A/N: there is no escaping this madhouse!
A nose akin to the wails of a dying cat split the silence.
"Sith-spit!" with my hands darting for the nearby tissues I felt the beginnings of a second sneeze. I wasn't fast enough. "Fething hell! What the hell, Force?" I groaned while eyeing the green goo coating my hands with disgust.
A soft pearl of crystal-like laughter snapped me out of my musings.
"I don't believe that the Force has anything to do with it my dear Padawan." Fay said with obvious mirth. I opened my mouth to explain but thought better of it and with a sigh set about cleaning my arms.
Right, as if me catching a sudden case of the sniffles whereas before I was as healthy as a Krayt Dragon wasn't suspicious at all. Me! The strongest Force wielder ever…ok maybe not ever, ever but still. Someone who trained every day in Matukai and whose blood was filled with cutting edge, almost bullshit really, nanites. Patrolling each and every corner for my body, searching for bad stuff with a frightening eagerness, like a corrupt copper seeking to 'remind' those who forgot to pay their protection money why it was a bad idea to do so.
Nope, it was clearly the Force herself being a worrywart and trying to make me reconsider, now that her mystical mumbo jumbo acid trip had utterly failed.
Well, jokes on you! If you don't want me to do something I'm all the more likely to go for it, so fuck you, I'm going!
The cosmic field almost recoiled at the sheer spite filling my thoughts, causing me to smile. There that should do—
A series of even stronger sneezes hitting me like a truck a moment later caused me to reconsider that idea, grasping as I was for the tissue box half blindly.
Behind me, Fay, seated some distance away on a tiny hill brimming with green stuff, frowned, rubbing her chin in thought.
"Maybe it's some kind of allergy?" she said, while casting a thoughtful look around her and at the beautiful fauna and flora surrounding us. Indeed, the famed Meditation Gardens of the Temple were jam packed with trees and flowers gathered from every corner of the galaxy, and darting in between their roots all kind of small cute and cuddly, and very furry-like creatures could be found. All of them peaceful and briming with the Light side of the Force.
Feeling the onset of another sneeze fest upon me, I decided I hated each and every one of the buggers, for now at least.
"Perhaps we should reconsider the mission? And maybe a visit to the Healers wouldn't be out of place…"
"No! I'm fine Sensei, while this is weird and all kinds of annoying, its no—no—ah-choo!" Force, one day I will spank your ass. "Nothing serious." I said with a loud sniff, while a tiny rodent like creature chose that moment to dart between my legs, vanishing to parts unknown right after. "There's nothing to worry about Sensei, you'll see. Besides we are going to be late if we stop by the Healers you know."
The hottest centenarian this side of the galaxy, and whose name isn't Scathach, furrowed her brows in worry. Clearly my amazing rhetoric didn't have quite the effect I was going for.
"Oh, very well. We'll go, but if you continue feeling unwell or if it worsens—"
"Then you will be the very first person whom I tell about it Sensei." I said smoothly. For some reason she kept staring at me with suspicion. I wonder why though.
x
xxx
x
Stumbling and almost dropping the crate held in his arms caused him to let out an impressive litany of curses in huttese before, in an impressive display of skill and dexterity he managed to remain on his feet and keep the rusting oversized box between his hands. His knuckles turning white from the effort.
With his heart beginning to return to a more normal rhythm, the youth let out a relieved sigh and slowly pushed the old wooden door open, putting the square box to good use while doing so.
Stepping inside and quickly kicking the door closed behind him, but not before a few grains of sand managed to seep in —not that it was possible to avoid that. He let out a quiet breath of relief at escaping the harsh scorching rays of the binary orbs hanging above in the sky. For a moment the temptation to wipe the sweat of his brow almost overwhelmed him, and yet, with gritted teeth he endured. A couple seconds more wouldn't make that much of a difference, and besides, if he so much as scrapped the package Garat would no doubt have his hide!
Giving a nod towards the bored pair serving as sentries, he started heading deeper into the lair, his shoulders and whole countenance starting to shift before the two guards could even nod back. Where before stood a muscular, handsome and some may even say, arrogant seeming twi-lek teen, now a much more subdued looking boy made his way towards the house's living room where his boss waited.
Knocking on the door, once again using the box in his protesting arms, he waited for the gruff bark of "enter!" a few seconds later before making his way in.
With eyes downcast the teen quickly made his way towards the sand covered table placed close to the open window, letting in even more of the one thing Tatooine could be said to produce and export in abundance. Aside from criminals. And crazy bastards. And bounty hunters. But then again those were usually still criminals so…
Carefully lowering the package to the table, a grunt of exertion leaving his lips, he made to step back before a wiry and deceptively strong arm grasped his forearm freezing him in place.
From his place in the couch, the big headed, grey skinned man leaned forward, his sizeable belly touching the dirty table first as he eyed both the package and the youth in front of him with his large red eyes.
"Hmm, seems ok…Didn't drop it or anything, did you lad?" he asked in an almost concerned tone, as if he was worried about his wellbeing. His eyes brimming with kindness.
Saros, wasn't fooled. The seemingly gentle Duros in front of him holding him in place was anything but kind. After all, few mobsters of renown were.
"No sir."
The man's evil eyes searched his for a moment longer, the mistrustful gaze searching, hoping he was lying, luckily for the youth and much to the older man's disappointment it seemed that he believed him. Releasing the vice grip on his arm with an almost sad sigh, disappointed that he wouldn't get to hit something today, he made a dismissive motion. The youth immediately taking a few steps backwards and away from him.
"Good lad, good…"
It was then that the data-slate resting on the table next to the half-filled ashtray blinked to life, the warning light on it indicating that this was an important transmission.
Soros knew better than to speak, but still, his curiosity was piqued.
Watching the seemingly always arrogant mob-boss pick it up with an annoyed scowl, and said scowl transform into a paling face after scrolling through the incoming transmission's details, only served in further stroking his curiosity. And was that a whimper leaving the perpetually angry man's lips? Surely not, his ears must be playing tricks on him again.
Garat pressed a thumb on the screen, the cheerful chime emanating from the device's speakers a moment later indicated that a connection was established.
"He~eey best buddy~! Miss me?"
x
xxx
x
"Fuck me! You're still alive?! I thought you were dead!"
My grin only widened at the idiot's words.
"I-I mean, i-it's a pleasure to see you again b-boss!"
"Nope! Rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated." I said before frowning as the idiot's stuttering only served in further validating my precaution. "Also, Garat, buddy,"
"Y-yeah boss-man?"
"As you've no doubt already surmised, I left Tatooine in search of new… opportunities,"
"Thank the Force…"He muttered before freezing, "err I mean, congratulations sir!"
"And opportunities indeed I found plenty of once I arrived on Coruscant." I continued smoothly, opting to let the idiot have that one. "In any case that's neither here nor there. While my new friends have…some idea of what I've been up to, they don't know everything."
"Err, what does that have to do with me, Boss? If I may ask, of course."
"I was getting to that you imbecile," I snarked back, causing the man to flinch back, a hastily mumbled 'sorry' leaving his mouth. I took a quick breath, once more finding my equilibrium and re-entering my zen state. Valiantly choosing to ignore Dark-chan's continued whispers, no matter how tempting, to 'choke a bitch'. "The point is, that I'm trying, and to put it in terms you can understand, to 'woo the pants of a certain gall',"
"Holy shit, Steve was right!" an offscreen voice whispered in hushed tones,"That murder-bot of his was keeping the little bastard, and his pecker in a leash after all! I think I will raise a glass in toast later to—"
My eyes started narrowing dangerously, the paneling around the underground hallway starting to creak in protest while the heavily sweating idiot across my screen made desperate hushing motions to someone out of view.
"Quiet you idiot! T-that's g-great Boss! I'm happy for you, but aside from giving you dating advice, I'm not sure how I can help," here a genuine and somewhat proud-smile split the man's lips. "Not that I am not proud you chose me for help, after all I am something of a ladies' man myself, bu—"
I rolled my eyes, even as I continued to leisurely walk down the steps to my girls laboratory. "No, you idiot, it's not about that. To put it simply, that girl is my Jedi Master and—"
The already pale man whitened considerably, something which admittedly surprised me, as I wasn't aware that his species could pale to such an extent, while in the background sobs could be heard.
"Oh gods!"
"They made him a jedi?!" a familiar voice whimpered.
"We are all going to die!" another all but screamed.
My eyes narrowed into slits.
"I'm h-happy for you, boss."
A snort left my lips, even as the familiar metallic door came into view, "I'm sure. Now, I'm busy so I'll be brief. I'll call you later, to ask for your 'help' with something, while said gal is in view. Don't embarrass me or make things too obvious. As far as Fay, and the rest of the Council idiots she will no doubt share said info with are concerned, you and I? We are merely acquaintances, nothing more. Even if I like to use a bit of force from time to time in order to get my way. Capiche?"
"Y-yes boss!"
In lieu of replying I merely kept staring without blinking straight into the man's eyes for a few moments more. Trying to convey the matter's importance and how fucking it up would result in… unpleasant consequences. For him. Once he started whimpering, I gave a short nod to myself. Seems the message was conveyed.
"That's all for now, Anakin over and out." I said, and made to turn the device off before pausing, "Oh, and krump Jeff and Gor-gor a bit for me will ya?" I asked sweetly.
"W-will do, sir!"
I nodded and terminated the connection. How dared the two fleckless idiots imply that I would be anything but the greatest Jedi! The fact that I only planned to stay with the prudes until I grew bored had nothing to do with it, shut up!
x
xxx
x
His arms trembling, Garat slowly lowered the, now inactive, data-slate back onto the table. Eyeing the innocent machine as if it was a deadly viper about to strike or worse, light up again.
After a few more moments where that dreadful prospect failed to come to pass, he wiped his sweaty brow with one arm, heartbeat only now starting to return to normal.
"Fuckin hell…"
x
xxx
x
"So, girls, what have you got for me?" I asked with a grin as I stepped into the laboratory proper, finding my girls already waiting for me. Or at least one of them.
"A great many deal of things." Replied 2B, before starting to sashay towards me. The action drawing my eyes to her thicc hips like a magnet does to iron. Even if I wanted to tear my gaze away, the fact that said woman was wearing the stereotypical virgin killer shirt, which only barely covered her crotch, each movement hinting at the tantalizing treasure within. Ensured that I was unable to do so.
Said girl coming to a stop in front of me, caused me to snap back to reality. Even as the pair of free-range titties jiggling merrily behind her scarlet shirt caused a line of drool to start leaking from my lips.
The white-haired woman's smile turned into that of a wolf which had caught an innocent lamb.
"There will be time enough for that later, first let's ensure you have the stuff necessary for your…trip." Said the woman while leaning forward somewhat, folding her arms underneath her breasts and pushing them upwards. "First let's start by upgrading your nanites and ensuring that your new armor is a proper fit." She said while taking one of my arms in her own and gently starting to lead me further within the laboratory's depths.
Although distracted by the sight and the promises of things to come both, something which 2B had said caused me to blink and turn towards her.
"But won't Fay start to worry and—"
A naughty smile formed on the girl's lips. "Not to worry beloved—"
x
xxx
x
She was one of the most famed Jedi across the stars and her attunement with the light-side of the Force was matched by few, she had been traveling the breadth and width of the galaxy for centuries on end, and her patience was nearly limitless.
The door opened and a dour faced businessman left the room beyond after one last round of pleasantries with the brightly lit office's occupant.
Surely, it was her turn no—
"Madam Pinch?" said a voice. "President Bahha will see you now if you please," the voice continued while its owner's eyes were fixed on hers and an evil grin spread across the redhead's lips.
Fay bit her lip and remained silent, opting instead to sink deeper into the comfortable embrace of the couch behind her. In contrast, the summoned woman was quick to rise and make her way across the lounge, vanishing moments later behind the black ornate doors which quickly slammed shut behind her, —of Durasteel make if Fay's suspicions were correct.
A soft giggle caused Fay's gaze to snap back towards the stone-faced secretary. That…that bitch! Why she ought too—No, no. The blonde woman started taking deep breaths while seeking to enter a light Force trance. She would not let the youngster get to her, she would— Her hands scrunched tight against the hems of her robe even as her eyebrow continued to twitch in irritation.
The second giggle some moments later made her hastily bite back a series of expletives.
x
xxx
x
"—I'm pretty sure I can buy us a tad more time." 2B said with a wink.
I shrugged my shoulders even as I started undressing, "if you say so, dear. So, where do we start?"
My answer came in the form of Sakura, the cheery girl coming into view, garbed in naughty nurse's gown and with a pep in her step while a giant cylinder filled with goo and an enormous suitcase, filled no doubt with my armor along other stuff was in her arms.
Trailing but a few feet behind her, eyes downcast and face burning crimson was a meek Gwyndolin.
The sight caused my lips to start to turn upwards and my dick to twitch.
x
xxx
x
A few hours, and many, many sessions of…vigorous exercise and physical fitness testing later —as well as a quick and thorough bath— the time came at last when I had to leave the laboratory. Quickly ascending back to the surface —or at least what passed for 'surface' here on Coruscant— level and weaving through restricted access rooms and corridors, I soon found myself waiting for Fay back at the foyer, my brain still on autopilot and a silly grin on my face. Memories of my girls thorough 'examination' of my body replaying through my mind.
Needless to say, even though I was looking outside, seemingly watching the crowds passing by, in truth I was doing anything but.
Taking another bite out of the nutrient bar in my hand and as my mind slowly returned to the physical world the taste hit me at last, valiantly managing to withhold a gag I looked at the innocent, almost cheery seeming bar in my hand, my brow furrowing in disgust.
"The hell?" I murmured, surely, I was mistaken, that couldn't be right now, could it? Risking another bite and nearly whimpering as a result, I found that no, it very well could
"2B, the hell, what the hell dear?!" I choked out, having managed to at last swallow the disgustingly dry and bland piece of cardboard masquerading as a nutrient bar.
"It's for your own good, Senpai." Sakura chirped, answering in place of my murder happy maido, an annoying cheer in her voice, the afterglow all but audible in her tone.
"M-my own good?!" I spluttered, even as I made sure to try and maintain the newest technique I, or rather my waifus, had filched out of the 'borrowed' holocrons, using their "Force potential" to trick the stupid things in divulging their secrets. "How is feeding me this," I waved the little piece of biological warfare in the air, thankfully the 'notice me not' field held, despite my inexperience with the technique. "For 'my own good'?! For Force's sake, I'm pretty sure at least a few Sith would award you honorary apprenticeships for its creation."
"That's exactly it," my first girl replied with her customary cool tone. "I distinctly remember those tales you used to tell me ~Master." I had a bad feeling about this. "More specifically the ones about that nutrient paste, 'soy lent green'?" Of fuck. "And I distinctly remember the almost orgasmic notes in your voice when speaking about it."
Well, feth me sideways.
"N-now 2B, I'm sure you are overacting. There is no need to—"
"Nah uh!" interrupted the purple haired girl, and I could almost see her shake her head. "Senpai doesn't get to stop eating solid food and subsist on just condensed nutrients until his body is fully developed and upgraded."
"I…concur, if it's about Master's safety…" well damn. If even Miss 'submission olympics' decided to chime in…
"Damnit. Fine!" I groaned. "If even Gwyndolin thinks its best, then I won't object any further. But, can't you make it taste at least slightly better?" I whined, manly complained. "This tastes worse than hard-tack for Force's sake!" And that was saying something, as I'd grown quite fond of the little jaw-cracking pieces during my stint in the army back in my old reality.
"We'll think about it," said 2B in that strict tone which she knew just how much I liked, sending shivers down my spine. "But, I suggest we continue this discussion later, dear. Look sharp, your 'master' is approaching." She finished with a teasing tone causing me to blink and turn towards the approaching Force signal.
Blinking I could see that Fay was indeed coming my way, and if the thinly veiled rage radiating off of her form was any indication, she wasn't happy.
Now the smart thing to do would be to let sleeping dogs lie and not poke the powerful Force mistress while she's angry. Which, naturally, is exactly what I did. At least, I remembered to drop my technique before she could start asking about it.
"Had fun, Sensei? I know I did!" I said, and not knowing when to leave well enough alone, I couldn't help but add, "and that…massage," I said with a lecherous smirk and an eyebrow wiggle, all but screaming what I'd been up too. "Mmh! It just hit the spot; you know?"
The look she sent my way almost made me squeak in fright and take a step back. Thankfully, whatever happened to her, and no matter how much it clearly annoyed her the woman was a Jedi through and through. And so, she didn't whip out her lightsaber and proceed to school me in the manner Sith Lords did to annoying cheeky apprentices.
Although, the idea of an evil Fay…
Images of a fallen elf lady clad in lacey bdsm gear, with mascara running down her tear tracks and wielding golden whips. Akin to an evil Galadriel run through my head, causing me to shudder and my pants to grow uncomfortably tight.
"Bow before me, apprentice—"
"I can tell you are thinking something silly once more my dearest apprentice." Murmured the very same woman in a tired tone, causing me to blink and snap back to reality, before she sighed, visibly regaining control of her emotions. "As for your question…it was an…experience, let's leave it at that." She said, her annoyance once again threatening to spill forth, choosing not to comment at all about what I all but admitted I'd been up to.
"Mr. Bahha was a delightful conversationalist," she said instead and a hint of smile graced her lips for a second there. Way to go 2B! "His… excellent, secretaryon the other hand," I have a suspicion that that's not the word you wanted to use there beautiful. "Well, let's just say, that as much as I would love to accompany you again in any such trips in the future. Unless there is a truly pressing reason to, I trust you can find the way yourself, yes?" she asked, or more like commanded.
I held back a snort. "Aye, aye Sensei." I said with a mock salute, causing Fay to shake her head with a snort. If you think I mind you have another thing coming lady.
"In any case, you've got what we came here for, apprentice?" she asked and I tapped the bulky suitcase held in my arm with a grin, eliciting a thud out of it.
"It's all in here, Sensei." I said, and it was even the truth for once! Or, mostly at least. Thankfully the time it took to climb out of the building's bowels and the time spent waiting for the blonde woman to arrive had been just enough for me to grow accustomed to the sensation of a thousand tiny little feathers dancing across my body underneath my clothes.
For you see, my new and improved under armor as well as the paper-thin plates covering it were made partially out of what could quite accurately be described as 'liquid polymemetic alloy jr'. A.k.a. big self-coordinating metallic molecules a.k.a something heavily inspired by the T-1000 from terminator 2.
I held back the urge to giggle. So, I hadn't grown quite as accustomed as I would have liked. The second 'skin' covering me, being ticklish as fuck.
Fay, obviously sensing something amiss, looked at me strangely.
"Everything ok, Ani?"
Stifling another giggle, I hastily nodded my head even as I turned and started power walking towards the nearest transport station, eager to head back to the Temple. My gait only a tad awkward.
"Just peachy, sensei! I simply remembered something funny."
"Oh, please do share then if you would be so kind. I love good jokes."
Fuck.
"Err, it's kinda raunchy, it's Tatooinian humor, you see."
The woman, having caught up to me, looked down, her eyes meeting mine even as an indulgent smile appeared on her lips.
"Ani, I know that I don't look it, but I'm..wise enough to not get offended at a simple joke."
"You were about to say old there, weren't you?" I pointed out.
"Wise." She answered simply with a frightening smile.
Heading the Force's warnings for once, I merely nodded, ok then. On the one hand, fuck. I had to think or more like remember a good joke, on the other…well, I'd heard quite a few nice ones back within the various establishments of ill repute back on Tatooine. Hmm, how did that one go? Eh, feth it, I'll improvise.
"One Hutt, one Bounty hunter and one Si—Jedi walk into a bar…"
x
xxx
x
Amidst the scholars of the galaxy the debate had been raging furiously over the past millennia, in regards to whether she was sapient or not. Had she cared too, the Force could have settled the matter in but a few moments, but, unfortunately for said scholars the galaxy spanning energy field had bigger things to worry about.
Now granted, she was not sapient in quite the same way that say, humans, were. But, if she bothered to communicate clearly and in a manner that the various species could understand, they would find her a delightful conversationalist no doubt.
And she had emotions of her own as well, the closest analogue, amidst the mortal species, for the emotion she was feeling right now would be irritation.
Her would be administrator, or what the lower races called 'the chosen one' was being a headstrong, foolhardy self-gratifying jerk, who cared little about how his actions would impact her and her plans. The worst part was that her 'daughter', the so called 'dark-side' was all but egging him on.
It was like the pair of idiotic thrill seekers were made for one another.
Hyperspace pathways wobbled imperceptibly and stars dimmed and brightened as the Force did what every sys-admin does when confronted with idiots and their unreasonable demands, namely she started cursing right before sighing and getting right into implementing said unreasonable demands.
With a cosmic sigh, she softly nudged a few threads before putting the entire matter out of her mind, letting the chips fall where they may, and focusing back on protecting the galaxy. Luckily, aside from a few half-hearted probing strikes, no major intrusion was attempted in those few brief moments of inattention.
Elsewhere, in a certain planet and inside a certain building the spark of mischief within a certain young togruta was fanned, and with an impish grin sent towards her partner's way, she shunted a hefty amount of Force energy down her feet and, after letting her training saber crash to the floor, started sprinting in the opposite direction.
"Ahsoka! Wait, come back!"
"Catch me if you ~can~!" singsonged the girl, ignoring the teen's shouts as she quickly darted around the corner, vanishing from view.
Obi-wan let out a tired exhale, and pinched her nose with her arm, her new mechanical arm. Which, if Ani's words were to be believed was but a temporary measure. In her heart, the blonde dearly wished it to be so. As said artifice of steel and carbon felt cold, dead, and revolting to her senses. The limb all but dead to the Force and her senses.
"So, you're gonna let her get away? Just like that?" purred a voice from a few feet away, making the girl's eyebrow twitch. "I expected better from you, oh great knight."
Obi-wan turned her head slightly side-ways and in an entirely un-jedi like behavior gave the brunet the stink eye while flicking off the saber held in her biological limb, the azure beam disappearing with a soft hiss.
She just couldn't catch a break, could she? Indeed, after the…fiasco in Naboo, nearly the very moment she had had her new limb fitted, the council had all but demanded that she undertake her knighthood trials. Which she did, proceeding to ace them. And as a result, she was now a newly minted bona fide Jedi knight.
One tasked with making sure that, 'Skywalker's taint did not infect the younglings who had interacted with him.' Master Windu's own words. Or in plainer words, making sure that Ahsoka did not start getting…ideas.
Seeing the hopeful glimmer within the older Jedi's eyes when he gave her, her orders, had forced Obi-wan to bite her tongue. And not reveal that it was already too late, said spaceship having launched quite some time ago.
"Shut it Serra." Snarked Obi-wan, annoyed enough that the thought of proper honorifics was the last thing in her mind. Her words, if anything caused the cat like smirk on the padawan's lips to grow. The Knight jerked her head in the direction the young togruta had run off to, the movement eliciting a brief stab of phantom pain out of her wound. "After her." She said, her tone snappish, causing the smirking girl resting with her back against the plain wall to push off of it and give her a two-finger salute.
"Aye, aye General Kenobi~" her words caused Obi-wan to groan in despair. First Ani, now her as well. When she next saw the little brat, she would— Letting out a sigh she started running after her charge, letting the Force guide her even as the padawan, now Knight, fed her negative feelings into said cosmic field.
But, a small ember of annoyance remained, despite her best efforts. For in contrast to her circumstances, her Mas—old Master was currently 'living it up' so to speak. What with him being a guest within the 'organization's own private hospital while they slowly fixed him up. And what did Obi-wan get? More work of course!
Now don't get her wrong, she hadn't begrudged her Mas..old Master his time off. After all, he had also come worryingly close to death. And whereas she had only lost one arm… In any case she hadn't minded, not at the beginning. But when she called in to see how he was doing, only to be met with the sight of an overly joyous man, well, she had become suspicious. When seconds later she had heard someone whisper behind the camera to 'pass the bong'…
Obi-wan held back a grumble.
"You better pick up the pace, what will the people say if they see a fat Jedi Knight?" teased her friend from further up ahead.
Obi-wan just sighed.
x
xxx
x
With a mix of intuition and some guidance by the Force, the pair soon found themselves within the Temple's spaceship hangar.
The sounds of engines and people working on various ships buffeted their ears, alongside the gusts of wind generated by the various vehicles taking off or landing.
Spotting a vaguely familiar Jedi Technician some distance away, Obi-wan swiftly made her way towards the man, Serra trailing after her.
"Excuse me." She said, remembering to raise her voice enough so that she could be heard over the loud noises and cacophony going on all around them.
The man, startled, put down the data-slate held in one of his hands atop the barrel right in front of him, his mug of caf, held in his other limb following right after before he turned towards the pair.
"Yes? How can I help you?" he said, right before his eyes widened momentarily before squinting in suspicion, while he rubbed his gloved fingers on his chin. His gaze searching. Obi-wan could feel Serra's revulsion in the Force behind her, for the man's gloved fingers were coated in a thick layer of engine grease which he seemed both aware of and unbothered by. "Aha!" he crowed triumphantly at last. "You are Qui-gonn's brat, aren't you? And you," he turned towards Serra. "You are the old goat's apprentice, no?"
The newest knight smiled softly in reply, "Yes, and we were hoping you could help us?"
"I knew it!" the man mumbled to himself, happy to have guessed correctly, before focusing back on the pair. "How—" the reverberating growl of a particularly loud engine igniting right at that very moment caused him to stop, until a few seconds later said engine and the ship it was attached too excited the temple. "As I was saying, how can I help you girls?"
"We are looking for a little togruta girl," said Serra from right next to her, the padawan absentmindedly playing with one of her braids, making the man's eyes swivel in her direction. "About this tall, and—" she continued on, describing Ahsoka's appearance. "We know that she passed through here recently."
A snort left the man's lips, "Little spitfire? Aye, I saw her." He said and jammed his thumb over and behind his back. Pointing at a sleek ship resting nearly at the opposite end of the hangar. "Last glimpse I had of her, she was rushing in that direction, maybe she even managed to sneak inside that thing."
Obi-wan frowned as she gazed at the sleek, silver-coated vessel and its…garish shape. "That's not one of ours, is it?" she asked making the technician snort.
"You can be fething certain that it ain't." He said with a snort, and Obi-wan's heart sunk, a bad feeling beginning to form in her gut. "As I hear it, that new padawan that's all the rage? Sky-something?." Force dammit! She knew it. "Well, he pulled some strings, or begged or something and his corpo overlords sent him a ship for the mission he is about to head off with his Master." The man shook his head even as his voice held a tone of wonder. "A Jedi who also has an office job…will wonders never cease?" he mused. "Although, I would give my prized wrench to be able to study this beauty's innards, I wonder what secrets she holds…"
Scooting a few feet backwards from the excited engineer, the girls quickly thanked him for his help and bid him farewell. Swiftly making their way down the ramp and to the lower floor and making a beeline for the ship, and the familiar Force presence that they could even now feel hiding within.
"Say, Obi-wan?" her new friend asked, a tone of wonder in her voice.
The blonde turned towards her friend, "What is Serra?"
"Why does it look like a penis?" she asked, her finger pointed at the ship which clearly resembled male genitalia, from the shape of its tip to the base, where its twin engines were located.
Obi-wan groaned and held back a sob.
"I'm sure that it's for a good reason, if you ask the engineers who designed it, they would tell you, I'm sure." She said instead. Right, it was definitely due to that. It certainly had nothing to do with Ani and his weird sense of humor.
The girl by her side snorted, "Sure. Personally, I think that the pipsqueak had something to do with it."
x
xxx
x
"Ahsoka, where are you?" shouted the Knight the moment she stepped into the, very spacious, vehicle. Followed right after by her friend joining her.
"Come out brat, the joke's gone on long enough."
An impish giggle from further inside the ship was their only answer.
They gazed at one another.
"Shall we?"
The future Mistress of Soresu just shrugged. "We came all this way, might as well." She said, eliciting an agreeing nod out of her friend.
A few minutes of walking later they, at last, found their quarry. The little togruta hiding within a room deep within the bowels of the ship and behind a column in the center of the room. And even though both sides knew the jig was up, the girl still refused to give up.
With an irritated sigh leaving their lips the pair stepped inside the room. Obi-wan making sure to close the door behind her before joining Serra in staring at the little figure, whose sides protruded from each corner of the thin black cylinder.
"Ahsoka, come on. We must be off." Tried the blonde. "Besides, we did find you, did we not?"
"Nuh uh!" came the childish denial.
Serra pinched her nose with a groan. "Enough of this." She said and made a gesture at Obi-wan, right before darting left, knowing that the blonde would mirror her.
Indeed, Obi-wan did just that, and with a squeal of surprise and delight they succeeded in rousing Ahsoka from her hiding spot. Unfortunately, in doing so they made the girl stumble. But, as she was about to fall her arm shot out, desperate for any kind of leverage with which to stop herself. Instead, her fumbling fingers smashed against an innocuous button.
Alarms started blaring all around them, the door behind them locking with an ominous 'click' while a dark colored fog started seeping in from the vents in the corners of the room.
Serra, due to her own slight interest in engineering and her tendency to browse the holonet from time to time, was the first to realize their predicament.
"Obi-wan!" she shouted, her panicked tone making said girl's eyes snap towards her friend. The tiny girl she was in the process of helping stand up momentarily forgotten. "It's—" alas, before the girl could further expand on the situation, or reach for the sabers attached to the belt on her hips, the Carbon-freezing machine activated, far faster than she expected it too—but then again this was the 'organization's' tech. All but flash freezing the trio in place as a result.
Outside the room and the ship, life continued on, those who mattered among the Temple's denizens not finding out about said event until it was already too late to do anything about it.
x
xxx
x
In short order we made it back to the Temple, gods how I hate public transport, blegh! And even quicker we made our way down to the hangar. Our ship already prepped and waiting, loaded with all the goodies we might need in the coming trip ahead. Chief among them, actual food! As for the nutrient bars which my girls had no doubt packed. Well, I could throw them down the throats of my enemies. Maybe they would choke on them?
"We can always delay the trip some, if you don't feel alright, my padawan." The beautiful woman by my side tried one last time. Causing me to roll my eyes.
"No need too, sensei. It was allergies, just like I told you." And indeed, I hadn't had a sniffle for hours now. "Besides, I can see that you are clearly excited for the trip too." I said, giving a nod towards the overstuffed bag slung over her shoulder. The bag which she had all but rushed to her quarters to get the minute we stepped out of the hovercar.
"Merely the necessary provisions my apprentice, I assure you." She replied with a mysterious smile.
Right, whatever. "In any case, it would be bad manners to back out now," I said and pointed further up ahead, where a clearly nervous red-skinned woman was waiting. "After all, telling our clearly anxious guest, the guest may I remind you which we asked to come here today, to turn back now would besmirch the Jedi's good name, wouldn't it?" I asked my sensei, my tone innocent even while I struggled not to laugh. Right, as if I cared about the Jedi's good name.
Fay merely gave me an indulgent smile, "So, that's her then?"
I nodded. "Aye, dem's them hot cheeks."
The elven beauty sighed. "We really need to do something about that potty mouth of yours, as well as that libido."
"You can't fix what's perfect!" I hastily replied, even as I quickened my step and all but dashed towards the zeltron woman, all so that I could console her of course. Not that I was worried or anything by Fay's words. Nope!
"H-hi!" squeaked the red-skinned beauty the moment we reached her. "I t-thank you honored Jedi, for agreeing to h-help m—" gone entirely was the spirited young woman I had met back in the alley some time ago. The sycophantic ass kissing was almost enough to make me gag. That was Lily's kin—err canon palps kink, not mine.
"Can it with the bull." I said, my tone snappish, causing the girl's eyes to widen and Fay's head to turn towards me in curiosity.
"E-eh?"
"I didn't agree to help you so that I could have my ass kissed." I said instead. "If I wanted that I would have joined the senate. So, cut it with the fake bullshit and let's get on with it. And before I forget, Sensei, Syveri Lori. Syveri, meet my Jedi Sensei. The awesome Fay. Now come, we have a flight to catch and a future friend to save." I said and spun around, towards my new ship. The sight of it drawing a giggle out of me, irritation starting to leave me.
Behind me, Syveri turned towards my sensei.
"Err, apologies if I sound silly, but I was given to understand that most people call you 'Masters'? Your students especially?" she asked, her voice laced with confusion.
In response my sensei giggled, the sound of her crystal-like voice causing my trousers to tighten even as a groan left my lips and I picked up my pace.
"Well, normally you would be correct. But my young apprentice here has an interesting view in regards to the whole subject." Fay mock whispered, humor coating her tone.
Syveri blinked, "really?"
"Oh yes, let me tell you—"
I all but started running.
x
xxx
x
My fingers softly caressed the control stick, before slowly, in an almost sensual motion they proceeded to wrap around it and the throttle both. Biting back a moan I instead opted to all but slam the throttle back, the engines immediately blazing hot red and the centrifugal force, courtesy of the temporarily disabled inertia dampeners slamming me back and into the pilot's seat. The g forces, courtesy of the stupid levels of acceleration drawing an outline of my body in the chair's edges.
"Woohoo!" a maniacal grin split my lips as with a mix of instincts, experience and the Force I barely avoided the various obstacles in our path. Wheezing by them as we exploded out of the hangar's open bays. Immediately I yanked the control stick backwards, altering our trajectory upwards. Aiming for the blackness of space. Right after, and with a small application of the Force, I nudged a few buttons and the inertia dampening field was fully re-activated.
A contented sigh left my lips, it was almost as if this ship was made for me. Oops, oh wait. It was! Mhahaha!
The sound of the cockpit's door opening drew my attention. Gazing backwards my eyes met Fay's own. A rare expression of mild annoyance could be found on her face. Her very disheveled hair and face. Oops?
"My dear apprentice," she started, quick breaths leaving her lips. "When I said you could 'fly us out' this was not what I had in mind." She said in a tight-lipped tone.
"Ehehehe, sorry?"
The edges of doorframe, held in her grip, started to groan in protest. The metallic edges mind you.
I started to pale but luckily, I was saved by the bell, for behind Fay the sound of puking could be heard.
The elf sighed. "Take us to the 'gate'." She said, and her eyes were fixed with mine. "Without any more stunts like this."
"Aye, aye!" I squeaked, before focusing on just said task. Pretty soon, courtesy of the craft's spectacular engines the special hyperspace gate started coming into view. For despite its luster, this ship paled in comparison to Arcadia. Thus, it needed a bit of external help in order to jump halfway across the known galaxy in one go. And of course, this beaut did not contain Arcadia's more…special drives.
The 'woosh' of the cockpit's door opening sounded once more behind me. In the Force, I could feel two signatures entering the modestly sized room.
"Err, I'm pretty sure that…that is not what a gate is supposed to look like." Squeaked Syveri her tone well and truly flustered.
"Indeed, it isn't." Said Fay, her tone flat as she came to a stop next to my chair, folding her arms underneath her delicious bust and fixing me with her gaze. "I held my tongue when it came to the ship's shape but this…care to explain apprentice?" she asked, her tone sweet.
Beads of sweat started trailing down my back while I stared dead ahead, making sure to align the ship properly with the approaching gate.
"Haven't got a clue, you'd have to ask the engineers. I'm sure there is a good reason." I mumbled; my voice stone cold even as I was cackling like mad on the inside. Still, just to be certain I strenuously avoided the woman's gaze.
Fay's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Hmm."
By our side, the beautiful Zeltron woman simply shook her head. "What did I get myself into?" she muttered.
With one last check, ensuring proper alignment and after the ship's computer had finished its communication with the gate, causing a thin white strip of line to begin forming straight down the middle. I grinned madly and kicked the engines to full gear. "To Infinity and Beyond! Let's spread those cheeks! Mhahahaha!" I cackled. The ship proceeding to rush and almost slam into the vagina shaped hyperspace gate.
Thin, needle like white lines covered our view as we disappeared into hyperspace.
x
xxx
x
This one had been half written for something like a few weeks already, but i just didn't have the desire to finish it until today that is.
Also the trailer for "obi-wan" came out, let's see where that one goes... Cautiously optimistic but i still fear that Disney will still find some way to fuck it up by the numbers...
And I'd been mulling over which of the girls to bring in this trip, but then I thought, 'fuck it, you are not getting payed for this, do what you like, throw in the whole kitchen sink, see where it goes :P'
Next up: probably the gamer Jaune story. We'll see.