Chapter 2:
He found her in the galley on Talyn, absent-mindedly chewing food cubes. She looked far better now she was out of the medilab and allowed to move around. She was still using the makeshift crutch that Jool had given her, but she was coping. She was well, but looked tired and he was worried about her.
They'd left Moya the weeken before and had set off in search of a place where Talyn's starburst fin could be repaired. Whether it was the isolation that bothered her, the unaccustomed space travel or something more serious, he just didn't know.
"Are you alright?" he asked as he approached her.
"Fine," Carma replied and volunteered nothing more. He was beginning to worry about this response. It was her standard answer to any question about her well-being, even when it was so obviously not true.
"Are you having difficulty sleeping?" he asked, trying again.
"I'm fine."
"Are you experiencing any ill-effects from your treatment?"
"I'm *fine*."
"Then what are you doing here in the middle of the sleep cycle?" Crais asked.
"What are *you*?" Carma shot back.
"I am concerned about you," Crais replied simply.
"I think you're taking this back-up thing too far," Carma said. "I'm fine. There's nothing wrong."
Crais met her eyes. "I do not believe you."
"How about you don't bother me and I don't bother you?" Carma countered. "There's about a million things on your mind that you don't tell me about."
"Perhaps I am better able to cope with them alone than you are."
"That's a load of dren," Carma said. "You're as messed up as I am, you've got enough issues to keep a team of therapists busy for cycles and the reason you don't talk about them is because you won't let yourself be vulnerable to anyone. That's not strength, that's fear and one day it's going to tear you apart. So forgive me if I do the same, I'm too far gone for it to matter."
Crais stared back at her for a few microts. "I will tell you something," he said. "When I decided to use Talyn to destroy the command carrier, I intended it as a hero's death for Talyn and a way to prevent wormhole technology falling into the hands of the Peacekeepers. However, when I stood in Talyn's command, I found myself also thinking of it as an honourable ending to a life that had grown increasingly difficult. I knew that I was going to my death and I felt at peace for the first time in my life. And then I woke up and found that I must carry on when I thought that my time was over."
Carma wasn't looking at him anymore.
"You believed that you would die when you were no longer supplied with Deuterol. You risked your life to save Talyn because you were willing to die, not for a cause but to escape a difficult life. Once Talyn was safe and the operation to restore my memory was complete you no longer had anything to attend to. You went to your death at peace...and then you, also, woke up and found that you had to live."
Carma looked back at him. "As I said, you're as frelled up as I am."
"And we will both survive. Your life is obviously destined to continue, as mine is."
"The practical ex-Peacekeeper believes in destiny?" Carma said, eyebrows arching.
"Losing my memory has made me see my past in a different light. Considering everything that has happened to me in the last few cycles...I do believe in destiny."
"You saved my life when I was supposed to die."
"And you did the same for me."
"So destiny has stuck us together?"
"It seems so."
"Oh great," Carma said. "Because we'll be so good for each other. We both have the same faults."
"And we both only recognise them as faults in the other...and not in ourselves."
Carma half-smiled. "Will you promise not to let me die?" she said.
"Yes," Crais replied.
Carma hesitated. "Even if I ask you to?"
"Especially then."
Carma looked back at him. "Then I'll do the same for you."
***
"What's happening?" Carma asked as she half staggered into command. "It's too early for this."
"The sleep cycle ended over two arns ago," Crais replied, looking perfectly awake.
Carma glared at him. "My sleep cycle lasts as long as I'm asleep!" she growled.
Crais ignored the look she was giving him. "Talyn has located a planet that may possibly have the facilities to repair his starburst fin. We will arrive in one arn." He looked her up and down. "I suggest you dress before then."
Carma looked down at the sheet that she had wrapped around her. "Just because you look like you have a personal dresser does not mean that I have to look like a Peacekeeper uniform model at this hour in the morning. If I'm going to stay on this ship I have to have at least a couple of rules going my way, and one of them is this. If I want to come to command wearing nothing but a sheet, I will come to command wearing nothing but a sheet!"
Crais bit his tongue to keep from enquiring if she really was wearing nothing else. Instead he gave her his patented firm, no-nonsense look.
"Fine," Carma said grumpily. "I'll go change. Give me half an arn."
***
Carma returned, just under an arn later, looking rather more together in a pair of leather trousers that she'd borrowed from Aeryn. They were too tight and too long, but they were better than the skirt she'd been wearing before. As Crais had pointed out, carers and renegades had rather different dress codes.
"First stop has to be a clothing store," Carma said, looking uncomfortable. "It was great of Aeryn to lend me these but, let's face it, I'm not her."
'No,' Crais thought, 'you're not'. For the first time that didn't sound like a insult.
"I have made contact with the planet's authorities. They have the facilities and expertise that Talyn requires but I sense that they are slightly concerned," Crais said out loud. "However, they have agreed to meet with us. Hopefully we can convince them."
"With an unstable gunship in orbit around their planet and your people skills, how could we fail?" Carma asked innocently.
"I thought perhaps that I would take care of the technical details and allow you to conduct the negotiation," Crais responded, poker-faced.
"Great," Carma said, looking slightly queasy, "even better."
"I am certain that your 'people skills' are sufficient."
"Yeah, sure. I'm just a little...nervous. Nothing serious, just because I've never been off world in my life until now and I know nothing about these people. Nothing to worry about."
"You will be fine," Crais said.
Carma gave a weak smile in return. "I hope you're right."
***
"Welcome to our court." The man behind the desk greeted them. "I am Zraven Tyrel, the sovereign of this planet. May I present my mate, Kalveni Haren and my son, Zraven Erane."
They looked approximately Sebacean, Crais thought to himself, except for the curious markings across their foreheads and the fact that they didn't seem to have any visible ears. They were certainly of a species that he had never met before.
"I am Raylai Carma," Carma said, she and Crais having agreed that she should take the lead in the negotiations, "and this is Bialar Crais. Or Crais Bialar in your tradition."
The man half-smiled. "My communications director informs me that you are requesting help to repair your ship?"
"That is correct, sir," Carma said. "Our ship is a hybrid leviathan. His left starburst fin was lost in an accident and it must be replaced."
"A hybrid? What is his other half?"
"Peacekeeper," Carma answered, knowing that concealment was impossible, "but we are in no way associated with them and the ship has never served them."
"Does he have weapons?"
"He does, but they are all disabled. We simply wish to allow him to starburst in order to defend himself without weapons," Carma said. "We would be quite willing to allow someone on board to verify this."
Tyrel nodded. "One of my people will return with you before I will grant your request."
"Naturally we will provide you with appropriate compensation," Crais added, they had been given a large amount by Moya's crew since it was to repair Talyn.
"I will send my chief technician back to your ship today to inspect it. If he confirms your story, we can begin repairs tomorrow. In the meantime you are welcome to attend the court. We are currently in the midst of celebrations."
"Really, why?" Carma asked curiously.
"My son will soon undergo his bonding ceremony with his chosen mate," Tyrel replied proudly.
"Congratulations," Carma said warmly. "I'm sure she's a wonderful girl."
"I have not selected my bride yet," Erane answered, in a bored voice.
Carma looked taken aback. "You're about to be bonded and you don't know who too?" she asked.
"In our culture," Tyrel explained, "males and females are strictly segregated until they reach the age of bonding. Then they are permitted to meet each other in order to select their future mate. There will be a court ball every night this weeken. Erane will select his mate one weeken from now at the final ball and they will be married two solar days after that. All the preparations are complete now except for the choice of bride. I assume that they do not do this in the culture that you both come from?"
"Not in mine," Carma said. "We come from different cultures. In mine you select your mate at any time you like, and in Crais' you don't have one at all."
"None?" Tyrel looked surprised. "That must be a very limited existence."
"I was conscripted into the Peacekeepers when I was young," Crais explained, "but I have now left them. The culture I came from before that was much like Carma's, from what I remember."
"So you are different species?" Tyrel asked. "It is most unusual to find couples who manage to sustain mixed relationships."
"We're not a couple," Carma said.
"I apologise," Tyrel said. "I assumed since you were travelling together you must be bonded."
"In both our cultures it is considered quite acceptable for males and females to mix freely as they wish without being bonded," Carma explained. "It must seem very strange to you."
"Sounds far more sensible than our way," Erane muttered.
"Erane!" Haren said sharply.
"You must excuse my son," Tyrel said. "He is finding the prospect of selecting a bride...daunting."
"That's perfectly understandable," Carma said. "It is a very important decision."
"I am confident that once at the ball he will be able to make a good choice," Tyrel replied.
"I'm sure he will," Carma agreed.
"Now, I suggest that you both return to your ship. My chief technician will meet you at the landing pad and inspect your ship. If his report is satisfactory, I hope you will be our guests at the ball tonight and we will begin the examination of your ship tomorrow."
"Thank you, we'd be delighted," Carma said, before Crais could open his mouth.
"I am sure we can provide you with more...formal clothes for this evening."
"That would be wonderful," Carma answered, again before Crais could respond. "I don't suppose that you know of a clothing store in the local area? As you can probably see, I need to purchase some more suitable clothing."
"I am sure that you can be directed to one," Tyrel answered. "I hope that we will see you tonight."
"You will," Carma said cheerfully, not entirely unaware of how much Crais hated her at that moment.
***
"I do not wish to go to a ball," Crais said definitely.
"It'll be fun," Carma said, then saw his face, "well, for me anyway."
Crais looked darkly at her.
"Okay," Carma said, "so you don't want to go. Consider this, we want something from these people and so we don't want to offend them. If you had refused their invitation or did not attend the ball, that would doubtless insult them. You wanted me to use my people skills, I'm using them. This is the best move for both of us."
Crais' face, if it was possible, looked even darker as he nodded in agreement.
"I will not dance," he stated flatly.
"Fine, don't dance," Carma said. "But you're being ridiculous, Crais. It's a ball, it's meant to be fun. One evening's enjoyment, what's the worst that could happen?"
He found her in the galley on Talyn, absent-mindedly chewing food cubes. She looked far better now she was out of the medilab and allowed to move around. She was still using the makeshift crutch that Jool had given her, but she was coping. She was well, but looked tired and he was worried about her.
They'd left Moya the weeken before and had set off in search of a place where Talyn's starburst fin could be repaired. Whether it was the isolation that bothered her, the unaccustomed space travel or something more serious, he just didn't know.
"Are you alright?" he asked as he approached her.
"Fine," Carma replied and volunteered nothing more. He was beginning to worry about this response. It was her standard answer to any question about her well-being, even when it was so obviously not true.
"Are you having difficulty sleeping?" he asked, trying again.
"I'm fine."
"Are you experiencing any ill-effects from your treatment?"
"I'm *fine*."
"Then what are you doing here in the middle of the sleep cycle?" Crais asked.
"What are *you*?" Carma shot back.
"I am concerned about you," Crais replied simply.
"I think you're taking this back-up thing too far," Carma said. "I'm fine. There's nothing wrong."
Crais met her eyes. "I do not believe you."
"How about you don't bother me and I don't bother you?" Carma countered. "There's about a million things on your mind that you don't tell me about."
"Perhaps I am better able to cope with them alone than you are."
"That's a load of dren," Carma said. "You're as messed up as I am, you've got enough issues to keep a team of therapists busy for cycles and the reason you don't talk about them is because you won't let yourself be vulnerable to anyone. That's not strength, that's fear and one day it's going to tear you apart. So forgive me if I do the same, I'm too far gone for it to matter."
Crais stared back at her for a few microts. "I will tell you something," he said. "When I decided to use Talyn to destroy the command carrier, I intended it as a hero's death for Talyn and a way to prevent wormhole technology falling into the hands of the Peacekeepers. However, when I stood in Talyn's command, I found myself also thinking of it as an honourable ending to a life that had grown increasingly difficult. I knew that I was going to my death and I felt at peace for the first time in my life. And then I woke up and found that I must carry on when I thought that my time was over."
Carma wasn't looking at him anymore.
"You believed that you would die when you were no longer supplied with Deuterol. You risked your life to save Talyn because you were willing to die, not for a cause but to escape a difficult life. Once Talyn was safe and the operation to restore my memory was complete you no longer had anything to attend to. You went to your death at peace...and then you, also, woke up and found that you had to live."
Carma looked back at him. "As I said, you're as frelled up as I am."
"And we will both survive. Your life is obviously destined to continue, as mine is."
"The practical ex-Peacekeeper believes in destiny?" Carma said, eyebrows arching.
"Losing my memory has made me see my past in a different light. Considering everything that has happened to me in the last few cycles...I do believe in destiny."
"You saved my life when I was supposed to die."
"And you did the same for me."
"So destiny has stuck us together?"
"It seems so."
"Oh great," Carma said. "Because we'll be so good for each other. We both have the same faults."
"And we both only recognise them as faults in the other...and not in ourselves."
Carma half-smiled. "Will you promise not to let me die?" she said.
"Yes," Crais replied.
Carma hesitated. "Even if I ask you to?"
"Especially then."
Carma looked back at him. "Then I'll do the same for you."
***
"What's happening?" Carma asked as she half staggered into command. "It's too early for this."
"The sleep cycle ended over two arns ago," Crais replied, looking perfectly awake.
Carma glared at him. "My sleep cycle lasts as long as I'm asleep!" she growled.
Crais ignored the look she was giving him. "Talyn has located a planet that may possibly have the facilities to repair his starburst fin. We will arrive in one arn." He looked her up and down. "I suggest you dress before then."
Carma looked down at the sheet that she had wrapped around her. "Just because you look like you have a personal dresser does not mean that I have to look like a Peacekeeper uniform model at this hour in the morning. If I'm going to stay on this ship I have to have at least a couple of rules going my way, and one of them is this. If I want to come to command wearing nothing but a sheet, I will come to command wearing nothing but a sheet!"
Crais bit his tongue to keep from enquiring if she really was wearing nothing else. Instead he gave her his patented firm, no-nonsense look.
"Fine," Carma said grumpily. "I'll go change. Give me half an arn."
***
Carma returned, just under an arn later, looking rather more together in a pair of leather trousers that she'd borrowed from Aeryn. They were too tight and too long, but they were better than the skirt she'd been wearing before. As Crais had pointed out, carers and renegades had rather different dress codes.
"First stop has to be a clothing store," Carma said, looking uncomfortable. "It was great of Aeryn to lend me these but, let's face it, I'm not her."
'No,' Crais thought, 'you're not'. For the first time that didn't sound like a insult.
"I have made contact with the planet's authorities. They have the facilities and expertise that Talyn requires but I sense that they are slightly concerned," Crais said out loud. "However, they have agreed to meet with us. Hopefully we can convince them."
"With an unstable gunship in orbit around their planet and your people skills, how could we fail?" Carma asked innocently.
"I thought perhaps that I would take care of the technical details and allow you to conduct the negotiation," Crais responded, poker-faced.
"Great," Carma said, looking slightly queasy, "even better."
"I am certain that your 'people skills' are sufficient."
"Yeah, sure. I'm just a little...nervous. Nothing serious, just because I've never been off world in my life until now and I know nothing about these people. Nothing to worry about."
"You will be fine," Crais said.
Carma gave a weak smile in return. "I hope you're right."
***
"Welcome to our court." The man behind the desk greeted them. "I am Zraven Tyrel, the sovereign of this planet. May I present my mate, Kalveni Haren and my son, Zraven Erane."
They looked approximately Sebacean, Crais thought to himself, except for the curious markings across their foreheads and the fact that they didn't seem to have any visible ears. They were certainly of a species that he had never met before.
"I am Raylai Carma," Carma said, she and Crais having agreed that she should take the lead in the negotiations, "and this is Bialar Crais. Or Crais Bialar in your tradition."
The man half-smiled. "My communications director informs me that you are requesting help to repair your ship?"
"That is correct, sir," Carma said. "Our ship is a hybrid leviathan. His left starburst fin was lost in an accident and it must be replaced."
"A hybrid? What is his other half?"
"Peacekeeper," Carma answered, knowing that concealment was impossible, "but we are in no way associated with them and the ship has never served them."
"Does he have weapons?"
"He does, but they are all disabled. We simply wish to allow him to starburst in order to defend himself without weapons," Carma said. "We would be quite willing to allow someone on board to verify this."
Tyrel nodded. "One of my people will return with you before I will grant your request."
"Naturally we will provide you with appropriate compensation," Crais added, they had been given a large amount by Moya's crew since it was to repair Talyn.
"I will send my chief technician back to your ship today to inspect it. If he confirms your story, we can begin repairs tomorrow. In the meantime you are welcome to attend the court. We are currently in the midst of celebrations."
"Really, why?" Carma asked curiously.
"My son will soon undergo his bonding ceremony with his chosen mate," Tyrel replied proudly.
"Congratulations," Carma said warmly. "I'm sure she's a wonderful girl."
"I have not selected my bride yet," Erane answered, in a bored voice.
Carma looked taken aback. "You're about to be bonded and you don't know who too?" she asked.
"In our culture," Tyrel explained, "males and females are strictly segregated until they reach the age of bonding. Then they are permitted to meet each other in order to select their future mate. There will be a court ball every night this weeken. Erane will select his mate one weeken from now at the final ball and they will be married two solar days after that. All the preparations are complete now except for the choice of bride. I assume that they do not do this in the culture that you both come from?"
"Not in mine," Carma said. "We come from different cultures. In mine you select your mate at any time you like, and in Crais' you don't have one at all."
"None?" Tyrel looked surprised. "That must be a very limited existence."
"I was conscripted into the Peacekeepers when I was young," Crais explained, "but I have now left them. The culture I came from before that was much like Carma's, from what I remember."
"So you are different species?" Tyrel asked. "It is most unusual to find couples who manage to sustain mixed relationships."
"We're not a couple," Carma said.
"I apologise," Tyrel said. "I assumed since you were travelling together you must be bonded."
"In both our cultures it is considered quite acceptable for males and females to mix freely as they wish without being bonded," Carma explained. "It must seem very strange to you."
"Sounds far more sensible than our way," Erane muttered.
"Erane!" Haren said sharply.
"You must excuse my son," Tyrel said. "He is finding the prospect of selecting a bride...daunting."
"That's perfectly understandable," Carma said. "It is a very important decision."
"I am confident that once at the ball he will be able to make a good choice," Tyrel replied.
"I'm sure he will," Carma agreed.
"Now, I suggest that you both return to your ship. My chief technician will meet you at the landing pad and inspect your ship. If his report is satisfactory, I hope you will be our guests at the ball tonight and we will begin the examination of your ship tomorrow."
"Thank you, we'd be delighted," Carma said, before Crais could open his mouth.
"I am sure we can provide you with more...formal clothes for this evening."
"That would be wonderful," Carma answered, again before Crais could respond. "I don't suppose that you know of a clothing store in the local area? As you can probably see, I need to purchase some more suitable clothing."
"I am sure that you can be directed to one," Tyrel answered. "I hope that we will see you tonight."
"You will," Carma said cheerfully, not entirely unaware of how much Crais hated her at that moment.
***
"I do not wish to go to a ball," Crais said definitely.
"It'll be fun," Carma said, then saw his face, "well, for me anyway."
Crais looked darkly at her.
"Okay," Carma said, "so you don't want to go. Consider this, we want something from these people and so we don't want to offend them. If you had refused their invitation or did not attend the ball, that would doubtless insult them. You wanted me to use my people skills, I'm using them. This is the best move for both of us."
Crais' face, if it was possible, looked even darker as he nodded in agreement.
"I will not dance," he stated flatly.
"Fine, don't dance," Carma said. "But you're being ridiculous, Crais. It's a ball, it's meant to be fun. One evening's enjoyment, what's the worst that could happen?"