::: chapter 2 :::
Joey stood outside Ross and Rachel's apartment, taking a deep breath before he could make any movement to knock on the door. Lately he had been really confused over everything that had happened to his life and, well, to everyone elese's lives. He wasn't supposed to have asked Rachel to marry him, hell, he hadn't! But she was so depressed...! And she said yes to him. He figured maybe the truth would make her devastaded again and deep down there was also a part of him that really really wanted her for him. But he knew it wasn't right and felt awful for this whole thing... "Maybe with time this dust will set down and we can figure this out", he concluded.
Inside, in Emma's bedroom, Ross and Rachel were still embraced in their longing kiss. Surely neither of them had even thought about Joey or the engagement, they were too happy to let their minds be bothered like that. But they had figured the wedding was off anyway, considering she now knew that Joey wasn't really proposing and that the ring was Ross'. So they didn't even want to think about that right now, nothing seemed to matter. They just kissed and let themselves be happy with each other like once they did in the past.
Emma stirred and made of her her cute baby sounds, which immediately made Ross and Rachel break apart. They looked down at her and saw she was right back into her sleep, false alarm. Rachel kept looking down at the baby smiling and Ross looked up at her, kind of anxious to see what look she would have on her face when she looked back. Just then she looked at him and her smile grew a little more, making her blush. Ross, obviously content with her expression, took one of her hands and kissed it.
They kept staring at each other for a while without saying anything. There wasn't anything to say, once again, they knew exactly how the other was feeling because that's exactly how they felt... the same way. Slowly they leaned in for another kiss, this time more slow and tender than the previous one, but yet so deep neither of them heard the knock on the door once, twice... and then Emma broke into tears when the knocking got hard enough to wake her up. They broke the kiss once again to assist Emma and finally heard the knocking. Rachel was already picking Emma up from her crib, so Ross walked to the door to see who that was.
"H-hey, Ross" Joey said with a shaky voice. They hadn't talked much or been very civil with each other lately, not since Joey accidentally proposed to Rachel. Before any of this happened, Joey had already talked to Ross about his feelings for Rachel and Ross himself was the one who convinced Joey to talk to Rachel about it. But yet lately things hadn't seemed so easy, specially because Ross felt so betrayed. Joey felt terrible for the whole thing, he would have never had proposed to Rachel like that, Ross was one of his best friends after all. But now that the mess was set, he figured he'd have to carry on so he wouldn't end up hurting Rachel aswell.
"Hi Joey" Ross said, a bit atonished. For a moment there he fell back into reality, into the world where Rachel was engaged to someone else, where she wasn't his girlfriend. He was no longer angry though, he was more of upset for Joey. The main reason he was so angry when he heard about Joey and Rachel's engagement was because he figured he'd never have a chance with Rachel again after that. But now that he knew kinda why Rachel said yes, he was only upset with Joey because of what he did, he proposed to Rachel after all, with his ring. He felt betrayed, deeply betrayed by one of his best friends. He really thought Joey cared more about their friendship...
"Hm, is Rachel there?" Joey asked, still nervous. Ross quickly looked into the baby's room direction and could clearily hear Emma crying still, "Yeah, come on in". Joey entered, still nervous because of Ross' presence. He usually visited Rachel and Emma when Ross was at work, but today he had an audition that took all afternoon so he couldn't come. Luckily he had gotten the part, it seemed easier to get a call back and actual parts now that he was back in "Days of our lives". "She's in Emma's room" "Thanks", Joey said, walking slowly towards the bedroom. Ross thought it'd be better for him to stay out of it, but he sat down on the tabe, where he had put his briefcase, and started marking some essays close enough to hear what happened in there.
Joey stood on the doorway for a while, watching Rachel as she craddled Emma back to sleep. But Emma way still crying so hard her tiny face was all red and she was screaming from the top of her lungs. "Shhh, sweetie, calm down, it's okay... Shhh", Rachel whispered softly, still unaware of Joey's presence. Joey looked somewhat hurt, he was taking notice at how beautiful and perfect Rachel was... but she didn't love him. He knew that for sure. She cared a lot about him, he knew that, but in a marriege that's just not enough. He wanted her to love him so bad it hurt sometimes...
Rachel turned around and noticed Joey looking at her. "Hi Joey", she said softly, she kinda had figured out it would be him at the door. He smiled a little, trying to hide his sorrow. "Hi Rach", he replied. "Need any help with Emma?" he offered. Rachel looked down at the baby and sighed, her vocal cords being able to reach the highest notes here and there pushing her close to the edge. Emma was the cutest baby and could be really calm, but when she was crabby she had the worst mood. "Too bad she got that from her daddy", Rachel thought, too blind to admit part of that was from her too.
"She'll be fine, thanks", Rachel said, still pacing around the room, gently rocking Emma. Joey stood there for a while, he figured it would be better if he didn't say anything while Emma was still crying. Not that he actually had anything to say, but everyday he came around to just have some small talk with Rachel, she could get quite lonely when Ross was working. Besides, they were going to get married, he was her fiancée, somehow...! It just didn't feel like it. They didn't act like a couple, they had never even kissed, so he wasn't sure of how exactly he should act with her.
She sat on the rocking chair on a corner and Emma's cry slowly began to fade away. "Mental note, Emma likes the rocking chair", the thought to herself. She had been doing that a lot lately, everyday more learning things about her daughter that would be very helpful when she needed them. She already knew quite a few things about her. She knew Emma liked the tryceraptor teddy better than any other teddy she had, she knew exactly what temperature she liked on her water when she had a bath, she knew she liked to watch when Rachel had lunch, she knew that she fell asleep everytime Ross marked essays with her, reading the boring things his students wrote about rocks... Rachel smiled at the memory.
Soon Emma was quiet, but still wide awake, looking at her mother atently. This was also one of Rachel's favorite moments, just having her baby looking at her with her big blue eyes, just like hers, as if they're getting to know each other better simply by that look. Rachel kept smiling at Emma, their look still locked in each other's, and rocking on the chair. Joey approached them and smiled at the love he could feel on the atmosphere, unconditional love. For a moment he pretended that it was his own family... His wife Rachel, holding his daughter Emma. But after a moment he shook himself off of that thought, he knew he couldn't fool himself like that.
"She has beautiful eyes", Joey commented. Rachel quickly looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah, she got Ross' puppie look", she smiled. Joey's half smile faded a bit. "I meant the color, same as yours" he said. "Hers is a little lighter though, I suppose it's her age", she said. Emma then placed some fingers in her mouth and sucked them, saliva pouring from her tiny mouth and dripping from her chin. Joey got a disgusted expression and Rachel simply smiled, everything her baby did seemed to be cute.
"Hm, remember that audition for that play I wanted?" Joey began. "Oh yeah, it was today, right? How did it go?" Rachel said as she grabbed a tissue to clean Emma's chin. "It went really well, I got the part", he said. "Oh, Joey, I'm happy for you", she said, smiling at him, but too busy with her baby to congratulate him better. He noticed that and for a second hundreds of thoughts rushed through his head, ones that showed him how things would be if he indeed married Rachel. They would have a lot less time for themselves because of Emma, that was for sure. He quickly put those thoughts aside though, they seemed way too selfish for him, he shouldn't focus on the bad part of dating a girl who had a baby with another guy.
The rest of Joey's visit doesn't deserve any deep remark. Emma eventually fell asleep and Rachel talked to him for a while, still in the room. Their conversation never reached any important subject, Rachel never mentioned Ross and what had previously happened, for she wasn't really sure what was really going on. She wanted to feel guilty, but what happened was so right that she just couldn't feel that way. She actually felt guilty for not feeling guilty! After a while she concluded maybe that meant she was falling back in love with Ross. Or that maybe she never actually stopped loving him on the first place.
By the time Joey had left Ross had already finished marking the essays and was on the shower, so there was no one in the living room. Rachel stood there for a while and realised she still was on her bathrobe she put on after she took her shower, so she went into her room to change and lay down for a few minutes. When she came out she saw Ross setting the table for two as a delicious smell of chicken came from the kitchen. He looked at her and both smiled weakly at each other. She approached and helped him, neither saying anything for a while.
"How did it go with Joey?", he asked as if he already didn't know. He wanted to bring it up though, he figured they would have to talk about it sooner or later, better make that sooner. She looked at him "I don't know." There was a slight pause. "I didn't tell him anything, if that's what you wanna know. I figured we, you and me, kinda have to talk before I can talk to him", she continued. He looked back at her and looked as if he was more than satisfied with her decision, it was clear that he was more important than Joey for her now.
"So, what do you wanna do, Ross?", Rachel asked rather shy. Ross smiled brightly and walked over to her. "This", he said right before he kissed her. Their arms wrapped around each other and they sunk in the kiss once again, they just loved kissing each other, it felt so... right. And good, really good. After a few minutes they broke the kiss, relutantly, and looked at each other for a bit, but not being able to stop giving each other small soft kisses. "How's that for you?" he asked, still in between kisses. "Really" paused for a kiss "good", she replied. They giggled and hugged tight, kissing each other's shoulder, neck or ear every now and then.
Their "flirting" (for the lack of a better word!) was quickly broken by Emma crying though. "You gotta be kidding me", Ross said jokingly as they broke their hug. Rachel smiled back at him and looked at her watch. "She's just hungry", she said. "Well, so am I", he replied, pulling her close for a final kiss before she went into the room. He looked after her, smiling from ear to ear, so happy he couldn't feel his feet. Then he realised something was burning in the kitchen and got there just in time to save his and Rachel's dinner.
Rachel hadn't been happy like that since... actually, she's never been that happy before. She was rocking her baby girl as she breastfed her, mother and child connection once again getting stronger, and the man of her life was cooking them dinner. Oh, there he was, standing on the doorway, giving her one of those looks she knew she'd remember till the day she died. Some of those just stuck in her memory. Then he approached them, pulled a chair and sat just across from Rachel, not taking his his off of the beautiful scene he saw before him. Rachel blushed a little. He had seen her do that before but yet this time was different. He had this undescribeable (sp?) look on his face that just made her feel completely naked. She liked that feeling though, she had missed it.
After a while her eyes caught the ring she had previously placed on Emma's changer, right after she had found out the truth behind it, and she felt the need to once again talk about the whole thing. "So, hm, what are we gonna do about Joey?", Rachel asked softy, a bit afraid that it could ruin their moment. "I- I had figured you'd break off the engagement..." he said, with a tone of sadness on his voice now. "But hey, it's your choice. I'm not gonna stand on the way of anything", he finished. "Hey-hey, this is not what I meant. Yes, the engagement is off... But how should I tell him, when should I tell him?", she asked. He looked at her for a while. "I don't know, tomorrow?". "No, no, I can't break his heart with such short notice!", she said. He looked at her confused for a while.
"So you wanna go on with this, for how long?" he was clearily frustrated and starting to get jealous aswell. "Ross, you didn't see just how upset he was when he told me he loved me and I didn't say it back" He looked down. "I don't wanna hurt him again" "Well, he hurt me, Rachel. He shouldn't have asked you to marry him" Ross said in his defense. Just then Rachel remembered that she hadn't told Ross yet how she realised that Joey never planned on doing it and that it was just an accident she misunderstood. "Ross, I-" she started, just before she felt a sharp pain on the breast Emma was sucking on. "Ouch, baby", she said with a painful smile. Ross chuckled. "She's that strong?" "She's that hungry", she corrected him, smiling.
Ross approached a little more and kissed Rachel's forehead. "Alright, you take as much time as you need to figure this out, okay?", he said. She kept smiling at him, glad Ross had matured enough to give her that much space. "Thank you", she whispered. He softly kissed her lips and then planted another one on Emma's hair. "You think daddy can burp her and tuck her in when she's done?", he asked sweetly. She smiled a lot. "Please", she answered with a cute laughter. They kissed once again and then just watched their daughter for a long time.
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