! Harry, darling, you must tell me all about it.
My cousin ran over him on his razor scooter, Harry mumbled, blushing.
How fascinating! proclaimed Rita, scribbling notes on her napkin. Tell me more.
It's really classified information, said Harry. I'm not supposed to tell anybody. This wasn't exactly true, but Harry really did not want to talk about it.
But, Darling, said Rita, pouting. I thought we were friends. I thought we could tell each other anything.
You'll have to excuse Harry, Parvati cut in. He's just a bi shy, that's all. The battle was really quite hunky-dory. Harry doesn't especially like to talk about it. But it was really sensational.
Oh yes, Dean picked up. Just when you-know-who had his wand to Harry's through, Harry grabbed a...
A tooth brush! Parvati finished enthusiastically. He took the tooth brush and he gouged you-know-who in the eye with it. And then he passed out cold.
Who passed out? Harry, or the Dark Lord? Rita asked, looking up from her notes.
said Dean. They were both unconscious, but you-know-who came around first. And he was about to finish Harry off when...
Harry's cousin, a muggle, rode in heroically on his scooter. The Dark Lord turned his wand on Harry's cousin. I think the boy's name is...
...Calhoun! His name is Calhoun, god rest his soul. He was murdered by you-know-who.
But not before he saved Harry's life! He tackled you-know-who to the ground. Put up a good fight. He held out just long enough for...
For Harry to kill you-know-who. They were both very happy, until they realized that Calhoun had been struck with a poison arrow.
Purple Yin. That was the poison. There's to anecdote.
Antidote, you idiot. And there was one. Harry rushed off to brew the potion that would save Calhoun.
But alas, he was too late. Calhoun's last words were, Etnegludni eragororp asrob soinegni.' it means...
My spirit will be with you always.' It's so touching.
I cried when Harry told me.
You can see why he's so sensitive about discussing it.
But we're not.
I have to go! Harry said, standing up so suddenly that his chair fell over. He didn't care. He wanted to get out. Harry exited the restaurant with as much grace as he could with everyone staring at him.
He got on one of those train things that are all over Florida, and sat down next to the most unusually dressed girl. She was wearing a perry winkle blue ball gown, a tiara, white evening gloves, and glass slippers.

Harry gasped. What are you doing? Why are you dressed like that?
It's really quite a cool story. I was in the gift shop buying the most adorable Alice in Wonderland tea set- isn't that a clever idea, and Alice in Wonderland tea set?- when the guy at the counter tells me my credit card is maxed out. OMG, I was so embarrassed! And the guy behind me tells me that if I need some money they need a Cinderella for a parade, because the girl who was supposed to be Cinderella got sick, and he said I was just the right size for the costume. So I'm all, ya, okay,' so now I'm on my way to the parade. I get to be on a float!
You get to be on a float!? That's the best thing that's happened to any of us since we started this fic.
Yeah. Apparently a whole bunch of parade people got sick, so there just searching for people who can dress up as Disney characters on short notice.
Do you think... maybe I would be able to be in the parade? Harry asked sheepishly.
Maybe. Why don't you come with me and see?
Harry smiled. Dudley had a giant collection of Disney movies when he was little. Dudley didn't like them much because they weren't violent enough, but Harry had always been a fan. The happy endings made him feel good.
They found their way to DPHQ (Disney Parade Head Quarters). Lavender lead Harry over to a fat, ugly man with a pony tail, a pointy beard, and a clip board. His name tag read .
Hey, I'm Lavender Brown. I'm here to be Cinderella.
Ah yea, Lavender Broon. He murmured, scanning his list for her name.
she corrected.
Whatever. You're on float jk8v; it looks like a pumpkin patch.
Lavender started to her float, but Harry grabbed her arm and cleared his through for attention. When she looked at him inquisitively, Harry coughed a bit more, hoping to jog her memory. said Lavender, catching on. She turned to Perth. My friend Harry has a bit of a cough. Would you happen to have a cough drop or something for him, would you?
Perth dug into his pocket. I've got a lifesaver, he said, brandishing an orange ring covered with lint.
Harry cried, I want to be on a float; do you have any spots open?
Perth hummed, studying the clip board again. Yeah, on the Little Mermaid float we need a dark haired male of about 5' 2. How tall are you?
I'm 5' 2 Harry lied.
Okay. Float fn8d.
Harry clasped his hands together and squealed with joy. The prince from The Little Mermaid was one of his favorite characters, and now he was going to be him in a Disney Parade.

This isn't what I had in mind! yelled Harry, from inside his big, yellow fish costume.
Oh, shut up, said Ursula, whacking Harry with one of her tentacles.
Nobody likes a complainer, added King Triton.
Harry, what are you doing in that fish costume? asked Ariel.
I'm Flounder, your lovable fish friend, moron, Harry replied bitterly.
But why are you in Disney World in the first place? she asked, sounding genuinely curious.
None of your business, Harry returned.
Are Ron and Hermione here too?
How do you know Ron and Hermione!?
Well Ron is my brother.
Harry gasped. What are you doing in a parade in Disney World?
I could ask you the same thing.
Fair enough.
The float lurched forward. Harry did his best to flop about merrily and look cute. Twice, he almost fell off, but the guy in the seagull suit saved him.
Someone yelled from the crowds. They repeated. Harry saw Hermione making her way to the front of the crowd. Knocking a police officer out of the way, Hermione hurtled onto the float. she gasped, ignoring that fact that everyone was staring at her and several small children had begun to cry. Ron is missing. I came back from the bathroom (the bathrooms here are very nice, by the way. Very clean) and Ron was gone! You've got to help me find him!
Harry hissed, we're in the middle of a parade!
Oh my god! exclaimed Hermione, looking around, just realizing exactly what was going on. We are on a parade float! She paused for a moment, deep in thought. Harry, have you ever seen Ferris Buellers Day Off? She had a mischievous smile on her face, and an insane glint in her eye.
Harry groaned, dreading the inevitable. Corny music began blaring from nowhere. Hermione pulled a microphone out of thin air and started singing, off key as usual.
Danke Shoen, darling Danke Shoen
Thank you for all the joy and pain
Picture show, second balcony,
Was the place we meet
Second seat
Go dutch treat
You were sweet

Danke Shoen, darling, danke shoen
Save those lies. Darling don't explain
I recall central park in fall
How you tore your dress
What a mess
I confess
That's not all

Danke shoen, darling danke shoen
Thank you for, waltz down lovers lane
I can see hearts carved on a tree
letters intertwine
for all time
yours and mine
that was fine

Danke shoen, darling, danke shoen
Thank you for seeing me again
Though we go on our sep'rate ways
Still the mem'ry stay
For always
My heart says: danke shoen

Danke Shoen
I'll be the same
Danke Shoen

 Hermione took a bow and the crowd applauded bizarrely. Harry noted that Clem, and the author of the fic, must be a prodigious geek to know all the words to Danke Shoen. Somewhere in the far corners of Disney World, Clem burst into tears.
Why did I do that? questioned Hermione. That was so out of character.
Don't start being reasonable yet, Ginny said. It sounds like they want and encore.
But... but... Hermione stuttered, suddenly very disconcerted, I don't know any songs, and I don't know how to make music play out of no where, and the microphone has disappeared again!
Hermione, I think you must simply be going insane, Harry concluded.
Yes, that must be it, agreed Ginny.
Well what do I do now? Hermione asked dizzily.
Not knowing what to do is very out of character, Ginny pointed out, so I guess that means your slipping back into dementia.
Oh good, said Hermione, alleviated. So what should I sing now?
Whatever you sing, sing it fast, cause here comes the cops! Harry cried.
What a clever little pun commented Ginny, as she leaped from the float.
That's not a pun, said Hermione. It's not clever either.


Harry, Hermione, and Ginny ran into the crowd, which was a difficult task because Harry and Ginny still had fish tails. I knew this was a bad idea! yelled Harry, as they rushed blindly into through the park.



Where is Ron? More cookies for whoever can guess. Review!