The Day Middle-earth Stood Still

By: Neko-chan

A/N: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! *ish crying 'cause she's laughing so hard* *gasps for breath* I loved the last chapter....I think that the whole "Bill-falling-in-love-with-Hobbit-boy" was particularly inspired. *eyelash bat* Anywho...I finally got my first death threat! *blows a kiss to Sean* I love you, too! ^_~ Heh heh heh heh heh......HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Sean: (And this is a direct quote, too! ^______^) My hatred for you knows no bounds. If this goes the way I think it will, I shall destroy you.

Neko-chan: Bah. You take things too seriously. . Besides, it was only for comic relief. Though...now I'm not so sure now. Have you seen the way that Bill's been starin' at ya?

Sean: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. And what about you?! You're weirder than _I_ am!!

Neko-chan: *blushes* Stop with all the compliments! *preens* And you say that I'm weird as if it were a BAD thing. And I DO make fun of myself!! Even look at all the scenes when I'm acting...myself! *grin grin*

Sean:.........¬.¬

Neko-chan: ^_^

Sean: P

Neko-chan: P

Sean: P

Neko-chan: ^_____________________________________^

Sean: o.o;;

~*And so, once again, it continues...*~



Disclaimer: Neko-chan owns nothing.....except herself. And I know that Old Man Willow doesn't talk....but lets just say that in this fan fic he 'mysteriously' gets the power to talk. ^__^



Chapter Six

"Wow! Really? Do tell!" Bryanna said, giggling over the new information that Bill had just snorted. (And some of you may be wondering...how in the heck does Bry know what Bill is saying?! My reply: It's a Bry thing. Ooooo....I just made a kinda rhyme! ^_^) "C'mon, c'mon!! Give me more details!!" the red-headed girl begged, trying to worm her way into a more comfortable position. She was still tied up...but didn't seem to mind that much anymore. The whining, the bribery, and the rub down was long forgotten...though she wouldn't have minded a rub down from Legolas, though.

The two had been discussing Bill's romance prospects for the whole entire day, and neither seemed to have grown tired of their subject. While Bill worried, Bryanna consoled him. The two had become fast friends.

Eventually, it grew dark in the Old Forest and the two had to stop. Bill, because he couldn't cart Bryanna around anymore. (Hey, there's only so much a pony can handle!) And Bryanna, because she decided that she had enough info to blackmail Sean for...oh, say the rest of his natural life. Both were tired, so it was natural that they didn't notice that Bill had accidently led them both into the Withywindle valley. The red-headed girl managed to squirm her way out of the rope (with many grunts, curses, and plans on how to get Aragorn and his conspirators back...) and then set about unloading Bill.

That done, Bryanna leaned back on a tree and sighed. "I wonder how we're gonna get the people we like?" she mused aloud, looking at Bill with a small little frown. "I mean...somehow, I don't think that Sean is gonna be too happy with all of this--and THAT is the understatement of the century--and Legolas has plenty of fangirls runnin' around chasin' after him." She sniffled a bit. "And I wanna get my LEGGIE-CHAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"

Bill winced. Even he was amazed at the decibels that a girl could reach. He shook his head and snorted.

"Pathetic?! What do you mean that I'm pathetic?! Just remember who's the pony that likes a human, buddy!" Bryanna shot back, sticking out her tongue. Bill returned in kind. Grumbling, the girl mumbled: "Well...you'll be lucky if Sean doesn't go on a killing spree 'cause he's suddenly had a urge for some glue."

Bill started to look green.

"Ha! Serves you right, you...you...you gay pony!" Bryanna gloated, leaning even further back on the tree. Bill started to look a little...miffed. But, before Bryanna could say another thing, the tree that she was leaning against suddenly opened up and swallowed her whole! The girl let out a little shriek and then was gone. Bill blinked, snorted, gloated, then meandered up the hill. Since the girl was gone, he was able to get Sean all to himself! The pony's eyes temporarily became stars and he began his search for the Ring Group once again.

Bryanna, on the other hand, wasn't having such a good time. "LET ME OUT!!!" a scream came from within the willow's trunk. It seemed to shudder a bit...then, suddenly, he spit out the teenage red-head with a loud "BLECH!!!"

And so Bryanna sat on the cold, wet, muddy ground...covered in willow saliva. "YOU...YOU...YOU ATE ME!!!!!!" she yelled and threw a rock at the willow. It shook its branches at her, the closest it could come to shaking a fist. She managed to get to her feet, making several sounds of disgust.

"I agree. You taste horrible!! The worst meal that I've had in millennia," a deep, booming voice said from somewhere over by the willow tree. "I never knew that food can taste as bad as you do until _you_ came along..."

The girl beamed. "Why, thank you!"

Old Man Willow seemed to blink. "That wasn't a compliment."

Bryanna blinked. "It wasn't?" She then glared. "You stupid tree! You're just lucky that I don't make aspirin out of ya!" Her glare darkened and she shook her fist as the said 'stupid tree.'

Old Man Willow shook a couple of branches at her.

Bryanna shook her fist harder.

Old Man Willow shook his branches harder.

Bryanna shook her fist even _harder_.

Old Man Willow shook his branches even _more_ harder.

Their 'who-can-shake-their-fist-and-or-branches-harder' contest was soon interrupted by the familiar song of...a certain Valar in a yellow hat! Bryanna blinked, then smiled. "TOM!!" she shrieked as loud as she could.

"Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo! Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow! Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!"

Bryanna squealed and quickly ran away from Old Man Willow, running so fast that she 'accidently' splattered the old tree with mud clumps. He grumbled to himself and mumbled something about how 'the young never respect their elders nowadays...'

"Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tooooooooom!" Bryanna squealed as she latched herself onto the smaller person. "I know that a lot of people make fun of ya and stuff...but I think that you're cool and that your poetry IS...kinda...somewhat...marginally...good!" She paused for a minute... "Oh, and can I have a hat _just like yours_???"

Tom Bombadil seemed startled. Who wouldn't be? But, before he could reply to _anything_ the teenager said...she took the hat right off his head and plunked it on her own...even though the yellow clashed _horribly_ with her red hair.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!" she giggled. "I'll treasure it forever and ever and ever!!!" She backed away and suddenly the air around her got darker. "Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Beware Gandalf, I shall show the world that my new yellow hat is _much_ better than your own!" She paused for a minute: "Or...maybe I can start a hat collection from the Middle-earth universe!!" Bryanna laughed quietly to herself while Tom Bombadil looked worriedly on. Then, suddenly, she struck a pose. "First stop yellow hat! Next step Gandalf's wizard hat! After that, I think I'll ask Saruman who does his nails and then maybe I'll..."

Her thought was left off when she noticed that Tom was staring at her strangely. "What?"

Tom shook his head. "Oh-ho! Nothing! Absolutely nothing..."

Bryanna blinked, then shrugged. She got a lot of that 'Nothing...absolutely nothing...' In fact, it was her opinion that there WAS something wrong...something seriously wrong with those weirdos who always looked at her oddly. She shrugged again. No matter. The world was filled with lots and lots of weirdos. She was just meeting her share of them.

Suddenly, an idea struck the red-headed girl!! She paused and thought it through: Tom wasn't _that_ good-looking of a guy (no offense to Tom or anything!!) and somehow-or-other he had managed to get a hot-looking woman for a wife. Maybe...maybe he'd be able to tell his secrets of the trade and then she would _finally_ be able to have Leggie-chan for herself! At this, Bryanna's eyes went starry. (But...we all know that her plan is _of course_ gonna fail, right? u.u;;)

"Toooooooooom," she began cordially and fluttered her eyelashes at him. "Can you do me a _big huge_ favor?"

Suspicious of this new...thing (meaning the girl...), Tom asked, "What would you have me do?"

Bryanna's eyes instantly went puppy-dog-like. "Can you pleeeeeeeeeeeease tell me how you were able to convince Goldberry to marry you? I mean...you must've _really_ put the moves on her in order to convince her! In fact, one of my friends would say that you were the Pimp Master!!"

"Pimp Master?"

"And then a couple of my other friends think that you're gay...'cause, I mean...you have this totally hot wife, but you don't have any kids. _I_ think that you're just waiting your time. I mean, you have forever, don't ya? And it's better to take it slow, anyway. I mean, how many kids end up in adoption centers because their parents didn't think things through? So, I commend you!! You're smarter than the average person! And I also think that they're just jealous. 'Cause...I bet that they'll _never_ get a girlfriend or wife that's as hot as Goldberry! Don't ya think so, too?"

"Ummmmm......yes?"

Bryanna nodded in a self-satisfied way. "Yup, I thought so. So....will you tell me your secret of how you won Goldberry?"

Once again, Tom blinked. "If I told you how I won her...will you give me back my hat?"

Bryanna gasped in horror. "The...the...the hat?! But...if I give it back, then it'll _completely_ ruin my plan to eventually take over the hats of Middle-earth!! You wouldn't want that to happen, now would you?"

"Ummmmm.....no?"

A nod. "I thought so. Smart of you, old Tom! Very smart! So, let us get back to the subject at hand. How _did_ you win Goldberry, Tom? Please tell me your great secret, sensei!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?????"

For the first time, Tom seemed depressed. "But I want my hat back!!"

"It's mine now!"

"That's because you stole it from me!!"

"Did not! You gave it to me!"

"I _did not_! You stole it!"

"I did not steal it from you! You gave it to me so I could add it to my eventual plan of taking over the hats of Middle-earth...while I'm on the subject, I wonder if I can take over the hats of the two blue wizards? I wonder where they are right about now... Anyway...how 'bout a truce. I'll consider giving it back to you IF and ONLY if you tell me how ya got Goldberry."

"No. I want my hat."

"MY hat."

"Mine."

"Mine."

"MINE."

"You're just delusional. It's mine."

"Mine!!!"

"MINE!!"

"MINE!!!"



A/N: And so ends chapter six!! _Will_ Bryanna ever discover Tom's secret? _Will_ the others find Bryanna again? Do they even _want_ to? (Boromir: NOOOOO!!) Bah. Go back to your group, you unman-like screamer. At least _I_ don't scream like a girl. (Boromir: You _are_ a girl.) Exactly. (Boromir: *ish confused*)