The Day Middle-earth Stood Still

By: Neko-chan



A/N: Well...here it is! Chapter Five! I know that I haven't updated for a while...sorry! u.u;; I've been busy. (Plus too, I've gotten death threats on some of the stories I haven't updated in _months_.) So Neko-chan has been one very busy cat-girl. x.x;; Oh, well! I'm updating now! *eye shift, eye shift* And I won't get any death threats on this story, will I?

Sean: You're paranoid.

Neko-chan: No, I'm not! Just covering all of my bases!

Sean: Again I say: You're paranoid.

Neko-chan:....¬.¬ At least _I'm_ not a Hobbit-boy.

Sean: P

Neko-chan: P

Sean: P

Neko-chan: P

~*And so it continues...*~



Disclaimer: Neko-chan is a very poor (but hyper!) cat-girl and has no money. So if a person decides to sue, then all they'll be getting is pocket lint. (And not even _Collector's Edition_ pocket lint, either!) Life's tough; get a helmet! (Ne...I love that quote from Boy Meets World. *_*) Anyway...the point of all of this pointless rambling (Ooooo...I just contradicted myself!) is that Neko-chan does NOT own any of the Middle-earth characters. She doesn't own the Frying Pan of Doom, either. Patricia C. Wrede does, but Neko-chan likes to borrow it to bonk annoying *innocent grin* people with it. And Sean owns himself and Neko-chan owns herself.



Chapter Five

Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Aragorn, and Gandalf all stared in amazement at the four Hobbits and their "brother," all of whom were currently involved in a feeding frenzy, each vying for the last Krispy Kreme. All they _could_ do was stare in horror as Sean, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin wrestled for the _very last_ Krispy Kreme. Since Sean was on the Varsity wrestling team, he was the most experienced at wrestling. And so he went for the easiest solution: He sat on Frodo and Merry, stuffing the donut in his mouth, and having Sam and Pippin gnaw on his legs like little terrier dogs.

"What devilry is this?!" Aragorn exclaimed as the five older males slowly backed away from the Hobbits and the Hobbit-like boy.

"I do not know!" Gandalf answered and brandished his staff in front of himself like a club.

Suddenly, a high-pitched giggle came from where Bryanna had last sat. Dreading what they would find, the Elf, the Dwarf, the two Men, and the wizard slowly turned around, readying themselves for battle. And there Bryanna sat, eating her 542th Pixy Stix and giggling to herself occasionally.

Sean paused in mid-chew and looked at what everyone else was staring at. As he noticed that Bryanna was on a sugar high, a feeling of foreboding overcame him. "Dun dun duuuuuun...." he mumbled to himself and giggled also.

"I have a bad feeling about all of this..." Legolas murmured as he slowly backed away from the seemingly insane red-headed teenager.

Bryanna giggled and ate another Pixy Stix. "What is wrong with the lassie?" Gimli asked in concern as his eyes crinkled in extreme worry for the red-head.

The girl gasped in horror and the Pixy Stix fell from her lifeless hands. "I AM NOT A COLLIE DOG!" she suddenly yelled and jumped in her feet.

Hobbit-boy and his brethren ignored all that was going on and started digging through Bryanna's backpack, looking for more Krispy Kremes and other ambrosia-like food. He and the Hobbits hit pay dirt when they found five Krispy Kreme boxes, a package of pure sugar, two 24-packs of Mountain Dew, and a box of Fruitopia.

"She's been holdin' out on me!" Sean grumbled to himself as he stuffed another Krispy Kreme into his mouth and gulped down three Mt. Dew drinks. The Hobbits stared at him; then they, too, each grabbed a box of Krispy Kremes and gulped down a bottle of Fruitopia. Their eyes widened as the pure sugar hit their systems.

"I am _not_ a dog!" Bryanna exclaimed as she stamped a foot. "And _especially_ not a collie dog. If I ever _do_ become a dog, then I would want to become a husky. Or maybe a wolf hybrid. But _definitely_ not a collie dog!"

"Lassie," Gimli began, holding up his hands soothingly, as a person does with wild animals.

"I AM NOT A COLLIE DOG!!!"

Continuing as if the girl had never interrupted, Gimli said, "Please calm down. We mean you no harm. You've stayed out in the sun for too long. You must come with us into the shade and rest yer wee limbs, lassie."

Unbeknownst to Bryanna, Boromir was sneaking up behind her, clasping a length of rope. The Ring Group (except for Sean, because he knew that this was how Bryanna acted when she got hyper) thought that the poor, poor girl had gone insane. So they decided (through repeated eye shifts) that they would wrap her up like a mummy with the rope and then tie her down to Bill the pony.

Suddenly, Boromir pounced and landed on the much smaller girl. The two began rolling on the ground, Boromir trying to wrap her up and Bryanna trying to squirm away. All too soon, the "war" began.

"Let me go, you overdeveloped monkey!!"

"OW! She pinched me!"

"Ha HA! Take that, you monkey! And take THIS, too!"

"No biting!!"

"HA! And this!"

"NO NIPPLE TWISTING!"

"And this!"

"OW! No scratching!"

"Freedom! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!"

"Ooomph! She just kicked me!"

"Get offa me, you overgrown human tree! You're squishing me!"

BONK!!

Finally, Boromir managed to crawl away, bruised, bitten, kicked, punched, scratched, twisted, pinched, and bonked, collapsing at Gandalf and Aragorn's feet. "I...I failed in my quest," he managed to gasp out before he passed out.

Aragorn blinked and looked from the unconscious Boromir to Bryanna, who was sitting on the ground, the Frying Pan of Doom clasped firmly in her hands and eating a new Pixy Stix stick. "She must be _much_ stronger than she looks," he commented softly, watching the smaller girl with a Ranger-trained eye.

"Either that, or she feels no shame in fighting dirty," Gimli added.

"I would stake my money on the latter theory," Gandalf finished.

Bryanna glared darkly at the three males and they abruptly shut up. Then she turned her attention to Legolas, staring at him unblinkingly. "Pretty, pretty Elf," she mumbled to herself. Legolas's eyes widened and he quickly backed away from the red-headed girl, climbing a tree as fast as he was able.

"Legolas...come down!" Bryanna demanded as she continued to stare unblinking at Legolas and his new hiding spot.

The tree's leaves shivered. "No!"

The tall red-headed girl stood up and stamped her foot. "Come down!" she demanded again, idly eating yet another Pixy Stix.

"No!!"

As Bryanna's attention was directed at the terrified Elf, Aragorn slowly snuck up behind her. Then, before she could react, he rapidly wrapped her up with the rope and the young teenager then resembled a mummy. A _very_ upset mummy.

"Let me go! Let me go! LET ME GO!!!!" Bryanna yelled at the top of her lungs, a Pixy Stix held firmly between her lips.

"I think we may need to gag her also," Gandalf commented as he plugged his poor ears from Bryanna's yells and demands to be set free. Aragorn nodded in agreement and quickly ripped off a strip of his tunic. Then, when Bryanna was in mid-yell, he stuffed in it her mouth.

"MFTSHPDSFTFFFFFFT!!!!!"

Gimli winced. "Even gagged the lassie's loud." Aragorn and Gandalf winced also and debated whether or not they should plug their ears. Sean just continued to eat Krispy Kremes, drinking Mt. Dew, and basically ignoring Bryanna. He was used to this--when Bryanna was upset, she let everyone know..._loudly_.

Sighing, Gimli threw the girl over his shoulder and tossed her onto Bill like a sack of potatoes. Bryanna let out an 'Oooomph!' and glared at the Dwarf, Aragorn, and Gandalf.

She wiggled a bit, looking like a worm, and tried to get into a more comfortable position. She grumbled to herself, probably planning what she was going to do in retaliation to Gimli, Strider, and the wizard. Suddenly, she let out a shriek of fury when she spotted Sean and the Hobbits going through her backpack.

She kicked out, except that she was wrapped up, so that didn't work. Instead, she accidently kicked Bill the pony.

Bill let out a horsey scream and reared on his back legs. Then, before anyone could react, he lunged forward and ran into the Old Forest, leaving the others far behind.

* * *

"I didn't do it!" Sean abruptly exclaimed and hid the many sugary foods behind his back. That left the Hobbits red-handed. They looked down at the food and drinks in their hands, to the elder males, then back to the food. Then, they slowly put down their food and backed away, trying to look innocent.

Aragorn sighed and growled to himself in frustration--now he had to deal with _this_!

"I told you that she would be a nuisance!" Boromir said, pounding a large fist into his open palm. "You shouldn't have let Elrond cow you into taking them! They're more trouble than they're worth!" Then the large man flushed and mumbled something only Legolas could hear. The Elf suddenly snickered.

Gandalf looked at Legolas suspiciously, then turned his attention to Boromir. "What is it that he finds so funny?" the wizard asked, raising a busy eyebrow in question.

Boromir looked down and a slow flush crawled up his neck to light up his face. Again, he mumbled something. Gandalf raised his other eyebrow and continued to look expectant. Sighing in defeat, Boromir said, "And she scares me."

The rest of the Ring Group started laughing while Boromir continued to get redder and redder. The Hobbits and their brethren (AKA Hobbit-boy...) started laughing also, their giggles high-pitched and bordering on hysterical. The Elf, the Dwarf, the wizard, the Ranger, and the Man stopped laughing and stared at the halflings and Sean with ill-disguised fear. It was almost as if...Bryanna had come and possessed them! Just the thought of having to deal with six versions of the red-head was almost enough to make them fall to their knees and start blubbering.

The two sides sat on opposite sides of the camp fire, not blinking and never taking their eyes off of the other. Suddenly, a high-pitched giggle burst from Pippin's mouth and Boromir let out a girly sounding scream.

"Oh, dear," Gandalf murmured to himself and rubbed his temples tiredly. "I believe that this is going to be a _very_ long day."

"The first thing we need to do is get those...things...away from the laddies," Gimli added, gesturing to Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, and Sean's newly reacquired junk food. Slowly, so as not to startle them with any sudden movements, the Dwarf made his way to the Hobbits and the Hobbit-like boy.

Gimli had almost taken Sam's food when the Hobbit suddenly lunged forward and snapped at the older Dwarf, nearly taking off all of Gimli's fingers on his left hand.

The Dwarf yelped and quickly backed away, running into the forest so he could find a cave that was snug, comfortable...and _safe_. Those Hobbits (and Hobbit-boy) were much more dangerous than they looked! he thought to himself as he sat in a corner of his cave, huddled, and rocking back and forth in fright. He'd never make the same mistake twice! Not ever!

"A long day. A _very_ long day," Gandalf said softly as he continued clutching his head. What had he ever done to deserve this? True, leaving Bilbo alone to face the dragon wasn't very nice, but that was besides the point! And there was that time with... But no, he wouldn't think of that. "A long, long day..."

Another girly scream came from Boromir as Merry latched onto his leg like a rottweiler and refused to let go, gnawing occasionally; Pippin was attempting to climb the tree in which Legolas was hiding in; Sean was making his Gimli shrine (even going as far as to collect Gimli's old underwear and put them in a place of honor); and Frodo and Sam were chasing Aragorn around the campsite while very unman-like whimpers were coming from his mouth. Who ever knew that halflings could move so _fast_?

"A very, very, very, _very_ loooooooong day......"



"Bill, c'mon, stop already!" Bryanna begged while she was carted around like a sack of potatoes on the pony's back, yet another Pixy Stix planted firmly between her lips. She had managed to spit out the gag, but that hadn't helped much. She had found out--the hard way--that Bill was _very_ good at ignoring her. Must have come in handy when he had been Bill Ferny's pony. "Biiiiiiiiiii~iiiiiiiiiillllllllll," Bryanna whined. "Stop! C'mon, stop!! Do you understand that I'm being rubbed raw where I never previously thought that it was possible? Stoooooooo~oooooooop!!!!"

When _that_ didn't work, Bryanna tried her last resort: Bribery. "I'll give you an apple. A carrot. Some celery. Alfalfa. Lettuce. How about some sugar cubes? No horse has ever been able to resist the sugar cube!" No answer. Suddenly, a _brilliant_ idea struck Bryanna. (And no, it didn't strike her in the head. Okay...it did, but that's beside the point.) "How about if I get Sam, Frodo, Pippin, Merry, and Aragorn to rub you down while Legolas serenades you?"

Bill paused for a minute and tilted his head to the side. Then, he snorted.

Bryanna blinked. "Come again?" she asked. Another snort was her answer. "Sean? What about Sean?" This time, a series of snorts. Suddenly, Bryanna started laughing. "Why Bill, you old dog! Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Another snort, but this one sounded shyer than the rest. "Oh, I'm sure he feels the same way! Haven't you talked to him about all of this?"

And so passed the rest of the day, Bill and Bryanna discussing his romance prospects. She never did get what she wanted--Bill never set her down. But that was lost in her unholy glee and thoughts of how she could use this new information against Sean.



A/N: Well...chapter five is done! Next chapter: Bryanna actually _does_ find Tom Bombadil!! (Whoa...someone actually finishes their quest!!) The red-headed girl gets eaten by a willow tree and the rest of the Ring Group have to find their missing (insane) member while having to deal with four (well...five, if you include Sean...) hyper and sugar rushed Hobbits! Lions, tigers, and bears, oh my! ^_^