"Like Rain, Like Rain"

I like rain. Rain is nice. It's wet and cold, but it's nice.

I remember times when I took a walk in the rain. Just me and a coat. I usually take a book with me when I go to walks, but when I walk in the rain, I leave my books at home, where it's safe.

A few days had passed.

I'm single again. It's not much fun. I was alone. Well, not 'alone' alone, but I was alone in the romantic term of alone.

I was taking a walk in the rain. It was dark outside. The streets of Stars Hollow were almost empty. It was so quiet. I looked at the ground as I walked. I don't know why, but I love seeing how the raindrops clash with the ground. There's something fascinating in the way they split into small puddles and join other drops… Then they just stream away.

Am I bored or what?

I take a walk when I need to think. When I need to clear my mind. But I don't want to think. And actually, I don't really want to clear my mind. I just want to take a walk in the rain. I want to try not to think of him. Oh, great. Does that count as a thought?

Who am I kidding? I can't stop thinking about him.

"Fancy seeing you here."

I turned around. He was there. He was smiling. He looked so good under the streetlights. His hair was wet. It was a bit funny, seeing his hair wet. I think my breath stopped. It did. I hurried and took a deep breath. I can't even control my breaths anymore.

I stopped walking and smiled back. "Why is that?" I asked. He caught up with me, as he was walking behind me before. Side by side, we kept on walking.

"Well, it's not safe for girls like you to walk alone at nights." He said, smirking. I smirked at the comment. "In Stars Hollow?" I responded. "You never know." He replied. We kept walking, enjoying the silence. "Umbrella?" He said as he took an umbrella out of his back pocket. "No thanks." I like rain. Oh, you know that already. I looked at him, smiling curiously. "Why don't you use it?" I asked him. He shrugged. "I like rain." He said. I smiled in reply. We continued with the silence-walking routine.

"Hey, umm…" He suddenly broke the oh-so-lovely silence, "That day at the diner…"

That day at the diner? What about that day at the diner? Oh… that day at the diner. I looked at him. I wondered what he'd say, what about. Oh god! Maybe he realized that I… Oh my.

"I'm sorry about the whole…" He kept talking, then stopped to take a deep breath. "We're working on our people skills." I sighed in relief. He gave me a curious glance. "Good." I just said, faking yet another smile. I still hate everything about that girl. She's too lucky.

"How're you and Frankenstein doing?" he asked me. I raised an eyebrow. "Frankenstein?" Oh. "Dean" I said. He nodded.

"We broke up." I said, trying not to sound too excited. He raised an eyebrow as well. "You broke up?" he asked. "We broke up." I said in reply. "Huh" he just said.

I looked at him. He smiled again. I just wanted to grab him and kiss him. Again.

I had to tell him.

"There's something I need to tell you." I said, looking back at the ground. "I'm listening." He said, looking at the ground again. "Can we sit first?" I asked, looking at him from the corner of my eye. He looked up and nodded, turning the other way. "Where are you going?" I asked him. "Where else?" he replied. Oh. I turned and followed him.

A few minutes later, we were there. The bridge. He sat down. I did the same.

The formerly pouring rain is now just casually dropping raindrops.

"Please don't be upset." I said, letting out a small breath. "Why would I be upset?" he asked. "Because of what I'm about to tell you." I said, sending him a quick glance.

"Why would I be upset because of what you're about to tell me?" He asked again, raising an eyebrow. I took a deep breath.

"Sookie's wedding…" "Oh." He said, cutting in. "The kiss." I said. He looked at me. "I thought we already talked about this." He said, softly. I sighed.

Why am I doing this? Why am I telling him? It wouldn't matter anyway. He has that strange Kara girl. But I started with it. I have to continue with it.

I sighed. I looked at the pond. Maybe he'll be upset and push me in. It's cathartic, I hear.

I took another deep breath. "It meant something." I said, quietly. "What?" he said, sounding confused. I looked up at him. "The kiss. It meant something to me".

His jaw dropped a little. "Wow." He said. He gazed down. I just inhaled. We sat there in silence for a few minutes.

"Couldn't you say something a bit earlier?" he asked, looking at me. "Jess…" I started talking as he continued. "We could've worked with that". I frowned. He was right. If only I knew how I really felt about him before I left, if only I told him how I really felt about him before I left, we might've been together now. But I didn't know.

"I didn't know." I said. "You didn't know?" He asked. "It took a while to figure out." I said. And it's a darn shame that it did.

He leaned his head backwards. We sat in silence again.

"What am I supposed to say?" He suddenly asked, looking at me. "Say what you think." I replied. He sighed. He was silent for a while. I didn't hate it as much as I did before. This silence did me some good.

"Do you expect that heart-to-heart bit to change things?" he asked. I wish. I shook my head. "I don't know." I said. He nodded.

I wonder if it will.

Silence again. I faked a glance at my watch. "I better go," I said, "It's late". "It is," he said. I looked at him. He didn't move. I got up and started to walk away.

That went well. I sighed. At least I told him how I really feel. Honesty's always a plus. I just hope we won't get 'awkward' again. I was off the bridge now. I looked back at him. He was still at that same position. I turned away and kept walking. By now, it has started raining again. I followed the raindrops as the trailed off the ground.

I like rain.

I went to Luke's at the next morning. Alone. Mom was too tired to join me. He wasn't there.

I was wondering. Wondering if he thought about me. Wondering if he thought about it. Wondering if things have changed.

Luke came up to me, placing two cups of coffee on the counter. "Here you go." He said, turning back to take another plate which he handed to Ceaser as he walked by. "Thanks, Luke" I said, taking the 1 cup in each hand.

Just as I did, I heard a laugh. I looked up. It was him.

And her. They went in the diner through the curtain that keeps the diner separated from Luke and Jess's apartment. They were holding hands. They were laughing.

I looked up at them. So, that's what changed? Nothing?!

He glanced at me. He stopped laughing. Nice of him to notice me. He opened his mouth, probably in order to speak.

But I didn't let him. I shook my head in disbelief and turned to leave. I walked out the door of the diner, wanting to just break down and cry. I thought things would change. But nothing did change. The only thing that is any different is that now, I feel even worse than I did before.