Harry Potter does New York
Ending Four
(Working Subtitle: Playing with Clichés)
by Deviant1

But I love you, Hermione! Shouted Ron, Lavender, Draco, Snape, Serius, and Vikton Krum, who had all suddenly popped up out of nowhere.
Hermione blinked. But the prophecy says that I will spend eternity with Harry, She replied.
No, It says I will spend eternity with Harry, said a cheeky American Exchange student who had just arrived. Her name was Mary Sue
Spend eternity with me, said Draco, forgetting about Hermione. I may act like a jerk, but that's just because my dad never liked me. Having an unhappy childhood can really screw you up.
I'm poor, Ron put in. Aren't I so cute and vulnerable?
But I look yummy in leather! Sirium said. And I have a flying motor cycle.
Oh, who should I pick? Mary Sue wondered aloud. Do you all know that I'm directly related to Voldemort? I'm his niece. I visit him every Christmas and I call him Uncle Voldy.
We don't care! They chorussed.
I just feel so guilty about what happened to Cedric! Harry wailed. It's all my fault!
No it's not, said Mary Sue comfortingly.
I feel so much better now. Thanks! said Harry, suddenly cheerful.
Guess what? said Hermione, trying to recapture everyone's attention. There's going to be another Yule Ball this year!
Shuddup, Mud Blood, said Draco.
screamed Harry, My scar hurts!
Fred and George popped up out of nowhere. Hello, all! said George. We've been added to the story for comic relief.
So this guy goes to the doctor, Fred said. And he says, Doctor, I've got a problem. There's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my butt.' And the doctor looks at it and says, That's just the tip of the ice burg.' By the way, we love Hermione and Mary Sue too!
said Voldemort. I've come to kill you.
Not if I kill you first! said Mary Sue. She pulled out a feather and tickled him to death.
You killed Voldemort! They shouted. We love you! Even Hermione couldn't help but love Mary Sue; she was just so smart, and funny, and pretty, and nice...
I'm back! said somebody. It was Lupin. He had come back to teach at Hogwarts!
Wow, you're back! said everybody, forgetting any thoughts that had formerly occupied their minds.
said Ron. Where's Ginny?
Here I is! said Ginny, popping up out of nowhere like everyone else.
Ginny, I know I've ignored you for the past four years, said Harry, but I suddenly realized that I love you. You wanna go make out?
yelled Ron, very red in the face. That's my sister!
Dude, I'm like your best friend, you can totally trust me with your sister.
Oh yeah, said Ron. I guess I can. Okay, you kids remember to use protection.
Oh crap, I knew I forgot something, said Hermione. I'm pregnant.
But who's the father? everyone asked.
Hermione burst into tears. I don't know!
Then another kid showed up. He looked exactly like Harry. said Sirius. You look just like Harry! You must be related.
said Clem. You're going to ruin my surprise ending!

Harry went to spend some time in the hospital wing, because that's how all good HP stories end, and everyone lived happily ever after.

THE END

A/N: I think that's going to be it. Four endings is enough, right? Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I hoped you liked it. If Dream Street doesn't piss you off too much, you should read the DS fic I'm working on. Whatever. I love you all more than words can express.

Disclaimer: You know what? I don't care what anyone else says, I do own Harry Potter. You wanna fight me? I'm right here. Bring it one, Nancy.