ABOUT US 2: Surprise, Surprise 13/14
Author: LeE
e-mail: lee_81881@yahoo.com
Classification: Romance H/M
Disclaimers: JAG doesn't belong to me. It belongs to DPB and CBS. I'm just having some fun while procrastinating at work...
Author's Note: Well, I re-wrote this part about 20 times, but I think I finally got it somewhat right... The conclusion will be posted sometime tomorrow...:) As always, thanks to all of you who've kept up with this story...:) Enjoy... LeE
*From Part 12*
"Harm, it will take time. But I promise you, I'll make you believe" and with a new round of tears sliding down her cheeks, she kissed him, letting the love emanate from her unrestrained, as she'd dreamed of doing so many times before.
"I love you" was all he could say. His arms tightened around her, as much as he could with his injured side, and he knew it would be okay. There was a new purpose now, life had a new meaning, and at that moment, he made a silent vow to fight for the happily ever after they both deserved.
*Part 13*
THREE DAYS LATER
MAC'S APARTMENT
1856 EST
"Harm, what time did Clay say he was coming?" Mac asked from the kitchen, where she was putting the final touches on the dinner she'd cooked, with Harm's guidance of course.
"Uh, 1900?" Harm answered from his place in the couch.
It had been a hard week for them both. The Admiral had given Mac the week off to take care of baby Rabb, and Mac soon realized why women always complained when taking care of sick men. First, he had refused to take his medicine. That obstacle had been overcome when the pain got too bad and he begged for the pills, much to her amusement. Then, he insisted he didn't need therapy on his knee. The argument had lasted a few hours, until his first session of therapy where he'd realized his aging body needed it more than he thought. Eating was a big problem as well. However, she had patiently stood by him, taking it all in. She loved him, and anything was better than taking flowers to his grave.
"Come on, take your medication before Clay and Nik get here" Mac murmured distractedly as she handed him the pills and the glass of water. Her hand reached out and just as soon as she opened it he retrieved his hand to scratch a non-existent itch on his neck. His inner, rebellious self rejoiced at the sound of the tiny pills hitting the floor, even though he knew he was just delaying the inevitable. Mac wanted him drugged.
Looking down at the two white spots on the carpet, and back up to her again with his eyes wide, mouth slightly open, he innocently questioned what had happened. Her eyes were fixed on him as she tapped her foot impatiently, one hand on her hip, the other one holding the glass of water he so richly deserved to wear on his face. 'Big baby' she thought and smiled inwardly at his antics. Taking care of stubborn Rabb was a full time job, but she wouldn't have it any other way.
"Harm" She was in her 'drill sergeant' mode. He sighed, his eyes never meeting hers, a look of pure displeasure on his face as she retreated towards the kitchen and returned with another set of pills.
"Open your mouth" A simple order.
"Maaaac..."
"Do it!" There was her Marine tone again. 'Geez, where does she think we are? Boot Camp?' Glaring he finally complied.
"I like you better when you're in 'Sarah mode' you know?" He groaned through gritted teeth as he finished swallowing the drugs. He really hadn't meant to say that. Especially since he wasn't physically ready to handle her as 'Sarah'. 'I swear those damn drugs are making me ...' Before his thought was completed her mouth was on his, her tongue quickly playing with his own, and just like it started it was over. Straightening up promptly she looked down at him and smiled as he came back down from wherever he'd gone.
"I think that's all the 'Sarah' you can handle for now, Navy. And, by the way, I like you better when you act your age, Harmon" Recognizing her playful mood meant she'd forgiven him for being his difficult self earlier, he opened his mouth at once to answer, but in a blink she was back at the kitchen. Minutes later the knock on the door was heard.
"Mac??" Harm called weakly, almost whining.
"Coming" she yelled from the kitchen, chuckling at the sight of the pouting Sailor on her couch. Walking towards the door, she opened it widely to reveal both CIA agents, dressed casually for a dinner with friends. Greetings were exchanged, and seconds later they were all sitting in the living room. Mac took her place on the arm of the couch, draping her left hand over Harm's shoulder, his head resting slightly on her side.
"So, how you doing Squid?" Clay asked good-naturedly and everyone chuckled at the rolling of eyes Harm offered.
"Harm, be nice" Mac reprimanded him. Resembling a grounded 4-year-old, he looked up at her sighing, and at Mac's insistent gaze he turned back towards Clay and Annika. "Sorry" he murmured in a small voice when he realized he could be wearing dress whites and his puppy dog eyes and Sergeant Mac still wouldn't let it go. He had to find a new way to get what he wanted. The two amused agents couldn't hold their laughter any longer.
"All right, all right. Enough laughing at the crippled one in the room" Harm said and attempted a small smile, trying his hardest to hide his frustration.
"So, Nurse Mac is taking good care of you, I hear" Annika asked from her place next to Clay. The images his brain conjured up at the mention of Nurse Mac were unsettling to say the least. Visions of Sarah Mackenzie dressed in the skimpy white little outfit...
Harm answered enthusiastically. "Oh, yeah. She makes me take my medicine and after..."
"Okay... I think what you're about to say falls under the 'too much information' category..." Clay said, interrupting him and eliciting a deep blush from both JAG officers. Seconds later, Harm picked up the empty glass and handed it to her, giving her his best 'I'm-pathetic-please-help-me' smile.
"How do you put up with him Mac?" Clay spoke as he tried to contain his laughter. Whoever knew Harm could pout?
"I keep telling myself this is nothing compared to boot camp" Mac answered casually as she kissed his forehead softly and got up to get dinner ready on the table, leaving Clay and Annika behind to laugh. Harm simply stared at her retreating back. What? Was she reading his mind now?
"Harm, you better get off your six before I find myself throwing suggestions for the Navy Times Headlines" Clay said matter-of-factly as Annika watched on in wonder, amused to no end by the dynamics of the trio.
Harm glared. "Stuff it, Clay"
After a few minutes of laughing and good-natured teasing among the three, Mac returned with Harm's water, and motioned for them to sit at the table.
"This is delicious, Mac"
"Well, Harm's the cook here, he just told me what to do" Mac uttered as she took a big bite of the vegetarian lasagna.
"My compliments to the chef then" Annika said and smiled at Harm and Mac. They smiled back.
"So, when are you clear to go back to work?" Clay asked Harm, while Annika and Mac chatted away oblivious to them.
"Doctor said in about two more weeks for light duty" Harm answered, taking another bite of his food.
"That's not too bad" Clay answered thoughtfully and Harm nodded. Minutes later, their meal was done and Mac and Annika retrieved to the kitchen to clean up while Clay helped Harm over to the couch once again.
"Clay, I know Jay's memorial service is tomorrow. How you holding up?"
Clay looked down at his shoes for a few long seconds. Normally, he didn't answer questions like those. He usually evaded them, or simply changed the subject. But this was Harm, and he remembered once again the promise he'd made to himself to be more open with the people that cared about him. Harm was one of them, he knew.
"I don't know. Mom didn't take it very well. She still hasn't spoken to anyone. I'm sure she'll be fine, but I don't know how I'll handle tomorrow."
"Well, both Mac and I will be there, as well as Nik and Don. Plus the Admiral, and half the JAG staff." Clay offered a sincere smile and a heartfelt thanks.
"So, how are things with that kick-ass partner of yours?"
"Harm...." He warned, once again unable to believe that Harm was actually giving *him* advice on what to do in the women department.
Holding up his one good hand in surrender Harm spoke. "All right, all right. I'll leave you alone. For now" Deciding it was enough deep talk for the evening, they switched to a heated debate over the current baseball season.
"How's he holding up with his brother's memorial service tomorrow and all?" Mac asked quietly as her and Annika cleaned up in the kitchen.
"He doesn't talk much about it, which doesn't surprise me, but he at least let me stay with him the last couple nights. He's been having nightmares, bad ones Mac. He lets me hold him sometimes, but then he pulls away. I don't know how to make them stop" A miserable tone in her voice.
"You can't. You just have to be there for him, Nik. He needs you just as much as you need him" Annika simply nodded. It was so easy to say, but so hard to wake up to his screams in the middle of the night knowing all she could do was offer him temporary comfort. She'd give anything to take it all away. But that wasn't her place. They were just friends, and they would be for a long time it seemed. Sighing heavily she turned to finish the rest of the dishes and seconds later Mac and her were involved in an interesting discussion about pets, with Mac's stories of Jingo and Annika's stories of her two cats.
The evening went by and they said goodbye, promising to get together more often. Tomorrow they'd be at the memorial service to offer Clay their support. Harm and Mac both sighed as she took her place next to him once more.
"I feel so bad for Clay" She whispered, as her hand ran aimlessly across his chest.
"I know, Mac. Me too. He reminds me so much of myself you know?" Mac tilted her head up to look at him. Harm shrugged helplessly and continued with the explanation he knew Mac wanted, as he tucked a stray strand of hair back behind her ear.
"Well, when we went to Russia, and I found out my father was buried somewhere in that jungle, well, you were there, but you weren't really there. Not like I wanted you to"
"What do you mean?" She quickly realized that line of conversation might somehow lead them to talk about Harm's nightmare from a few days before. His experience in Afghanistan had been really hard on him, and the nightmare was just the way he was dealing with it. All she could really do was be there for him, just like she'd told Annika to do for Clay. At least until she figured out if the nightmare was just a temporary coping mechanism, or more than that.
"I didn't want to do that alone, Mac. I didn't want to say goodbye to my father all by myself. I prayed for you to walk up to me so I could hold you, but I knew it wouldn't happen, because I always kept you at arm's length with the 'we're just friends' routine" At once she realized his nightmare was not what they were talking about. He hadn't mentioned it at all, and Mac was starting to believe she had just over reacted to it.
"I'm so sorry" she whispered as she tuned back into their conversation and tried to figure out where Harm was going with this. "I wanted to do more than I did, but I was afraid you'd pull away from me. I wanted to hold you and tell you everything would be okay. I just... couldn't" she pleaded with him to understand, to put himself in her shoes and see things from her point of view.
"I know, baby." He responded tenderly, kissing her forehead as softly as he knew how. "But you were there the other day when I had that awful dream, and you're here now, and that's all that matters to me." She simply nodded and placed a tender kiss on his chest, proceeding to snuggle closer and closer to him as she marveled on what a perfect fit they were.
The more he opened up, the more she felt the overwhelming urge to protect him, to make him feel safe, loved, needed. The more the intricate workings of Harmon Rabb's mind were revealed to her, the more it felt like she'd been handed a gift from God, the gift of truly knowing her Sailor, and it was her job now to take care of that vulnerable, defenseless side of him that was now exposed; to nurture that part of his heart that'd been neglected for so long, that part of his heart capable of believing in love again.
Her mind drifted back to the night they'd confessed their love for each other. That night she'd seen, for the first time, the fragile side of the man she loved, his weakness, and his insecurities. He'd been willing to give up flying because he thought that's what he had to do to have a life with her. And only after she reminded him of who he really was, only after she reminded of him of the man she'd fallen in love with, did he realize that she didn't want to change his life, she wanted to be part of it. Somehow, she'd thought the nightmare might have been a more in depth revelation of his true fears, but for now, it was simply his way of reliving the dreadful events of the past week.
"Mac, are you okay?" He asked, concerned at the faraway look in her eyes.
"Yeah, I was just thinking..." Remembering what they'd originally started talking about, she changed the subject, "...that Clay and Annika are going through the same thing, aren't they?" Mac asked thoughtfully, and after a moment Harm sighed and told Mac the whole story Clay had shared about him and Annika when they were held hostage in Afghanistan.
"He's pushing her away because he thinks he's not good enough for her, and that's exactly what I did to you. Because I thought you deserved better than me. I still do, but God sent you to me and I thank him every day for you" Tears welled up in her eyes and she whispered I love you's to him repeatedly as she softly kissed him. Someday she'd ask him why he didn't think he was good enough, but not tonight. He needed Sarah tonight, not a cross from Lt. Colonel Mackenzie.
"Let's get some sleep, Sailor. Long day tomorrow" Harm nodded and gratefully accepted her help as she led him to the bedroom.
"Mac?"
"Huh?"
"Are you sure that was medicine you gave me earlier? It feels more like poison"
"Oh, I'm sorry honey. I think I gave you that expired heartworms pill I've had laying around since Jingo left. I told Chloe she needed to take it..."
"Maaaac...." He groaned. She chuckled at Harm's ignorance. He obviously didn't know what a heartworms pill looked like for a 70-pound dog like Jingo. Looking up indulgently she patted his cheek.
"Don't worry. I'll take you to the Vet tomorrow"
"Ha ha ha"
"Oh, cut it out and get some sleep, Squid. I love you" she murmured sleepily once her laughter had subsided and stretched up to plant a gentle good night kiss on his lips. He sighed as she nestled closer in his arms, mindful of his injuries.
A few minutes later, she heard his even breathing, telling her he'd drifted off to sleep. For the next few hours, she just watched him, listened to the sounds he made, paid attention to the way he slightly shifted every so often, the way he held her, never relinquishing in his protective embrace.
"Love you...Mac" he murmured in his sleep and she smiled as he pulled at her pajama top with his uninjured arm, wanting to bring her closer, nearer. She watched in amazement the frustration on his face as he fought in his unconscious state to position her where he wanted her, using his only good arm. A few more tugs, and she ended up practically sprawled on top of him, and she wanted to laugh. Her Sailor was the cutest thing when he slept.
She'd never let any man before hold her that way. In fact, the time she'd spent with Mic, it was always him who woke up on her side of the bed, never her on his. But Harm was different. The warmth of his embrace was too hard to resist, and even unconsciously, she found herself reaching for him, needing to feel him near. What was it about him that held such power over her? What was it about him that made her say and do things she'd never thought she would? What was so mystifying about him that she could watch him for hours and never tire? Harmon Rabb, Jr. was a puzzle, and she was willing to spend the rest of her life putting it together, piece by piece, step by step.
TBC
Author: LeE
e-mail: lee_81881@yahoo.com
Classification: Romance H/M
Disclaimers: JAG doesn't belong to me. It belongs to DPB and CBS. I'm just having some fun while procrastinating at work...
Author's Note: Well, I re-wrote this part about 20 times, but I think I finally got it somewhat right... The conclusion will be posted sometime tomorrow...:) As always, thanks to all of you who've kept up with this story...:) Enjoy... LeE
*From Part 12*
"Harm, it will take time. But I promise you, I'll make you believe" and with a new round of tears sliding down her cheeks, she kissed him, letting the love emanate from her unrestrained, as she'd dreamed of doing so many times before.
"I love you" was all he could say. His arms tightened around her, as much as he could with his injured side, and he knew it would be okay. There was a new purpose now, life had a new meaning, and at that moment, he made a silent vow to fight for the happily ever after they both deserved.
*Part 13*
THREE DAYS LATER
MAC'S APARTMENT
1856 EST
"Harm, what time did Clay say he was coming?" Mac asked from the kitchen, where she was putting the final touches on the dinner she'd cooked, with Harm's guidance of course.
"Uh, 1900?" Harm answered from his place in the couch.
It had been a hard week for them both. The Admiral had given Mac the week off to take care of baby Rabb, and Mac soon realized why women always complained when taking care of sick men. First, he had refused to take his medicine. That obstacle had been overcome when the pain got too bad and he begged for the pills, much to her amusement. Then, he insisted he didn't need therapy on his knee. The argument had lasted a few hours, until his first session of therapy where he'd realized his aging body needed it more than he thought. Eating was a big problem as well. However, she had patiently stood by him, taking it all in. She loved him, and anything was better than taking flowers to his grave.
"Come on, take your medication before Clay and Nik get here" Mac murmured distractedly as she handed him the pills and the glass of water. Her hand reached out and just as soon as she opened it he retrieved his hand to scratch a non-existent itch on his neck. His inner, rebellious self rejoiced at the sound of the tiny pills hitting the floor, even though he knew he was just delaying the inevitable. Mac wanted him drugged.
Looking down at the two white spots on the carpet, and back up to her again with his eyes wide, mouth slightly open, he innocently questioned what had happened. Her eyes were fixed on him as she tapped her foot impatiently, one hand on her hip, the other one holding the glass of water he so richly deserved to wear on his face. 'Big baby' she thought and smiled inwardly at his antics. Taking care of stubborn Rabb was a full time job, but she wouldn't have it any other way.
"Harm" She was in her 'drill sergeant' mode. He sighed, his eyes never meeting hers, a look of pure displeasure on his face as she retreated towards the kitchen and returned with another set of pills.
"Open your mouth" A simple order.
"Maaaac..."
"Do it!" There was her Marine tone again. 'Geez, where does she think we are? Boot Camp?' Glaring he finally complied.
"I like you better when you're in 'Sarah mode' you know?" He groaned through gritted teeth as he finished swallowing the drugs. He really hadn't meant to say that. Especially since he wasn't physically ready to handle her as 'Sarah'. 'I swear those damn drugs are making me ...' Before his thought was completed her mouth was on his, her tongue quickly playing with his own, and just like it started it was over. Straightening up promptly she looked down at him and smiled as he came back down from wherever he'd gone.
"I think that's all the 'Sarah' you can handle for now, Navy. And, by the way, I like you better when you act your age, Harmon" Recognizing her playful mood meant she'd forgiven him for being his difficult self earlier, he opened his mouth at once to answer, but in a blink she was back at the kitchen. Minutes later the knock on the door was heard.
"Mac??" Harm called weakly, almost whining.
"Coming" she yelled from the kitchen, chuckling at the sight of the pouting Sailor on her couch. Walking towards the door, she opened it widely to reveal both CIA agents, dressed casually for a dinner with friends. Greetings were exchanged, and seconds later they were all sitting in the living room. Mac took her place on the arm of the couch, draping her left hand over Harm's shoulder, his head resting slightly on her side.
"So, how you doing Squid?" Clay asked good-naturedly and everyone chuckled at the rolling of eyes Harm offered.
"Harm, be nice" Mac reprimanded him. Resembling a grounded 4-year-old, he looked up at her sighing, and at Mac's insistent gaze he turned back towards Clay and Annika. "Sorry" he murmured in a small voice when he realized he could be wearing dress whites and his puppy dog eyes and Sergeant Mac still wouldn't let it go. He had to find a new way to get what he wanted. The two amused agents couldn't hold their laughter any longer.
"All right, all right. Enough laughing at the crippled one in the room" Harm said and attempted a small smile, trying his hardest to hide his frustration.
"So, Nurse Mac is taking good care of you, I hear" Annika asked from her place next to Clay. The images his brain conjured up at the mention of Nurse Mac were unsettling to say the least. Visions of Sarah Mackenzie dressed in the skimpy white little outfit...
Harm answered enthusiastically. "Oh, yeah. She makes me take my medicine and after..."
"Okay... I think what you're about to say falls under the 'too much information' category..." Clay said, interrupting him and eliciting a deep blush from both JAG officers. Seconds later, Harm picked up the empty glass and handed it to her, giving her his best 'I'm-pathetic-please-help-me' smile.
"How do you put up with him Mac?" Clay spoke as he tried to contain his laughter. Whoever knew Harm could pout?
"I keep telling myself this is nothing compared to boot camp" Mac answered casually as she kissed his forehead softly and got up to get dinner ready on the table, leaving Clay and Annika behind to laugh. Harm simply stared at her retreating back. What? Was she reading his mind now?
"Harm, you better get off your six before I find myself throwing suggestions for the Navy Times Headlines" Clay said matter-of-factly as Annika watched on in wonder, amused to no end by the dynamics of the trio.
Harm glared. "Stuff it, Clay"
After a few minutes of laughing and good-natured teasing among the three, Mac returned with Harm's water, and motioned for them to sit at the table.
"This is delicious, Mac"
"Well, Harm's the cook here, he just told me what to do" Mac uttered as she took a big bite of the vegetarian lasagna.
"My compliments to the chef then" Annika said and smiled at Harm and Mac. They smiled back.
"So, when are you clear to go back to work?" Clay asked Harm, while Annika and Mac chatted away oblivious to them.
"Doctor said in about two more weeks for light duty" Harm answered, taking another bite of his food.
"That's not too bad" Clay answered thoughtfully and Harm nodded. Minutes later, their meal was done and Mac and Annika retrieved to the kitchen to clean up while Clay helped Harm over to the couch once again.
"Clay, I know Jay's memorial service is tomorrow. How you holding up?"
Clay looked down at his shoes for a few long seconds. Normally, he didn't answer questions like those. He usually evaded them, or simply changed the subject. But this was Harm, and he remembered once again the promise he'd made to himself to be more open with the people that cared about him. Harm was one of them, he knew.
"I don't know. Mom didn't take it very well. She still hasn't spoken to anyone. I'm sure she'll be fine, but I don't know how I'll handle tomorrow."
"Well, both Mac and I will be there, as well as Nik and Don. Plus the Admiral, and half the JAG staff." Clay offered a sincere smile and a heartfelt thanks.
"So, how are things with that kick-ass partner of yours?"
"Harm...." He warned, once again unable to believe that Harm was actually giving *him* advice on what to do in the women department.
Holding up his one good hand in surrender Harm spoke. "All right, all right. I'll leave you alone. For now" Deciding it was enough deep talk for the evening, they switched to a heated debate over the current baseball season.
"How's he holding up with his brother's memorial service tomorrow and all?" Mac asked quietly as her and Annika cleaned up in the kitchen.
"He doesn't talk much about it, which doesn't surprise me, but he at least let me stay with him the last couple nights. He's been having nightmares, bad ones Mac. He lets me hold him sometimes, but then he pulls away. I don't know how to make them stop" A miserable tone in her voice.
"You can't. You just have to be there for him, Nik. He needs you just as much as you need him" Annika simply nodded. It was so easy to say, but so hard to wake up to his screams in the middle of the night knowing all she could do was offer him temporary comfort. She'd give anything to take it all away. But that wasn't her place. They were just friends, and they would be for a long time it seemed. Sighing heavily she turned to finish the rest of the dishes and seconds later Mac and her were involved in an interesting discussion about pets, with Mac's stories of Jingo and Annika's stories of her two cats.
The evening went by and they said goodbye, promising to get together more often. Tomorrow they'd be at the memorial service to offer Clay their support. Harm and Mac both sighed as she took her place next to him once more.
"I feel so bad for Clay" She whispered, as her hand ran aimlessly across his chest.
"I know, Mac. Me too. He reminds me so much of myself you know?" Mac tilted her head up to look at him. Harm shrugged helplessly and continued with the explanation he knew Mac wanted, as he tucked a stray strand of hair back behind her ear.
"Well, when we went to Russia, and I found out my father was buried somewhere in that jungle, well, you were there, but you weren't really there. Not like I wanted you to"
"What do you mean?" She quickly realized that line of conversation might somehow lead them to talk about Harm's nightmare from a few days before. His experience in Afghanistan had been really hard on him, and the nightmare was just the way he was dealing with it. All she could really do was be there for him, just like she'd told Annika to do for Clay. At least until she figured out if the nightmare was just a temporary coping mechanism, or more than that.
"I didn't want to do that alone, Mac. I didn't want to say goodbye to my father all by myself. I prayed for you to walk up to me so I could hold you, but I knew it wouldn't happen, because I always kept you at arm's length with the 'we're just friends' routine" At once she realized his nightmare was not what they were talking about. He hadn't mentioned it at all, and Mac was starting to believe she had just over reacted to it.
"I'm so sorry" she whispered as she tuned back into their conversation and tried to figure out where Harm was going with this. "I wanted to do more than I did, but I was afraid you'd pull away from me. I wanted to hold you and tell you everything would be okay. I just... couldn't" she pleaded with him to understand, to put himself in her shoes and see things from her point of view.
"I know, baby." He responded tenderly, kissing her forehead as softly as he knew how. "But you were there the other day when I had that awful dream, and you're here now, and that's all that matters to me." She simply nodded and placed a tender kiss on his chest, proceeding to snuggle closer and closer to him as she marveled on what a perfect fit they were.
The more he opened up, the more she felt the overwhelming urge to protect him, to make him feel safe, loved, needed. The more the intricate workings of Harmon Rabb's mind were revealed to her, the more it felt like she'd been handed a gift from God, the gift of truly knowing her Sailor, and it was her job now to take care of that vulnerable, defenseless side of him that was now exposed; to nurture that part of his heart that'd been neglected for so long, that part of his heart capable of believing in love again.
Her mind drifted back to the night they'd confessed their love for each other. That night she'd seen, for the first time, the fragile side of the man she loved, his weakness, and his insecurities. He'd been willing to give up flying because he thought that's what he had to do to have a life with her. And only after she reminded him of who he really was, only after she reminded of him of the man she'd fallen in love with, did he realize that she didn't want to change his life, she wanted to be part of it. Somehow, she'd thought the nightmare might have been a more in depth revelation of his true fears, but for now, it was simply his way of reliving the dreadful events of the past week.
"Mac, are you okay?" He asked, concerned at the faraway look in her eyes.
"Yeah, I was just thinking..." Remembering what they'd originally started talking about, she changed the subject, "...that Clay and Annika are going through the same thing, aren't they?" Mac asked thoughtfully, and after a moment Harm sighed and told Mac the whole story Clay had shared about him and Annika when they were held hostage in Afghanistan.
"He's pushing her away because he thinks he's not good enough for her, and that's exactly what I did to you. Because I thought you deserved better than me. I still do, but God sent you to me and I thank him every day for you" Tears welled up in her eyes and she whispered I love you's to him repeatedly as she softly kissed him. Someday she'd ask him why he didn't think he was good enough, but not tonight. He needed Sarah tonight, not a cross from Lt. Colonel Mackenzie.
"Let's get some sleep, Sailor. Long day tomorrow" Harm nodded and gratefully accepted her help as she led him to the bedroom.
"Mac?"
"Huh?"
"Are you sure that was medicine you gave me earlier? It feels more like poison"
"Oh, I'm sorry honey. I think I gave you that expired heartworms pill I've had laying around since Jingo left. I told Chloe she needed to take it..."
"Maaaac...." He groaned. She chuckled at Harm's ignorance. He obviously didn't know what a heartworms pill looked like for a 70-pound dog like Jingo. Looking up indulgently she patted his cheek.
"Don't worry. I'll take you to the Vet tomorrow"
"Ha ha ha"
"Oh, cut it out and get some sleep, Squid. I love you" she murmured sleepily once her laughter had subsided and stretched up to plant a gentle good night kiss on his lips. He sighed as she nestled closer in his arms, mindful of his injuries.
A few minutes later, she heard his even breathing, telling her he'd drifted off to sleep. For the next few hours, she just watched him, listened to the sounds he made, paid attention to the way he slightly shifted every so often, the way he held her, never relinquishing in his protective embrace.
"Love you...Mac" he murmured in his sleep and she smiled as he pulled at her pajama top with his uninjured arm, wanting to bring her closer, nearer. She watched in amazement the frustration on his face as he fought in his unconscious state to position her where he wanted her, using his only good arm. A few more tugs, and she ended up practically sprawled on top of him, and she wanted to laugh. Her Sailor was the cutest thing when he slept.
She'd never let any man before hold her that way. In fact, the time she'd spent with Mic, it was always him who woke up on her side of the bed, never her on his. But Harm was different. The warmth of his embrace was too hard to resist, and even unconsciously, she found herself reaching for him, needing to feel him near. What was it about him that held such power over her? What was it about him that made her say and do things she'd never thought she would? What was so mystifying about him that she could watch him for hours and never tire? Harmon Rabb, Jr. was a puzzle, and she was willing to spend the rest of her life putting it together, piece by piece, step by step.
TBC