Phantom Feelings

Chapter 2

By Sakata Ri Houjun

~***************~

The door to his bedroom busted open without so much as a knock and a redheaded blur came rushing in. Kouji barely had time to yank a sheet over himself and sit up before his buddy was on him. The younger bandit smacked Kouji lightly on the head, but it still left his ears ringing.

"God damned bastard!"

The older bandit barely managed a weak smile that only seemed to piss Tasuki off even more. "Yamero, Gen-chan. I'm injured here."

"And that fact alone is keeping me from beating your ass," he snarled back. "You know you could've died back there if Chichiri hadn't found you this morning? And then where would I be?"

"You'd have been fine without me, Genrou," Kouji muttered quietly as he frowned, envisioning his friend wrapped in his lover's arms and forgetting him completely.

"Iie, he wouldn't have been." The blue-haired monk stood in the doorway and sighed wearily. "Despite the strong front he puts up, you know as well as I do that Tasuki was very worried about you last night. We all were."

Kouji smirked at he looked up at the redhead. "Were you really worried, Gen-chan?"

"Don't change the fucking subject," he growled back menacingly. "You've been acting very fucked up in the head lately. I want to know why the hell you've been acting so stupid, going out last night in that storm."

"Tasuki," the older seishi murmured as he fully entered the room and wrapped his arms around his lover, trying to calm and contain the mounting anger. "Go easy on him, he's been through a lot lately. He needs some food and rest first."

"Yeah, yeah," the younger man muttered, knowing he would lose this argument. "Just so long as we talk, though." He shot a glare at his friend and Chichiri shook his head in exasperation before smiling at Kouji.

The blue-haired bandit nodded wearily, his smile slipping away as he yawned. He watched as his two friends exited his room and sighed. He knew they cared about him, but he still felt jealous of their love. It always seemed that he was just meant to be alone for the rest of his life, the best friend to the perfect couple.

Chichiri mentioned they were going to send in food, but he wasn't hungry in the least. Not for food, anyway. The soul-deep longing now gnawing away at the pit of his stomach was for the mysterious man he'd dreamed about. The one he'd held tight to him for all too short a time, the one he'd kissed as if there would be no tomorrow.

Gods, it had seemed so real!

Real. Right. But he was one hell of a hallucination. He woke this morning feeling more empty than he had before. And that was saying something. Better that he remain a fantasy. There would be no chance for them if he were real. Those eyes. They still lingered vividly in his mind. So deep and dark and fill with…with magic or something.

Kouji got out of bed and pulled on some clothes. He gave Genrou five minutes for good measure, before he slipped into the hallway, walking softly. He headed down the stairs and paused at the bottom. Hearing no one approaching, he hurried out the main entrance, and he never slowed his pace until he was outside the cave he had been found in.

He felt oddly calm, disconnected. And he realized what he was looking for.

It was him.

He was remembering the feeling that had washed over him when he's held that man in his arms. That feeling of…of peace. His pain had vanished. "Suzaku," he whispered. "I wish I could get that feeling back again."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Hikou waited outside Taiitsukun's gilded hall. He paced nervously back and forth beneath glimmering violet spheres, and rehearsed again and again what he would say. He'd thought long and hard about this. He'd made his decision, but only Taiitsukun had the power to make his wish come true.

He'd given it time. Night after night, he'd waited for the yearning in his heart to fade away. But it had only grown stronger. He'd fallen in love with a mortal man. And he was about to compound it with this unprecedented request. But Kouji needed him. He couldn't shake this feeling that something was terribly wrong with the young bandit and he truly needed him.

The doors opened. He heard his name on a voice that sounded as old as time itself. "Hikou. You may approach me."

Swallowing hard, Hikou stiffened his spine and stepped through the doors. Taiitsukun floated above her ornate throne. One only needed to look at her and know that she was the controller of the world.

"You have a request?" Taiitsukun asked, and her voice was calm.

"Hai." Hikou licked his lips, searching for the lines he'd rehearsed.

"Don't be afraid. I already know what it is you wish."

"You do?"

She nodded, her robes moving magically with the motion. "You want to become mortal again. To be alive once more for the love of another."

Hikou blinked in surprise, but nodded. "Hai. Hai, that's what I want. It's the only way we can be together. And I have to be with him. I must."

"And if he doesn't feel the same?"

He felt his eyes widen. "I…I hadn't thought of that."

Taiitsukun smirked. "I don't believe you've done much thinking at all."

"Oh, but I have-"

"You've lost your life over another's love because she did not return your feelings. You almost destroyed several people's lives because of your bitterness from that rejection. For me to grant life again in this manner is rare and must be earned. What have you done to earn it?"

"My feelings are true," Hikou protested, stepping closer and thrusting his chin up to her in zeal. "I love him."

"Like you loved Kouran? You aren't sure. Would you have me take such drastic action only to learn later that you were wrong?"

Hikou bowed his head, and already phantom tears filled his eyes to brimming.

"I make this decision for you, Hikou. You have no choice but to remain here on this mountain until Chichiri joins you."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Hikou wasn't sure how long he had been standing there, on the very edge of Mount Taikyoku's borders. He was half out of his mind with grief. But at some point, a bubbly voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Why are you sad?"

His head came up fast to find the speaker. The cherub-looking Nyan Nyan's face was contorted into an expression of confusion as she hovered over his shoulder.

"Do you need help?" she intoned in her innocent voice. "I can help."

He laughed and shook his head. "You can't help me, little one. Go back and join your companions at your master's side."

"But I can help!" she protested. "I can make you human!"

That got his attention. "You? How can you do such a thing?"

"I have power too. I can help."

Hikou bit his lip, wondering if he should be ignoring this claim. And yet, he was curious. He knew that the Nyan Nyans were powerful indeed, had seen their skills and spells at work. But did they honestly have the power to make him mortal again? "How can you accomplish that?"

"I know a spell, a spell that'll help." She smiled, overjoyed that she could be of service to someone. "You'll be human for three days. But you can't tell him."

"Him?" Hikou raised an eyebrow.

"The one you love!" she squeaked happily. "He must fall in love with you for you to remain human. If he doesn't then you'll will die, never to see him again."

Hikou pursed his lips as he contemplated this. What was there for him to lose? His heart, of course. But Kouji had kissed him with a passion that had set him on fire. But then again he'd been delirious at the time. And probably thought that he had been dreaming as well.

Hikou drew in a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and faced the Nyan Nyan. "You're right, you can help me. I'll do it. I'll risk anything to be with Kouji."

The child-like servant clapped her hands in glee before closing her eyes in concentration. Hikou felt his whole being tingling, but he only thought of Kouji, of that soul-shattering kiss they'd shared, and the pain that haunted his green eyes.

A sharp wind came from out of nowhere and flung his body up into the air, and for a moment he felt it pounding into him, through him, yet he withstood it. He placed his hope in that this spell would work. He began to feel the air against his skin, stinging and cold, could hear it roaring in his ears, could feel his heart pounding with excitement as he understood what all this meant.

Then the blasting wind slowly died away. And when it was gone, he realized with a startled glance where the wind had taken him. Mount Leikaku. More specifically, over it. He hung suspended in the air for a moment before gravity took control over his new flesh and blood body and he plummeted towards the rocky ground.