Falling
by Jae-chan
Story
Stats
Rated: PG
Started: 9/9/2001
Genre: Angst/Romance and not to mention a slight A/U
Pairing: Chichi/Goku
Setting: Well after Goku dies the last time. Chichi is in her late sixties.
Random Note #1: I'm having Goku constantly in his Super Saiyajin form.
Random Note #2: I know that in the series they said that only great warriors
kept their bodies...but I'm just going to pretend that never happened. I'm also
pretending Goku didn't go poof after he merged or whatever with the Eternal
Dragon. That way...my story works. ^^; We'll just say only great warriors get
to train at the Grand Kai's place. I'll base the general heaven more on what
they had in the movie What Dreams May Come and hell will be the
equivalent to what it was in the series. You won't see much of this until later
on in the story, but I just thought you should know that I'm not sticking to
the exact facts.
***
Chapter
3: Under the Blanket of Darkness
"This is how it will work, Goku, so you
have to listen to me carefully." King Kai said, watching his former student.
Goku had been perfectly serious for more than half an hour, which was an
unusual sight for King Kai. Every time he saw Goku there was that childish
innocence to him, even though he could see the Saiyajin's mysterious
intelligence shine through every so often. Now that Goku seemed to have lost
that innocence completely (at least for the time being) King Kai was worried.
"Since you and your wife seem to be bonded
at the soul, getting through to her maybe easier than I first thought. HOWEVER,
that doesn't mean she'll have to believe that it's you in her head or that
she'll want to listen to you. The best times to see Chichi are when she is
asleep. If Chichi becomes used to your presence within her mind, then you may
be able to talk to her during her waking hours-"
"How does she get used to me?" Goku asked,
his blue gaze searching Kai's for answers.
"Quiet, I'm not done yet!" King Kai
snapped, "There's getting used to in a bad sense and a good sense. The Bad
Sense would be that she starts to think she's going insane. Therefore she might
actually go crazy. The Good Sense would be that she just accepts that you have
a link to her.
Getting used to you is going to be
difficult. You'll have to be with her constantly, but you won't be able to
speak to her at first. While she's awake anyway. If you want her to get used to
having your presence in her head, you'll have to be there with Chichi all of
the time. Then when you finally talk to her while she's awake it won't seem
so...weird."
"Okay, I get it." Goku said, nodding
solemnly, "But how do I 'link' to her?"
"You don't link. I link and you go
through. Think of it as a doorway to your wife's mind. Once you're in, then you
just settle down. You'll begin to understand more when you are in Chichi's
thoughts. The thing you must remember is to not lose yourself. Remember that
you are not apart of the mortal world anymore and that you can only persuade.
You can't change anything on your own." King Kai placed his hand on Goku's
shoulder, "Whatever happens you can't stop it unless Chichi wants to."
Goku's fist clenched and unclenched before
his shoulders relaxed under King Kai's hand. His old sensei was right; he
couldn't let emotions get to him so much that he was blinded. If he wanted to
help Chichi, he knew that he'd have to do it carefully. The last thing Goku
would be able to bear would be knowing that he ruined his wife's mental state
towards the end of her life.
"Are you ready?" King Kai asked quietly.
"Yeah, as much as I can be. What do I have
to do?" Goku looked up at King Kai, curiosity creeping back into his features
to mix with determination.
King Kai pointed to the mat in the middle
of his living room floor and Goku quickly picked up on the hint. The blond
warrior got up from his seat at the table to sit on the ground. Naturally
taking a meditative position, Goku looked up at King Kai for his next
instruction, obviously wanting to get into this as fast as possible.
"You're lucky that Chichi happens to be
sleeping, or else we wouldn't be moving at your pace," King Kai grumbled,
"Alright. Now try to concentrate on the piece of you that is connected to your
wife and center all of your energy on that bond. You should feel almost as if
you are intertwined with someone else...do you?"
Goku didn't respond for a few moments, his
head lost in the sudden haze of emotions that had stormed his mind, and it took
a bit of fighting for him to recognize himself again. While warmth radiated
from the bond Goku had brushed with his mind, Goku had managed to feel sorrow,
fear, loneliness and strength mixed with that warmth and all of his own
emotions.
*Wow...I never realized how strong that
was until I really focused on it. I bet Chichi doesn't even know it exists...*
"Goku?!" King Kai exclaimed, poking the
Saiyajin hard.
"Hai. Gomen, it took me a few seconds. Now
what?" Goku asked, out of breath.
"Close your eyes and hang on to that bond.
I'll get you in. Hold on to your hat..." King Kai trailed off as his antennas
began to glow faintly.
Goku cracked an eye open to look at King
Kai and a confused frown touched his lips. "Hat? Was I supposed to be wearing a
hat?" he asked.
King Kai sighed as he shook his
head...there was the guy everyone knew and loved. "No Goku. Never mind. Just
concentrate."
***
Chichi crossed her arms tightly over her
chest as she slept, for the fiery pain within her did not dissipate even in her
dreams. Sometimes silent tears would run down her cheeks through the night, but
that was only because she wasn't awake to stop them. Her dreams were blank
tonight, memories not haunting her because of the pain she was in, and her mind
took a depressed repose in that black abyss of unconsciousness.
Within her mind, Chichi sat alone on a
single black stool. In her dreams she still held her youth, but she lacked the
innocent eyes she once had to the world. Her midnight gaze reflected the
experience of an old woman and her posture showed the strength she held herself
with. In this dark void, Chichi's appearance was much more relaxed as well. Her
obsidian strands were long and flowed down her back and she wore a simple white
housedress with a neckline that dipped below her collarbone. One would never
see Chichi dressed as she was now in the real world. The only one to ever catch
a glimpse of her this way was Goku.
The dark haired woman sat silently in the
darkness, not completely oblivious to what was happening to her body yet not
willing to act on it. Her arms were wrapped around herself to keep herself warm
in the chill of the void. The chill only became stronger the longer she sat,
and soon her breath formed into ice crystals that shattered by her feet.
This was the sight that greeted Goku when
he fell into Chichi's mind with the help of King Kai.
Shocked blue eyes fell on the lone figure
in white that clashed against the darkness, and Goku drew in a sharp breath
upon feeling how cold it was. A faint pain stabbed at his chest as he regarded
Chichi, but realized that she had yet to see him at all.
*She always reacted fast, so why wouldn't
she notice someone falling ten feet away from her?* Goku thought, watching the
icicles from his own breath fall to the ground, *It's freezing in here! What's
happening?*
Goku walked slowly over to his wife while
his ki flared around him to keep him warm and give off light. He was hoping
that it would get her attention...maybe she would respond in someway.
Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Chichi just continued to stare ahead into
nothing.
*Aren't dreams supposed to be different
than this?* he thought sadly.
The Saiyajin reached out a tentative hand
and placed it on Chichi's shoulder, and upon feeling how cold her skin was,
Goku placed his other hand on her shoulder. "Chichi?" he managed to whisper,
the shattering of ice following his words.
It took a minute or two for Chichi to
register the warm hands on her shoulders and the voice whispering her name. Her
head turned slightly to see one of the glowing hands and her brow furrowed as
her chilled fingers reached up to touch it softly. The woman in white spun
around slowly so that she could face the owner of these hands to see who dared
to enter the deepest recesses of her mind. Chichi's onyx gaze rose to clash
with the bright blue eyes of a man who had long been dead in her life, and her
fingers froze over the hand on her shoulder.
"Goku..." she breathed, her voice barely
audible.
Her husband could not unlock his gaze from
hers as he searched her visage as if he was looking for the answer to life.
After seeing the fire gone from the eyes that he had come to miss so much in
death, Goku couldn't just stand there. It was too much. In less than a second
Chichi found herself in the embrace of a very protective Saiyajin who stroked
her hair as her shocked body slowly relaxed into him.
As Goku held Chichi to him, an assault of
mental images hit him hard for wondering what had been happening to her.
Visions appeared of the secret visits to the doctor and finding out that tumors
had spread through out her body, her refusal of chemotherapy, her loneliness
with the absence of her family, how she lied to Bulma about her sickness, how
she tried to carry on her life as usual although she was always in pain...how
she was in pain even now...
His eyes shut as rage and sorrow clouded
them. He still could not understand how she could not fight this. Goku was
shaken from his personal thoughts when he felt Chichi cling to him tightly and
bury her head in his chest. His gaze opened and softened instantly as Goku felt
her tears soak his shirt. Being in her dreams was almost like being alive
again.
Chichi held him tightly to her, afraid
that he would disappear again and leave her alone. The chill of the void was
forgotten against the warmth of his presence, but her life was not misplaced in
her memory. She didn't care why she was seeing Goku now or how he got there.
Chichi just wanted him to stay.
"Don't leave me again..." she sobbed,
never looking up.
"Shh, it's okay Chi...I'm not going
anywhere." Goku reassured her, squeezing a little tighter as if it would help
stop her sorrow.
"You always leave. Training, fighting,
visiting someone other than me, dying..." she sniffed, feeling him take all of
her weight upon himself.
Goku tilted her head up and wiped the
stray tears from her face with his thumb. Allowing his saddened gaze to drop to
hers, and his head tilted to the side as he watched her. "Chichi, you have me
and I won't leave," he said as his finger brushed across her lips, "I promise."
Chichi's gaze never left those blue eyes
as she allowed him to caress her face. Many things had changed about him, but
that gentleness was still there. The purity Goku seemed to hold despite his
power remained. The man she loved was in those eyes amidst all of the other
glorious things he had become over his lifetime. "You promise?" she asked
softly, almost as if she was the child he first met decades ago.
He had never seen her like this when he
was alive, even when her strength flickered, and it was only now that Goku was
beginning to understand what happened when he died. All of her internal
barriers that she had held up were gone, eaten through by whatever blows they
had already sustained, and everything that she was had started to fall apart.
Goku had been amazed when Chichi had been able to survive his final death,
since their bond had already been battered in the past. Any normal person would
have perished, but Chichi had kept going and managed to raise Goten with
Gohan's help. What Goku hadn't seen was that Chichi's death had been prolonged
for many years. In reality, Chichi hadn't been able to handle Goku's death and
the emotional illness left from that had slowly deteriorated her strength over
the years. Only in the past decade had Chichi developed cancer and it was a
mystery to doctors where she had gotten it from. Everything about Chichi's
lifestyle was healthy except for her emotional state. There was no scientific
explanation for it.
Goku found it hard to respond to Chichi as
visions and realizations hit him constantly, but having her midnight black eyes
settled on his own helped pull Goku back to a degree of control. Goku smiled
that assuring smile he wore before every fight and rested his forehead against
hers. A small sigh escaped him as he felt her begin to wake up...consciousness
wanted her back. His lips hovered dangerously close to her own, the sparkle of
undying optimism in his eyes. "I already said it Chichi, besides...I never
left."
Chichi blinked up at him in confusion as
his lips softly touched her own, but the kiss quickly distracted her from her
questioning thoughts. Chichi's eyes fluttered shut as he deepened the kiss, his
tongue sliding into her mouth to possess her, and she felt her knees weaken as
he locked his arms tightly about her waist.
When Chichi opened her eyes to look at him
again, she found herself in her bed with a familiar pain running through her
chest. A soft frown crossed her lips as she sat up in the darkness of the
morning. *All a dream...it isn't fair.*
With a small grunt she managed to get out
of bed and ignoring the pain, she stumbled into the bathroom. Today was going
to be long.
Meanwhile Goku watched from the recesses of her mind, his wife's eyes acting as his own as he observed her as silently as possible. Already he could sense how difficult this was going to be.