Note:

Umm… Hi. Uh, thanks for the feedback and everything, I love reading it, it totally makes my day :D

I just wanted to thank my dirty fellow Dodgers for inspiring me with the good cop, bad cop thingie at the beginning. You guys are the best ;)

If this is a bit too rushed, blame Kate ;) And yes, hun, I'll try finishing chapter 8 early as well ;)

-

"Fear of Falling"

"So, anyway, he was like 'Put the pretzels down, young lady, and no one will get hurt!' So I turned to him and said 'Hey, You wanna play good cop, bad cop?'"

Mom and me were at the diner. He wasn't there. He wasn't there and I was happy that he wasn't. I looked out the window, focusing on nothing. Mom just babbled. I wasn't really listening to her, but I noticed the way she spoke in those annoying voices when she quoted people. I hate it when people do that. It's disrespectful. Low. Shallow. Oh, what a coincidence, that's what my mom is. I kept looking at nothing.

"And he was so angry, he actually started chasing me with a large… Cabbage… thing in one hand and a strange scissor-like cabbage cutter thing in his other hands and he was like 'someone should teach you manners, young lady!' and I was like 'Oh, yeah? Right back at ya, Ed!' And even though "Edward Scissorhands" shell not be laughed at, I found it right, at that moment, to mention it in order to cause havoc."

How could he do that to me? I told him how I feel, how I really feel, and he does nothing about it. Nothing. How can a person be so insensitive?

"Rory?" Mom asked. I kept staring at nothing. She tapped on my shoulder, causing me to jump in my place. I stopped staring at nothing and looked at mom. "Huh?" I asked. She smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Am I right?" she asked me. "Umm, totally." I replied. What are we talking about again?

"Have you even listened to what I was saying?" She asked. Her smile was half gone, but the brow was kept up. "Umm, no." I said, looking down at my coffee. Mom sighed. I looked up at her with a slight smile on my lips. "But the Taylor imitation was really good". Mom was about to speak as he came to our table. I automatically gazed down into my coffee cup, trying to avoid him. How did he get here? He wasn't in here before.

"Refill?" he asked. "Uhh, sure." Mom replied. I glanced at her. She glanced at me. I glanced back down at the cup. He filled mom's cup. I can feel his eyes on me. He took my cup. I bet he could tell that I was staring at it. I rolled my eyes at him, giving him a short, irritated gaze. He filled the cup and placed it where it was before. Then he walked away. I lifted my head, just to see mom gazing at me.

"What was that about?" she asked. "Nothing!" I replied, obviously lying. I looked away, avoiding meeting her eyes. "Have you talked to him?" she asked, just before taking a sip from her coffee. I sighed, looking back at her. "I told him how I feel". Mom's eyes widen. "Wow." "That's what he said." I said in reply, following mysterious swirls inside that coffee cup of mine.

"What else did he say?" mom asked, sounding curious. "Nothing much." I said with a somewhat pouty expression. "He kinda asked me why I didn't tell him earlier." "Hmm." Mom hummed. "I told him that I didn't know." "Hmm." Mom hummed. "He asked me if I expect it to change things." "Hmm." Mom hummed. "And he's still with that Kara girl!" "Hmm." Mom hummed. "Stop humming!" I said, hitting the table with my palms. Mom was quiet for a moment. Probably thinking. Why is she thinking? I'm supposed to be the one who's thinking.

"You wanted things to change." Mom said. I nodded, adding a weak, agreeing "Yeah" to it. Mom lowered her head and nodded. "When Jess told you how he felt before you went to Washington… Don't you think he wanted things to change as well?" she said, looking into my eyes. I gazed down. Oh god! He's doing the same thing I did to him!

He sort of told me that it did mean something to him. He told me before I left.

But before I left, I didn't know how I really feel about him! But he still wanted things to change. I didn't even tell him that I'm leaving!

Mom glanced at her watch. "It's 7:18, sweets. We better get going." "Yeah…" I replied, taking one last sip from my coffee. We got up, took our stuff, and started walking towards the door. I sent him a short glance. A short, soft but harsh glance. It was my fault that nothing is changed. My fault.

It was about 4 pm. I got back from school just a few minutes ago. I hardly listened to anything in the lessons. I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was the way I screwed things up for myself. For us.

Who cares about math or English lit when you know you screwed up your chance to be with someone you care about? Alright, someone you love.

I sighed as I walked over to the kitchen. Fortunately, there was still some coffee left in the pot. I poured some coffee in the filter and turned the machine on. All I have to do is wait.

The house was too quiet. I was home alone, as mom's still at the inn. I don't want to think about him anymore. It's not good for my health.

I plopped into a chair near the kitchen table. I looked around and sighed.

I looked around again. I spotted a book lying on the floor in the corner of the room. I got up and walked towards it. I picked it up, as I was close enough. "The Children's Hour". No wonder it's on the floor, it's mom's. I remember when I bought it for her. I was with him.

I like hanging around with him. Sometimes I wish that all of that craziness would just go away, that we could be just friends again. No strange feelings involved. But more than that, I wished that we could be together.

I took the book with me to the table and plopped down again. I opened the book and started reading.

Knock on the door. Knock, knock, knock-knock, knock, knock-knock.

"Just a second!" I shouted. I turned the book upside down, got up and walked towards the door. I twisted the doorknob and opened the door.

Him.

"Hey." He said, his hands in his pockets. He gazed around, trying to avoid meeting my eyes. "Hi." I replied, avoiding meeting with his eyes. Both of us, trying to avoid each other. Hurray. I stepped back.

"Come in" I said. He came in, his hands still in his pockets. I closed the door and followed him to the living room. We just stood there, quiet again.

"Are you mad at me?" He suddenly asked, gazing up at me. I sighed. I frowned. It was a sigh mixed with a frown. A frowning sigh, rather. He nodded. "You're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you." I responded. "Well, I'm… Slightly mad at you" I said, scanning the floor. "I…" He started, looking up at me. "I know you want things to change. But it's not that easy." I nodded and took a deep breath. It could be easy. But it's not.

"Did you want things to change?" I asked him. He raised an eyebrow confused. "After I… We…" I sighed. "After the kiss. Did you want things to change?" I asked, lightly biting my lower lip. He shrugged. "Can you blame me?" he asked me. I shook my head. He nodded.

"Rory, I…" He started to say, taking his hands out of his pockets. "I really care about you." I looked away. He cares about me. That's it. Great.

"Than why are you acting like this?" I suddenly said. Where did that come from? "Like what?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. I took a deep breath. "You say that you care about me, but when I'm around you, I just keep getting hurt!" "Rory, -" he tried to protest, but I didn't let him. "I tell you how I feel about you and you do nothing about it!" I said as I started to get a bit mad. "When I told you how I felt, when I told you that the kiss meant something to me, you didn't change anything. Don't you think I was hurt as well?" He asked, changing his tone to match with mine. "I didn't know I felt that way about you!" I shouted in protest. "That's not a reason to hurt a person!" He said. I shook my head. "I told you how I felt, how I still feel, and you just came in the diner with that girlfriend of yours. You're breaking my heart all over again!" I said, loud. Tears started forming in my eyes, but I didn't let them come out. "Rory," He tried to speak again, and again, I didn't let him. "Are you trying to play with my feelings? Because, let me tell you, you're doing a pretty good job!" I said, finally letting the tears stream out. He looked upset. Mad, rather. "I'm not trying to play with your feelings, Rory! I love you, I'll never do that!"

I stopped at my place. My heart started beating like a sledgehammer. I looked at him, shocked. "What?" I asked, my words hardly hearable. "You want me to repeat that?" He asked cynically. "Yes." I announced. He took a breath.

"I'm not trying to play with your feelings. I'll never try to hurt you." He said, softly. I shook my head, closing my eyes. "What you said after…" I said. He looked kind of shocked. "Oh." He just said. We both shifted uncomfortably in out spots, quiet.

"I gotta go." He said, walking towards the door. "Jess!" I called, but he was already out. I took a deep breath.

Whoa. He just said that he loves me. Did he mean it?

I shook my head, walking towards my room.

I'll find out.