A/N: Sorry about the relatively long delay between the last chapter and this one (long given that previously I'd posted an update every three days or so.)
I woke up the next day in a strangely happy mood, and it took me a moment to remember why. Then I burrowed back down into the covers to bask. I had a brief vision of calling Aerith, happily recapping the previous evening for her.
When he'd pulled back, he'd smiled, tentatively, as if I still might change my mind and slap him. I'd smiled back, and said "I need to start wearing heels." My neck hurt.
"Be hell on your feet, with your job," he'd replied. "We'll just get you a box to stand on."
"Yeah, that's romantic," I'd retorted, and he laughed, which broke the mood enough that we started walking again, talking about other things, nothing even remotely memorable: weather and the problems with the phone service around here and my inability to remember to buy cat litter. In the elevator up to my apartment, we fell awkwardly silent until just before we reached my floor. He turned to me, opened his mouth to say something, then stopped, and I realized he hadn't put the sunglasses back on yet. I heard the ding, and the doors slid open.
"See you tomorrow?" he managed, after a hesitation, and I'd nodded, smiling, and then we both stuck an arm out to hold the door open so I could step out.
"G'night..." I mumbled, almost embarrassed, and he echoed "Night," just before the door closed. I stood in the hall, looking at the elevator doors for a moment before turning, letting myself into my place, and beaming at my cat.
That morning I actually hummed, happily and tunelessly, as I dumped sugar in my coffee and food in my cat's dish. I was disgusted when I caught myself at it, but I hummed. So there was one good reason to be thankful I lived alone – no one to catch me at it. Another reason was that I could lounge around in my pajama pants and drink my coffee and not worry about making noise. Cloud always thought I was crazy for waking with the dawn just in order to start my day slow; now, I could do this without disturbing anyone.
Although I guess that doesn't stop them from disturbing me. It was a little after eight when I heard the knock at the door. I answered it, and blinked at him. "Rude? What are you doing here so early?" He was holding a bakery box.
"Donuts," he offered, by way of explanation.
"Yeah, I guessed that. Um, why?" I took the box off his hands. "Come on inside."
"Well, sugar's a good bribe. And I figured you for an early riser."
"Well, I am, but why do I need bribing? Oh, these are the good kind!" Meaning from the Daybreak Bakery. All glazed and chocolate-frosted, and still warm. Perfect.
"Figure a bribe never hurts," he said, grabbing one out of the box himself. My cat jumped on his lap and tried to snag the donut with a paw.
"Here, I'll go get you a plate, you can use it as a shield for your food," I offered. "Hi," he said to the cat, pushing it away from the donut but basically ignoring me, so I went for the plates. "You know, some guys bring flowers," I added, teasing, as I handed one to him and settled the box on the coffee table.
"You rather have those?"
I remembered the first flower anyone ever gave me. The one Cloud bought from Aerith. In a strange, backwards way, that was the relationship between the three of us in a nutshell. "Nah," I said, perching on the arm of the only chair. "You can't eat them."
"Yeah. Uh. The bribe's because I won't be around the bar tonight. Wanted you to know I'm not avoiding you or anything."
"That's fine," I told him, completely failing to understand why this would be a problem. "I wouldn't have figured you were. It wasn't like we had tickets to the opera or anything. I just like seeing you."
"You do?" he asked, sounding surprised.
"Noooo, I scream and run away whenever you walk in the bar. Hadn't you noticed?"
He gave me a look, or maybe just checked me out. Without seeing his eyes, it's a bit hard to tell. I smiled sweetly at him. He sighed and looked down at his hands.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
"......Lockhart, what... are we?" he managed to say, sounding a bit strangled. He was staring at his clasped hands, very fixedly. He didn't seem to mind that my cat was sharpening his claws on his pants leg. I got up, pulled the cat away, and sat on the couch next to him, holding the cat on my lap. As usual when faced with a lap it didn't like, my cat jumped off and huffed over to the chair I'd vacated. Rude barely looked up the whole time.
"You mean like a couple?" I asked gently. He nodded, almost imperceptibly. I was trying to see his eyes from the side, but I couldn't make out his expression. "I don't know, Rude. I'm not seeing anyone else, and, uh, I... I like you, so, uh, I guess..."
"You do?" he repeated, glancing over at me. I tried to smile reassuringly and nodded. He smiled a little, too.
"What about you?" I asked, just trying to fill up the silence.
"Lockhart, I can't even think about anyone else. I'm..." he stopped, pushed his sunglasses back up on his face. I saw him swallow hard, and I reached out to touch his arm. He covered my hand with his, raised it to his lips and kissed the palm. It was my turn to look down and try to hide my expression.
"....never been good at these talks...." he said quietly. He was still holding my hand, studying it. I wondered what he was getting out of it. The sight of two ragged hangnails, the rough skin, not quite callused, along the base of my fingers, the scar on the back of my hand. Or maybe just an excuse not to look at my face. I've been there too, afraid to see the feelings in someone else's eyes. Because they might not be the same as yours, or then again, they might be, and either option is terrifying. I always thought being on the other end of this equation would feel better than it does.
"Neither am I," I said softly. "I really do care about you, though." I saw him smile at my hand, maybe with a touch of sadness, though it was hard to tell. I wished I could just fall in love with him. Even if he wasn't in love with me, at least I'd be on familiar turf again.
There was a long pause, and I wondered if I'd said something wrong. Then he finally looked up, brushed the hair off my face. "Me too," he agreed, and I smiled.
"I'd kiss you, but, y'know, morning breath," I told him.
He brushed his lips just over the corner of my mouth. "I don't mind. Better go, though. Business." I nodded, didn't say anything. He stood, and when I looked up at him, he just stared at me for a moment. "Does it bother you?" he asked.
"Not really. Maybe it should, but I don't know specifically what you do, and what would the worst of it be? Killing people? I've got no room to get judgmental over that."
"At least you had a reason."
"It bothers you, doesn't it?" I asked, finally realizing.
"Some. It was different, with Shinra." My face must have changed, because he added, "Sorry."
"If you need to talk, though..."
"Maybe tomorrow," he added. "Have to take care of this first." I nodded, again, and he let himself out.
I got into work a bit late that day. Tir was back in the office, and Kiri was setting up. But she wasn't too busy to stop and greet me with a broad grin. "Soooooo..." she said.
"What?" I asked, completely baffled.
"Well, you're late, so you must have slept in... and you walked out with your boyfriend last night... and you're wearing a turtleneck, so you've probably got a hickey to hide..."
"I huh? Did you just say hickey? Am I twelve again?"
"Hickey's a perfectly good word. Come on, tell me everything!"
"Since when are we friends?" I demanded, without even an attempt at tact.
"Well jeez, Tifa. I'm just trying to be friendly. Sex is a good thing to bond over." I should have guessed she'd be impervious to rudeness.
"It is?"
"Yeah, that and drinking."
"Um, I think you and I come from different planets, Kiri. Besides, I didn't have sex with him. I just like this shirt." I busied myself about the tables, clattering the chairs down onto the floor.
"You didn't?" she asked, crestfallen.
"No." She was waiting for me to say something else, and I guess there's only so long I can keep everything in, because I added, "We did decide we're together, like in a relationship. I think. I'm pretty sure. And we finally got around to kissing."
"Just now? Oh, that is so cute! Don't look at me like that, I'm not being condescending."
"You make it hard to tell," I retorted sourly. She waved that off. I barely even bristled, oddly enough.
"So you guys are serious?"
"Oh, I don't know. I haven't asked and he hasn't said. Isn't it enough that we had the relationship talk without expanding it?"
"Yeah, he seems like he'd be awfully close-mouthed about that kind of stuff."
"Actually, he brought it up."
"Oh, that's so sweet! I guess he is pretty serious about you, then."
"I don't know. I kind of want to just go on without analyzing everything. It's a nice change from my last boyfriend."
"What was he like?"
"It wasn't him, it was me... we got together just before Meteor fell, and you know, there was this big intense thing, and then it turns out we didn't die, and it's like, now we've got to figure out how to have a real relationship. And there was this bizarre love triangle, and... well, it's complicated." And how in the world could I tell her without letting slip about Avalanche and Sephiroth and all those things that would make me very unpopular around here? I wasn't sure it was possible. I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about it.
"I will definitely have to pry this out of you later."
"You two get to work!" Tir barked, sticking his head out of the office, and we both bustled around for a bit in an effort to look busy. And then our first few customers started coming in, so she couldn't grill me any further. And I blessed whatever deity might exist for that.
Reno and Elena came in after a while, too. I let Kiri wait on them, but Elena kept trying to signal me over, practically bouncing out of her chair. Finally, I gave in and went to talk to them.
"Don't worry about him too much," Elena blurted the minute I came up. "It's just Joey, so he shouldn't have any trouble, and—"
"What?" I asked, blank, looking from one face to the other.
"Elena," Reno said warningly at almost the same moment.
"Sorry!" she squeaked, practically hunkering down in her chair. "I just thought she looked worried!"
"Should I be worried?" I demanded, aiming the question more at Reno.
"Nah. We're Turks. This guy's no challenge."
"Is it likely to be a fight? I thought you just, you know, shot them or... or something." Why didn't I ever watch those Mafia movies back when cable existed?
"Well—" Elena began, but Reno interrupted to say "He'll be fine, he'll be fine."
"Great. Well, I wasn't worried before," I grumbled, trying to smile. Trying not to actually look concerned.
"At least he's really heavily armed!" Elena chirped, and Reno buried his head in his hands. I just turned and walked away.
I don't know how long Barret had been around before I spotted him, but when I did I nearly dropped my tray. He wasn't drinking, but he was sitting at a table with a man I vaguely recognized. As I took another order, I tried to place him. Finally, I realized it was Fred, the one Rude had shared a drink with some time before. He got up from Barret's table and walked out. I passed him, on my way to Barret's table, and he managed to look me over. Kiri and I shared an eye-roll over that.
Barret must have noticed me before I spotted him, because he greeted me with an unsurprised, "Hey, Tif'! How's it goin'?"
"Pretty good..." I answered, not managing to fake cheerfulness properly. "I had no idea you'd be around here. What brings you here?"
"Just a layover. I'm headed for Kalm, private business..."
"Oh," I said, vaguely understanding. Thanks to Rude, I never want to ask about 'business,' and the fact that he'd been meeting with Fred added to my reluctance. "How are things going with you? You're looking good." He was, too. He'd lost the hunted, desperate look he'd had so much in our Avalanche days. His hair and beard were neatly trimmed, and he'd traded in the gun-arm for a more traditional prosthetic hand. And he was wearing a gray business suit, a look that, to my surprise, worked well on him.
"Fine, just fine. Marlene's doing well in school, coal prices are good, Corel's population is growing again and we finally got the new constitution fully ratified."
"Barret, that's great," I said warmly. I hadn't followed the news closely, but I knew how hard he'd worked on the constitution and how much Corel as a nation meant to him. "It really is. Can I get you anything?"
"Whatever you've got on tap, I guess. Unless it's that Midgarsorm piss," he said with a grin, and I assured him it wasn't and went to get it. When I came back, he was staring off to the left and looked noticeably less content.
"Something wrong?" I asked.
"Looks like you just in Shinra central around here," he observed, his eyes hard. I followed his gaze over to Reno and Elena's table. They were both managing to look menacing, which was all the more impressive since I hadn't thought of them as such even when we fought them all the time.
"Oh. Yeah, I guess so, a little."
"They come in here a lot?"
"Kind of..." I answered weakly. "They never give us any trouble. And they tip well."
"Yeah, I bet. With the ties they have to slime, they probably rich." I looked at him sharply, not that he noticed. I'd also noticed that his accent was coming back, stronger than ever; he'd adopted it, years ago, in a conscious effort to sound tough, and dropped it as he rose to new prominence in Corellian politics.
"I don't know..." I said. Spineless. "They seem decent enough." And weren't you just talking to some of the slime they have ties to? I wanted to ask, but I didn't.
"Just an act," he said confidently.
"Maybe so... hold on a second, Barret, okay?" Reno had just lit a cigarette, something I'd never noticed him doing before, and more to the point, Tir had gone to all kinds of trouble to make this place non-smoking.
"Excuse me," I said, as soon as I got near. "You aren't allowed to smoke in here, sir."
"Oh. My mistake," he agreed pleasantly, and took a drag on the cigarette. I reached for it, and he grabbed me by the wrist, hard enough to make me wince. "Did you know he was coming here?" he hissed.
"Let go of me!" I insisted, but quietly. God forbid I make a scene. "I had no idea! It was a complete surprise to me, I'm not even in touch with him, and I didn't even tell him I know you guys except as customers so let go of me now."
He let go. I yanked the cigarette out of his mouth, considered putting it out on his hand, and instead dropped it in what was left of his beer. I wrinkled my nose against the stench. He didn't even react.
"You can bring me another on the house," he told me, his voice surprisingly smooth and sounding genuinely dangerous for the first time I could remember. "Actually, no. Vodka. Bring us the whole bottle."
"I... but... gah... wait!" Elena protested.
"Vodka," he repeated firmly at me. "Elena, you can't spazz out publicly at a time like this," he added under his breath as I was walking away.
I went back to make some more small talk with Barret, nothing significant, just a distraction from all the weirdness. He left after he'd finished his one beer. Reno and Elena stayed put. I actually saw Elena drink at least one shot of the vodka and I heard not a single giggle from her. I guess she can perform when under the right amount of pressure, though I didn't fully understand why they were under pressure.
Rude came in, not long before closing time. He hugged me tightly, but silently, and then went to wait outside for me and, from what I could see, confer with the others. They were just leaving as I stepped outside.
"So you saw Wallace?" he asked, sounding tired.
"He was talking to that guy you know. Fred." His brows contracted, sort of a frown that only involved his eyes. "Rude, you can curse. I don't mind."
"Turk thing again. Have to keep control. Reno and Elena didn't know?"
"I'm not sure. I didn't mention it to them, I thought they'd have seen... but he was sort of over in a corner. Maybe not."
"They didn't mention it. I'll have to tell them, but I can guess how this'll turn out. Lockhart, we aren't staying in Junon."
"You aren't?" I repeated, trying to process this, and to confirm indirectly that I wasn't expected to come along. He shook his head. "Where are you going?"
"Midgar. Reeve's leading in the polls, he'll need bodyguards even before the election." And Rude had reached this decision right after Barret had been seen talking to someone with ties to one of the families. The realization must have shown on my face, because he continued, more gently, "Wallace might just be an old friend of his. Fred's. Has to have some, I figure. We should still go protect Reeve."
"Why would Barret be... negotiating....?"
"D'you think he was?" I just stared at him, confused and unhappy and unable to answer. He studied me for a moment, then continued. "Reeve's spoken out in favor of hydroelectric power. Doesn't go over well with a coal town. Don't know that Wallace really would do anything drastic, but you can't rule anything out."
"I guess not," I sighed. He slipped an arm around me, drew me close against him. I leaned against his side, didn't speak the rest of the way home. We also didn't take the long way around. "At least you can get out of all this," I said, as we drew near my apartment. He let go of me, reaching to open the door, and I stepped just inside.
"Hate to leave you, though," he said, and I turned to him with the beginnings of a smile. He touched my face lightly, tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I should get to see you again before we go."
"Good," I said softly, and we managed a slightly awkward kiss goodnight before he turned to go.