"Meet and Greet"

I've had a pretty tough night, trying to decide what to do and how to do it. The streets of Stars Hollow seemed a bit different, but I guess it's just from where I see it. Since I got back, it seemed like everything is different – Luke's doesn't feel as safe to be at as it was before, I'm falling out of love with my boyfriend, and… I have feelings for him. Him.

He changed it all. He changed life as I Knew it, as I saw it. He changed the way I looked at everything. I just haven't realized it until recently.

I knew I couldn't have him, but I also knew that I couldn't have someone else when I wanted to have him.

That's why I'm here.

I looked up at the road sign in front of me. "16 Peach Street". I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I can do this. I have to do this. I want to do this.

I opened my eyes and started walking slowly towards the front door. I stopped walking as I found myself next to the door. My heartbeats got faster and faster as I lifted my hand, ready to knock on the door. With one deep breath, I did it.

After a few seconds, I heard footsteps. I felt like I was out of breath.

The door opened. He was there.

"Rory!" he called, sounding surprised. "Hey, Dean." I said, looking down at the 'Welcome!' carpet. "What are you doing here?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe. "I just…" I sighed. "I need to talk to you." "What about?" Dean said, shaking his head. Oh-oh. Don't get mad again, please don't get mad again. I peeked inside the house. "Can I come in?" I asked, a bit afraid. "Sure" he gritted through his teeth. Like he always does when he's mad. Great.

I walked inside, marching silently towards the couch. I sat down, trying to calm myself. I have to do this. I have to.

He joined me at the living room and sat on a different couch. The tension was killing me. I wanted to do this but I didn't want to do this. I hate hurting people, but not hurting people always ends up with me hurting myself.

"So." He said, gazing at me, and around, and at me, and around. I stared longingly at the floor, not certain of what to say.

"Rory?" He asked, gazing at me curiously. "Huh?" I looked up. "Oh, sorry." I said, shaking my head. I still kept saying nothing.

Dean sighed. "Okay, do you want to talk or do you want to play the silence game?" I looked up at him. He was already mad. Great. Fantastic.

I took another deep breath. "This is not working." I said. I said it. I finally said it. "What?" Dean asked, sounding confused. "'Us'. 'Us' isn't working."

His eyes widen. I felt like I'm shrinking. "Excuse me?" He asked. I just closed my eyes and sighed. "Rory." He said, irritated. I looked up at him, wishing I could just disappear. "Look, Dean…" I sighed again. I didn't want to sound too direct. I couldn't exactly tell him that I'm falling for Jess.

"I just… We have both changed. And… It's just not working for me anymore". "What do you mean it's not working?" Dean asked, "What has changed?"

I looked up at him. I knew exactly what has changed, but I couldn't tell him. It would seem really stupid, me breaking up from my boyfriend for a guy who is already seeing someone else. But I had to do it. I'm sick of false things.

"A lot has changed, Dean. We changed, 'us' changed. I just don't feel like I want us to be an 'us' anymore." I looked down again. "I'm sorry."

Dean said nothing. He looked down as well, following something imaginary with his eyes. "I better go." I said, standing up. Dean still said nothing. I'm starting to really hate all that silence.

I looked at him one last time before turning around and walking away, out of his house, out of his life. Out of this relationship. I took a deep breath and exhaled, relieved. I did it.

I decided to go to Luke's. A cup of coffee is always good to wash away sorrow. Not that it made me that sad. I mean, it made me sad, but it was certainly over. I knew it. It felt like the right thing to do.

I entered Luke's. I looked around. He wasn't there. I was glad, but I was sad. I wanted to see him, but I wanted to get away.

I started to walk towards the counter while struggling to get a book out of my jacket's inner pocket. I was so focused on trying to get that damn book out that I haven't noticed that I was very close to bumping into someone. Eventually, I did bump into someone. "I'm sor…" I said while looking up. I stopped talking. I just stared.

It was her.

"It's okay." She turned to me and said with a smile. I just nodded, plopping into the stool next to her. I finally managed to pull the book out of my pocket. I opened it and started to read, but it seemed like every word just faded away from my mind. I couldn't concentrate. She was there. Sitting next to me. She was there, sitting next to me! I closed the book and slammed it on the counter. I think I slammed it too hard, because she turned to me just as I did. "Whoa, easy there." She said, laughing. "Sorry…" I said, frustrated. "I'm just in a serious need of coffee," I continued. "Yeah, me too." She said, still smiling. I faked a smile and turned, nervously tapping my fingers on the counter.

"Hey, you know what the time is?" I turned to look at her with a 'What?' glare. "My boyfriend said he'll be down here by 6." She said. Boyfriend. God, how much do I have hearing that word coming out of her mouth. How much do I want to be out of here. I just said "Oh" in return and looked at my watch. "It's 6:08". "Thanks" she said in return and turned to look into an empty coffee cup. I pulled a napkin out of the napkin holder and started tearing it up, piece by piece. I was so… So! Jess's igirlfriend/i was sitting on a stool next to me, waiting for her iboyfriend/i - The guy I… You know - To arrive.

Maybe I should just get up and leave. I should just get up and leave. I will just get up and live. I ran a hand through my hair, accidentally sending the napkin holder down to the floor with my elbow. I sighed and bended down, trying to track it with my hand. As I finally found it, I heard him. Crap. He's here. Not that it's a bad thing… But when she's here, it's a bad thing.

"Hey" I heard him say. I frowned. When I rose back up, they were kissing. Again. And again, I wanted to die. A horrible death. Tie me up to a tree and smack me with a baboon kind of death. I hated it. It hurt. It seemed like they don't even know I'm here! Well, actually, Jess doesn't, and Kara doesn't know who I am… But still, this was so insensitive. I mean, yeah, sure. Take my heart. Step on it. Jump on it. Dance the Cha-cha on it and leave it to bleed. I don't mind.

I put the napkin holder back on the counter. I actually kind of slammed the holder on the counter, trying to get their attention. And I succeeded.

Jess broke the kiss as he heard the loud noise. He looked at me, a bit surprised, as I interfered with a mocking, irritated smile.

"Rory!" he said, running his hand across his mouth, wiping off some lipstick. Kara looked at him, then at me. "Rory? Who's Rory?"

Well, hi, I'm right here. "You know Rory. The friend I told you about." He smiled at me, a bit embarrassed. He told her about me? That's nice!

"Oh, right! The book worm!" She said. Okay, that's not so nice. I glanced at her. She must think she's so smart. Bah. I hate her. "Yeah." I said, faking another smile.

"What are you doing here?" Jess asked. "Coffee." I said. He knows what I'm doing here. He never asks me what I'm doing here. He doesn't need to ask what I'm doing here. I frowned ago. I got to get out of here. "To go." I added, a bit harshly. He filled up a to-go cup and handed it to me. "Here." He said. I picked my pocket for money. All I could find were 2 dollar bills. I threw the money on the counter as I picked the cup of coffee, and then grabbed the book with my free hand. "Have a nice day." I said as I turned and walked away.

It was a boring walk home. I stuffed the book back in my pocket. I didn't even touch the coffee. Not the slightest sip. I just didn't feel like it.

As I got home, I placed everything I held on the table and walked to the living room. I took off my jacket and threw it on the table, then just collapsed on the couch.

That was a nice experience. I sighed. Why did I behave that way? That's not like me. Am I changing? Have I already changed? Or am I just about to change?

He has to know.