"You shall all fight separately," the Master Hand continued, "With the exception of the Ice Climbers, who do not have sufficient experience fighting alone. They shall thus be allowed to join their forces." Popo and Nana shot quick glances of relief at one another.
"You shall fight in arenas of my own creation, which shall be based on locations from your homelands. However, they will not be exact duplicates. Some of the geography shall have changed, and I may throw in extra hazards to make the fights more interesting." The glove laughed, a long deep laugh that chilled even Bowser.
"Also, at random I shall materialize items into the arena that can be used to aid a combatant. A few of you may recognize some of the items, while some none of you will have seen before. As to what each of them can do, I'll let you find out on your own."
"What are we fighting to?" asked Fox. "To the death, or just the defeat?"
"I have no wish for you to die. Then I'd have to fetch replacement warriors, which would be irritating. The fights will work like this: When I place you in the arenas, I will designate boundaries in each. They will be easily recognizable. The goal of the fight is to throw your opponent or opponents beyond the boundaries. When someone goes beyond, they are KO'd. When there is only one combatant left standing, they are declared the winner and the fight is over. Now, just a few last things to take care of."
The Master Hand snapped its fingers again, and Fox, Samus, and Link suddenly began to float, until they were only a few inches from the glove itself.
"Because the non-lethal rule is in effect, each of you requires an adjustment to your weapons. Fox McCloud, your blaster and the experimental weaponry from the Cornerian Armed Forces will not kill, only wound. Samus Aran, the same is true of your Charge Shot and missiles. As well as of your Master Sword, Link. I shall restore them all to their normal state when the fights are all concluded and I allow you to return home."
"When's that gonna be, huh?" Bowser asked, snarling as the three warriors were lowered back to the Final Destination. "If I don't get back soon, my kids are gonna ruin my kingdom!"
"Have no fear. I shall return you to the exact point in time you left."
"But how long are we gonna BE here?"
If the Master Hand had possessed a mouth, it surely would have been grinning nastily. "As long as I wish."
"No one treats the King of the Koopas that way!"
"No one save me. And now, it is time to choose the combatants for the first fight." A beam of white light erupted from its index finger and fell on Mario, much like a spotlight. Then it moved to Bowser. It moved from fighter to fighter at high speeds, seemingly random. After a while, it began to slow down. Finally, it stopped.
"The first fighter is Princess Peach Toadstool!" announced the glove, which used its mysterious powers to lift her into the air. The 'spotlight' went through the process again.
"The second fighter is Donkey Kong!" The ape was hoisted alongside her.
"And the location of the fight shall be...Onett!" Ness gasped. Beside the Hand, another picture (or is it another window in space-time?) appeared, displaying the field of battle. Peach and Donkey Kong disappeared.
"Now, let us watch the battle..."
***
The two materialized in Onett. Looking around, they saw what appeared to be a small suburban town, with houses painted bright pastel colors (two of which they were currently inbetween). There were trees dotting the paved streets, and poles with flags stretched between them. The perfect picture of a quiet little town.
It also looked like the perfect setting for a Stephen King novel, though of course neither of them knew anything about American authors.
Fifty feet above them, in the sky, was a horizontal red line that stretched as far as the eye could see. And about fifty feet away on either side of them, were vertical red lines. The boundaries.
"Guess we'd better do this," said Donkey Kong, wishing he had a banana or twenty to eat to get his energy up.
"Guess so," agreed Peach, silently registering her amazement that the ape could talk. "Good luck."
"You too." He hurled himself at her, but the princess simply leaped into the air and kicked him in the face with a high-heeled foot on her way down. Remembering the self-defense lessons Mario had given her, she took the offensive, throwing three lightning-fast punches at the gorilla's midsection before he could react.
When he DID react, he grabbed her with his massive hands and hurled her onto the rooftop of one of the houses, knocking the wind out of her. Using his powerful leg muscles, Donkey Kong leapt up after her, but Peach dropped back to the ground, rolling when she hit.
She couldn't play his game and expect to win, she realized. Her quickness wouldn't balance out his superior strength.
She'd have to use magic.
Before her opponent could react, she utilized a spell that had been inspired by her visit to Subcon several years ago. She placed her hand a few inches above the ground. A tuft of grass appeared. She pulled on it, and yanked out of the ground a large turnip wearing a smiley face expression.
"Ok," said Donkey Kong from the rooftop, "I'll admit that's new. What're you gonna do with that thing?"
"This!"
She threw the turnip straight up with all of her might. It slammed into the ape's head, causing him to lose his balance and fall. Peach was there when he landed, delivering a kick to the back of his head. Blinking away the stars that had suddenly appeared, Donkey Kong stood up and delivered a powerful punch, one that knocked the princess back several feet and into the wall of one of the houses.
As she rose and wiped the dirt off her face, they both heard a small 'ting' noise, the kind made in movies when light reflects off of the hero's perfectly white teeth.
Something had materialized on top of one of the trees. It was a small metal cylinder, with a small pink blade sticking out of it.
One of the items the Master Hand had mentioned.
The two warriors cast sideways glances at one another, then began a desperate race. Donkey Kong jumped onto the top of the nearest house. Peach merely leapt into the air and used another magical ability to hover over to the tree in a jiffy, snagging the sword. As she did so, the blade extended by a foot.
She dropped off the tree to engage the ape, swinging the blade as she fell. A panicked Donkey Kong hurriedly got out of her way as she advanced, twirling the sword with every step, leaving trails of light in the air; as a princess, she had of course practiced with swords before.
By now, Donkey Kong had climbed to the top of one of the telephone poles. And Peach formed a plan.
She hovered to the roof nearest him, and began to cut at the pole with her blade, carving out huge chunks of wood. Realizing it would soon collapse, Donkey Kong dropped down to attack. In one fluid motion, she hurled the blade away, grabbed the falling ape, and threw him, adding his own momentum to the throw.
Threw him behind her. Beyond the boundary.
Donkey Kong vanished in a huge blast of light and stars.
***
"And the winner is Princess Peach Toadstool!"
"You shall fight in arenas of my own creation, which shall be based on locations from your homelands. However, they will not be exact duplicates. Some of the geography shall have changed, and I may throw in extra hazards to make the fights more interesting." The glove laughed, a long deep laugh that chilled even Bowser.
"Also, at random I shall materialize items into the arena that can be used to aid a combatant. A few of you may recognize some of the items, while some none of you will have seen before. As to what each of them can do, I'll let you find out on your own."
"What are we fighting to?" asked Fox. "To the death, or just the defeat?"
"I have no wish for you to die. Then I'd have to fetch replacement warriors, which would be irritating. The fights will work like this: When I place you in the arenas, I will designate boundaries in each. They will be easily recognizable. The goal of the fight is to throw your opponent or opponents beyond the boundaries. When someone goes beyond, they are KO'd. When there is only one combatant left standing, they are declared the winner and the fight is over. Now, just a few last things to take care of."
The Master Hand snapped its fingers again, and Fox, Samus, and Link suddenly began to float, until they were only a few inches from the glove itself.
"Because the non-lethal rule is in effect, each of you requires an adjustment to your weapons. Fox McCloud, your blaster and the experimental weaponry from the Cornerian Armed Forces will not kill, only wound. Samus Aran, the same is true of your Charge Shot and missiles. As well as of your Master Sword, Link. I shall restore them all to their normal state when the fights are all concluded and I allow you to return home."
"When's that gonna be, huh?" Bowser asked, snarling as the three warriors were lowered back to the Final Destination. "If I don't get back soon, my kids are gonna ruin my kingdom!"
"Have no fear. I shall return you to the exact point in time you left."
"But how long are we gonna BE here?"
If the Master Hand had possessed a mouth, it surely would have been grinning nastily. "As long as I wish."
"No one treats the King of the Koopas that way!"
"No one save me. And now, it is time to choose the combatants for the first fight." A beam of white light erupted from its index finger and fell on Mario, much like a spotlight. Then it moved to Bowser. It moved from fighter to fighter at high speeds, seemingly random. After a while, it began to slow down. Finally, it stopped.
"The first fighter is Princess Peach Toadstool!" announced the glove, which used its mysterious powers to lift her into the air. The 'spotlight' went through the process again.
"The second fighter is Donkey Kong!" The ape was hoisted alongside her.
"And the location of the fight shall be...Onett!" Ness gasped. Beside the Hand, another picture (or is it another window in space-time?) appeared, displaying the field of battle. Peach and Donkey Kong disappeared.
"Now, let us watch the battle..."
***
The two materialized in Onett. Looking around, they saw what appeared to be a small suburban town, with houses painted bright pastel colors (two of which they were currently inbetween). There were trees dotting the paved streets, and poles with flags stretched between them. The perfect picture of a quiet little town.
It also looked like the perfect setting for a Stephen King novel, though of course neither of them knew anything about American authors.
Fifty feet above them, in the sky, was a horizontal red line that stretched as far as the eye could see. And about fifty feet away on either side of them, were vertical red lines. The boundaries.
"Guess we'd better do this," said Donkey Kong, wishing he had a banana or twenty to eat to get his energy up.
"Guess so," agreed Peach, silently registering her amazement that the ape could talk. "Good luck."
"You too." He hurled himself at her, but the princess simply leaped into the air and kicked him in the face with a high-heeled foot on her way down. Remembering the self-defense lessons Mario had given her, she took the offensive, throwing three lightning-fast punches at the gorilla's midsection before he could react.
When he DID react, he grabbed her with his massive hands and hurled her onto the rooftop of one of the houses, knocking the wind out of her. Using his powerful leg muscles, Donkey Kong leapt up after her, but Peach dropped back to the ground, rolling when she hit.
She couldn't play his game and expect to win, she realized. Her quickness wouldn't balance out his superior strength.
She'd have to use magic.
Before her opponent could react, she utilized a spell that had been inspired by her visit to Subcon several years ago. She placed her hand a few inches above the ground. A tuft of grass appeared. She pulled on it, and yanked out of the ground a large turnip wearing a smiley face expression.
"Ok," said Donkey Kong from the rooftop, "I'll admit that's new. What're you gonna do with that thing?"
"This!"
She threw the turnip straight up with all of her might. It slammed into the ape's head, causing him to lose his balance and fall. Peach was there when he landed, delivering a kick to the back of his head. Blinking away the stars that had suddenly appeared, Donkey Kong stood up and delivered a powerful punch, one that knocked the princess back several feet and into the wall of one of the houses.
As she rose and wiped the dirt off her face, they both heard a small 'ting' noise, the kind made in movies when light reflects off of the hero's perfectly white teeth.
Something had materialized on top of one of the trees. It was a small metal cylinder, with a small pink blade sticking out of it.
One of the items the Master Hand had mentioned.
The two warriors cast sideways glances at one another, then began a desperate race. Donkey Kong jumped onto the top of the nearest house. Peach merely leapt into the air and used another magical ability to hover over to the tree in a jiffy, snagging the sword. As she did so, the blade extended by a foot.
She dropped off the tree to engage the ape, swinging the blade as she fell. A panicked Donkey Kong hurriedly got out of her way as she advanced, twirling the sword with every step, leaving trails of light in the air; as a princess, she had of course practiced with swords before.
By now, Donkey Kong had climbed to the top of one of the telephone poles. And Peach formed a plan.
She hovered to the roof nearest him, and began to cut at the pole with her blade, carving out huge chunks of wood. Realizing it would soon collapse, Donkey Kong dropped down to attack. In one fluid motion, she hurled the blade away, grabbed the falling ape, and threw him, adding his own momentum to the throw.
Threw him behind her. Beyond the boundary.
Donkey Kong vanished in a huge blast of light and stars.
***
"And the winner is Princess Peach Toadstool!"