Or... (Dear Lord...)
Everyone is in the Lone Gunmen's Hideout. (Specifically Scully, Mulder and the Lone Gunmen.) Frohicke is feeling down in the dumps because Scully still won't go out with him.
Frohicke (F) - Why won't you go out with me Scully?
S - Because you are a stupid, insolent BASTARD! Leave ME ALONE!!
F (sulky) - That's not nice.
S - So I don't care about being nice.
F - Well, fine. If you won't go out with me I'll settle for the next best thing.....
S - And who would that be?
Frohicke creeps closer to Langly, Byers and Mulder.
F - Oh Mulder!!!!!!!!!
Scully holds an explosive laugh.
M - Huh??? What's happening?
F - Mulder? Will you..... um..... go out with..... um..... me?
Scully falls onto the computer laughing and it breaks. Langly and Byers are piping, red hot mad.
Langly and Byers (unison) - SCULLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? THAT STUFF COST OVER $20,000!!!!!
S (laughing) - Who cares about the damn computer!!! It's your associate you should be worried about! After all you two are men, aren't you? After all, if he is gay that could cause some serious work problems.
-Meanwhile-
Mulder is curled up in a ball in the corner fending Frohicke off with a pen.
M - Back Frohicke, back. Down boy! Bad dog!!
F - I want you Mulder. And you want me too. I can tell. It has been hell for both of us, being so alone. We need each other.
M (desperately) - BBBBBBBBBBBBut.................... I'm not alone.... Uh.... I'm married to Scully. Yeah that's it!
S - Huh???
Mulder gives her his puppy dog eyes.
S - Oh yeah!!!
Scully flings herself on Mulder. They passionately kiss.
F (sad, distraught) - Why didn't you tell me?
M - It was so exciting seeing you hit on her, that we didn't want to ruin the fun.
F - Can't we have a threesome?
Scully slaps Frohicke.
F - It was just an idea.
M (huskily) - I think it was a good idea.
Scully slaps Frohicke and Mulder.
S - Frohicke that was for suggesting it....
F - But you already slapped me for saying that.
S - Too bad. And Mulder that was for agreeing with him!
M (rubbing where she slapped him) - I was just joking!!
S - So what! You still agreed.
F - So it's all set then. We are a threesome.
Langly and Byers just staring incredulously as this is all going on.
S ( in a very pissed off manner) - Come on Mulder!! Let's go! (Then suggestively) WE have business to attend to.
Mulder grins stupidly. He straightens his tie and lifts an eyebrow at Frohicke.
Frohicke is steaming mad.
S - Come ON FOX!!!! Hurry up! I CAN'T wait any longer.
They walk out of the building. Behind them you hear...........................
F (heartbroken) - NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!