The Day Middle-earth Stood Still
By: Neko-chan
A/N: Yesh.....another chapter! Whoo-hoo! *does a little victory dance* And.....and I'm glad that everyone is enjoying this so far... It makes me feel so special...so touched...*reaches for Sean to use him as a kleenex*
Sean: HEY!! Get away from me! I'm not a tissue!!
Neko-chan: D......anywho, welcome, once again, to MY world...
Disclaimer: Neko-chan owns nothing but herself. She is only a poor, poor author whose only joy in life is to see people laugh.
Sean: Isn't that a bit melodramatic?
Neko-chan: Bah. If I can't get reviews for the humor genre, maybe I can get reviews 'cause they pity me so much!! ^_^ Brilliant idea, no?
Sean: You're pathetic...
Neko-chan: *ponders* You know what? Bill said _exactly_ the same thing to me...
Sean: x.x;;
Chapter Seven
"Do you have any more of those circular pastries with the hole in the middle?" Pippin asked as he jumped up and down in front of the taller boy. Sean blinked as his head followed Pippin's up and down movement. Maybe letting Bry give the Hobbits sugar hadn't been such a good idea. Probably one of her worst ones. Wait a minute...all of her ideas were bad! Just like how she blamed everything on his poor, poor self.
"I don't think so, Pip," Sean replied as he took a quick glance into the Bottomless Pit...which was otherwise known as Bryanna's backpack. How she could fit so much stuff in there mystified him. Just like how ALL women could fit all of their junk into those _tiny_ purses they all carried around. The ways of women were so much more complex than the ways of men...just give him a wallet and Sean was happy. Continuing, Sean said: "I think that Merry ate the last one."
Hearing this, Pippin pouted and hopped his way over to Merry. It seemed as if the poor Hobbit was now incapable of just plainly walking. Letting Bryanna give them sugar was _most definitely_ a bad idea. And it wasn't fair...she was off somewhere with Bill...and he was stuck here with the rest of the Ring Group. But, then again...this DID allow more Gimli worshiping sessions and DID give him a chance to steal more of Gimli's old underwear. But how, that was the ultimate question...
"Cousin, you are a pig!" Pippin's voice suddenly rang out. "I can't believe it! You ate the very _last_ of those yummy pastry...holey...thingies."
"And YOU, my dear cousin, ate the last of the mushrooms last night and you drank the last of that green bubbly drink that Mr. Sean gave to us out of Miss Bryanna's pack of her back! So I'M not the pig here, cousin!"
"YOU ate the last pastry holey thingie and you also ate the last of the radishes...and carrots...and celery...and potatoes...and--"
"So THAT'S where all of my vegetables went!" Sam exclaimed. The normally easy-going, quiet, and simple Hobbit was now aflame with anger. "I was saving those for our meals!" And then he threw a pot at Merry and Pippin, who ducked, and decided that it was wiser to stay closer to Gandalf and Aragorn...at least for a while.
The Hobbits are never going near sugar again, Sean thought to himself. Never ever ever. Never again. No way, no how. Over my dead body.
"Sooo.....Sam.....what WERE you going to make with all of those vegetables?" Sean asked cautiously as he edged toward the last two Hobbits, Sam and Frodo.
Sam beamed. "I was going to make my World Famous Tater Stew!"
Frodo chuckled. "It really IS world famous. All of the Hobbit wives in the Shire always come to Samwise Gamgee for cooking and gardening tips. Everyone loves him and he's well respected."
"Why...Why, I don't know what to say! Thank you, Mr. Frodo," Same replied, blushing furiously at the high praise coming his master's mouth. It wasn't everyday that someone complimented him and he rather enjoyed it. Especially if it came from someone he held in such high esteem.
"Mmmmmmm.......Tater Stew......." Sean drooled to himself. When had he last eaten? The morning seemed so long away... Fooooooooooood...................
"Excuse me, Sean," Frodo said, interrupting Sean's daydreams of food....and food....and food...and food......and you get the picture.
"Hmmmm?" Sean asked, only half-paying attention to the smaller Hobbit.
"Well....I was wondering...do you remember those many colored tubes that Bryanna was eating earlier before Bill took her into the Old Forest?"
Still only half-paying attention to Frodo, Sean said: "Mmmmhhhmmmm....."
"Can I please try one?" Frodo asked, looking anxiously up at the taller Hobbit-boy.
"Sur--WHAT?! Do you even know what they are?!" Sean exclaimed, finally paying attention to what Frodo was saying. "Frodo, listen, you DON'T want to try those. Those are called Pixy Stix. Do you know what they are? They're PURE SUGAR."
Pippin, who had been asking Aragorn as many questions as he could per minute (he was still on his sugar high and was therefore acting as Bryanna-like as he possibly could, much to the older males' dismay--and much to Boromir's terror...). "Sugar? Did you say sugar? I want some sugar!! Can I have some sugar??"
"Noooo......." Sean moaned and slowly backed away from the Hobbit, never taking his eyes off of the much-smaller figure. It...it was like a miniature Bryanna!! How could he deal with TWO Bryannas in the world when he couldn't even deal with ONE?!
His internal torment was suddenly interrupted by...a horsey snort. Sean blinked and turned around. And, of course, his lips were pressed against Bill the pony's. Bill got stars in his eyes but Sean...well, let's just say that Sean wasn't too happy about this little 'accident.' (Neko-chan: BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! *snickers*)
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the Hobbit-boy screamed and quickly dug through Bryanna's back pack (or, as the Hobbits' called it, the pack of the back), looking for several gallons of mouthwash. He would have nightmares for the rest of his life!! That...that scene would probably traumatize him until he was in his middle-ages!!! Whimpering in terror, he continued to look through Bry's pack, occasionally throwing things out from behind himself. Food flew...PJs flew...pictures of Legolas flew...a cat flew (how the heck one of Bryanna's cat ended up in her backpack was a mystery to Sean...and he didn't have the time to contemplate it now!!)...books flew...mouthwash flew...wait, he needed that!
Sean quickly backpedaled away from the backpack, grabbed the mouthwash, and chugged it all down in one huge gulp. He shuddered and gave Bill his darkest look. "One of these days, one of the Hobbits in the Shire is going to need glue, and guess who'll be the candidate for that?"
But Bill the Happy Pony didn't hear. He was busy swooning next to Sam, Frodo's servant giving the pony odd looks every now and again. He couldn't figure out what was wrong with the poor equine--it seemed as if he was in love. But that couldn't possibly be true. The pony was probably sick or something similar to that. Bill the pony couldn't _possibly_ be in love with Mr. Sean!
"Are you quite finished?" Aragorn asked, sighing, as he looked back at Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Sean.
"Are you quite finished? Are you quite finished? ARE YOU QUITE FINISHED?!" Sean yelled, walking around in circles while he muttered to himself. "No, I am NOT quite finished!! I just got kissed by a horse--"
"Pony," Sam interrupted.
"Pony, for Pete's sack. Would YOU be quite finished if a horse--"
"Pony," Sam corrected yet again.
"Pony kissed you? No. So I am SO not finished!" And, with that, he picked up the second bottle of mouthwash and gulped it down. "I hate horses," Sean muttered to himself as he walked closer to Gimli, keeping a blue-green eye on the pony. There was NO way he was going to let the pony get close to him at any point of time on this time. No way. Nu-huh. Not gonna happen.
"Bill is a PONY," Sam said once again, interrupting his thoughts.
"Bill is neither a horse nor is he a pony. He's glue." And that was that.
* * *
The Ring Group had been wandering around the Old Forest for several hours, checking almost all of the places where they believed that Bryanna could be. They even checked the Withywindle valley, but she wasn't there. Old Man Willow seemed somewhat disgruntled, though...
They wandered around some more, until Merry finally asked, "What if Miss Bryanna had actually managed to find Tom Bombadil and she's with him in his house at this very minute? I mean, it could be a possibility."
Sean snorted. "Bryanna? Find Tom Bombadil? Never in a million years. Trust me on this. There is no possible way for Bryanna to find Tom Bombadil...ever. There is just no way. I'd sooner believe her winning Legolas's heart than her actually finding someone or something that she's been looking for."
At this prospect, Legolas went green and was torn between the urge of hiding up in a tree and never coming down and of continuing the quest that he promised he'd see through to as far as he was able. But, then again...he never knew that....SHE was coming along. "Quiet, Sean!" he hissed softly. "You know not of what you speak! Be wary of what you say...your words have more power than you believe."
Once again, Sean snorted. "The day that Bryanna gets you to fall for her Legolas, is the day that either the world ends, Hell freezes over, and she meets Tom Bombadil."
Just then, a familiar rhyme was heard through the trees. Several seconds later, a bobbing yellow hat was seen in the trees, followed closely by another prancing figure. And Bryanna was reunited with the Ring Group.
She grinned smugly to herself, pulled Tom's yellow hat more firmly down upon her ears, and looked at Gandalf's hat with a dark glint in her eyes. She had come up with the 'Middle-earth Hat Conspiracy' plan and had decided to sloooooooowly take over the hats of Middle-earth. Nothing could stop her! She was invincible!! She was unstoppable!!!!! And if Sauron decided to try and stop her...well, she'd take his hat, too.
"Everyone," she began cheerfully, "I'd like you to meet Tom Bombadil, Pimp Master Supreme." Tom stepped forward, grinning, and gave a shy bow.
Gandalf blinked and looked at Aragorn quizzically. "What is a Pimp Master?"
Aragorn shrugged. "I have decided never to ask the girl any type of question. I'll just become more confused with her answer."
Gimli nodded. "Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to have a physician check them when we finally come to a city. I mean...this isn't how they could REALLY act, could it?"
"She...she...she...found....Tom...Bomb...Bombadil..." Sean said, his eyes glazed over. "How did she do that? It...it...can't...be...possible." Two double 'Thuds!' were heard. Bryanna blinked and looked down at the unconscious Sean and the unconscious Legolas.
Shrugging, she sat down and began to braid the passed out Elf's hair, petting him on the head occasionally. "What got into them?" she asked as she took back her backpack, dug around in it, and began to dye Legolas's hair purple.
Sam winced. Somehow, he didn't think that the Elf was going to like his new 'look.' "They both realized at the same time that you should be careful of what you say, Miss Bryanna," he answered respectfully. The girl blinked and began to dye another section of his hair green.
Then she shrugged. "Oh, really? I thought that Sean had fainted 'cause he had found out that Bill is in love with him. But I guess not..."
It was Boromir's turn to blink. "That isn't possible," he commented.
The girl's eyebrow rose. "It isn't? Well, what if I told you that Bill has a crush on YOU."
The Steward's son paled. "Whaaaaaaat?!" Then he followed Sean and Legolas's footsteps and was conscious no more. Bryanna poked him then cackled evilly to herself. Bill looked at Boromir, sniffed, then snorted.
The red-headed teenager nodded. "I agree COMPLETELY. Who'd want to have a crush on him? Hmmm.....I wonder if he has a hat..."
A/N: Yesh.....chappie seven comes to a close! But...what waits in store for our 'heroes' in chapter eight? And who IS this strange new girl that has a Pippin and Merry obsession?