I stepped inside. I rubbed my cat's stomach as he threw himself down on my feet and writhed around begging for attention. I kicked off my shoes and peeled off my hose and padded into the kitchen to retrieve the casserole. And I thought. This was one of those times that made me wish fiercely for Aerith. If she were here, I'd tell her everything that had just happened, and she'd grin and give me advice and then she'd tease me until I pretended to smother myself with a couch cushion – as had happened, once, in Costa del Sol, though we'd been talking about Cloud then. Now I really needed her. Maybe she could have told me what I'd been thinking, because I didn't know.
I'd kind of suspected the Turks weren't up to much good. They seldom were, really, according to Cloud. I hadn't actually thought that he was working with the gangs, though. They'd started to form, in Junon and a few other places that were hard-hit. Junon – Upper Junon, anyway – was a Shinra town. Almost everyone here worked for the company; those who didn't made their living supplying things to those who did. And now they were all out of luck.
Shinra had fallen, and taken the world's economy with it. Not only had it been the world's largest employer, and government, but most of industry relied on it somehow, if only for lighting. And refrigeration; food storage was a massive problem in most of the world now. The Lifestream had all rushed to Midgar and other points where it was needed, and away from the mako wells. Very few places had our objections to running mako power, but now they couldn't. And most of the processing had taken place in Midgar. Some areas managed to keep mako power – the Gold Saucer, for one – and others, like Wutai (which got all its electricity from wind power) or Cosmo Canyon, hadn't been affected, but most had to scramble for a solution or do without.
Junon was doing all right in that regard. They had backup generators using coal or petroleum or something. Their electricity had been out for less than a day, or so I'd heard. We had TV here, though the broadcasting was substantially reduced, and electric lights and appliances, though the bills were highway robbery. But almost everyone here had worked for Shinra, and obviously they didn't any longer. There wasn't much money to go around. I sometimes worried that the power company (currently controlled by the Marcuses, or so I'd heard) would go under. Of course the Marcuses would come out of it wealthy.
A few powerful families controlled the town now, along with the remnants of the Shinra military. I knew most of the best soldiers had been killed, but even the dregs of the military can kill a lot of civilians, when they have guns and the civilians don't. They didn't really affect my life directly, but I think they kept all the services running and I knew the bar paid the San Miguels protection money. If Rude had been telling the truth, the Turks worked for two of the dominant families. I wondered if they were playing both sides against the middle, or just keeping their hands in with more than one side, a way of avoiding taking sides. And why hadn't they allied with the military instead?
I was not going to ask him, I decided, as I fed the cat. I didn't want to know. I didn't especially care about the corruption; at least, unlike Shinra, their power was limited. No one family had a monopoly, and they kept things running. But I didn't want to be involved in it, either. I just wanted to keep my head down and get by, and dating him probably wouldn't help with that. But while I was washing my face, I noticed that my eyes were a bit red when the light hit them a certain way. I found myself smiling at the mirror. I crawled into bed, shut off the lamp, curled up so the cat could make his space behind my knees. I was too tired to think about it any longer.
Two days passed, and then the weather turned cold. I'd grown up in the mountains, but I hated winter, and so I bundled up, wearing heavy tights under my jeans and thermal undershirts under my bulky sweaters. My tips dropped. Maya's mood improved greatly, whether because I was covered up, because she was making more money than I was, or just because of her soldier, I wasn't sure. I saw Rude once, but he just sat at the bar for one drink, which looked like something on the rocks and which certainly wasn't his usual beer. We nodded a greeting, but that was all.
About a week later, he was back at the table where I'd first waited on him, on one of the nights I closed. "Did you find out my work schedule, too?" I asked, not in the best of moods.
"No, just guessed. You alternate late and early days, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"Not stalking you," he said, and there was a hint of humor in his voice.
"If you say so," I replied, mollified, and then Tir yelled for me and I had to take the order and hurry over to the bar. Maya had disappeared and I needed to cover a table or two.
She reappeared after a while, but Tir had already called Sally in to finish her shift, and he fired Maya. I noticed her glaring at me, as if I'd had something to do with it. I'd be glad to have her gone later, but at the moment it was more a hassle than anything. I apologized when I brought Rude his beer.
"It happens. Is it that fish-brained girl?"
"Yeah. Tir finally had enough, I guess. So service will be a little slow tonight."
"I'll make this one last," he said.
"You never drink anything harder. Why is that?"
He shrugged. "Sometimes I do. Usually on business. Just like the taste of beer."
"Yeah. Just wondered. Guess I need to go, again."
Sally took her time in arriving – the buses had been held up by an accident. I didn't really have any extra time to talk to him, which was just as well. It had occurred to me that he'd developed this attraction while he was supposed to be trying to arrest or kill me, which added a creepy element to it all, and I probably shouldn't encourage him. I tried not to remember that big silly grin he'd gotten when I kissed him goodnight. He was a dangerous former Shinra employee, after all. Thinking he was sweet was just stupid.
He hung around till closing time, then left along with the last few. While I was sweeping up, I noticed a human shape through the fogged window at the front and stepped outside. He was there, in a long black duster and, still, his shades. "Have you been here the whole time?" I asked, and he lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "You'll freeze to death! They say people lose the most heat through their heads. Come inside," I said, and he followed me in, leaned against a wall near the front while we finished up. He helped me on with my coat, again; Tir cast me an inquiring glance, and I smiled reassuringly. I was pretty sure I could beat him in a fight, or at least hurt him enough to give me time to run, if I needed to. Tir nodded, though he still looked doubtful, and we split up at the corner.
"Lockhart. Need to tell you something."
"Okay." There was a long pause. "Go on." It was too dark to make out his eyes even from the side. Half the streetlights are burned out along this route. If he was going to kill me, this was his chance.
"We don't have you under surveillance. Or Strife, for that matter."
"None of us?"
"Wallace, Highwind, and the princess."
"Yuffie? What on earth kind of danger could she be? And who'd she be dangerous to?"
"'Dyou remember hearing about the war with Wutai? Or the Great War? Or the Nine Years War, the Winter's War?" he asked, challengingly.
"Well, the war with Wutai, but I was little then. We never got to it in school. And I remember studying the Great War, a little." I never even finished high school.
"Wutai started all of them, usually by invading somewhere. And those are just the past couple centuries. They were an empire, long time ago, and they never forgot."
"Yeah, that's what the textbooks said. The textbooks that were written by Shinra."
He snorted. "I took those classes in college, too, Lockhart. You learn more there, and a lot of it doesn't flatter Shinra. The head of the history department fought in the Great War. He was a fossil, but you couldn't fool him about who started what. And the university was about the only place in Midgar that had an independent press. Lot of opposition on campus. My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I'd accepted the Turks' offer."
"Well, that was kind of shitty of her."
He shrugged. "She would have eventually anyway. Point is, just 'cause you hate Shinra and Shinra won the war doesn't mean Wutai never did anything wrong. You can't just blindly side with with the underdog."
"I didn't say I was. I just don't see how Yuffie has any real power on her own. Or interest in doing anything with it if she had it." Anything other than bankrupting the country to buy all the world's materia. Or sending the army out to confiscate it.
"Not yet. Godo's got a heart condition and she's his only kid."
"Oh." I looked down at my feet. "But what about the danger? Shinra doesn't exist anymore."
"Exactly. Pretty easy to take over the world when there's no one to stop her. Not saying she would, just... keeping an eye on her."
The Turks save civilization? I tried not to snicker at the image, changed the subject. "So if you weren't, uh, surveilling Cloud..."
"The thing about the ranch was in the papers around there, and we get those delivered. Elena had a friend in the admissions office who broke a few rules to tell us about the college thing. He made the dean's list, and the names from that were published in the paper too."
"Oh. And the stuff about me?" We were on the corner by my apartment. I turned right, to take the long way around the block.
"Guessing."
"Well, good." I pulled my stocking cap down over my ears. "How'd you know all that about history?"
"Majored in it."
"You?"
"What? I liked it."
"Huh. I just never thought of the Turks requiring a college degree. Or if they did, it'd be in, I dunno, something scary and number-intensive."
"They liked liberal arts. Research skills. That's how I heard about you."
"It was?" Oh, Rude, not another revelation that'd creep me out once I gave it some thought.
"Yeah. Got a surveillance camera image from the district office robbery, before you started blowing people up. Had to identify you and do a profile. You, uh, you kind of impressed me." He mumbled the last sentene, looking down at his feet.
"Rude, I don't even know your first name," I said, a bit helplessly. I felt on very uneven footing with him.
"Nicholas."
"That's a nice name."
"Not like the one I actually use, huh?"
"I didn't say that," I protested.
He smiled at me. He actually had a nice smile when he wasn't trying to look creepy. "I know. Why're we taking the long way around?"
"I didn't know you'd recognize the route. I wanted to hear what else you had to say."
"Well... you have."
That shut me up for a little while. We were almost there again. I jammed my hands harder in my pockets. "If it's going to be this cold I wish it'd snow."
"Don't like the cold?" he asked, opening the door for me – the apartment's not so nice that we have a doorman.
"Hate it. When I was little I always wanted to move to a warm place."
"Should have picked Costa when you moved."
"The cost of living's so high there. I didn't have that much in savings, and you can only sell off so many materia before you run out." And Junon suited my mood. Everyone in Costa was tan and happy.
".....glad you didn't." He was so quiet I barely heard him, and wasn't totally sure that was what he'd said, but I found myself smiling into my scarf for the entire elevator ride.
"You want to come inside and warm up?" I asked as I stepped out of the elevator, then winced, realizing how suggestive that could sound. "Uh, I mean, like coffee."
"Sure," he agreed, and followed me out and down the hall, waited while I unlocked the door. "I didn't think you meant... oh hey!"
My cat had come bounding up, mewing, while I was still taking off my hat and coat, and Rude crouched down to pet him. The cat arched his back into the stroking but proceeded under his hand, walking over to me to twine around my ankles. I bent down to pick him up, scratching him behind the ears. "Yeah, I know, I was out late rather than sitting around admiring you... yes, I'm sorry..."
Rude was grinning. He reached out tentatively, and I smiled encouragement at him. The cat rested his head on my arm as Rude scratched behind his ears. "He likes you," I said, with a big, stupid grin on my face. My cat had at one point tried to befriend a plumber as he worked under the sink; the nice surprise about this was that Rude liked the cat.
"I always liked animals," he said, and grinned as the cat's purring became audible. "What's his name?"
"He kind of doesn't have one. I call him Cat."
"Well, it fits," he agreed, and I laughed. "It's not like he'd come when you called anyway, right?"
"Exactly," I said, and shifted the cat's weight in my arms. He didn't like that much, though, and he stretched irritably toward the ground until I let him jump. He batted his tail against my legs, then brushed against Rude's before stalking off with his tail in the air.
"You're gonna have white cat hair all over you," I told him, grinning a bit. They'd never looked rumpled even when we beat them in a fight, but my kitten could best the suit.
"It'll come off," he said placidly, as he peeled off his overcoat.
"Oh yeah, hot drinks. You want coffee, hot chocolate, or some tea?"
"Whatever's least trouble," he replied, hanging up his coat.
I headed into the tiny kitchen, began pulling ingredients out of the cabinets. "Hot chocolate okay?" I asked, and peered around the corner when I got no answer. He was sitting on the couch, and my cat had jumped up on his lap. "Hot chocolate?" I repeated.
"Oh. Yeah, sounds good," he agreed. I went back into the kitchen, mixed the sugar and cocoa and milk and set them on the stove to heat. I stirred until the scrape of spoon on saucepan got too grating, then went around the corner again to look at them. In the living room, Rude was bemusedly staring at a curled-up ball of white fluff.
"He started doing this kneading thing on my leg, then he circled around and curled up. I think he's asleep," he reported in slightly hushed tones.
"Probably. Cats are good at that," I said, still smiling.
"I never had one," he said. "Hey, if you ever get sick of him..."
"Nah... he's a royal pain in the ass sometimes, but he's my royal pain in the ass, you know?" I went back into the kitchen to stir the hot chocolate.
"Sort of like having a little furry white Elena," he commented. I started laughing, halfway giddy; maybe I'd been more tense than I thought. When I'd subsided, he continued. "Kidding. She's not that bad. Good kid. Just never finished her training."
"She missed 'Advanced Lurking' and 'Being Really Quiet'?" I teased.
"Pretty much. We're all slipping, though," he said. "Black suits instead of navy, things like that."
"I thought something looked different!" I exclaimed, poking my head around the corner to grin at him. "That explains it."
"Well, we're not Shinra anymore. Not really entitled to wear the blue."
"Oh." I hadn't thought it was as much a uniform as that. Or that they took their duties so seriously.
"Half the time she let orders slip, it was on purpose. So you'd go where we wanted you." I had no idea why he was harping on Elena. Defending the Turks' honor, maybe. Trying to let me know that she wasn't insane or stupid, just crafty. Half the time, anyway.
"Rude, why are you trying to sell me on her? She always dreamed of being a barmaid when she grew up?" I asked as I poured the drinks into two mugs.
"No, uh..." he stammered, as I brought the hot chocolate out. His hand brushed mine, maybe by accident, as I handed him his. "I'd like you to meet 'em sometime. And I figure there's no chance you'd ever like Reno, so I'd better work double hard on 'Lena."
I remembered Wedge, patting his belly fondly and saying "This is all your fault." Jessie hunched over the bomb components, brow furrowed in concentration. Biggs, working his way steadily through a bottle of wine. And all the people I'd known in the Sector, from my regulars at the bar to that nice old lady who loaned me five gil at the market once. I'd never had the chance to pay her back. "I'm inclined not to like Reno, you're right."
"It was orders," he said hopelessly.
"Yeah. I know." I looked into the hot chocolate rather than at his face. "And I guess it's no different than what we did, but..."
"Why don't you hate me for that?" he asked. I was silent for a long time. "Do you hate me for that?" he insisted, worriedly.
"Well... you weren't there. So I guess I never really blamed you for it like I did him. And myself. All of us, I mean... Shinra was hardly nice, but you wouldn't have done something that extreme if not for Avalanche. Right?"
"No."
"Yeah," I sighed. "So that's why."
He patted my shoulder. I looked up at him, and he tried a small smile. "If you don't want, I won't ask you to meet 'em," he offered, sounding helpless, as if he expected me to burst into tears. I'd been halfway there, which just went to show I needed sleep.
I forced a smile. "That wasn't what I meant. I... well, we haven't really had a date yet, you know. I mean, we should probably at least get one real one under our belts before you start introducing me to your friends."
"Yet?" He sounded hopeful. The corner of his mouth had quirked up again, I noticed.
"Well, you know..."
He took a long drink of the hot chocolate, probably trying to hide the smile, though it was still there when he lowered the mug. He glanced at the clock as he wiped his mouth. "Getting late. I better go."
"Getting early, you mean. Not much point to going home, is there?"
"You inviting me to spend the night?" he asked, hopeful.
"I'll make up the couch for you if you want to stay..."
"Damn."
"Rude!"
"...can't blame a guy for hoping..."
I just made a sort of hmmph noise and got up to rinse out the cups.
"I'll stay," he said hastily, as if I were about to withdraw the offer.
"Don't do me any favors," I huffed at him, but I was already on my way to the linen closet, if only to show him I wasn't mad at him.
He tried to help me tuck in the sheets, but my cat kept pouncing on the wrinkles, so Rude picked him up to get him out of the way. And stood back to watch me bending over the couch, but I realized I wasn't bothered by that. Evidently I did like the guy, then.
I did everything I needed to – found a spare toothbrush for him, volunteered to keep the cat in my room (he declined) and went back to my own to change clothes and sleep. Curled up in bed, I waited for my feet to warm up and my brain to stop working. I'd apparently decided to date a Turk without any conscious decision on my part. And that might have been a horrible idea, but I had no one I could ask for a second opinion. He had been awfully cute, though, blushing and opening doors for me. And he wasn't trying to kill me. But I'd never seen his eyes directly. I'd have to ask him about that, later, I thought sleepily, and that's the last coherent thought I remember.