VI.

Our Story Unfolds

Lisa has received the new books she requested from the Yae Publishing House. While they are few in number, it seems its reception is overall positive, as lately there have been a number of people spending most of their idle time in the library reading.

As the librarian, she certainly enjoys the flock of people to sit down and read, but knowing Lisa, I can definitely imagine her cursing softly as more people means she has more work to do.

I giggled at the thought. She's hardworking but seems to despise it, and yet it is one of her charms I find adorable.

…strange. I am comfortable with these…thoughts regarding her, even when I have felt nothing but turmoil in the past few days because of it.

Am I already accepting these confusing feelings? Or am I just getting used to it?

Its also getting harder to focus, not when I remind myself of what I told Lisa.

To wait for my answer.

She told me to take my time, but I am also on the verge of making peace with my own feelings.

What a strange feeling indeed. Is this what attraction is? It makes one feel as if they are flying, bursting with all the beautiful colors. I have read about this, and it was called infatuation.

But mostly infatuation is the excitement one feels when they are around the one they admire.

Indeed, it is simply admiration, one too intense, even.

…so is this infatuation? No…I don't think it is. I am all alone now, in my own kitchen, and yet I am reminded of what transpired here.

I…wish to do more.

"Goodness, such frivolous, impure thoughts." I softly told myself, as I took a sip of the Dandelion Wine in my own glass.

It seems there was a little left on the bottle. I thought we emptied it during my birthday.

This is definitely not infatuation. I do not feel excited when Lisa is around, I feel calm. She brings me…peace.

So what is it?

I looked at the table and saw the book that Lisa gave me. It was one of the books that hooked people into coming to the library daily to read and finish.

It's a love story, but also a sad one. The story goes as follows:

There is a girl that fell in love with another girl, and the girl she fell for is a writer. The writer wasn't very sociable, yet thanks to this girl, she was able to open up.

They became lovers, and all went well, until one day the girl suddenly fell unconscious. Her lover, the writer, soon found out that she has an uncurable illness, and that she is merely living on borrowed time.

Once the two of them talked about it, the girl then told the writer to promise her that she would write about their love story. Before she dies, she must read it fully.

It was a very short read, surprisingly. I only just finished it earlier, before I began emptying this bottle of Dandelion Wine.

The ending…was bittersweet. The writer finished her story, their love story, and the girl was able to read all of it…except the ending that the writer wrote for them.

She wrote that the girl would survive, and that they would live happily together, but that wasn't what happened in their reality.

I took another sip from my glass. Recalling the story made me realize how we only not take for granted the time given to us, but also these special feelings that blossom and develop.

If…If Lisa were living on borrowed time, would I have the courage to tell her of my feelings, and to spend time with her daily to make her final moments special? Would I, like the writer in the story, write about our own love story, for her to read before she goes forever?

…if those were my circumstances, then perhaps I would. I would do it now, even.

I managed to laugh softly. "You definitely have all the time to think about 'what-ifs', don't you Jean?" I told myself, as I emptied my glass. I let out a satisfied sigh as I now finally poured all of what remains in the bottle of Dandelion Wine in my glass.

I placed the empty bottle on the table and simply tossed its cork on the table as well.

I guess all this self-reflection has made me lax, too. I wonder what Lisa would think…

…is Lisa thinking about me too?

"Wishful thinking…" I muttered, as I took a sip of my glass.

Is it really wishful thinking? She was the one that confessed, so perhaps she is in a similar state of turmoil as I?

Maybe, just maybe…

"…she wishes for me to be at her side, the same way I do, too."

I feel so lonely.

I have always lived alone, but I feel lonely.

Of course I know why. Its her.

Jean. Oh Jean…

"…this is torture." I muttered, as I buried my face onto my pillow and squealed.

I was in love. No, not "was".

I am truly, deeply, and madly in love with the Dandelion Knight. The Acting Grand Master.

The woman named Jean Gunnhildr.

How long has this attraction festered within me? How long has this admiration been present? How long had my gazes stayed at her?

Ever since we first met, when I was first recruited. That long…

"…that far, huh?" I muttered, as I composed myself.

Its quite a shame she wasn't present in the library along those flock of people, reading and being excited about the new stories. Knee deep in work and papers as always, I suppose.

…but I guess it's a good thing she wasn't there? I would definitely have lost focus if she were there.

I would just look at her the entire time, admiring her from afar, or even sitting with her and just enjoy her company.

"Dear me, I am in love…" I softly spoke, as I can feel my cheeks heat up.

I am feeling flustered over nothing.

…no, I'm feeling flustered because I am in love.

I'm surprised it didn't take this long for me to accept them. Perhaps I have always been this eager, this prepared?

Or perhaps this is intricately linked to my lifelong goal of seeking out the truth?

No, definitely not that, but the other one.

My lifelong goal of finding someone who I can share these things, these insights with.

Someone I am comfortable being with, someone that I can feel at peace with.

Someone who understands.

I giggled. "Oh Lisa, you're being so childish again~"

And yet it is alright. If it's love, why should I stop it? Who am I to deny the truth that comes deeply from one's own heart?

"I'm sorry for calling you when the library is in a pretty hectic state, Lisa." Jean apologized as the librarian walked toward her.

She shook her head. "No need to be so formal, Jean. Its alright." She replied, and Jean looked at her. She gave her a small smile.

"What did you call me here for? Want to talk about the story every person in Mondstadt is seemingly invested in?" she asked, and Jean shook her head.

"While I would love to, that is not why I called you here. I…think you already know why." She told her, as she stood up.

Lisa's eyes widened, and she blushed a bit. "Dearest Jean, you already…" she began, but she did not continue speaking.

Jean simply nodded. "I am ready to answer your feelings, Lisa. Will you accompany me to Windrise? I…I want to be perfectly calm for this." She told her, as she reached for hands, holding them gently.

Lisa giggled, looking at her with a smile. "Certainly, Jean."