Chapter Three

After an extremely disgusting form of treatment Carter was able to discharge the Urinary Tract guy. However the Anal Stenosis was a different matter. The treatment took slightly longer than Carter had expected. In fact it took so long that their absence was being to be noticed. Susan was standing in the admin area when she noticed that Carter's patient was still up on the board she turned to Frank and said, "Hey Frank. Do you know where Carter is?"

He replied without looking up, "How the hell should I know?"

She didn't seem to hear him, "Is it he still with that Anal Stenosis guy?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think that something might have happened?"

"I'm not sure there is another way to say it, I don't know."

It didn't really matter what Frank said at that point as Susan has begun to walk over to the room where the board said Carter's patient was. She reached the door and heard a noise that sounded like a wild animal crying after stepping onto one of those bear traps. She immediately pulled the door wide open and her face dropped in shock. The patient was leaning on his side with both Carter and Abby staring intently at his ass. It looked like part of Carter's hand and reaching inside of the guy. All of them looked round at Susan when she opened the door but none of them said anything. Carter went straight back to what he was doing and asked Abby for an instrument which made her turn back too. Only the patient stayed staring at Susan and it was him who was the first to speak, "Excuse me, do you mind?" He directed this towards Susan and then turned to Carter, at least tried to as his current position kind of restricted the amount of turn he could achieve, "I thought you said this wasn't one of those procedures that make other doctors come and have a look!"

Carter brought his eyes up from what he was doing, "It isn't. Dr Lewis probably came in for a very good reason didn't you Dr Lewis?" He said the last part while turning to face Susan.

She had by now recovered from the initial shock and was able to at least speak, "err.. yes. I did come in here for a reason." She took a little time to think. "Weaver wanted to know what was taking you so long."

"There was a complication."

"What sort of complication?"

Carter started to strain quite a bit and just managed to say, "I'm kind of busy. Abby do you mind?"

Abby instantly knew what Carter wanted her to do. She went over to Susan and spoke in a quiet voice, "There was something up there." She made a sudden movement with her head.

Susan still looked rather puzzled, "Up where?"

"There." Again Abby made the movement with her head.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Up there."

"Uh-huh."

"How did."

"You don't want to know."

"Okay."

There was a moment of silence in which everyone could hear Carter struggling with all his might to remove the object.

"What is it?"

"A light bulb."

"Really?"

"Yep."

Susan turned to the patient, "You put a light bulb up your."

He cut her off before she could finish, "Yes."

"Why?"

He answered in an unusually calm tone considering what he was currently going through, "I was bored."

"Wasn't there anything good on TV?"

Before the patient could ask Carter let out a loud cry, "Got it."

All of them looked at what he was holding in his hand. "Man that's huge." Said Abby with Susan nodding in agreement.

Carter addressed the patient showing him the light bulb, "Now what has this taught you?"

"Not to put a light bulb up my ass?"

"Not just a light bulb. Anything that you can not easily get out."

"Okay Doc."

Carter went back to the two ladies, "You know there are certain times when I wonder why I ever became a doctor."

"Certainly wasn't for the money." Abby replied.

Carter gave her a look that he intended to be glaring but actually made Abby smile. He then turned his attention to Susan who also had a smile on her face, "Any more traumas come in?"

"One but he was dead before he got here."

"How many does that made tonight?"

"Three."

They all shared a moment of reflective silence. Despite encountering death on nearly a daily basis it was still hard to deal with at times.

Carter pulled out his pen and began to write on the patient's chart. While he was doing this he was telling Abby what to do with the patient. When he was done Abby confirmed that she had got it all down and him and Susan left the room. When he thought they were out of Abby's earshot Carter looked up at Susan and said, "Have you got a hair-cut?"

"Yeah. You know you are the only person who has said anything."

"Looks good."

"Thanks."

There was some awkward silence between the two before Susan attempted to change the subject, "Light bulb, huh"

"Yeah. It doesn't quite seem like a week's work without taking something out of someone's ass."

"What's the weirdest thing you have ever," Susan tried to select an acceptable word. ".removed?"

"I don't know. Probably a pen."

"A pen. That's not that unusual."

"This was a solid gold pen."

"Solid gold?"

"Must have been worth a few thousands."

"Okay maybe it was unusual."

"What about you?"

"Broom."

"What? A broom handle?"

"Nope. A complete broom."

"How did they say it got up there."

"Fell on it."

They shared a laugh at how often that is given as an excuse. When they stopped their eyes met and they shared a look. However before either of them could do anything else the doors to the ambulance bay were smashed open. Two paramedics were furiously working, "We need some help here!"

Both Susan and Carter rushed over to them and saw a body covered in blood. "What you got?"