Phantom Feelings

Chapter 3

By Sakata Ri Houjun

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Kouji sat on a rocky ledge, staring out at the vast mountains that had been his home for years, and trying to find some peace in his mind. But he couldn't. Night after night, he'd come out here, and pondered and puzzled over the man from his dream. He'd never been so moved by a dream before, and he sensed that it meant something. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what.

The full moon held no answers. The wind only whispered more questions. Why would he ever have a dream like that? He'd never be able to find another man like him. Not anywhere. And even assuming the impossible, he wouldn't give him a second glance. The way Kouji saw it, that kind of love came to those who earned it, people like Tasuki and Chichiri. He certainly hadn't. He didn't deserve the love and trust of another human being.

Absently scooping up a rough stone, Kouji stared out at the clear horizon. And just for a second, he thought he saw something there. A flash of white, a flag of dark hair sailing in the wind. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, but when he looked again, the apparition was gone. Vanished.

Damn. It was bad enough he'd dreamed of this fantasy man. If he started imagining him when he was awake as well, he'd really be worried. Nonetheless, he got to his feet, brushed off his bottom, and headed towards the path that would take him back to the stronghold.

Kouji went still at the voice that seemed to come from nowhere. From the darkness, or the valley, oror his own imagination. It was all but drowned out by the sound of something crashing into water.

Then there was a coughing, sputtering noise. Damn little chibi, trying to kill me before I get the chance to enjoy this!

Kouji battled the chill that raced down his spine as he headed to where he knew the sounds must be coming from. He told himself it was not the same voice he heard in his dream and that when he got there he would not see the same beautiful man.

His hair was wet, and dripping straggles clung to his face. It looked nearly black; though the bandit knew that could be a trick of all the water it held. Okay, so his resemblance to his dream lover might not be complete. Might not even all that strong. It had been awfully dark in that dream, after all. He quickly noted that he could not see through this man and sighed in relief. Well, then, maybe he hadn't totally lost his mind yet.

The man slogged out of the lake, wringing bunches of his white tunic as he went. Coming right toward him, though he hadn't seen Kouji yet. I'll break that face of hers when I see her again. I'll take her short arms and tie them up in knots, and then-" His dark eyes found deep green then and he stopped in his tirade.

Even in the moonlight, Kouji knew they were dark. Deep as any eyes he'd even seen. He almost fell into them as he stood there, staring at him. And when he finally found his voice, he couldn't think of a thing to say. What could he say? Hi. Remember me? We were making out the other night, right after you caught me in midair. Only you were transparent then.

He cleared his throat. Whose arms are you going to tie in knots?

The man blinked, his eyes widening a bit farther. The wretched littlegirl who dumped me in this lake.

What girl? Kouji sent a pointed glance beyond him, but saw no one.

You won't find here, he answered scowling. But Suzaku help her should I.

You aren't a pedophile or a slave trader? Kouji crossed his arms as he stared hard at the man he kept insisting was a stranger to him.

The man shook his head. That girl merely claimed she could help me and then had the gall to dump me here like that. He sighed as he smiled at Kouji. But I am grateful that she at least got me here. He came closer to the bandit, gathering up another section of his tunic, twisting it mercilessly in his hands.

He stopped when he stood very close to him. Kouji couldn't stop himself from reaching out, and brushing a few wet strands of hair away that clung to his forehead. Daijobou desu ka?

He only gazed back at him and nodded.

Kouji stared back, blown away by the urge that overwhelmed him. The urge to pull him right into his arms and begin again where they'd left off the other night. Onlythat had been a dream. Hadn't it?

Do I know you? You seem so

For the first time the man's gaze fell away. I only just arrived in these mountains this evening.

Kouji's shoulders slumped. Then I couldn't have met you before, could I?

I don't suppose so.

He had to touch him. Didn't matter that he was a stranger and had nothing to do with his dream. He had no choice in the matter. The bandit's hand clasped his, in what he hoped seemed like a friendly shake. I'm Kouji.

He lifted those dark eyes again and even smiled a little. I'm called Hikou.

He said softly, and saying his name was almost like kissing him again. The way the syllables caressed his tongue as they passed.

He shook himself, and added, If you'll tell me where you're staying I'll show you the way back.

Hikou bit his lower lip. I'm not sure where I'll be staying. Coming up here was a spur of the moment decision.

Impulsive, aren't you?

His grin was quick and stunning. Hai, so I've been told.

It doesn't matter. Kouji took his shoulder. Yes, it was just an excuse to touch him again. There's a place up the path a ways. It's where I live. Come home with me. We'll get you dried out, and then we'll find you a place to stay in the morning.

You don't want me to stay with you longer than overnight? Hikou smirked as Kouji blushed.

You wouldn't like it up there for too long. It's way too crowded and

A haven for unscrupulous bandits, such as yourself?

Kouji's head snapped up as his eyes narrowed. How did you know?

Hikou shrugged. Everyone knows about the Mount Leikaku bandits. This is Mount Leikaku, is it not? Kouji nodded. And you are a bandit, are you not? Again, Kouji nodded.

But most people tend to steer clear of this place because of it, he pointed out. Bandits are a shitty bunch who can't be trusted.

Hikou's hands fluttered lightly up to the younger man's shoulders, deep black meeting rich green. But you aren't like that and I trust you. Kudasai, Kouji. I won't impose for long, I promise. Three days are all I need.

His shaggy brows drew together as he studied his face. What happens in three days?

I won't know until they've passed, he told him. But whatever happens, I won't require your hospitality beyond that.

Kouji shook his head, still baffled. Gods, was he running from something? Some one? Was he a criminal or a victim?

Since his hands had taken the liberty of resting on his shoulders, he didn't think he was stepping out of line when his lowered to clasp the slender waist. Are you in some kind of trouble, Hikou?

I might be, Kouji. And you're the only one who might be able to help me.

Damn. He was trouble with a capital T. And the last thing he wanted to do was let this man waltz into his life for three days and then disappear again. Vanish into the air as quickly as he had appeared from it. There was an ominous feeling writhing around in the pit of his stomach, telling him to run for his life.

But despite that and the circumstances, holding Hikou this way felt incredible.