Hi guys! How are you doing? We are back! Thanks for all the reviews! We appreciate this and it motivates us more to write! Sorry for a long time between updates, school, everyday life… You know;)
UPSTEAD IS OFFICIALLY MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VOISTEAD IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!
References: quote from the Brazilian television series "Tapas e Beijos" (literal translation: slaps and kisses): "I'm getting depressed, okay? Excuse me, I'm at the beginning of the process."
Warnings: homophobia, force vomit, emotional/psychological violence.
Parts in italic are reading or audio.
So here we are with chapter 9! Enjoy it!
Previous on chapter 8…
Will has yet to return to his old self, but he has been able to go back to work. Last week had been better, he even managed to smile at Maggie, glancing at the ED's door each second, hoping to see Jay's face in the waiting room. Unfortunately, the universe is against him. Maggie hands him a small package, shipped from Las Vegas, addressed to his name and the hospital's address, without a return address. Intrigued, he opens it and sees the USB. He connects it to a computer and freezes it in place.
He gets up from his chair in front of the computer in the doctor's room, shouts at Maggy to call Hailey or Voight as soon as possible, demanding their presence at Gaffney urgently, and locks the door. He doesn't want to be interrupted. He doesn't want to watch water over it's about to start at the USB, fear palpable in the air surrounding. He watches frozen Jay and Josh. He is slightly relieved to see Jay. He seems better than the day he was released, he can walk by himself, he gains weight, and isn't so pale but still has color to recover. They walk to the altar inside a remote small building, he guesses a small remote church or a religious place. Ok to call it an altar is a euphemism, appropriate is a mini-stage of school children's plays but that's isn't the point. When they arrived at their proper place, they looked at each other one in front of the other, gave their hands together, and began to take their vows.
"I, Jay Halstead, receive you, as my legitimate husband, I promise to be faithful, to love and respect you, in joy and sadness, in health and illness, in wealth and poverty, all the days of our lives, until death does us part." He cries hearing Jay's firm vows. No words are lost, the video has high-quality audio. Jay's determined sweet powerful voice is back. Jay is sober. Jay is clean. He isn't being forced by Josh as he says. He isn't drugged anymore, standing up by himself and normal pupils are his evidence for his deduction. He is convinced and conscious that he truly and legitimately loves the sadistic rapist man holding his hand; if circumstances and backstory were different, he could swear that their love is legitimate and true and he would be glad for the two random men to get their shit together and starting a new romantic chapter of their lives.
"I, Josh Delacroix, receive you, as my legitimate husband, I promise to be faithful, to love and respect you, in joy and sadness, in health and illness, in wealth and poverty, all the days of our lives, until death does us part." He punches the table while watching and listening to Delacroix. He never thought he could hate a man so much before Josh Delacroix appeared unwantedly in his and Jay's life. They shared a proud smile and kissed meanly. After a minute or two, they stopped the kiss, and before they leave the scene and the camera turns off, Josh blinks provocatively. Josh recorded, sent, and knew Will would watch.
"Holy crap!" Will screams his lungs out and punches the table again, this time hurting his knuckles for the impact as tears streams uncontrollably down his face. Everyone in the ER looks at him, a mixture of scared and tolerance from the doctors who knew the situation and the shock and indignation of patients and paramedics who didn't have a clue of the hell he was passed through months ago with his little brother. He walks back at the door and unlocks, facing a tense atmosphere. "I'm sorry...I have been through a difficult time lately"
"We comprehend, Doctor Halstead." Maggie intervenes. "The show is over, everyone comes back working." She screams to the whole department who instantaneously comes back functioning. She walks over to the man leaning his back against the wall with his eyes closed, fighting back tears. "Doctor, I called Upton and Voight and they are coming as fast as they can. While they don't come, why don't you stay in your room to calm down."
"I can work, Maggie…"
"No, you can't. I don't know exactly what you had seen but it might have something related to Jay, right?" Nod. "I imagined. It's better at least until they arrive…"
"Will?" Hailey screams in the corridor, outpacing people with Voight right behind. "What happened?"
"Follow me." He takes the pair inside the doctor's office and plays the video again. He couldn't watch the tape so he stood back to the computer the whole time until he senses Voight touching his shoulder, indirectly telling him it's safe to turn around. Before they could reply, he already knew what they would ask and get ahead. "Go ahead, there's no need to ask if you can pick the USB, for God's love, please, take this out of my sight."
"Doesn't need to be more clear." Hank removes the device from the computer and signals Hailey to withdraw. "See you soon, Will." He says and they leave, speechless, leaving behind a depressed and broken old brother for his poor manipulated little brother.
"Sarge! Hailey!" Burgess exclaims. "Why did Will call?" The leader sighs and wonders how much information he can provide to his subordinate.
"A video was sent to Will this morning by Josh." He says. "It's his and Jay's marriage."
"Lunatic son of a bitch!" Adam swears.
"Jay seems physically better, however, mentally...well...Josh manipulates him somehow to believe in their love." Hailey says. "He can walk by himself, isn't drugged anymore, and gains weight. It's an improvement if we can commemorate it."
"Where are the photos, videos, and diary found in his house?" Simultaneously, everyone points to the intact pile inside an evidence's white box above Jay's table. "Except for me, I don't want to see anyone else looking at those. Understood?" In any other situation, the reaction would be chaotic or funny, instead, it is a relief like a continent was put away from the carry on their shoulders and not be permitted by their boss to analyze the images and videos and book but a bit of empathy for the man who is kind of sacrificing his sanity. "A word from Forensics has come?"
"Uhm...yeah…about the prints and DNA found in 'Will's room', they are from Josh and Will. Nothing of Jay was found there." Antonio reads the first report of three from the forensics techniques. "The second room now. Like we guessed, the semen belongs to both males. The objects on the drawers had Jay's cells, on the syringes had his blood as well, and Josh's prints everywhere. Of the cellar, the three males were there. Only Josh's was in that hidden room." He, frustrated, leaves the papers on his table, exhaustion playing pranks in everyone's capacity to investigate.
"I, Burgess, and Kevin are waiting for the cameras to upload to see if they got caught. He is cautious now that he knows he is discovered and we are on his track." Alvin says from his desk, the trio rubbing their eyes before seeing hours of street cameras.
"I found Josh's parents. Mother is Kiara Delacroix, 56, house owner. Father is Liam Delacroix, 60, owner of an airline mechanics company. They lived in Chicago. 18, Rebhorn street." Adam says.
"Adam and Hailey, go talk to them about places they may know Josh would want to hide. Antonio, assist them with the cameras and I suggest coffee. I'm seeing Josh's stuff." They all nodded and started doing their obligation. About me, I'm getting depressed. Excuse me, I'm at the beginning of the process. He picks the box and heads inside his office, closing and locking the door behind him.
He breathes deeply. He takes a sip of coffee. He opts for seeing the two videos for last, browsing details; he prioritizes the photos, without knowledge in the background, just a brief preview. He doesn't have to count to acknowledge that has, at least, 1000 images. 1000 images of his detective doing his daily activities or work. The former Ranger hasn't noticed he was being followed over a year and a half, has he? Has he noticed and his mania for putting everyone on priority's top list made him not tell because to put himself in front of everyone like to take a shot, the kid does it with his eyes closed, however, to take care of himself and prioritize himself once in his life, it's an impossible mission, and he kept all to himself? This was just the photographs suspended. In photograph books, have more photos of him. More disturbing and countless photos of his detective, already captive. Jay passed out on a bed. Jay tied up on a bed. Jay struggles against restraint. A desperate Jay looks at the camera while Josh takes photos of him. Jay naked in the shower. Jay naked on the bed. A sequence of photos with Josh raping Jay. His anger and sadness grow with each picture. A vulnerable Jay. A state unmatched to his fearless detective. To his fearless son.
After analyzing each of them cautiously and putting back his vomit down to the organ it belongs to, he opens the diary. The writings started one year and nine months ago, the night of a hostage situation in a bank where Josh was one of the hostages. He opens his drawer, looking for his report of the case in question. Everything fitted. From how the rob started to how the criminals were killed. Who was designed to attend the case? His unit. Who was designed by him to negotiate with the robbers? Jay.
He is tall but not taller than me, wears black boots just like a soldier, tight blue jeans, and a gray shirt allowing the muscles of his legs and arms to appear really defined as well as his abdomen. A cut brown hair, red lips and green eyes. The type of eyes someone could lose but find himself at the same time. I found HIM. The cop who will save me from this mess. The man who will save me from his lonely sad world and bring company happiness to it. The man who will be at home at night to make that thing. The man who will be my lover. The man who will be adopting a kid with me and making my dream family come true. I had found someone.
"What a maniac!" This man has been obsessed with Jay for a long time. As the pages go, the plans become more realistic and substantial. He had confronted his family about his homosexuality. They, fanatically conservative as hell, deserted him. He quitted job. He had never felt better, now free to haunt and stalk Jay while starting his autonomous professional photographer's career. Description of how their illusional relationship would proceed. House's illusional description. New family illusion description. Sex illusional description. A jealous description towards someone who appears to be his boyfriend like the redhead is, gently punching each other, making each other laugh from something really stupid, sharing tight hugs. William Halstead. That's why the hate above the doctor, he never saw them as brothers, he saw them as partners. The report becomes hotter since the abduction, where the illusion was replaced by reality and all the plans were put in action and, later, described.
He can't contain the contents on his stomach and throws up sobbing as the reports finish one day before the invasion. He closes the curtains to the bullpen where his family is watching and rewatching security cameras in search of both, sitting on the couch sobbing. And thinking that he had started underestimating Jay at the moment he was late. He can start this whole 'what if…?' roller coaster but it's isn't helpful for Jay. After a time of recovering from his breakdown, he sits again on his chair and starts to analyze details. Jay needs them.
"I'm in love with him," Hailey confesses as Adam parks his car on the street in front of Josh's parent's house. She smiles shyly at him with tears blinking her blue eyes and continues "My father used to beat us: my mother, me, my brothers. Mostly my mother because she would stand up against him to protect us from his abuse. It was hell growing up there. As soon as I had the chance, I moved from there. My brothers too. My mom is still with him though. She doesn't want a divorce." She looks quickly at him and he, speechless, allows her to proceed with her outburst. "I never believed in love, love wasn't meant to me, and never thought I'd fall in love with a man because the first has hurt me badly and all the boys I stayed with, once I opened up, walked away, declaring I was way too much traumatic for them. Then Jay came...since I laid my eyes on him on that robbery-homicide crime scene my feelings for him started...then Erin walked out, the little girl was shot accidentally, Luis died and he was involved with Camille...I hid my feelings while learning he is as messy as me...I don't know the feeling is reciprocated."
"The feeling is mutual. Burgess is right about your evidence." Adam interrupts her. She looks at him interrogatively. "I heard you and Burgess' conversation in the break room." She arches her eyebrows in understanding. "I'm sorry to hear about your past. Everyone has a reason to become a cop; that's yours. It's comprehensive. I have mine. Jay has his. It's impressive we are almost the same age and he has been through a lot of terrible experiences as a soldier and as a cop. While I was enjoying the end of college and the beginning of my adult years in a nightclub surrounded by gorgeous girls, Jay was a soldier and on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean serving the United States. When I finally decided to adjust my life to be a cop, Jay had passed through a rough phase dealing with his demons and PTSD and was in the Police. He never told us about his experiences and even the traumas we testimony he shuts himself down. He is broken as well. He is a human being. You have your demons, so does he. And he doesn't judge, he would stay with you no matter what you have passed or done, from injuries to murder." He turns off the car. "Let's get inside and talk to the parents of this maniac who has our boy." Hailey nods, swallowing tears. They head to the front door of the kidnapper's parent's house, and the male officer knocks on the door. A few seconds later, an old tall man, coincidentally to an older future Josh of how similar the apparent - it must be his father, attended the door. The old man seems annoyed and mad about the couple's interruption.
"Mr. Delacroix, I'm Officer Adam Ruzek and this is my partner Detective Hailey Upton from Police. Can we talk to you and your wife?"
"Kia, the police is here!" Suspiciously and resentfully, he rolls his eyes at the request and lets them come in. A few minutes later, a short brown-eyed and haired woman comes from the kitchen, offering a cup of coffee or tea to both, the authorities appreciated but denied it.
"We came here to ask for your son, Josh. He committed a crime and we are on his track. Do you know someplace where he might be hiding?"
"What crime did he commit?"
"We can't say information about a current case…" Adam starts, feeling the air tense, the walls seemed to crush them, gravity more activated in the living room.
"He kidnapped and...raped our partner." Hailey mumbles, if letting out was the key to opening their mouths, she is willing to give for her partner's rescue.
"The fagot entered in trouble with the police! Well deserved. I don't know where he is and I don't care a shit about him, too. Hope he dies and goes straights to hell. Son of mine can't be gay!" The man shouts out and runs upstairs, shouting homophobic curses all along the way.
"We are a conservative and traditional family." The woman said with tears rolling down her face. "I'm sorry but I, Liam, and our family didn't create Josh to kiss or make out with the same gender. It's disrespectful. Our family doesn't accept him anymore. We cut boundaries for good and no one wants reconciliation. Nearly twenty-one months ago after he was a hostage in a robbery and he fell in love with the cop who saved him. He said the man's name is Jay Halstead, he is a detective or a high similar rank and name. Is him who he kidnapped and raped?" The woman asks. Nod. The woman sits on the sofa. "Since then, our family never contacted him again, at least as far as I know. I don't know where he might be hiding and your colleague but, even ashamed of who he is, he is still my son, so please, save both of them! Could I ask you to leave now?" She says, naturally, stoically, and sincerely while guiding them to the entrance and exit door.
"Oh yes, we are leaving. How toxic this house makes me nauseous, even mine was better!" Hailey retorts in the same coin, as sincerely as the old woman, and goes to the car, starting the machine with the other cop heading back to the district. What a waste of time and sanity!
One month later the marriage. Three months later the abduction
You own Josh.
"I own him."
You need Josh.
"I need Josh."
You want Josh.
"I want Josh."
You want to kiss him.
"I want to kiss him."
You want to touch him.
"I want to touch him."
You want to sit on his cock.
"I want to sit on his cock."
You want to ride him.
"I want to ride him."
You want Josh to do the same.
"I want Josh to do the same."
He loves you.
"He loves me."
You love Josh.
"I love him."
Jay wakes up repeating the romantic and sexual voices on his mind - or Josh's recorded voice played on the minor speakers hidden around the room - and stares at the silver ring on his left hand's ring finger. Below, the silver ring on his husband's left-hand ring finger. Husband. It's been a month since the marriage. It's been a month since the best day of his life. It's been a month since he has been privileged to wake up wrapped tight in his arms, his hands on his waist, their legs intertwined behind blankets, his bare back touching his bare chest, their breath and their heartbeat in synchrony. It's been a month since his world became better, brightened, delighted and hot. A groan behind his left ear indicates Josh is starting to come.
"Morning, love!" He murmurs gravely. The man chuckles and kisses his cheek as he allows the younger to turn around in his hug to face him.
"Morning!"
"You know what they are today, right?" He asks, playfully.
"No." He says seriously. The answer shocks and confuses him, he must have expressed his shock and confusion well when the man laughs. "Of course I know what day is today, dumb. It's our first month of marriage. You should see your face. How could I forget the day I got married?" They laugh and kiss. "Do you want to do something special? I have to work but we can plan something for when I come back." Jay's thought comes up.
"I have a wish." In reality, he has two: one is simple and can be done easily, the second he is kinda afraid to say, afraid of his reaction.
"So say."
"Is two." The man nods, encouraging him to go ahead. "I want to visit our city and work outside. I'm feeling useless and tedious staying here all day every day doing absolutely nothing while you work. I want a social and professional life!"
"No way." Josh always knew this day would arrive: Jay would want to help economically and be social. He can't say 'look, I kidnapped you, raped you, we escaped from the police; if you get out and someone recognizes you as the missing cop, I'm screwed up.' It isn't something you say if you had kidnapped an individual, right? "It's too soon from the accident. You still have to recover from your injuries and the doctor hasn't cleaned you yet. It's a risk. 'It's a risk you being recognized and taken away from me!'
"Ok." He seems disappointed. "Sorry for requesting."
"Nothing to be sorry for. When times come, we'll conversate again about it, ok?" He nods. "That's one request. What's the second?"
"Fuck me."
"Your wish is an order, darling!" He climbs up on top of him and spreads his legs, smiling the widest because the man has begged for the act. He kneels in the bed between his legs, puts his legs above his shoulders, and holds firmly his waist, probably imprinting hand marks, giving total access to his entrance. He enters him softly, giving time to Jay moan and adjusting himself around the penetration without damage, once authorized, he thrusts in and out, reaching the boy's prostate in a single movement.
"Josh, Oh my God!" Jay arches his back with fulfilled sensation from the inferior part, pleasure shivering and melting his body. His hand squeezes the mattress below while the thrusts' intensity increases near the orgasm. Simultaneously, both cry out and moan each other's name when Josh cums insures him and, exhausted, lies down with his husband. "This was incredible. Thank you."
"Thank you. Unfortunately, I have to go to work. Are you going to be just fine alone?"
"Of course. See you in the night." He gets up from the man after delivering a kiss to his lover's lips and goes to dress for the day. Jay stays lying there for a while to regain breath and gets up to stay another tedious day at home alone.
Two months after the marriage. Four months since the abduction.
Jay
"Hi, honey. Is breakfast ready?" Jay nods at Josh's question, the mouth busy chewing his waffles. The dressed workman devours it while checking at each second his clock. "Remember to drink this juice I prepared as we talked yesterday, it is for your health, okay?" Another nod, reminding how firmly he refused to continue with the awkward and memory-taking drink, and Josh saying he was being paranoid, things of his head. "Sorry for not being helpful this morning but I'm extremely late for work. I will be back in the middle of the afternoon. Bye. Love you!" He kisses him on the mouth and runs to the door, opening and shutting forcefully.
"Bye, love you too!" He says. "Another tedious day alone!" He whispers even knowing that isn't a mode his husband is hearing. He takes a sip of the purple liquid, to please his husband, and immediately feels dizzy. He sits on the chair taking charge of his unstable breath. After a while, he gets up to...to do what? "Holy shit! Not again!" He doesn't know it just doesn't pass for an impression but every time he drinks, from the most simple cup of water to the most sophisticated glass of wine, his memories fade away and he collapses. He feels useless, a deception. He doesn't want to feel this anymore. He is tired of being sick. He runs awkwardly to the bedroom and kneels next to the toilet, forcing the vomit. He knows it's horrible behavior, an unhealthy attitude that can cost him too much, harming himself if he dehydrates but he can't take it anymore. He swears he will never drink anything his husband made for him. "Want to know? Tired." He gets up shakily and heads to the kitchen again, draining the liquid down the drain, a sigh of relief and happiness floods his body. He has to clean the house completely, it's part of his house-husband routine: washing, drying, and storing the dishes, vacuuming the house from the bottom to the top, cooking, depending on the use and the day, treating a room in particular with more affection, taking a shower, etc. Josh will never know what he had done and the brown dirty mess that inundated the internal and external toilet and the floor surrounding the bathroom. Besides, he's not being overseen.
Josh
A mere 30 minutes of free time of the junior sports event he is attending is all he has to oversee how Jay is doing in the house. He had installed, as well as speakers, cameras with microphones, authorizing him to see and hear Jay. The speakers proceed with the hypnosis overnight and the cameras keep an eye on him even though he fully counts on his four-month husband. He composes a smaller version of the monitoring system in the former house in front of him. Once ready, he anticipates the recording of when he left the house two hours ago.
He watches Jay sitting on the kitchen's chair and hears his lovely reply as well as his stubborn protest. He takes a sip of the purple grape liquid and struggles to return to his seat, the medication makes him unsteady. After his breath's stabilization, he gets up, confused, about what to do next. Holy shit! Not again! After a time stuck in place, he runs awkwardly out of the kitchen. He changes in his remote control the screen in his track to the bathroom, kneeling next to the toilet and vomiting his gut out. He looks around at the toilet and the floor and all the mess inundated it for a time. Want to know? Tired. Then, he gets up shakily and returns to where everything begins, draining the liquid down the drain, a sigh of relief and happiness comes from his mouth.
"Son of a bitch!" He curses quietly. He stays skeptical and mad over the scene. How could he do it? Not only that he can dehydrate and harm himself if he picks the habit as routine but he is also disobeying a direct order. He must have discovered or had the impression because of their argument when he said those drinks are awkward and memory-taking, and he said he was being paranoid, things of his head. Behind the calmly talk with his husband, a desperate feeling the hot could have remembered some aspect of his old freedom life and what he has to do to avoid a problem like this ahead were passing like a bullet train. He should have pretended it would save all this stress. Obviously, he thinks he hasn't been seen so he does whatever he wants and he can't arrive later, incriminating him to him not suspect. Moreover, the man was a cop, his instincts surely still exist.
He accelerates the video as his husband prepares the chemicals products to wash the bathroom and does it. He presses another button to watch the live camera. He passes the cameras until he finds him upstairs, passing the vacuum cleaner on the corridor directed to their bedroom, humming an unidentified song, and dancing slightly. Although this is magical gorgeous, he is still mad. Truly mad. Disappointed. He switches the cameras to the tragedy's resident bathroom and is unimpeachably clean, like new.
"He isn't stupid. Clean everything so I can't suspect anything when I arrive." He murmurs between sips of water. His ring bells. Time to come back to work. He turns off his equipment, verifies if it is turned off - avoids surprises or suspects unnecessary - stores pick his camera and the photographer goes back to more sessions of photos.
Three hours later
His job is done. Time to come back home. Time to be with Jay, his husband. Time to celebrate their two months as an officially married couple. While driving, he thinks in many ways how he could introduce the topic watched without suspicion of the surveillance. When he realized the reality, he was parked in his garage. He takes out his security belt and goes inside.
"Honey, I'm home." He says while depositing his briefcase on the sofa and smelling a tasty meal coming from the kitchen. No sign of Jay. "Where are you?" He climbs up the stairs and hears the shower's sound inside their suite. He enters the bedroom to find clothes for him to take a shower himself when the shower is turned off, the man stepping outside the room a few minutes later, wrapped in a towel around his waist, chest naked, and noticing the presence of the other man.
"Hi, I didn't hear you arrive. How was work?" Jay asked, trying to hide a note of sadness in his voice. He feels so tired of not doing anything but cleaning their home.
"Good. How was it here?"
"Good too." He puts on boxers, shorts and a blouse. "I'm gonna finish the food while you shower. See you." He kisses his cheek, touches his shoulder, and goes downstairs calmly. He didn't expect the detective would say a word about the vomiting but, before a shower to take off the day, this conversation isn't necessary; while eating it will be. He takes a quick shower, dresses, returns downstairs, and, after noticing Jay's non-presence, checks the damaged bathroom. It was a damaged bathroom indeed because there isn't any dirt like he previously checked on the video. He rolls his eyes and is about to search for him just to find him in the door frame, facially stoic but bodily tense, like a frightened little boy whose parents have just discovered a screw. "What's up?"
"Are you inhaling something strange? Similar to an acid. I would guess it was vomit, perhaps, right?" Jay's face turns unimaginable pale, whiter than the North Pole's snow.
"No…I'm not smelling vomit here... I cleaned everywhere...there isn't a way...what are you suggesting, that I had thrown up?...why would I do it? Why are you accusing me?" His voice is a junction between speechlessness and suspicion and concern if he had just been caught in the act and anger.
"I'm not accusing you or suggesting you had thrown up but you're a human being who can get sick in normal conditions someday, it isn't prohibited or a crime. Moreover, you are in recovery from the accident and had a concussion, which is normal. I can be worried about you, excuse me!" He's shouting by the end. Jay's eyes widen in fear and tears form and he recoils with his hands raised in surrender. "I'm sorry. I exaggerated." He lowers his voice, grabs the terrified man's hand, and hugs him.
"Sorry...sorry...sorry" he repeats like a mantra.
"Nothing to be sorry for. We should eat. I'm starving!"
"Yeah, I hope you will like it. I made Lasagna Bolognese! Later, can we have our particular fun?"
"Sure." They run holding hands to the kitchen to eat and later have their consumption.
That's it for chapter 9! What are your opinions on this chapter? See you next time! Bye!