The Warmth Of You
by She's a Star
Disclaimer: Moulin Rouge belongs to Bazzie.
Author's Note: Satine's point of view during Gorecki.
* * *
If I should die this very moment...
It was so cold without you. I was slowly drowning, life dancing its way from my soul. Diamonds haunted me, smothered me with their enticing sparkle.
I've grown to hate diamonds.
Some days, I just wanted to allow myself to waste away into nothing. No one would care. They'd notice, of course...the disappearance of the Sparkling Diamond could never be inconspicuous. But if I was to die (and believe me, death was my dearest wish for quite sometime), not a single person would truly be sorry. Oh, Harold would mourn a bit...his marketing tool, his number one jewel of the Moulin would be gone, and where would that leave him business-wise? The can-can girls would be thrilled; they all hate me, especially Nini. She would probably laugh.
But none of that matters now.
You've saved me.
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness like being here...
I am a creature of the night. Throughout my entire life, everything has seemed hidden in a dark shadow. Now, with you here, the whole world seems doused in light, and my soul is flying.
I don't know if I'll ever truly fly away, but my heart, my spirit has escaped.
That's all that matters.
Wrapped in the warmth of you...
Loving every breath of you.
I can't even begin to count the number of greedy hands that have touched me, possessive and cruel. You're so different. I know that you love me. I would know, even if it wasn't for your lovely words and your sweet serenades. I can feel it when your hand caresses my cheek, when our lips meet.
It's all so perfect.
And yet...
Why live life...
Perfection can't be forever. I've never experienced it before now, but I know. We creatures of the underworld don't deserve such bliss. While I'd love to lose myself in you, in our love, a single thought haunts the back of my mind every moment we're together.
We'll never have a happy ending.
...from dream to dream...
The Moulin Rouge paints illusions; it gives off the impression that anything can happen here.
But I've been here for most of my life. I know the true Moulin Rouge, not just the essence it gives off to unknowing visitors.
Behind the stunning lights and the intricate decorating, behind the whirling can-can skirts and fistfuls of diamonds, this place is just like me.
Afraid. Alone.
Oh, Christian, I'm not alone anymore, but I'm so scared. Things can never be beautiful for us...
I don't want to hurt you.
I don't want to ruin you.
I don't deserve you.
...and dread the day...
The coughing returns again, a burning in my chest, so unbearably raw and painful. I surrender to the disease that will in time cause my ruin, allow it to run chills through me and slowly steal my consciousness.
I've doubled over now, and my eyes roll back and close.
One soft, bittersweet thought haunts me as I collapse to the hard floor.
It will be so cold without you.