Chapter 2 – Companions & Confessions
Trains. Katherine hated trains - cramped cars and terrible food, and to make matters worse, her train was running exceptionally late. Aunt Mary could sense the anxiety in her niece,
"Worry not, dear. You will arrive in Belfast safely. The ship isn't leaving for Southampton for another week"
Her aunt's words did nothing to quell Katherine's anxiety. James had written and said there was a change in plans, and he would meet Katherine in Belfast, not Liverpool. Which meant that she had to travel the entire trip alone - she didn't even want to calculate how long it would take. Each minute wore away at her nerves; her eyes flickered between the station clock and the rail line in the distance.
Finally, at 6:22 pm, she heard the screech of the train brakes and the whistle announcing its arrival. Katherine held her large handbag tighter and looked for the luggage cart with her trunk, but it was nowhere in sight. She breathed a long sigh, resigning herself to the fact that she had to trust that her possessions would arrive in Holyhead with her.
She turned to face her aunt, "Well, I guess this is it. I will write to you once I have safely settled in Belfast." She reached forward and kissed her aunt on the cheek.
"Goodbye, my dear. At least try to have a good time. Who knows, you might even like him," Aunt Mary smiled. Katherine gave a hesitant smile and nodded before turning to face the train. As soon as it arrived, there was a whirl of chaos; doors opening, people briskly walking in all directions, and luggage carts parting the small sea of people waiting to board.
With her handbag in one hand and ticket in the other, Katherine approached the train car, found her seat, and swiftly sat down, thankful that she had gotten a seat near the window. As the train pulled away from the station, Katherine was glad to be on her way.
Katherine had little experience with travel, having only traveled through Yorkshire by carriage and to London by train only twice in her life. She did not get motion sick or even homesick; the feeling of complete unknown and unfamiliarity dissuaded her from frequent travel. She had plenty of opportunities to travel with her uncle to London and elsewhere, but she always declined.
As she stared out the window at the passing pastures and towns, Katherine's mind drifted to the events of the previous week - trying to plan a wedding. The thought alone was ridiculous; she didn't even know the groom! Aunt Mary seemed to have already been in contact with either Officer Murdoch himself or his family as she was able to set a date. Invitations were ordered, measurements for a dress were taken, and the food menu was decided. It quickly became apparent that no aspect of this wedding was in Katherine's control - not even the groom!
The absurdity of the whole situation was so great that she didn't know whether to cry out in anger or laugh hysterically. She even recalled her aunt reading a letter out loud confirming that Officer Murdoch would indeed have extended leave from his duties for a honeymoon.
'The gall of that woman!' Katherine mentally shrieked. 'As if that is so important…' Her thoughts trailed off as she remembered the honeymoon and all the events that accompanied it. Katherine was not naive and had grown up with several male cousins. She had found their erotica books and pornographic photographs a few times, many years ago. Discussions of sex and the like were strictly not discussed in school or in polite company, and guardians had a terrible habit of not explaining anything to brides before the marriage night. If it weren't for her cousins' illicit contraband, she might still be completely ignorant of it all.
'Would he be handsome? Would he be… experienced?' Questions like these reeled through her mind. She could feel her face flush. Hoping to pull her thoughts away from this topic, Katherine pulled a book out of her handbag and passed the next several hours lost in its pages.
Katherine had been on the train for over 4 hours now, already transferring once at Manchester London Road. The train slowed once more. Her last transfer, until the ferry, at least. Katherine quickly gathered up her handbag and walked off the train in search of the next one, which was, thankfully, quickly found. Finding a seat, however, was not so easy.
She walked from one train car to the next and the next looking for an open window seat, but none were available. She heard the last call for boarding and knew she needed to find a seat quickly.
In her current train car, there were two open seats, one near a rather loud group of men at the far end of the train car and another near the center of the car next to a man quietly reading a newspaper. She opted for the newspaper man.
"May I sit here?" she asked, fighting her shyness. No response. "Excuse me, sir. May I sit here?" she repeated much louder.
He briefly turned to look up at her and nodded, "Yes, of course," he replied with a small quick smile before returning to his newspaper.
Thankful to be finally sitting again, Katherine pulled out her book once again just as the train left the station. Katherine and the man seated next to her sat comfortably in silence for the next hour or so. But before long, the hours of travel started to catch up with Katherine. Between the murmur of conversations and the gentle rocking of the train car, Katherine could feel her eyes grow heavy.
"Woah!" Katherine muttered under her breath as she jerked her head back up. The frequency with which she caught herself dozing off was increasing at an alarming rate.
"Are you alright there, Miss?" The man beside her asked. For the first time, she noticed his Scottish accent. His words were kind, if not a little concerned.
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. All this travel must be catching up with me." Exactly how long had she been traveling?
"Tell you what. How about we get you a cup of tea in the dining car?" His offer seemed sincere. What harm could there be in some tea and company? Sure, Katherine wasn't the best at conversing with strangers, but she could manage. Truth be told, she could go for some food and something different to pass the time. The rather loud rumble from her stomach confirmed the matter.
"I think that about solves it!" he chuckled, "Let's go."
With that, the man folded his newspaper and tucked it under his arm. Katherine moved into the aisle and waited for the man to lead the way to the dining car. They found an empty table and took their seats facing each other. The moment they sat down, a porter appeared to take their order.
"What'll it be?" he asked. They both stared at the menu a moment before the man spoke,
"A pot of tea, please, and some toast and butter?" he responded, looking at Katherine for approval.
"Yes, that sounds lovely," she agreed and smiled politely. And it truly did sound delicious. Between her book and making sure not to miss her train transfers, she had forgotten to eat!
"Right away, Sir. Miss." He nodded at them, quickly turned away, and walked off.
The man across from Katherine looked out the window, and Katherine took the opportunity to study him. He wasn't old, mid-thirties perhaps, with light brown hair, a clean-shaven face, and a bit of tanned skin, suggesting he worked or at least spent some time outside. He was considerably handsome and seemed soft-spoken; his voice lacked any of the gruffness she was used to hearing in men around his age, at least back home.
He wore a brown wool suit that fit properly and looked rather new, which meant he made a decent living and took pride in his appearance. The newspaper he kept nearby suggested he was worldly and interested in current affairs.
He took a sharp breath in as if to speak and turned to face her. Not wanting to be caught staring at him, Katherine quickly began to study the tablecloth very intently. Unfortunately, it seemed as though she had been caught as she heard the man chuckle quietly.
'At least he had the decency not to comment!' Katherine thought as she felt heat rise in her cheeks.
"So, tea?" she asked.
'Tea?! Well, now it is settled; I am not cut out for small talk,' she chastised herself but, unwilling to be more outwardly embarrassed than she already was, Katherine maintained eye contact.
'Extraordinary,' she thought, finally seeing his eyes clearly. His eyes were a beautiful hazel gray. The inner part of the iris near the pupil was a golden brown, while the outer ring was a cool gray.
"Yes, tea. I'll drink coffee, but I much prefer tea," he explained, pausing only when the porter returned with the tea and food.
"Thank you." They said in unison and then smiled at each other.
"I prefer tea as well. Although, it may have something to do with the fact that I've never tried coffee before," Katherine explained.
"Never?" He asked in mild disbelief.
"Never. My aunt can't stand the thought of it, so I've just never had the opportunity."
"Well, in that case, might I suggest you avoid trying coffee from a train dining car as your first go at it."
"Noted!" Katherine acknowledged mid-laugh. "Sugar?" she asked.
"No, thank you. Nothing for me," he replied, taking a sip.
"I also take mine with no milk or sugar; it's much simpler this way and no fuss."
"I very much agree."
A pleasant silence passed over them as they tucked into their small meal. Katherine broke the silence after she finished her toast and first cup of tea,
"Where are you headed?"
"Belfast," he answered curtly. Katherine was a little taken aback by the shortness of his answer and the evenness of his tone. It was quite different than the way he spoke to her before. She figured he might be a more private person and decided it was best not to push for more of an explanation.
"Me as well. Going to meet my fiancé." She didn't let on that "meet" meant literally meeting him for the first time, but Katherine figured a stranger didn't need to know that.
"That is quite the long way for a young lady to travel alone." She could almost hear a hint of concern in his voice. "Have you been there before?"
"No, this will be the first time." Katherine could hear the lack of confidence in her voice, "But I will be meeting my cousin there. My cousin had a sudden change in travel plans. Otherwise, we would be traveling together."
"Well, that's good to hear."
"Have you been to Belfast before?"
"Oh yes, plenty of times."
"Well, great then. I shall just consider you my travel companion until we get there!" Katherine's eyes grew wide as she realized what she had just said. "I apologize; what a terribly silly thing for me to say!" she exclaimed, quite embarrassed. She could see the amused smile on his face and turned to look out the window for fear that her face may turn as red as a tomato!
"It's quite alright. We are traveling to the same destination and making conversation along the way. I dare say that's close enough," he reassured her.
They passed the next 30 minutes in the dining car, each having one more cup of tea. Since she had been reading earlier, the man asked Katherine about her favorite books. It turns out they both enjoyed mystery novels. Katherine was quite pleased with how animated he became when she mentioned she was reading The Hound of the Baskervilles on that very train. Since Katherine had not yet finished it, they chatted enthusiastically about the previous Sherlock Holmes books.
"Oh dear, it appears we have reached Holyhead," the man observed as the train came to a stop.
Taking one last sip of tea, they gathered their belongings and emerged from the train into the night. It was well past midnight by now, and Katherine was suddenly very glad to have her "traveling companion." They collected their luggage and began the short walk to the ferry dock.
The man insisted on carrying Katherine's rather large suitcase. She accepted politely, although she felt slightly terrible about it. With no luggage to carry, Katherine wrung her hands as the ferry and sea came into view. The man must have noticed her anxiousness,
"What, never been on a ferry before?" he asked half-jokingly.
"No, I haven't. I've never been on a boat of any kind before," she explained, biting her lip.
"Ah well, it's not so bad. There are lifeboats in case of emergency, and you've got me, so you've got nothing to worry about." She could tell he was trying to calm her and soothe her nerves, but as they walked up the gangway onto the ferry, she could feel her breath quicken.
"Do you… um, do you travel on boats often?" she asked, more because she was trying to distract herself, but she was also interested in learning more about him. Their conversation in the dining car made it seem like they had passed the point of strangers and were now more like amicable acquaintances.
"Grew up on boats, really. My father and grandfather were both ship captains, so you could say it runs in my blood," he explained as they made their way up to the more secluded second level. Katherine quickly took a seat on one of the benches while the man leaned over the railing near her seat.
"That's remarkable. My parents both died at sea on the SS Naronic. So, I've made it a point to avoid boats and sea travel altogether," she explained with a small, pained laugh.
Katherine noticed that the air between them had turned a little cold. Was it the cool night air, or was it her confession?
"Until now, that is," she added, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yes, quite right. This fiancé of yours must be quite the fellow if you're willing to do this just to see him."
'Ah, yes, Officer Murdoch.' Katherine had nearly forgotten about him since she boarded the train at Chester. She didn't really know how to respond to that. She didn't even know her fiancé, and here she was, putting herself in emotional and physical peril to meet him. The more she thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed. Katherine sat silently, staring down at her feet.
Suddenly, a hand appeared in front of her face,
"Come, stand near the railing. The wind is refreshing, and the moonlight looks beautiful on the water."
She looked up at him. His eyes were gentle, and a soft smile pulled at his lips. Katherine's heart fluttered, thankful for the dim lanterns hiding her flushed cheeks. She nodded and accepted his hand to stand up. She noticed that he did not let go of her hand as he led her closer to the railing. She noted his boldness, considering he knew she had a fiancé, but she couldn't bring herself to pull her hand away, either.
Once she reached the railing, he finally let go of her hand, and Katherine tightly gripped the cool metal. She looked down into the water and watched it crash into the side of the ferry. She didn't feel calm at all.
"Look up," he directed. Her gaze followed his hand pointing behind her at the lifeboats, buoy rings, and life jackets. "The crossing is not that wide, and we have plenty of equipment to keep us all safe."
She couldn't help but smile. This man, who didn't even know she existed 3 hours ago, was trying so hard to comfort her. It was endearing but it also worried her. Would Officer Murdoch be endearing? Would he try to comfort and reassure her in times like this? Or was he a cold man, bitter and wanting to be left alone?
There were too many questions, too many unknowns, and as the ferry moved closer and closer to the Irish coast, Katherine felt her fate closing in around her. A chill ran down her spine. Was it from the cool breeze or her frigid thoughts? She couldn't be sure. She turned back to look out at the water.
"The truth is…" she began, taking a deep breath.
'Why am I telling him this? Why did I tell him about my parents? But it feels like a dirty secret I can't hold in any longer.' Her thoughts raged against each other. His expression was calm. A perfect contrast to hers. He stood tall and steady. She used his comforting aura to steady herself,
"The truth is, I don't know my fiancé. I've never met him. I'm traveling hundreds, no, thousands of miles to be with him, but I know nothing about him. My family had such little hope in my prospects that they arranged a marriage for me. I'm horrified and ashamed and just terrified."
She sobbed softly into her hands. Telling him was somewhat cathartic, as though having someone outside her family know of this ridiculous arranged marriage would somehow validate her feelings.
He sat silently next to her. She figured he likely didn't know what to say to such a confession. Neither would she, really, if the roles were reversed.
"I think you're very brave to make such a journey and to take such a risk. You may think you have no choice in the matter, but you chose to follow through with this journey, which is admirable. I hope your fiancé recognizes this."
His words were encouraging; she should try to make the best of the situation, "Thank you, that is very kind."
"Very kind and very true!" he exclaimed. "You're shivering," he observed. Before Katherine could object, he had taken off his overcoat and extended it towards her, "May I, Miss?"
She knew she probably shouldn't accept the coat of a man she hardly knew, but she nodded her approval and welcomed the warmth of the thick wool enveloping her.
"And it's Miss Lofthouse. Katherine Lofthouse," she introduced herself. "It's funny that we've been conversing for the last 3 hours and have forgotten basic manners!" She looked up to thank him, but his expression was far from what she expected. His hazel eyes were wide, his mouth slightly parted, and his expression was one of surprise and confusion. He didn't speak. He starred at her for what felt like an eternity until she could take it no longer,
"Sir, are you okay? Are you not feeling well?" Katherine asked, reaching out to gently touch his arm. Her brows were knitted together, and her voice was full of worry.
"Murdoch. My name is William Murdoch."