t e n
There wasn't much word from Stiles for a few days. Ky didn't visit again, wanting to give him some space to get better. His texts were short if there were any.
In that time, she found herself lying in bed wondering how he was and replaying the conversation they'd had about Allison. Was he upset after talking about it? Maybe he regretted it. Either way, there was so much more pain than she'd thought. Guilt. Shame. Maybe it was better to leave him alone to deal with it. It felt like she was doing the same thing when they hung out; ignoring the bigger issues in their minds. And yet the reprieve felt worth it, by the end of every day or night. Just teens being teens, doing stupid stuff and cracking jokes and getting food. It was easy to pretend that the line between life and death was an unfamiliar one when they were together. It was harder to forget that it was when they were alone again.
The scene at the corner store played in her head, too. This ability to manipulate emotions, to not just absorb but to reflect and transform them too. No, that wasn't the word. Manipulate? Change. To change them. What if she was changing everyone's emotions around her, to fit her own needs? Maybe just in subtle ways.
She thought of Stiles's hand pulling her up at Avalon beach, or offered in support while she got used to getting in and out of the jeep. Heck, even while carrying art supplies when there were too many. Brushing off the bench for them both, by the elementary school one evening earlier in the month. There'd been a lot of care in the actions, in him. At the time she'd decided it was nothing, but now… well, there was no denying that the memories made her feel warm inside. these things. That probably wasn't good.
What if he felt warm, too? Not because of the fever, but of… other reasons. No, no. Not them. Not now. Besides, what if that was only because of how she felt… God, what a headache.
Ky sat up, glanced at the wall calendar. August began tomorrow. Summer was halfway over. The setting sunlight spilled through the window, giving the lilac walls a golden sheen.
Maybe a visit wouldn't be a bad idea. Just to see how Stiles was doing.
No, it'd be very bad. What would she even say? What did she want to say? How are you, get well soon- by the way, I may have manipulated you into feeling something for me that you don't actually feel, unless you don't actually feel anything in which case this is very embarrassing and I'm going to flee the continent…
No, no. Maybe just the first part. She just wanted to know if he was alright. Ky turned over and sank into her pillow, frustrated, then made up her mind and got up and out of bed, pulling on a cardigan while leaving. Now or never. Or just wait until another day? No, she'd lose her nerve.
A few minutes later she was out the door and in front of his, but it was looking all too real, all too soon. She took a deep breath, hesitated, and spun around to go back home. Another day, another day.
Except the door opened.
"Hey, what's up? I saw movement from the window." Stiles was surprised, but not in a bad way.
"Nothing. Sorry, I'm not- um. Are you feeling better?"
"Yea, actually. A lot better. Thanks for… the other night."
"It's what friends do." Automatic. Not the best choice of words, considering what she'd been planning to say. An awkward silence hung in the air along with the word friends before Stiles broke it with a nod and a slightly forced-seeming grin.
"Right."
Ky nodded, and stared at the boy in his pajama pants and t-shirt. They both looked in the direction of her grandparents' house. They spoke again at the same time.
"You wanna come in?" Stiles asked, just as Ky blurted "I need to tell you something."
Black spots danced across her vision. She touched her temple and nodded. One step forward had her falling.
His hand caught her arm. "Whoa," Stiles said, letting her lean on him and helping her in.
"Dizzy spell," she murmured. "I used to get them sometimes. I'm okay." Stiles let go, the place where his hand had been suddenly cold.
They went into the living room. The TV was playing, and Stiles's laptop was on the table.
"You want some water? That's a dumb question. I'll get you some water. If you want."
Ky nodded, giving a slight smile of appreciation, "Sure." He went to the kitchen while she looked around the room; only one curtain was open, letting in a bit of daylight. There was no air conditioning. Framed photos hung on the wall, and there were albums on a shelf by the TV.
Stiles came back with a glass for her and a mug for him. He took a seat on the edge of the armchair by the couch and took a sip out of his own mug before reaching over to put it down on the table.
Ky took a sip from the cool glass. Refreshing. "Thanks."
"No prob. Better?"
"Mhm."
Concern radiated off the boy. He was watching her with that trademark focus, she could feel it, but there was also a softness to it now. A glance showed the familiar dark circles against pale skin. Another long night, probably. As soon as he could handle it. The word ghostly came to mind, similar to how she felt, but at least they were alive in this moment. Ky took another swig of water, felt it slip down her parched throat. She stared at the glass.
Stiles was still ready to take action at a moment's notice, do what he could to help. It was easy to see now, how much she cared about him.
They met eyes. Startled, Ky realized how much he cared about her, too. She looked away, thinking oh no while sitting down on the couch.
"Uh, you said you wanted to … say something, before?"
"Yea. I did say that."
"... Listen, if it's about anything I said when I was sick, I'm really sorry. I don't remember much from it but I remember it was about… Allison, so. If you don't wanna like, hang out anymore, that's cool. I mean, it would suck. But it's fine."
"It's not you at all." Ky looked at him, feeling what he felt and all the nerves that came with it. Every sign had been there and she hadn't realized it until now, not really. In a second Ky could see it all; those pivotal moments, those sweet ones. Stuff that was easy to deny, easy to lie about in terms of wanting anything more. Glances that lasted a second too long.
This was before knowing that it was possible to… bend someone else's emotions to her own will.
"You care too much," Ky said, accidentally out loud.
Stiles grew confused, and a bit hurt. She sighed, frustrated, words coming out stilted. "No, that's not what I mean- I also care a lot. Like, a lot more than I thought I did." She met his eyes again, heart racing. "About you."
Stiles raised his eyebrows in surprise. In hope. "You do?"
"Yea. Why else would I be calling and texting and wanting to make sure you're okay?" Her smile faltered. "But that's a terrible thing."
His face fell and she hated herself for it. "... I'm not following."
Ky opened her mouth and closed it again, then put her head in her hands. She couldn't believe she was about to say this.
"You remember that night at the hospital? When I ran out."
"Yea, why wouldn't I? You ran down three flights of stairs and across the entire parking lot. And I know that because I had to chase after you."
She laughed now, breaking the tension in the room. Relief flooded it instead. Their emotions were both so big and looming, even while trying to hide them. Even behind wit and jokes.
"Listen," Stiles began suddenly, "I think I know what you're gonna say, and I hate the fact that I'm about to fall into the last cliche I ever thought I would. But… are you a vampire?"
"... What?"
"Because the blood in the hospital would've been too- Uh, you know what? Nevermind. Please continue."
"... What do you mean, 'am I a vam-'"
"Nevermind, it was just a guess-"
"Yea, but…" She thought back to that evening, remembered that the both of them had kept from telling the other one something. Maybe this was it. She looked at him, bewildered.
"... Are you a vampire?"
"What? No. For better or for worse, I'm currently very human."
"Okay, but that's, that's what someone who wasn't human would say."
Stiles opened his mouth and closed it again, squinting. "You're not wrong."
A pause as they stared at each other, before Stiles threw his hands up in defence. "Okay, can we both just agree that this is ridiculous-"
"Clearly, but wait- are they real? Have you met one, then?"
"Surprisingly, no. I hope I don't jinx that. Ky, you were saying something."
"Oh, yea. I'm... sort of an empath."
"An empath," he repeated. "Like, you can tell what others are feeling?"
She nodded. "Whoever was in the room next to me that night, they were really sick. Nauseous. And afraid. And close to dying, anyway- or, that's how they felt like."
"... I heard the doctor say something about chemo after she checked on you... Huh. So that's why you ran?"
"Yea. And technically I wasn't lying about hating hospitals; there's so much fear and grief and worry in the air. Makes it hard to breathe."
"That … makes sense."
"... why aren't you surprised?"
"Oh, I can't be surprised by anything anymore."
"... What do you mean?"
"What- don't you know what I mean?"
She shook her head. "Do you hang out with a lot of psychics or something?" she joked.
"Eh, something like that."
She frowned, remembering. "You asked what hit me that night. As if you were expecting a who."
"Did I?"
"Yea."
"I don't remember…" She gave him a look, staring in both confusion and suspicion. "Okay, fine. Your eyes are really pretty, by the way," he said quickly. "Uh, okay. Like a bandaid situation, I guess. Werewolves are real. And a bunch of other things. Banshees. Kitsunes. Evil spirits," he added after a pause, quietly.
"How-"
"A lot of trial and error and bloodshed, unfortunately."
"... Oh. Okay. Did you just say werewolves?"
"Yea. You remember Isaac? Scott?"
"I do, but- oh. Oh my god. This makes my thing like, nothing."
Stiles laughed. "I wouldn't say that. Man, it feels so good to tell you this. Felt like I was lying the whole time. Anyway, I don't get it- were you about to tell me about your empath abilities anyway and then changed your mind?"
"No, I was ready to keep that secret to the grave."
"Well, that's no fun."
She rolled her eyes. "It's not even an issue when I'm not … here."
"Like, inside?"
"No, like in town. As soon as I leave, it … fades."
"Huh."
"Yea. Anyway, I wasn't gonna tell you that, but I feel like I had to so that the next thing would make sense, and then the next thing, and then the thing that I actually came here to say."
He looked attentively at her, ready to listen.
"Please don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like… like that. So kindly. As if what I'm about to say is going to be good news."
She could feel tears burning and rubbed them out instead.
"I just wanna listen- hey, it's alright. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's gonna be okay."
"It's just, there were these colours- and they were so angry just like that night-"
"What colours? Who?"
"Sorry, I'm not making sense."
"No, it's okay. It's okay. I'm mostly following- uh, which night?"
"When you found me, that same night- earlier when the car hit me, I was sort of blinded by this wave of anger and fear mixed together which was why I couldn't get out of the way. I mean, you must have wondered. It wasn't that narrow of a road." She shook her head. "Same thing in the store earlier. Oh." She reached into her pocket. "You want any gum?"
"You're unbelievable. What flavor?"
"Mint. What else?"
"Good choice… I'll take a piece, yea."
She sat down on the couch beside him and handed a piece over before spinning the pack between her fingers. "But this time- at the store the other day, this thing happened that had never happened before, where I could see these colours around them, like their auras, I guess? Or the colours of their emotions, or something. And he was just getting so close to me-"
"What an asshole…"
"-and the woman wasn't going to do anything about it and I don't know, I just wished they'd stop and feel the fear in me and then the colours faded a bit and they sorta... ran out of there. Terrified."
"Whoa."
"Yea. And now I'm scared that whatever I did to them is something I may have accidentally been doing… which would make me a terrible person. Manipulative. A freak."
"You aren't," Stiles said seriously. "Trust me, I've seen terrible, manipulative people. And worse, so I mean it when I say it's not you. This is the first time it happened, right?"
"The first time I've done it consciously."
He leaned in closer, looking at her seriously now. "This is… you're worried about something specific. What is it?"
Ky smiled sadly, finally letting the truth out. "You."
"Me?"
"Yea." She could see warm colours surrounding him. "This." A hesitant pause. "Us."
"Oh." It was then that he understood, she could see it in those brown eyes. "So there is an us."
"Maybe- unless I read it wrong, in which case…"
He shook his head. "You didn't read it wrong."
And then the distance between them had closed, each person unsure who had been the one to close it.