Here we go with the Gorons!
DISCLAIMER: Don't you know it by now?
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(The reporter and cameraman are outside the Goron Village on Death Mountain.)
REPORTER: We finally made it to the Goron Village! Good thing I stole that gift tag that Zelda signed from Link. I don't think that guard would've let us up otherwise. Well, now it's time to go in!
(They enter the village to find not a Christmas tree, but instead a large rock with little bombs set all around it.)
REPORTER: There you have it, a Goron Christmas tree. That's what you use when trees don't grow in your area!
(They go down some passages until they are level with the Gorons who have gathered around their 'tree')
REPORTER: Excuse me, sir? Could you tell me something about the Christmas traditions of your people?
GORON: I'm a girl Goron.
REPORTER: Really? How do you tell?
GORON: (Whispers something into the Reporter's ear.) That's how.
REPORTER: Uh, thank you for that information. Anyway, what about those traditions?
GORON: We light the bombs at noon exactly and scatter before the rock blows up.
REPORTER: Is that all?
GORON: Yes. Hey, it's almost noon!
ALL GORONS: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... IT'S NOON!
REPORTER: Wait, it's noon!
(Two Gorons get up on two ladders and begin lighting the bombs. Once they are all lit, the Gorons start to run away.)
REPORTER: Aaaah! The bombs are going to go off in seconds! How's that for an intense Christmas tradition?
CAMERA MAN: Um, do you think we should run away screaming?
REPORTER: Of course!
(They both turn and run into Darunia's chamber, screaming really loudy. Darunia looks at them questioningly as they enter.)
DARUNIA: Who are you?
REPORTER: Oh, we're doing a television special on the Christmas traditions of the people of Hyrule. Do you care to comment on any Goron ones?
DARUNIA: The only way we celebrate Christmas is by blowing up our annual Christmas Rock. It goes off at-(Darunia is interrupted by a huge BOOOOOOOOOOOOM.) Oh, there it goes. Too bad I missed it.
REPORTER: Do any Gorons ever get hurt with this tradition?
DARUNIA: Yeah, we usually have a casualty or two.
REPORTER: Seriously?
DARUNIA: Well, some Gorons aren't smart enough to run away on time.
REPORTER: Oh. Well, then. I think we'll be leaving since you're done celebrating Christmas.
DARUNIA: Come back and visit anytime!
REPORTER: Join us again later as we uncover the secrets of the Kokiri Christmas!
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Like he said, I'll write the Kokiri Christmas section later.
DISCLAIMER: Don't you know it by now?
---------------------------------------------------
(The reporter and cameraman are outside the Goron Village on Death Mountain.)
REPORTER: We finally made it to the Goron Village! Good thing I stole that gift tag that Zelda signed from Link. I don't think that guard would've let us up otherwise. Well, now it's time to go in!
(They enter the village to find not a Christmas tree, but instead a large rock with little bombs set all around it.)
REPORTER: There you have it, a Goron Christmas tree. That's what you use when trees don't grow in your area!
(They go down some passages until they are level with the Gorons who have gathered around their 'tree')
REPORTER: Excuse me, sir? Could you tell me something about the Christmas traditions of your people?
GORON: I'm a girl Goron.
REPORTER: Really? How do you tell?
GORON: (Whispers something into the Reporter's ear.) That's how.
REPORTER: Uh, thank you for that information. Anyway, what about those traditions?
GORON: We light the bombs at noon exactly and scatter before the rock blows up.
REPORTER: Is that all?
GORON: Yes. Hey, it's almost noon!
ALL GORONS: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... IT'S NOON!
REPORTER: Wait, it's noon!
(Two Gorons get up on two ladders and begin lighting the bombs. Once they are all lit, the Gorons start to run away.)
REPORTER: Aaaah! The bombs are going to go off in seconds! How's that for an intense Christmas tradition?
CAMERA MAN: Um, do you think we should run away screaming?
REPORTER: Of course!
(They both turn and run into Darunia's chamber, screaming really loudy. Darunia looks at them questioningly as they enter.)
DARUNIA: Who are you?
REPORTER: Oh, we're doing a television special on the Christmas traditions of the people of Hyrule. Do you care to comment on any Goron ones?
DARUNIA: The only way we celebrate Christmas is by blowing up our annual Christmas Rock. It goes off at-(Darunia is interrupted by a huge BOOOOOOOOOOOOM.) Oh, there it goes. Too bad I missed it.
REPORTER: Do any Gorons ever get hurt with this tradition?
DARUNIA: Yeah, we usually have a casualty or two.
REPORTER: Seriously?
DARUNIA: Well, some Gorons aren't smart enough to run away on time.
REPORTER: Oh. Well, then. I think we'll be leaving since you're done celebrating Christmas.
DARUNIA: Come back and visit anytime!
REPORTER: Join us again later as we uncover the secrets of the Kokiri Christmas!
---------------------------------------------
Like he said, I'll write the Kokiri Christmas section later.