CHAPTER 5

Author's notes part 1 – chapter 5

Hey guys! Big fluffy hug to everyone who followed and reviewed the story so far! I'm so happy that people are enjoying this! Special thanks to Madame aZure who is always there to support this fic and the art for it on Tumblr and I have to thank Yunalove for pointing out some interesting facts about the characters' ages that I didn't know about.

Don't worry, the story is far from over!

Have fun!

"Make it stop. Make it stop." He begged like a video set on loop. "Make it stop, please, it hurts. It hurts. I can't take it. Why are you making me feel all this pain? I'll do anything, just make it stop."

The screen went black. His whole body tensed up for a moment. He was panting so hard his chest was throbbing.

There was more. More information every day. The particular new feature that kept him awake at night was the recorded conversations. Voices of the important people in the world talked to him in so many different languages all at once. And he understood. He could tell by the sound of their voice, by some habit or flaw in their speech to whom that voice belonged. On a crowded street, among masses of voices, traffic sounds and music, he could detect a person within seconds just by listening; even CCTV feeds proved to be less of the challenge to his enhanced hearing and impeccable memory.

That ability would look so cool in a comic; actually having it made Tao sick to his stomach. He started to hate every single superhero he dreamt of becoming as a kid, every sci-fi film that had anything to do with modified humans, robots and aliens, all those games he played being oh so proud of himself because he was better than others. He hated his love for technology and his hobby of fixing it, and he hated his computer skills that he practised in spare time. He started hating everything he ever loved.

Was this some kind of twisted punishment? Or some ironical wish granting?

Sure, he'd think sometimes watching movies how neat it would be to have this and that ability, to be like him or her. And yeah, he wished he was faster and more efficient at surfing the net, better at focusing.

Concentrating was never his strong suit. He'd often feel restless in class, not because he was bored, but because there were so many other interesting things going on around him. He'd look at other students and what they were doing; watched them while they were reading and playing on their mobile phones in secret and sometimes even peeked or tried to deduce from their whispering what was occupying their time. He'd listen to what they were gossipping about. It was fun, and made him feel like a part of the class. He knew what was going on in school even though he was a loner and that gave him a feeling of belonging, especially at rare occasions when his classmates actually talked to him and asked for his opinion on a certain topic. Tao believed his fellow classmates didn't hate him. He was just a bit dull and geeky and always had best marks.

So, yes, his lack of attention of what was written on the blackboard was his weakness. He didn't think it was necessarily a bad thing, though. Tao already knew all of the school material; it was easy, and he studied things quick. He sometimes wished teachers made their subjects more challenging or at least more interesting. He could find more info on the Internet than in his textbooks.

"Congrats, Tao, you got your challenge. You fool."

Was it a punishment? For something he said or done? What did he do? He couldn't have been the worst person on this planet, first of all he was not a murderer, so there were thousands of other candidates more qualified to receive this torture. Or perhaps he deserved this kind of treatment for thinking that way. "There must be a reason… Oh," he remembered. He was the one who picked a fight with these bastards first. "Right."

"Why? Why did I do that? Haven't my parents taught me anything? My… parents…? They wouldn't have allowed me to play like that if I had them… or if they cared… right? I mean, hacking is illegal. It was borderline tolerable when it was just video pirating, but hacking some organisation… why did I do that?"

He couldn't remember it well.

It's been a while since he first realised he was losing parts of memory. They weren't completely gone; it's not like he couldn't find his way to them, it's just that they were so foggy… So vague and complicated to reach. There was just too much in his brain now. (Was it trying to make space?)

It seemed his brain was convinced that information from the input was far more valuable than some memories. He would lose himself whenever he'd tried to sort out piles and piles of newly learnt things. He'd lose focus and forget what he was looking for. Besides, it was easier not to think at all. Whenever his brain started working it would take hours for it to calm down. Tao just couldn't stand the loud processing and buzzing in his ears.

And now – thanks to that new feature in the input – he had to deal with hallucinations too. Nightly conversations with people that he saw in the screenings, people who he never met in person, had to be a figment of his imagination, his fried brain. (It was the only logical explanation.)

He would hear them talk and his lips would start to move on their own. Soon enough, Tao was certain there were politicians and other big officials in his room debating with each other, sharing confidential info Tao had read during inputs. He could almost touch them, and he would sometimes. At such moments Tao would realise he was trapped in some dream again, because there he still had arms.

Sometimes there was a pair in the room, a man and a woman, sitting on his bed, holding his hands. He had a feeling they knew him, but he couldn't recognise their faces. They wouldn't speak when he'd ask them questions and no matter how much he cajoled them into talking to him, they persistently stayed quiet. It made him angry… Overwrought for some reason. Their constant silence wounded him to the point where he couldn't bare to look at them anymore, which in turn made him hurt even deeper.

In the end, he decided to ignore them completely. They became rare guests to his midnight sessions with presidents of the world, old and new. They stopped visiting one night and after a second and then a third, Tao forgot they were ever there.

Tao lost count of the "muscle training". He thought he recently heard that it was his fifty-third time successfully finishing the test.

"That woman must be so proud."

It made him feel odd. The fact that she kept visiting him at the end of every single training and wasted time on trivial repetitive parts of the process that she could had easily assigned someone else to do was weird. Every time she hid his tired eyes from the neon light he'd relax a bit more. Soon, he was sure his mind was melting from her palliative body heat and he enjoyed it so much he was now addicted to it. He longed for her rubbery touch and when she tugged on his hair his heart would beat a little faster because he knew it was real. She was real and she was here. Always.

Tao was locked in his room when it was time to "sleep". He had his honoured guests to keep him company, but he knew he was just talking to himself. There was also no one in the room where they performed the tests to help him pass the time during the ordeal.

Aside from being there to take him to the training room, the closest his doctors interacted with him was via microphone and they would converse with him only to scold him because of his whining. Was he talking during screenings? He wouldn't know.

Indeed, her being near him was… soothing.

She would never miss to feed him. It was once during the day, but it was enough. Tao didn't have much of an appetite. It was… kind of her helping him eat the whole portion. He wasn't able to on his own. And even though he didn't like those tasteless soups she spoon-fed him, he often found himself wishing "meal" times lasted longer.

He tried once to persuade her he needed two meals a day. (He thought it was a reasonable request since he was still a growing boy, right?)

(How… how old was he, anyway? How much time has passed?)

Tao pondered the question until she caressed him with a mysterious smile on her lips. He gave in to the touch and forgot his worries. "Two meals a day" drill didn't last for long because his stomach refused that much food. She yelled at him for lying and then she held his shoulders while he was vomiting. It was so kind of her to care.

It was so nice of her to protect his eyes. He could rely on those hands to keep his head from falling.

It made him feel utterly miserable.

"Twenty hours. I am so proud."

She would never fail to praise him. Dread would crawl from his gut but his heart would swell at the doctor's words. "My God… what the hell is this?" Tao wanted to cry for being such an idiot, but he'd rather die than weep in front of her. Not ever again. It only made him feel like he lost another battle. If he could still hear any of his inner voices he'd bet at least one of them would whisper: "You've already lost the war."

Tao gulped down his whimper and let his head rest on her chest. It irked him he had the strange need to do so and he despised her even more for allowing it.

"Time for candy." She tugged on his hair and pulled him up.

There was a pill in her hand, his new medication he started taking… weeks ago? He recalled her saying something about speeding up the hormone stabilisation. "It will calm you down," she had told him.

"Great, now she's fucking with my hormones and God knows what else."

Tao refused to take it the first time she presented it to him. He clenched his teeth so hard he thought he'd break them all. He wouldn't open his mouth no matter how many times she slapped him. Then she gave him a wicked smile and said there were other ways to inject a patient with medicine. Tao started shivering like crazy.

"Not needles, I can't stand needles."

"No more drugs!" He screamed in his mind, knowing he'd be begging for some sedatives in a few minutes. He opened his mouth on his own and she made sure he swallowed the pill.

He was disgusting.

(Yeah… he was, he really did deserve it.)

There was no other explanation to why he would be condemned to such agony. No person was that evil to keep hurting another human being with no reason and after all those… pleasant moments he had shared with her, she couldn't have been pure evil. It must had been his fault she was behaving like this… behaving like a nut.

(What… What did he do? Did he have no shame? Forgetting something so horrible?)

No wonder she hated him, because only hate would make you do this to a fellow man…

(Right?)

Despite of it all, she still cared for him. There was no mistake, there was tenderness and familiar sweetness in her voice that he vaguely remembered dreaming about sometimes. He'd experience a sharp pang of guilt whenever he'd feel happy about it. Two strong emotions were clashing with each other inside Tao, two faces of Tao were competing for his heart. Was this confusion he felt what people called split personality?

"Wow… a sinner and a mental case… ha…"

"There we go." She helped him wash the pill down with some water that tasted like sugar. Tao didn't even want to know what it was.

"Open." He listened and she smiled now certain he took the medicine. "Good boy."

"Whatever. Let's just finish with the output and go to sleep."

"You know, I think you're almost ready for the next stage."

Tao winced involuntarily. (Was she joking?)It didn't matter how fast and smart his brain was getting, he always felt stupid when it came to that woman.

"Oh… Right, she was insane." And Tao was going insane too. "Ha ha ha…"

"Five more inputs and we'll have a nice round number of 100 sessions." She picked up a chart from a nearby table. "It would be best if we did some enhancing before we continue with those. I'm worried your body will collapse otherwise."

"Really? Worried?" Tao snorted in his mind, while his heart pounded hard. "Is that…? Enhancing? Is it gonna stop the pain?" He had this vague memory of her saying it will be easier after… What?

"Tao, what are you saying? Have you gone mad?" The question scared the hell out of him. Instead of screaming in terror, Tao wanted to laugh so hard he hoped it would crush his lungs. And his heart.

"You stopped growing, so… I guess you're almost done with puberty, or at least with the most important part of it." She looked at him. "Yes… let's start as soon as we're done with five more sessions."

"E-Enhancing?" His mouth was quicker than his mind. It was so obvious he should resist, say no, beg, whatever, instead somewhere deep inside he thought that maybe if she explained… so that he could understand, maybe he will see that this enhancing thing was not so bad. Maybe he truly needed it… to be better… because it couldn't be worse than this.

"Chemical enhancing. We're going to modify most of your cells so that they can work to their fullest. It won't change your appearance, so don't worry. You'll still be pretty when we finish," she said that like it made sense.

"My… My cells?"

"Cells? Like… tempering on a molecular level? Like DNA and that shit? H-how was that… How could she… Can it be done? Isn't that…? Won't that change me from the core? Will I stay…? Your appearance won't – I will change! I will!"

"Yes, yes, your organs, your bones… I'll take care of it all. You'll feel so much better."

Tao heard a yelp and his mind shut down.

"Nnn-n-no, no, please, don't… I'm trying, I did everything you've asked… Isn't this enough?" He was blabbering without tears.

"Oh stop. You won't feel a thing. I'm trying to help you."

"I don't want it!" He let out a wail that surprised them both. "I can't take it anymore, I'm trying so hard, what do you want from me? Why won't you just let me be? Isn't this enough?!"

"Don't you yell at me!" She peered through him. "Stop trying to make a scene! You're not a child anymore! Suck it up!"

"Why are you doing this? To me! Why are you doing this to me?!" He couldn't stop. She was glaring at him angrily, but he couldn't shut up. "Why? What did I do?! Isn't it enough? Just stop it! Stop!"

She crossed her hands. (That was new. Wasn't she about to strike him or at least shout and threaten him?)

"I can't take it anymore, you have to stop! Stop torturing me! I did nothing wrong! Why are you like this?! Can't you just let me go! Let me go already! I want to go home!"

His head ached. Something was squeezing his heart making him feel nauseous.

(Home? Did he have a home? He must have had one, right?)

"It doesn't matter… Anywhere, anywhere but here." He had to get out of here before he completely goes insane.

"You took everything from me! Everything! So what do you want?!"

(That bitch! She screwed him up! She took his arms for no reason! She made him sleep for a year! She stole one whole year of his life! She cracked his brain open! She took them all, that lunatic, all of his memories! He knew he had some, back when the world was normal! He just knew it! And now she wants to freaking erase him! Why? Why?! No reason, there was no reason! That's right, there was no excuse for any of it! There couldn't be! She was just plain evil!)

"You done?"

Tao was wheezing barely staying up straight. He had no strength left and if it wasn't for the binding he would have fallen of the chair.

"Feeling better?" She came closer. "Good, since this is the last time you talk to me like that. Is that how you thank me for wishing to help you, Tao?"

"Help me? She thinks this was helping? What the…? Oh… This is hilarious… Don't make me laugh… you bitch."

She rouse her thin eyebrow when she heard him snickering. It wasn't a normal laugh. It wasn't forced either.

"What's so funny?"

(Funny? She thinks this is funny? Just look at her, that bitch was laughing at him.)

That was some twisted ha ha he was hearing.

"You're insane…" He giggled.

That woman was just watching.

"What, did I leave her speechless? It's the truth, you bitch, you are insane! And I'm not gonna allow you to make me like you, even if it's the last thing I do! You almost made me convinced I somehow deserved this, that this was all justified and that I should accept it as some form of a gift and a chance to rectify all of my supposed wrongdoings! You made me think you're my mother or something and that you actually cared! And worse, you made me think I cared about you caring! You sick whore! I'm not a bad person, this ain't my fault, you're the one that's wrong! You and this place, they are all wrong and I'm not! I'm Tao, and I'm gonna stay Tao, you hear me? Bring it on, you bitch!"

"Yes… Soaking in the tub will do you good. You'll rest up and gain some strength and then you'll see how much of a brat you were being. I should have done this sooner." She was talking as if he wasn't there, biting her polished nails. "I knew I had to be careful. I'll need to scan you to see how much damage your brain sustained. Tsk… I hope it's just swollen, I don't want a new souvenir. Hm…"

She touched his hair, examining it carefully. "Ugh… I have to fix this soon. It bothers you, doesn't it? Don't worry, I already have some ideas."

Tao jerked his head to the side. "You're not touching my head again, I won't let you."

His heart pounded sadly, desperate for affectionate touch.

Tao told his heart to go to hell.

She held her breath, trying to control her temper. Tao had a feeling he'll regret behaving like this. Part of him knew nothing will change after this explosion of emotions. The war really was lost, he wasn't stupid. All you needed to do is see where she was standing and where he was sitting. There was no way he's getting out of here alive. He didn't care. It felt good right now to be like this, to feel like this.

"Fine, I'll let this little tantrum of yours slide, because you were so obedient until now." She turned to the door. "Finish the output in six hours and I'll let you sleep."

(Six?)

The time of output was always half the time of input. He worked for twenty hours today. Output should be ten. Output was always harder for Tao. It was right after absorbing all that jumbled up material and it demanded a lot more concentration. Especially since they had added blueprints of buildings and maps of cities and metros to the pile of pictures they were showing him during the screenings. His first tries had been barely successful; not because he didn't store and learn the presented information, but because he couldn't stay focused long enough to shelve them where they were supposed to go. In the beginning his mind would often short circuit, but nowadays he was getting a hang of it. Sometimes, if the subjects were more interesting, he was even better in output tests than in input ones.

"Six hours, ha? Was that a challenge? Sure, I'll finish in six, hell, I'll finish in five just to see your face when you realise you've lost!"

"Ok."

Dr Aris smirked as she walked through the doors. "Oh dear… Little baby Tao really is my special souvenir," she thought to herself.

He wasn't even aware how good he was. There was nothing like him in the entire Union. She almost felt bad he was no more than food she couldn't wait to eat. Almost.

She turned down the hallway and entered a big, round room. Krantz was already there for his scheduled check-up. The tests on him were coming along great, and Dr Aris couldn't hide her satisfaction of success any better than Krantz could hide his discomfort at being the centre of the doctor's full attention. He flinched and the smirk on her face grew into something sharp and vicious.

Krantz was one of the rare subjects to volunteer for her experiments. As a military man who's seen his fair share of armed conflicts and devastation it brought, he joined the Union a couple of years ago believing the world needed stronger soldiers. Eventually, he wanted to become one himself. Fate wanted him to end up in Dr Aris' hands. Krantz was too old for her taste, but still handsome. There was something attractive in grown, tattered men with scarred souls. Especially if they were scared of small women.

"How are you feeling?" She asked with a cute voice.

"Good."

She liked that rough and simple way of speaking. It made him really look like a fearless soldier, disciplined and confident. If only he knew there was a limbless eighteen year old kid here who had more balls than him.

She spotted Yuri in the corner smiling like always. His smiles were even wider when Dr Aris and Krantz were in the same room together. He loved how that proud man squirmed in her presence.

"Yuri, right on time."

"As always, doctor." Yuri stepped closer taking out some documents from his top jacket pocket. "You said you'll be having some free time soon. I'm guessing the boy is ready for the next stage?"

"We'll start with enhancing his body in two weeks. After that we'll have a couple of more operations, and in a year or two, he'll be able to train with Krantz." She slapped her hands in joy.

Krantz gave a weak smile. Preparing that brat he helped Yuri pick up two years ago was taking longer than her work on any other subject. Well… As long as she made him ready and good for consumption he didn't care what she did. He saw the results of some of her meddling with natural order of things. Better others than him.

"I wanted to be sure which one of them you want me to bring to you?" Yuri presented her the documents. Those were all candidates on her souvenir list. She wasn't usually so organised and persistent when it came to her pets. She would have Yuri kidnap random people on a whim. For some experiments, however, she looked long and hard for a suitable candidate. Yuri would help her track them down and monitor them until she was ready for them.

DA5 project was a big one. Dr Aris was working on it for many years and she now had long lists of more or less perfect subjects. She read the papers with her big yellow eyes. It seemed she knew exactly what she was looking for.

"There, these two." Doctor pointed to the names. "Now, Yuri, be careful with the condition you bring them in. Don't repeat the same mistake with Tao."

"Dear me, doctor, won't I ever be forgiven? I had no choice in the matter. The Elders insisted."

"Fuck the Elders, I want these two in top notch condition, understood?"

"But of course, doctor. There's no need to worry, they are of no interest to the Elders."

"Tsk, those pigs." Dr Aris pulled off her rubbery gloves and sat on the table. She reckoned she deserved some tea. She could spare some time to celebrate, since today was successful.

"I'll return shortly." Yuri was now in the hall. He glanced at the files of the two new guinea pigs. "Takeo and… pff… A man going by the name Shark. Hope he still has sharp teeth."

He continued with a whistle.

Author's notes part 2 – chapter 5

I don't know why, but I always felt strange when I read Ha ha ha in Tao's speech bubbles. That laughter rarely felt genuine. It kinda bothered me (like it did other characters in the comic but not for the same reason I guess, although there were moments when they were all like WTF Tao? I'm reading too much into it, but who cares). Anyway, Tao is a hyperactive, talkative person who can easily lose focus and be unaware of the things happening around him when he's doing something. When he's given a task he'll do it, he'll do even more than what is expected from him.

Tao (I think) said Krantz was afraid of Dr Aris which I've found very interesting. It somehow humanised him. We know little about Takeo and Tao and we know even less about the rest of the DA5. I mean, I've made up a lot of things in this fic, and I've made up things for those three too. They were kind of one dimensional and shallow in the comic, so I tried to give them some character. Whether I've succeeded or not, we'll see.

Leave some comments and see ya soon!