"Erase and Rewind"

A knock on my door was all it took to bring me back to reality. "Coffee for your thoughts?"

Mom was there, leaning against the door. I smiled at her. She entered the room and sat next to me, handing me a cup of fresh coffee.

"Can I just…" she looked at me with her trying-to-look-pathetic pout of hers. "Sure," I said, handing her the cup. She took a sip, and then placed it on my desk.

Silence. More silence. Jess and that girl. Laughing. Kissing. Why can't I stop thinking about it?

"Who is she?" I asked mom. She must know something. Apparently, she read my mind. "Huh. Spotted the mystery girl?" I nodded. Mystery. I bet Jess likes that.

"I don't know. No one knows, really. I think they're about to do a segment about her on Ripley's" Mom said. I sighed. "Why do you ask?" mom asked, suddenly. I didn't know the answer. I kept being silent, trying to find an answer. I couldn't. Mom just got up.

"Ookie dookie, sweets. I'll be in the living room if you feel like talking". She went out of the room. I didn't feel like talking. I was confused. Why was I confused?

"Hey."

I wanted to go out. I didn't want to see Lane, or Dean, or anyone. Well, not anyone. There was one person I wanted to see. As much as I wanted to avoid him, I wanted to talk to him. I had to talk to him.

But I couldn't.

I went out to the park. I find it soothing there. Quiet. I walked towards the bridge, hands in my pockets, head hanged down. A voice called. I looked up. It was him. I looked down.

"Hi" I replied. "Welcome home" he greeted. I looked down at him. He was sitting. He was smiling. It made me remember that other welcome. I got lost in his eyes. I grabbed him. I kissed him. I was thinking about it again. I shook my head, trying to get these images out of my head. "Thanks." I said, looking down again. He looked up at me. I looked down at him. I missed him.

"You never told me you were going away," he suddenly said. He was right – I never did tell him. Between kissing him, avoiding him and making him feel like crap, I couldn't find the right time.

"Well, we weren't very chatty, were we?" I said, surprised by the tone of my voice. It wasn't harsh, but there was harshness in there. Still, it was soft. My eyes wandered around, trying to drown themselves in the pond.

"That's right," he said, nodding his head. I kept walking, finding myself standing next to him. I sat down, looking at the pond again. I wish I were as peaceful as it is.

"I'm sorry." I said. I was. He looked at me, his gaze curious. "For not telling me?" "For everything." I looked at him. Our eyes locked. I tried searching for answers in his eyes. There was some pain in there.

He looked away. I didn't want to say anything else. We were silent. The area was silent. The only thing I heard was the sound of his breaths. I was curious. I needed to know.

"Who is she?" I spitted out. He looked at me, surprised. "She?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah…" I looked down at my legs, "I saw you two at Luke's". And in my head, over and over again.

"When were you at Luke's?" He asked, avoiding my question. "I wasn't exactly at Luke's, I was…" I took a deep breath, "I waited for mom in the car". "Ahh…" He said, knowingly. "Avoiding me again, I see". I sighed. He knew the answer.

"So, who is she?"

He looked at me, smiling. His eyes looked above me. "A lady friend." He replied. "Hmm" I hummed, looking up at the sky. "Her name is Kara". Kara. Sounds… Kara-ish. "Where have you met her?" I asked, looking at him. "Around" he said. Great. Not vague at all. "Cool" I said, hurting inside. Why? I don't know.

"Why?" he suddenly asked, looking at me. Why? Like I said, I have no idea. Why… Why am I suddenly only interested in him?

"Can't a girl ask?" I finally responded. "A girl can ask" he said and nodded. I smiled. "Good". "Good" he responded, returning a smile.

"We okay?" He asked. I gazed down. Were we okay? I hope so. I wanted to be close to him again. "We're okay." I responded, nodding. He smirked. "Good". "Good." I said in return.

We just sat there for a while. He asked me about the trip, I answered. It was nice, being near him again. We were friends again. The problem is… I was starting to think that I want us to be more than that.

"I'll get it!!" I shouted, resting the book I was reading on the bed. I walked out of my room, into the living room, towards the entrance. I opened the door.

"Hey!" I greeted, not sounding very excited. "Hey, stranger!" He said, and then he leaned in to kiss me. I didn't kiss him back. I just didn't want to. Dean. Somehow, I just don't see him the same way I did before. He pulled out, shifting uncomfortably in his spot. "Eh, welcome home!" he said, smiling. "Thanks." I smiled back.

"So…" He said, walking pass me, into the house, "How was it?" I turned to follow him. "Not too back." I replied. Surprisingly, It really wasn't that bad. "Hmm." He just said nothing, leaning in to kiss me. I felt nothing. No shivering… no sparks, no… Nothing. It felt so different from the way I felt while kissing Jess. Oh, great, Jess again.

Dean pulled away. "Rory? Are you okay?" he asked, gazing curiously into my eyes. "Yeah" I responded, "Why shouldn't I be?" I added. "I don't know…" He said, planting his hands in his pockets, "You just seem different". "I'm just tired" I lied. "Okay" he said, surrendering. "I think I better go now" he said, a bit irritated. "Okay" I said. He walked back towards the door, letting himself out. "Bye." He said, closing the door behind him. I leaned on the closed door, taking a deep breath.

What's happening to me?