Title: Hi, My Name is Harvey being the fourth and long overdue part
Author: Brendan Storm
Rating: PG
Disclaimers: As usual the DC comics characters are owned and created by
another and I am getting nothing but pleasure from this, but the created
character and the idea are mine dang it, all mine
Warning: Yes I wrote my furry butt into the story. There are also lousy puns in it too. Also in this one be aware that I wanted to do the Clue send up just like it was, but we had to keep it moving and I couldn't think of anything to brain him with. I do, however love them Tim Curry movies.
Author's Notes: Thanks go out to Charlene and Tammy who helped me get a plot and to the guys at TITANS who still haven't explained Lian's outbursts yet.
Previously on Hi! : Dick got whacked in the head so hard that he started seeing and conversing with a white rabbit furry (anthropomorphic animal) was tested by Doc Leslie who determined that Dick is seeing what shrinks call a "Harvey" after the movie with Jimmy Stewart. Babs decided that if this was mental, then the best person to look at him was J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter. But J'onn took one look and bolted. Dick went to the Titans Tower for a meeting and Dick's imaginary friend met Lian Harper, daughter of Arsenal, punching bag of fan-ficdom. We now begin our tale…
"Daddy doesn't play with me anymore." The little Asian girl said. She dried her tears with a bed sheet. The little girl, Lian Harper, lay on her bed upside down and stared at the biggest plush bunny she'd ever seen. It was talking to her like on one of those Nicktoons.
"But you have lots of new friends, don't you?" The white rabbit asked. The reflection of the nightlight on the end table glanced off his silver eye patch.
"I like Daddy."
"I do too, hon. He's funny."
"Daddy's the bestest. He and Rose teached me to do a cartwheel. Wanna see?" Lian promptly jumped up and did a cartwheel for the giant rabbit sitting at the foot of her bed. Brendan clapped appreciatively. "He don't play no more. Just Tells What Do."
"You know he's a hero, Lian. He gets busy."
"Uh huh," she said not understanding. "But he don't play no more."
Roy Harper, the girl's father, and best looking single parent in the Titans at the moment, could not see the lapin (that's fancy talk for rabbit, but as a good writer I try not to say bunny rabbit too many times in the same page, get me? You Are learning from fan fiction, ain't that keen?) that was talking to his daughter. His companion, Dick Grayson could. Or he could have if he hadn't actually collapsed when his team mate's daughter spoke to the figment of his imagination.
The figment looked up at the sound of a collapsing superhero and chuckled. Lian began giggling too, and rolled on the floor.
"He's funny" she giggle spoke.
"He's why I'm here." Brendan winked at her.
"Daddy says he needs to get laid more." She said conspiratorially. Roy covered his face with his hand and groaned.
"What else is bugging you, punkin?" asked Brendan. He helped the little one climb into bed, trying to fight to stay awake as only a toddler can do.
"Them other kids were dumb. I'm still mad at them."
"That's not all, is it?"
"Daddy," she sniffed and hugged the soft white furry. "Daddy made mommy go away." Roy sighed and started to walk into the room. He couldn't hear the next question. "I know she's bad. But Daddy can make her better." Again there was a pause as she sniffled. "He makes me sit in time out when I'm bad."
"Sometimes," Roy said slowly, "time out just doesn't work, honey." He pulled the covers up and tucked his little one into bed. Dick sat up and groaned in the doorway. "Time out is for good girls who sometimes mess up. It's not for bad people. Bad people need help, and your mommy needs help we can't give her." The heartfelt way he said it made Roy realize that he finally was telling the truth to himself about the woman he loved.
"I want mommy," she pleaded through heavy lidded eyes.
"I'm sorry." Roy bent down and kissed her forehead. Then he looked to his shoes and asked out loud, "How do I tell her that her mother's evil."
"You're doing fine, Roy." The rabbit said. Although the man could not hear him consciously, he continued, "Check on your friend." Roy went to Dick and gave him a hand up.
"Dude. You look wiped. You should rest. You want to call off the training until you schedule some sack time?"
"Why does everyone seem to think I have time to waste?" The dark haired man said angrily.
"Because," both friend and figment said at the same time, "you sound like your bat."
*** *** ***
One hour later, Roy was in the kitchen, sandwich in hand quietly trying to explain what was going on to the other members of the team.
"It could be a hypertime hallucination. You know, a world where animals became real and only he's seeing it."
"It's a totem. It talked to Lian. I thought she'd get a hawk like I did, but I think it's here for Dick."
"Totems? We have spiritual guides in Atlantean myth, too. I remember Atlan said once that they had specific messages for you."
"Them's the ones, Gillhead."
"Bite me, Roy."
"That was good, you've been practicing."
"Thanks, Rose taught me." Garth beamed.
"I mean, we all thought he'd snap some day, right? Figured he'd burn out, or just start yelling at us with all that anger he likes to swallow, and we kinda planned for that, right? What do we do if he goes all nutso and he's talking to imaginary friends and stuff even admitting it's a totem or a spirit guide or something mystical?" Roy shoved the sandwich into his mouth and began to chew.
"I think we should just observe him. I'll talk to him after the training." The peacemaker sister of Wonder Woman said quietly. Donna Troy was like a sister to Dick, and had even dated Roy in a rebellious streak. Roy still would not admit, even under extreme torture, that he missed her.
"And by the way, this nulls the bet where we said Robin would be the one to go nuts and start talking to an imaginary friend." Roy said quickly.
"Oh no you don't Roy. I had the bet down, you owe me a fifty," said Tempest
"But he's not Robin anymore."
"Not the point, pony up, I think is the surface phrase." Roy pulled his wallet and passed the bill to his friend.
"The bet was on the new robin anyways." The redhead muttered.
"Again, not the point." Tempest handed the bill to Donna who put it in her pocket. "Here, I don't need surface money." The purple eyes twinkled as he grinned at Roy who was spluttering. Donna laughed, annoyingly beautifully and musically.
*** *** ***
The training session was held in one of the gyms set up for such an occasion. The place looked like a police encounter range with buildings and ample space for people to hide and attack, as well as fly around and work on assault or rescue tactics. It reminded Brendan of something out of Counter-Strike or Unreal Tournament video games.
"So you're not going to take a nap, huh?"
"I do not have time for that. I do not have time for you. I am not becoming like Him either."
"Hey, you're the one seeing imaginary friends. Tempest won the bet by the way."
"Good for him. Go away for a couple hours will you? Play in traffic or something. Go tease J'onn for a while or something." Dick was exhausted, angry and upset with himself for getting into this predicament. The rabbit grating on his nerves and being a rude fan boy didn't help either. The others began to file into the room as Nightwing stood at the ready. Grayson thought for a couple moments about swatting the apparition with his escrima sticks a few times for fun, but that would make him look like he was losing it, and he was not losing it.
"My goddess, is she 18 yet cause I am so wanting to peel that suit offa there and see what else is white..." The rabbit salivated as Argent walked into the training room in her current skintight costume. She was wearing a pair of Jessie Quick's earrings. Oddly enough when Jessie walked in Dick noticed she had a set of Toni's T's on her ears. They looked good. Then he remembered he had a girlfriend.
"Oh no you don't. You be quiet. If you have to be here I am ignoring you but you do not describe those disgusting Thoughts while I'm working with her, do you get me?"
"Ok, Roy, he's kookoo," Garth muttered.
"I AM NOT KOOKOO!!!" Nightwing shouted. Finally, thought the rabbit. He'd started to crack.
"Dude, you're shouting." Roy supplied.
"I'M NOT SHOUTING!!!!" was the angry reply. Donna coughed. "ALRIGHT I'M SHOUTING! FINE! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! BE THAT WAY!"
"Dick... honey... everyone's worried about you. They want me to talk to you because there's a rumor around that you're seeing things.
"It's not a tumor, Donna." He misheard. The rabbit snickered.
"Dick..."
"Donna?"
"Rocky?" The rabbit chimed in.
"Don't walk away when I'm talking to you. It's rude, and it's the first sign that you're in denial about something and if you're in denial, then that means something's wrong. Obviously there's something you're in denial of."
" I'm not in denial, except that I'm denying that I'm in denial." Dick protested.
"Classic case," said Brendan.
"You shut up, rabbit."
"Dick..." Donna began again.
"Oh we're doing this again?" the rabbit quipped. He stuck his tongue out at Nightwing.
"We don't want to have to force you to relax…" she continued.
"Well they could." Brendan interjected. "A nice tazer, some demon blood possibly even some grub worms from that Flash Gordon movie with Queen. Those turned me on. Or possibly it was the chick and the hands …"
"Because it'll end up messy, things will be broken, and there will be hard feelings. Can't you just do this for me?" she pleaded with him.
"Baby I'd do anything for you," grinned the lapin.
"Pervert."
"Dick... talk to me. Not the... rodent thing."
"Donna. I am seeing a rude obnoxious stupid rabbit in army fatigues. I don't need a shrink. I need an exorcist, and this team needs to train. Now I love you like a sister, but take the flank and try to attack Argent's weak points while I go after Jessie."
"That's what I'm talkin bout!"
"Pervert!!" Seeing that there was no way anything could be accomplished now, he stormed out of the training room.
"By the way, Roy. I know you can't hear me, but I kind of have to say this." Brendan leaned in real close to the archer and screamed "TELL HER YOU STILL LOVE HER YOU DAMN MORON!" Then he brushed himself down and followed Dick. Roy stood there and blinked several times.
"There's only one thing to do," Donna sighed. "I'm calling his father."
"Bruce?" Roy said, in a haze.
"He's the only one who can make him do anything he doesn't want to do."
To be concluded….
Author: Brendan Storm
Rating: PG
Disclaimers: As usual the DC comics characters are owned and created by
another and I am getting nothing but pleasure from this, but the created
character and the idea are mine dang it, all mine
Warning: Yes I wrote my furry butt into the story. There are also lousy puns in it too. Also in this one be aware that I wanted to do the Clue send up just like it was, but we had to keep it moving and I couldn't think of anything to brain him with. I do, however love them Tim Curry movies.
Author's Notes: Thanks go out to Charlene and Tammy who helped me get a plot and to the guys at TITANS who still haven't explained Lian's outbursts yet.
Previously on Hi! : Dick got whacked in the head so hard that he started seeing and conversing with a white rabbit furry (anthropomorphic animal) was tested by Doc Leslie who determined that Dick is seeing what shrinks call a "Harvey" after the movie with Jimmy Stewart. Babs decided that if this was mental, then the best person to look at him was J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter. But J'onn took one look and bolted. Dick went to the Titans Tower for a meeting and Dick's imaginary friend met Lian Harper, daughter of Arsenal, punching bag of fan-ficdom. We now begin our tale…
"Daddy doesn't play with me anymore." The little Asian girl said. She dried her tears with a bed sheet. The little girl, Lian Harper, lay on her bed upside down and stared at the biggest plush bunny she'd ever seen. It was talking to her like on one of those Nicktoons.
"But you have lots of new friends, don't you?" The white rabbit asked. The reflection of the nightlight on the end table glanced off his silver eye patch.
"I like Daddy."
"I do too, hon. He's funny."
"Daddy's the bestest. He and Rose teached me to do a cartwheel. Wanna see?" Lian promptly jumped up and did a cartwheel for the giant rabbit sitting at the foot of her bed. Brendan clapped appreciatively. "He don't play no more. Just Tells What Do."
"You know he's a hero, Lian. He gets busy."
"Uh huh," she said not understanding. "But he don't play no more."
Roy Harper, the girl's father, and best looking single parent in the Titans at the moment, could not see the lapin (that's fancy talk for rabbit, but as a good writer I try not to say bunny rabbit too many times in the same page, get me? You Are learning from fan fiction, ain't that keen?) that was talking to his daughter. His companion, Dick Grayson could. Or he could have if he hadn't actually collapsed when his team mate's daughter spoke to the figment of his imagination.
The figment looked up at the sound of a collapsing superhero and chuckled. Lian began giggling too, and rolled on the floor.
"He's funny" she giggle spoke.
"He's why I'm here." Brendan winked at her.
"Daddy says he needs to get laid more." She said conspiratorially. Roy covered his face with his hand and groaned.
"What else is bugging you, punkin?" asked Brendan. He helped the little one climb into bed, trying to fight to stay awake as only a toddler can do.
"Them other kids were dumb. I'm still mad at them."
"That's not all, is it?"
"Daddy," she sniffed and hugged the soft white furry. "Daddy made mommy go away." Roy sighed and started to walk into the room. He couldn't hear the next question. "I know she's bad. But Daddy can make her better." Again there was a pause as she sniffled. "He makes me sit in time out when I'm bad."
"Sometimes," Roy said slowly, "time out just doesn't work, honey." He pulled the covers up and tucked his little one into bed. Dick sat up and groaned in the doorway. "Time out is for good girls who sometimes mess up. It's not for bad people. Bad people need help, and your mommy needs help we can't give her." The heartfelt way he said it made Roy realize that he finally was telling the truth to himself about the woman he loved.
"I want mommy," she pleaded through heavy lidded eyes.
"I'm sorry." Roy bent down and kissed her forehead. Then he looked to his shoes and asked out loud, "How do I tell her that her mother's evil."
"You're doing fine, Roy." The rabbit said. Although the man could not hear him consciously, he continued, "Check on your friend." Roy went to Dick and gave him a hand up.
"Dude. You look wiped. You should rest. You want to call off the training until you schedule some sack time?"
"Why does everyone seem to think I have time to waste?" The dark haired man said angrily.
"Because," both friend and figment said at the same time, "you sound like your bat."
*** *** ***
One hour later, Roy was in the kitchen, sandwich in hand quietly trying to explain what was going on to the other members of the team.
"It could be a hypertime hallucination. You know, a world where animals became real and only he's seeing it."
"It's a totem. It talked to Lian. I thought she'd get a hawk like I did, but I think it's here for Dick."
"Totems? We have spiritual guides in Atlantean myth, too. I remember Atlan said once that they had specific messages for you."
"Them's the ones, Gillhead."
"Bite me, Roy."
"That was good, you've been practicing."
"Thanks, Rose taught me." Garth beamed.
"I mean, we all thought he'd snap some day, right? Figured he'd burn out, or just start yelling at us with all that anger he likes to swallow, and we kinda planned for that, right? What do we do if he goes all nutso and he's talking to imaginary friends and stuff even admitting it's a totem or a spirit guide or something mystical?" Roy shoved the sandwich into his mouth and began to chew.
"I think we should just observe him. I'll talk to him after the training." The peacemaker sister of Wonder Woman said quietly. Donna Troy was like a sister to Dick, and had even dated Roy in a rebellious streak. Roy still would not admit, even under extreme torture, that he missed her.
"And by the way, this nulls the bet where we said Robin would be the one to go nuts and start talking to an imaginary friend." Roy said quickly.
"Oh no you don't Roy. I had the bet down, you owe me a fifty," said Tempest
"But he's not Robin anymore."
"Not the point, pony up, I think is the surface phrase." Roy pulled his wallet and passed the bill to his friend.
"The bet was on the new robin anyways." The redhead muttered.
"Again, not the point." Tempest handed the bill to Donna who put it in her pocket. "Here, I don't need surface money." The purple eyes twinkled as he grinned at Roy who was spluttering. Donna laughed, annoyingly beautifully and musically.
*** *** ***
The training session was held in one of the gyms set up for such an occasion. The place looked like a police encounter range with buildings and ample space for people to hide and attack, as well as fly around and work on assault or rescue tactics. It reminded Brendan of something out of Counter-Strike or Unreal Tournament video games.
"So you're not going to take a nap, huh?"
"I do not have time for that. I do not have time for you. I am not becoming like Him either."
"Hey, you're the one seeing imaginary friends. Tempest won the bet by the way."
"Good for him. Go away for a couple hours will you? Play in traffic or something. Go tease J'onn for a while or something." Dick was exhausted, angry and upset with himself for getting into this predicament. The rabbit grating on his nerves and being a rude fan boy didn't help either. The others began to file into the room as Nightwing stood at the ready. Grayson thought for a couple moments about swatting the apparition with his escrima sticks a few times for fun, but that would make him look like he was losing it, and he was not losing it.
"My goddess, is she 18 yet cause I am so wanting to peel that suit offa there and see what else is white..." The rabbit salivated as Argent walked into the training room in her current skintight costume. She was wearing a pair of Jessie Quick's earrings. Oddly enough when Jessie walked in Dick noticed she had a set of Toni's T's on her ears. They looked good. Then he remembered he had a girlfriend.
"Oh no you don't. You be quiet. If you have to be here I am ignoring you but you do not describe those disgusting Thoughts while I'm working with her, do you get me?"
"Ok, Roy, he's kookoo," Garth muttered.
"I AM NOT KOOKOO!!!" Nightwing shouted. Finally, thought the rabbit. He'd started to crack.
"Dude, you're shouting." Roy supplied.
"I'M NOT SHOUTING!!!!" was the angry reply. Donna coughed. "ALRIGHT I'M SHOUTING! FINE! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! BE THAT WAY!"
"Dick... honey... everyone's worried about you. They want me to talk to you because there's a rumor around that you're seeing things.
"It's not a tumor, Donna." He misheard. The rabbit snickered.
"Dick..."
"Donna?"
"Rocky?" The rabbit chimed in.
"Don't walk away when I'm talking to you. It's rude, and it's the first sign that you're in denial about something and if you're in denial, then that means something's wrong. Obviously there's something you're in denial of."
" I'm not in denial, except that I'm denying that I'm in denial." Dick protested.
"Classic case," said Brendan.
"You shut up, rabbit."
"Dick..." Donna began again.
"Oh we're doing this again?" the rabbit quipped. He stuck his tongue out at Nightwing.
"We don't want to have to force you to relax…" she continued.
"Well they could." Brendan interjected. "A nice tazer, some demon blood possibly even some grub worms from that Flash Gordon movie with Queen. Those turned me on. Or possibly it was the chick and the hands …"
"Because it'll end up messy, things will be broken, and there will be hard feelings. Can't you just do this for me?" she pleaded with him.
"Baby I'd do anything for you," grinned the lapin.
"Pervert."
"Dick... talk to me. Not the... rodent thing."
"Donna. I am seeing a rude obnoxious stupid rabbit in army fatigues. I don't need a shrink. I need an exorcist, and this team needs to train. Now I love you like a sister, but take the flank and try to attack Argent's weak points while I go after Jessie."
"That's what I'm talkin bout!"
"Pervert!!" Seeing that there was no way anything could be accomplished now, he stormed out of the training room.
"By the way, Roy. I know you can't hear me, but I kind of have to say this." Brendan leaned in real close to the archer and screamed "TELL HER YOU STILL LOVE HER YOU DAMN MORON!" Then he brushed himself down and followed Dick. Roy stood there and blinked several times.
"There's only one thing to do," Donna sighed. "I'm calling his father."
"Bruce?" Roy said, in a haze.
"He's the only one who can make him do anything he doesn't want to do."
To be concluded….