Scene Five

Spike is sitting on Buffy's back porch, sobbing.

SPIKE: I'm so confused. I know I wanted to get this soul for Buffy...but now I don't even want to be near her, I really am beneath her. Plus, I thought that this episode would give me the chance to look back at my life and begin to heal...no such luck.

Enter Buffy, who promptly sits on the back porch and awkwardly puts her hand on Spike's back.

BUFFY: It's okay...sometimes we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good of the show. Sometimes you just have to accept that someone else's story will take up more time than yours.

SPIKE: Yeah, but you'd think that they'd want to focus on the stories people have been stressing over for four months.

BUFFY: I know that sometimes the world is hard Spike. But, it will get better eventually. I could take you to our local botanical graveyard tomorrow night!

SPIKE: Bloody Hell!

BUFFY: What?

SPIKE: It's just...no one seems to care, Buffy. And I'm miserable and eeevil.

BUFFY: We already knew that.

A pause.

BUFFY: Spike? I do care. Of course I care.

Buffy gets up to go into her house.

SPIKE: That's it? You tell me you care and then leave?!?

BUFFY: Well, I can't very well just fall into your arms. That can't happen until February sweeps! And, anyways, I am totally emotionally incapable of loving anyone!

SPIKE: So, I guess that makes sense. You should hate me anyways, what I've done to you.

BUFFY: Well, the writers certainly think so. I myself still wanted to know when you'd be coming home.

SPIKE: Why?

BUFFY: This conversation is NOT okay! We still don't know how to make the two of us forgive each other without making it look like we're blaming the victim!

SPIKE: Great.

Glory, Warren, and Faith enter.

GLORY, WARREN, FAITH: Wassup?

The three exit.

SPIKE: What the bloody hell was that?

BUFFY: The theme for the year.

SPIKE: Which is?

BUFFY: I have no clue. Well, gotta go tuck Dawn in!

She exits.

SPIKE: What do I keep coming back here?

Enter Clem for non apparent reason.

CLEM: Because you love her.

SPIKE: Yep. No clue why though.

CLEM: Yeah, but who know why anyone does the things they do on this show?

They exit, laughing at their eeevil existences on their way to watch The Parent Trap.