Chapter 4 - Inej
Inej took her time going to the Van Eck Mansion. It was late, but she knew Jesper and Wylan would still be up. She ran along the tiled rooftops, smiling at the familiar sensation of weathered tile against her rubber slippers. She didn't feel as much like a ghost these days. She could still slip by unnoticed. She still stole secrets and used her blades. She was still the wraith. But she felt freer as if every soul she saved from a lifelong indenture blessed her with a peace that she had never felt before. She was glad she had told Kaz the truth of her visit. She sometimes thought she might hate him. But she knew that wasn't true. She didn't hate Kaz. She only hated how much Ketterdam felt like home, how much he felt like home.
She entered through the front door and found Wylan and Jesper tangled up on the striped sofa in the first-floor library. Jesper was reading Wylan poetry. Filthy poetry. Inej held back a laugh as she realised he was changing the lines ever so slightly in a bid to make Wylan blush. It was working. Wylan spotted her first. He coughed and poked Jesper, begging him to stop.
"How is he?" Jesper asked, sitting up as straight as he could manage with Wylan still draped over him.
"The usual"
"He's been like this since you left."
"I don't really want to talk about it, Jes. There's a job coming up. Sturmhond will be in Ketterdam. Tomorrow. Will you join the crew?"
"Sturmhound", Jesper exclaimed excitedly at the exact moment Wylan practically shouted "No". Jesper turned to Wylan, and they spoke in hushed tones, arguing with each other.
"I'll leave you both to it", She murmured and slipped out of the room. She made her way up the grand staircase. Wylan and Jesper kept the same room ready for her each time she visited. She liked that she could expect this, so much of her life was constantly moving and changing, and this was her sanctuary when she visited Ketterdam. It was a far cry from the Slat.
When she opened the door, the first thing she noticed was the curtains, shifting ever so slightly in the wind from her open window. The second thing she noticed was Kaz sitting on the edge of her bed.
"You asked me once what my tell was. Do you remember?"
"Yes, you said your tell is that you are a cripple."
"I lied" Inej shut the door. The room darkened without the light from the hallway. The only light left was the soft glow of the moon through the window.
"You're my tell", He continued. "Van Eck took you because he saw it. He saw that my only real weakness is you. When the sirens quietened, and the Kruge hit our accounts, the Dregs were the only gang with the means to wait out the fear of Plague. I heard that the other gangs had formed an alliance to take the Dregs down- to take me down while Ketterdam stood quiet. They were planning to hit me by hitting you. It would have worked as well" He paused at that last quiet admission. It would have worked. "Do you see Inej? I put a target on your back, and when I realised, I weighed up the odds. Even if the odds were stacked at 1/100 that we would rescue you, I couldn't live with that 1% chance we wouldn't." He was almost glaring at her. His gaze was so intense it felt like he was trying to will her to understand. "Do you see?" He said again.
She drifted forward until she was sat beside him. His eyes followed her across the room. His face was so close.
"What if it wasn't your gamble to take, Kaz. What if was mine?"
"I couldn't lose you too." Jordie. His name unsaid hung in the air between them. Slowly, she placed her hand palm up on her knee beside his. His eyes left hers only to look at her hand, at her peace offering. He placed his hand on hers, holding it still for a long minute before he intertwined their fingers. He had come without his gloves. Without his armour.
They sat like that in silence for a long while.