Part 5

So what, she's suicidal now? "You don't mean that." I say softly.

"Don't I?" She shakes her head, laughing sardonically. Then she's suddenly very serious. "You don't know what it's like…"

"What what's like?"

Jade looks down at her feet. "Nothing. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"I think you need to."

"And I think I don't." she says stubbornly.

"This isn't a game! Dammit, girl!" I find myself shouting. Why am I shouting? Why am I so upset? What do I care if the bitch dies? Cause it'll hurt Nibblet. That's why. Yes, that's why. That's the only reason.

Jade looks evenly at me. "I can walk myself home." She says coldly before turning on her heel and charging determinedly down the street.

For a few moments I just stand there, thinking over what just happened. Then I follow her home, making sure she's safe as she climbs through her window.

*****

The Bronze is crowded for a Sunday, I notice as I approach the bar. "Whiskey." I say. The bartender goes to fetch my drink and I drum my fingers anxiously on the bar. "Hey, Spike." A sheepish voice comes from behind me.

I turn to find Dawn standing nervously- her eyes downcast. "Um…Jade told me…what happened the other night. I pretty much couldn't remember. But…um…I guess I just want to thank you- for everything. For saving us…and for not telling Buffy." She chuckles awkwardly. "Just…thanks."

"Well, have you learned your lesson about the evils of drinking?" I ask. The bartender sits my drink down in front of me.

Nibblet eyes it for a moment before smiling and nodding. "Totally. The hangover- so not worth it." I nod and turn to my drink, expecting her to leave. But still she's standing there and I look at her inquisitively. "Do you wanna…come hang out with us? Play some pool?"

I'm about to gracefully decline when I spot Jade sitting on the edge of a pool table- eyeing me warily. It's obvious that she doesn't want me over there. After last night's little squabble, I don't blame her. But her distinct objection does nothing but make me look at Dawn and nod.

"Thanks, Nibblet. I think I'll take you up on that." She beams and leads me over to the pool table to an icy looking Jade. "Hello." I greet the blonde with an impish smirk and she huffs out a breath and rolls her eyes.

"Are we ready to play some pool?" she asks.

Dawn frowns. "I totally suck at pool. You guys play and I'll stand by the table saying stuff like 'nice shot', like I know what's going on."

Jade smiles- a bit evilly, I think- and looks at me. "I guess it's you versus me, then. Ready to get your ass kicked?"

I merely laugh. Silly little chit. I've been playing billiards since before her parents were born. I was playing billiards when they still called it billiards. So that shows you just how long I've been playing and I've gotten quite skilled, I'd like to think. She has no idea what she's up against. I smirk at her and grab a cue as she sets the balls up.

"Do you wanna break or shall I?" she asks, haughtily.

"Ladies first." Ladies…tramps…same difference.

Jade takes the shot. The balls crack as they bounce off each other and roll wildly about the table before the red solid drops into a pocket. "You're strips." She announces as she takes another shot. She doesn't sink anything this time but she lines up a pretty good shot for her next go.

My eyes survey the table for my best shot. It's pretty tough, but I can make it. When I sink the targeted ball, Jade's eyes go wide a bit but she shrugs it off coolly.

The game progresses and mid-way through, Dawn excuses herself to go to the loo. I jump on the opportunity. "Did you mean what you said last night?"

"Which part?"

"That you didn't think it was a bad thing if you died."

"I don't know. Maybe." She says distractedly. She's concentrating on lining up a shot.

"What do you say we make a little wager on this game?" I ask as she sinks the green ball.

"Like what?"

"A dance."

"What?"

"You heard me. If I win, I get one dance with you."

"And if I win?"

I shrug. "What do you want?"

Jade looks thoughtful. "Beer. And smokes. You'll buy them for me for week."

"Deal."

Needless to say- I win my dance. Jade glares at me, dropping her stick roughly onto the table. "Now, now, love. None of that." I shrug off my duster and extend my hand to her. "It won't be that bad."

"I'm not expecting it to be bad. I just wanted my smokes, dammit."

I laugh as I lead her onto the dance floor and thankfully, a rather slow song begins. She puts her little arms around my neck as I snake mine around her waist. And we dance.

You've got such a pretty smile.
It's a shame the things you hide behind it.
Let 'em go give it up for a while.
Let 'em free and we will both go find it.

I know there's no where you can hide it.
I know the feeling of alone.
I know that you do not feel invited,
But come back, come back in from the cold.

Step away from the edge.
Your best friend in life is not your mirror.
Back away come back away come back away.
I am here and I will be forever and ever and I.

I know that there's no where you can hide it.
I know the feeling of alone.
Trust me and don't keep that on the inside.
Soon you...you'll be locked out on your own.

You're not alone...

You're not alone...

And don't say you've never been told.
I'll be with you till we grow old.

Till I am in the ground and I'm cold.

**Thanks so much to those who've reviewed! Please keep it up, I can use all the feedback I can get. Also, I put the song at the end of this chapter cause I realize that songfics can be terribly distracting. I don't like reading them myself and I've written some before that I just didn't like. But sometimes you find that song that you just have to use so I put this one at the end instead of interrupting the story. The song, btw, is Jude's 'I Know' off the City of Angels soundtrack.**