The Day Middle-earth Stood Still

By: Neko-chan

A/N: Yesh, yesh!! The moment you have all been waiting for!!....more making fun of Hobbit-boy!

Sean: ¬.¬;;

Neko-chan: ^_______^ Actually, no. Lisa finally comes!! Everyone, I'd like you to meet the pervy Hobbit-fancier!

Lisa: WHAT?!

Sean: Now you know what it's like to be stuck with her throughout this whole entire story with no one else for her to pick on!!

Lisa: But...I'm not perverted!! Well, okay, maybe a LITTLE...

Sean: And well, Bill the Pony isn't supposed to be gay. But does that ever stop Neko-chan? Nope. It just means yet another obstacle for her to plow right on through...

Neko-chan: Ummm......you guys? This is MY story!!

Lisa: I mean, sure. I think that Gambit is hot and all, but I'm not perverted!! Oooo....whipped cream....*drools*

Sean: And now you're getting to be as bad as her!! I'm surrounded by hormonal teenage girls!!

Neko-chan: x.x;; Anyway, off...I mean ON with the show!

Sean: It's a story, not a show.

Neko-chan: *shrugs* Eh. Same difference.



Disclaimer: Neko-chan owns nothing. She is but a poor, poor student and doesn't even have a job. (*glares* Stupid people...they say that they want to hire people with more experience, but how can I get more experience if NO ONE wants to hire me?!) Well, actually, Neko-chan DOES own herself, but sometimes even THAT'S debatable. x.x;; Anywho, this chapter is gonna be full of SOME inside jokes, so I suggest you read I...You...Big by Lisa (Lizzy Hold) and Dominique (Firecracker) before or after this chappie! It's actually really funny! (Plus too, The Day Middle-earth Stood Still inspired it! *starry eyes* *_*)

I...You...Big; By Lizzy Hold and Firecracker: http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=710322

The Cheesy Horror Story Arc Part 3; By crazed spyromaniac: http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=6633787





Chapter Eight

It was a bright, sunny, and _glorious_ morning just outside the Old Forest. The birds were chirping happily, the sun twinkled in wonderful little light bursts, and Bryanna peeked a bleary eye out from underneath her blankets, squinting from all of the light shining directly into her eyes.

"If I ever find out where they're nesting, I'll strangle the little terrors," she growled and burrowed under her covers once again. If there was one thing that her friends could agree on, it was the fact that Bryanna was most definitely NOT a morning person. But it was no use--the light just shone through the cracks in her blankets.

Muttering curse words in several languages, the red-headed girl stuck her head out of the blankets once again...and spotted Legolas curled up underneath his blankets on the other side of the campfire.

"Oooooooo....." she said, grinning to herself as she inched closer and closer to his bedroll. Then... "LEGGIE-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!" she screamed as she pounced on the unsuspecting Elf...

...and landed on several pots and pans.

"Whaaaaaat?!" Bryanna exclaimed and yanked up the blankets, only to reveal even _more_ pots and pans. "Stupid Elf," the girl muttered to herself and started scanning the trees for her favorite Elf (though Glorfindel, Gildor, and Elrond came in at a close second, third, and fourth...).

Giving up on _that_ particular possibility when she couldn't find him (even his newly dyed purple and green hair blended in with the vegetation...), Bryanna scooted closer to Aragorn. "Strider-chaaaaaaaan," she said and poked him in the forehead.

He opened an eye. "What do you want?" the King of Gondor asked suspiciously.

"I'm hungry. I want food."

Aragorn closed his eyes in pain. Not _this_ again!!! "Well, what do you want to eat?"

"Food."

"What do you want?"

"Food."

"What...do...you...want?!"

"Foooooooood..."

"What......do......you......want?!"

"Foooooooooooooooooooooooooood..........."

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!"

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, actually, I'm also in the mood for Girl Scout cookies."

Silence, absolute silence, until..."OH, MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!" a female voice screamed from above in the air. Abruptly, the rest of the Ring Group woke up, Legolas falling down onto his butt from his newly discovered hiding spot--a tree. ('No crazy fangirls could ever possibly find me up here!' he had reasoned to himself as he had begun to climb afore mentioned tree. What never occurred to him was the fact that a tree WOULD be the very first place that a fangirl would search...)

Then, with a _huge_ 'THUMP!' the new visitor landed on Merry and Pippin, squishing the two poor Hobbits. The girl groaned (along with Merry and Pippin), clutched her head (again with Merry and Pippin), and opened a chocolate brown eye. Gandalf and the rest of the older males blinked--she had bright blue hair and she was wearing a super hero-type outfit.

"LISA!!!" Bryanna screeched and launched herself at the blue-haired girl (who normally didn't _have_ blue hair, but now did for some reason). "LIIIIIIIISAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'VE MISSED YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"

The red-headed girl knocked into the blue-haired girl and Lisa fell over backwards. "Jeez, Bry, just knock me unconscious, won't you?"

"Lisa, just shut up for a minute!! Do you have _any idea_ where you are?!"

"Well, yeah. I'm in the Marvel Universe," Lisa replied, running her hands down her spandex and leather-clad body----which seemed to have more curves than normal. (Hmmm...guess a girl gets curvier when they go to the Marvel Universe. Gotta love those comic book artists. ^_~)

"Lisa.....you aren't in the Marvel Universe!! GUESS WHERE YOU ARE!!"

"Ummmm...." Lisa began slowly. "I mean, all I remember is one minute I'm all over Gambit and _almost_ convincing him to sleep with me and the next, I'm falling through the air! And if I wouldn't have been able to 'convince' Gambit it sleep with me--'cause Rogue IS a little scary when you piss her off--I could have started to 'convince' Bobby to sleep with me. And it wouldn't have been THAT hard to do, either... Anyway, where was I? Yeah... Falling through the air. I mean, the _least_ the author could have done was warn me. But noooooo...authors don't even have the decency to give you a heads up. I mean, really. What do they think they are?! GODS?! No, I do _not_ think so!"

Bryanna growled to herself, grabbed Lisa's bright blue hair, and moved her head so that she was staring _directly_ at Legolas. "Look! _YOU'RE IN MIDDLE-EARTH, LISA!!!_"

Lisa's eyes widened. "Wow....Bry, now I know what you were talking about when you went on and on about Legolas!! I mean, WOW! Elf Boy is such a _hottie_! Wanna share?"

The red-headed girl growled once again, let go of Lisa (and knocking her back once again), and launched herself at the afore mentioned Elf Boy. "MINE!!" she snarled and made her hold on Legolas's arm tighter. "Mine!" she growled for the third time, sounding exactly like a lioness guarding her prior claim to territory.

Lisa's glasses glinted. "Mine!" she snarled back as the two began to circle each other, testing the other in To-The-Death Fangirl Combat. (Which was BY FAR much more dangerous than Mortal Kombat, or any of those other wimpy little games.)

"Is this how all teenage females act back on 'Earth'?" Frodo asked as he stared at Bryanna and Lisa in misgiving. (And for good reason, too...)

"Oh, no," Sean replied. "You should see them when they're _serious_!"

Gandalf's jaw dropped. "You mean that they aren't serious right now?!"

Sean shook his head, his floppy brown hair flying everywhere. "Nope. Right now, they're just messing around. They get REALLY scary when they're actually fighting over someone or other. You should see them fight over who's the cutest: this ugly guy from In A Heartbeat, Heath Ledger, that dude who plays the new Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars, or Eric Von Detton." Suddenly, Sean shuddered. "And you did NOT want to see Bry when she found out that LotR didn't win Best Picture AND Orlando Bloom didn't get nominated for Best Actor. It was like Ground Zero for a nuclear explosion..."

Silence...

The others blinked and once again directed their attention to Bryanna and Lisa... Bry had a comic book (Xtreme X-Men) out and Lisa was staring at it, drooling, with her eyes glazed over. "Soooo...." Bryanna began to ask, "Who gets Leggie-chan?"

"Youuuuuu......." Lisa answered. "Now can I have that comic book?!"

Bryanna tossed the comic book at her, which Lisa snatched greedily, and returned to her Elf Scouting. Lisa wandered off, her eyes still glued to the comic book, and accidently sat on Merry and Pippin once again.

"Ummm.....excuse me, Miss, but you're sitting on us," Merry ventured from underneath Lisa. The girl blinked and looked down. Then...

"IT'S THE OLSEN TWINS!!!!!" came the high-pitched shriek. Legolas winced. Were all girls from this 'Earth' this high-pitched? If so, he didn't think that his poor, poor ears could take that much abuse! After all, he was barely surviving the red-headed girl!! How could he survive a whole planet full of them?!

Sean winced while Frodo, Sam, Gimli, and Legolas plugged their ears. "Why is she calling Merry and Pippin the Olsen twins?" Frodo asked Bryanna when she wandered closer, hoping to hug her favorite Elf. Bryanna blinked.

"Hmmm? Oh, because in the movie, Merry and Pippin look somewhat alike. I guess they look alike in the book, too. So, Lisa decided to nickname Merry and Pippin the Olsen twins. She likes Sam, too, and I want to know what she nicknamed him. Probably something weird. I guess that's what happens when you're some pervy Hobbit-fancier."

Lisa glared and stood up. "Who are you calling a pervy Hobbit-fancier?! _I'm_ not the one who wants to start an Elf harem!!" Bryanna sniffed delicately and continued to edge closer to Legolas. "And, speaking of Hobbits..." Lisa continued as she eyed Sam with interest, "I have a question that I've been meaning to ask Mr. Gamgee over here. So, are you shopping the dark side with Frodo?"

"LISA!!" Bryanna yelled and threw one of her shoes at the blue-haired girl. "You can't ask things like THAT!! Haven't you ever heard of _privacy_??"

Sam looked puzzled and turned to Frodo. "Mr. Frodo, what does Miss Lisa mean when she says 'shopping the dark side'? Were we supposed to go shopping?"

"Well, I wouldn't be talking!! Remember, you're the Legolas stalker!!" Hearing this, Legolas looked alarmed and began to edge _away_ from Bryanna. "Besides, it's a fair question. He tells Frodo that he loves him several times throughout the book. Sooooo.....are you shaggin' with Frodo, Sam?"



A/N: IS Sam shaggin' with Frodo and Sam? What's the deal with Lisa's chest slooooowly deflating? *snickers* And....*blinks*....what's the weird smell?!