Part 6
Mondays suck so bad. How I manage to survive them week after week is beyond me. But I've somehow gotten through another Monday and me and Dawn are sitting on the school steps, eating gummy bears and waiting for Spike's decrepit car to pull up.
"…and Mr. Taylor said that he really liked my essay!" Dawn gushes.
"Really liked your essay?" I ask with a wink. She giggles.
With a contented sigh she leans back on the steps, propped up by her elbows. She tosses her head back dramatically. "Yes. I believe that he has fallen for me. But how awful…as we can never be together. We are but two lonely wanderers on the walk of life- sadly, whose paths can never cross, as it is forbidden."
I roll my eyes and throw a gummy bear at her. "Drama queen."
"So what was with you and Spike last night?" she asks abruptly.
"What? Nothing was 'with' us. We played some pool. We danced. End of story."
"Mm-hmm. And all that tension in the air was just the buzz of fluorescent lighting."
"Perhaps." She opens her mouth to speak but I cut her off, turning serious. "Listen, Dawn, there's nothing between me and Spike. Think about this. If I wanted him, I'd have had him already."
"I wouldn't be so certain about that. When it comes to love, Spike's-"
"Love? Who said anything about love?" I laugh. "Sweetie, I've never been in love and I don't plan to be. I was talking about sex."
"You never wanna fall in love?" she asks curiously.
"No way. Life's simpler without all that. Think about it- what does love really boil down to eventually? Sex. You start with the dating, then if sparks fly you kiss, make out a little, then when you really form a relationship- maybe even get married- what happens? You have sex. And that finalizes things. But what's after that? Nothing. Basically, I just skip the book and go straight to the last page."
Dawn is shaking her head at me. "That's…really sad."
I shrug. "The truth hurts."
"Yeah, it does sometimes. But that's not the truth."
"Well, that's a debate for another time. Spike's here." I nod towards the big black car and we stand, gathering our things.
We're halfway to the car when it hits me. Blacked out windows. Sun allergy. Cold hands. Why didn't I realize before? Spike's a vampire! No! There's no way. Why would a vampire be toting around two teenage girls in his car? Why would he know a vampire slayer? No. It's impossible. Or is it?
Slowly, hesitantly, I make my way to the automobile and slip in the passenger side. I glance over at him. He doesn't look dead. He studies me carefully- I must look suspicious or something. So I smile at him as we pull away from the curb.
The ride is pretty much silent until we reach Dawn's. As she climbs out of the car she says 'goodbye' and I wave to her distractedly. This is really bugging me. Is he a vampire? If he is, should I feel safe right now? Would he bite me? Would I like it? Wait. There's a way I can definitely figure this out.
Acting casual, I dig around in my purse, finally producing my compact. I open it and pretend to powder my face, but really I'm slowly maneuvering it to see his reflection. My heart sinks. He has none.
I shove the compact into my purse, trying to stay calm. Why didn't he tell me? 'Do you know much about them?' 'Yeah…I know a thing or two.' A thing or two…my ass. Well, we're just gonna have to see about this.
We pull up in front of my house and I turn to him. "Can we talk?"
"About what?"
"Not here. Pull up into the carport." Spike looks at me curiously but obeys, pulling the car into the shade of the carport. I get out, motioning for him to follow me. I hope that all those old horror flicks were right.
As I open the side door, I hear his boots slowly treading up behind me. I enter, leaving the door open for him. Act casual, girl. I toss my keys onto the kitchen counter and turn around expectantly to him. He's standing just on the other side of the threshold with a slightly lost look on his face. As I stare at him with my hands on my hips- he knows. He knows I know.
"Can I come in?"
"I dunno…can you?" My voice is slightly harsher than I intended. But I'm mad, dammit! He lied to me! OK…he didn't exactly lie but he didn't tell the truth either! Everything he said to me- shouted at me- the other night floods back. 'Oh, you call that living? Getting fingered in the middle of some cheap bar? Banging some stranger in an alley, right in there with the garbage and the rats? That's not living, little girl. That's dying- real slow like.' Hypocrite! What the fuck does he know about living? He's been dead for God knows how long!
"Jade…"
"Why didn't you tell me?" I demand.
"Just let me come in. And I'll explain." He says desperately.
"Is it safe for me to let you in? Are you gonna bite me? Are you gonna kill me?"
Spike looks at me evenly. "I thought you didn't care about dying."
Stupid son of bitch. Throw that in my face, will you? "Shut up." Oh, great come back, Jade. "We're talking about you."
He sighs. "Let me in. I'm not gonna bite you. I can't."
"You can't? What? You're defanged or something?" I say skeptically.
"In a manner of speaking, yes. Come on, girl! The sun's drifting and unless you fancy cleaning up a dust pile on your doorstep, you've got to let me in!"
"Fine, come in."
He takes a thankful step inside, shutting the door behind him. He's just standing there now, watching me. I can't tell what he's thinking. Dumbass has that whole, strong-silent-mysterious-guy thing going on. I tense, not knowing whether at any second he's gonna lunge out and drain me dry or not. But I remember how it felt in the alley- the pain and the pleasure as the vamp sank his teeth into my neck…
I look at Spike and his oh-so-studliness and shudder in anticipation of what will probably never come.
"I have a chip…" he begins.
"What?"
"A chip…in my head…that keeps me from hurting people. Blasted little piece of government machinery. You know if there ever was a cause for me to believe in anarchy-"
"So you can't bite, at all?" I ask. Damn…I sounded a lot more disappointed than I intended. He's gonna see right through that.
Yep. He smirks and takes two cocky steps towards me. "I can't hurt anyone." He says. I gulp. Loudly. "But…as you know…a vampire's bite doesn't necessarily hurt…"
Jade the randy sex kitten has left the building. Now introducing Jade the big puddle of goo. Subject change…NOW! "S-so…um…how old are you?"
He chuckles. "Hundred and twenty-two. Well…that's how long I've been a vampire."
I nod absently- overwhelmed by the revelation of his age and the quandary of how in the hell a guy managed to turn me to a puddle of goo. Suddenly I'm ran to earth by the slamming of the front door an a gruff call of my name. My eyes go wide and I push Spike toward the door. "Shit…you have to leave. Now!" He opens his mouth to object but I give him a pleading look and he nods, hurrying out to his car.
I slam the door and turn just in time to catch Roger entering the kitchen. "Who was that?" he demands.
"Um…nobody…just the guy who drives me home." Is it just me or did that sound incredibly dirty? Apparently it's not just me.
"Yeah…I'll bet he does." Roger grumbles as he retrieves a beer from the refrigerator and stumbles towards the living room. Minutes later I hear the blast of a wrestling match on the TV. Then there's the sound as he pops the cap off his beer, followed by guzzling and then a loud burp. I shake my head to myself and head for my room. Pig.
*****
I enter the Summers' home on Friday night to the sounds of giggling teenagers. Five giggling, pajama-clad teenagers to be exact. Bloody hell. I don't often feel sorry for the slayer but tonight I do.
"Spike!" Dawn squeals, jumping up from the living room floor- which is currently covered in pillows, sleeping bags, and junk food. She throws her arms around my neck, jumping up and down excitedly.
"Um…hey…Nibblet." Now I spot the giant chocolate bar in her hand. Ah, that explains it. Although, I wouldn't be surprised to find a bong hidden somewhere in those sleeping bags.
She turns to the four girls in the living room excitedly. "Guys, this is Spike. Spike, this is Ashley, Tina, Mary Ann, and you know Jade." Jade waves to me as she stuffs a handful of popcorn into her mouth. The other girls smile and giggle demurely.
"Spike! What are you doing here?" Buffy demands. She's standing in the doorway to the kitchen, her hair tousled and a flustered look on her face.
I brush past her into the kitchen. "Just came to revel in your torment." I wonder if there's any blood in the fridge…yep. Grabbing a packet, I tear the plastic open with my teeth and pour the blood into a glass from the cabinet. I stick it in the microwave and set the timer for two minutes. When I turn around, the slayer's glaring at me with her arms crossed over her chest.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"What does it look like?"
"I hope you don't think you're gonna drink that in front of Dawn's friends!"
I shrug. "Why not? It's not like they'll know what it is. I can say it's kool-aid or something. And anyway, Jade already knows."
"What?" she screeches. Damn…girl got a hell of a set of lungs on her for being so little.
"Shh. Cool your head, Slayer. I didn't tell her. She figured it out."
"And how does she know about vampires in the first place?" Buffy asks, her voice low and deadly sounding.
Well, no reason not to explain. "I saved her from one, if you must know. She was in an alley getting gnawed on and I happened to come across her."
The slayer shakes her head and takes a seat at the kitchen island. The microwave beeps and I take out my glass, sipping it carefully as it's steaming. "Figures. You know…I don't know if I trust that girl. I mean, what's she doing in an alley at night? And have you seen the way she dresses? She just seems a little…"
"Odd?"
"Slutty." I chuckle. She's not wrong. "I mean…she came on to Xander when she met him." Bloody hell. Now that's just low. She came on to that ponce? Has the girl got no taste, what so ever? "I dunno if I trust her around Dawn. She might be a bad influence."
"You may be right. But I'd let sweet bit choose her own friends, if I were you."
"Well, you're not." And thank whatever gods for that. She sighs. "Willow met her last weekend. Jade came over that day Dawn was sick. Willow seemed to think she was nice. She said she was really polite. But…"
"You're thinking Eddie Haskal?" She stares at me blankly. "Eddie Haskal? Leave It to Beaver?" More of the blankness. "Oh, never mind. Hated the show, anyway. Now, Dru, on the other hand-"
"Yea, that's nice. Really not in the mood for tales of Spike and Dru's wacky hijinks." She looks at me thoughtfully, completely unaware of what a bitch she was just being. But what else can I expect? "What do you think of Jade? I mean you drive her home every day."
Now that really caught me unawares. Not just the willing questioning of my- the evil undead's- opinion, but the question itself. What do I think of Jade? Well…for starters, the word trollop comes to mind. But I've seen first hand that that is a façade and that façade can crumble. And there's something under it that's naked and sincere and intoxicatingly sweet, which is so much more desirable than her whorish ploys.
The girl's a pill and a hard one to swallow at that. She's running from something or maybe hiding from it. Maybe it's her life- her childhood, which- from what I can tell- wasn't the happiest of circumstances. But if she'd just stop running or hiding or playing these sodding games- she'd be beautiful.
All these thoughts run through my head as they have a hundred times over. But I look at the slayer and shrug indifferently. "She's all right."
*****
The slayer retired to bed after I promised to keep an eye on the girls and listened to her threats of slow and painful death if anything should happen to them. Now I'm sitting in the kitchen, listening to the rapid popping of the corn kernels in the microwave. Yes, sadly I've been reduced to a manservant for five little giggling hormone-bombs. The timer beeps and a few kernels pop as I pull the bag carefully out of the microwave and pour its contents into a large bowl. I move to carry the bowl into the living room but pause in the hallway as I hear the conversation going on inside.
"That was just so…romantic." one girl sniffles. They've been watching chick-flicks all night- a startlingly thorough collection of movies that almost all star Meg Ryan.
"I can't wait until I fall in love…" another nameless voice says dreamily.
"Oh, don't talk about love around Jade." I recognize this as Dawn's voice. It's followed by a snort from Jade.
"Why not?"
"She doesn't want to fall in love. Just this afternoon she gave me a long speech about how she's never gonna fall in love because all it boils down to is sex and it's pointless cause you can get that anytime…blah blah blah."
"That's horrible! Jade, how can you think that?"
"What?" Jade asks defensively. "It's the truth. Yeah, the stuff in these movies looks great- the happy fairy tale. But that's not how it really works. You're never gonna find a guy that's gonna give up being an angel for you or who's gonna meet you on top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day. I believe that love's just a cover for lust. Do you think once he gets in your pants that he's still gonna spout love poems?"
"Well, I think that's a horrible attitude. There've got to be some men out there who're capable of love."
"There are." That's Dawn. Oh, please don't let her say what I think she's about to say. "Spike is totally capable." Bloody fucking hell! "When it comes to love he's…he's very…" Please no. "…vulnerable." Shit! "When he falls in love, it's serious business. He totally drops the whole bad ass routine and really puts himself out there. He'd do anything for love."
"How sweet!" "Oh so romantic!" "Aww!" I haven't had thoughts this murderous since the last time I was in Xander's company.
"And how do you know all this Dawn?" Jade asks.
"Well, Buffy told me that he referred to himself as 'love's bitch' one time. Plus, he was with his girlfriend Drusilla for like a hund-…a really long time. And she was insane. Like…literally. And…this one time…I was going through his stuff when he wasn't at home," What? That little- "and I found these poems. Like…love poems and stuff. They were so sweet!"
"I have really hard time imagining Spike like that." Jade says.
"I don't! He's such a hottie! And who'd think there's a softie under that…hard…built…exterior." The room fills with giggles and I take advantage of that and enter the room.
"What's so funny?" I ask innocently as I hand the bowl of popcorn to a blushing teen.
"Nothing!" Dawn answers quickly.
"Some people in this room seem to think you have a-" Jade's cut off as a brunette jumps up and clamps a hand over her mouth.
I merely smirk at the girls, earning several red faces and giggles. "Do you all want anything else?" I ask. There's a resounding chorus of 'no's so, when I think no one's looking I wink at Jade and return to the kitchen.
I'm in the process of heating up another glass of blood when I hear someone behind me. "It's not polite to spy on other people's conversations." Jade says from the doorway.
"Can't help it." I motion to my ear. "Vampire. Kind of sensitive hearing."
"So how much did you hear?" she asks, going to sit at the island.
"About from when you all started discussing love…or not believeing in it." I look at her pointedly.
"I stand by my beliefs. But apparently we have a very different belief system. Dawn seems to think you're a hopeless romantic."
"She's right, I suppose. I admit it. I'm a sod when it comes to love." As an afterthought I add, "I'm gonna bloody skin that girl for going through my things, though." I pull out my glass of blood when the microwave beeps and take a sip.
"Is that…" I nod. "Oh."
"So, if you don't believe in love, what do you believe in?"
She shrugs. "Nothing, I suppose. Well…lust. I know that's real."
"I bet you do. Still…don't you think it's a little sad- never loving anyone?"
"No. Not at all. I've never been in love and I never will be. It's as simple as that. I'm happy that way." She says decidedly.
"Oh…you're happy that way. Which explains why you're so casual about your own death."
She sighs. "That has nothing to do with loving or not loving."
"One of these days, girl, you're going to get a rude awakening. One of these days."
**Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to review! It means a lot! Please keep with the feedback. Also, I'd like to state that the views and opinions expressed in this fanfic (by Jade) are not necessarily those of the author (me). Oh, and check out my website if you have the chance. It's not much and I pretty much never update it and Jade's not even posted on there but I have a few stories and a huge page all about me because I'm all self-absorbed and stuff. J/K.**