Chapter Four: Leather?
Disclaimer: We own nothing.
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Merry and Pippin AGAIN…
"Are we-"
"QUIET! NO TALKING!" The Uruk-Hai was looking for a nice cliff to toss Merry off of.
"-And I will name you Bob, and we will have wonderful picnics in the park and play games in the open fields and-" Pippin was talking to a 'special' rock the Uruk-Hai had given him in an utterly futile attempt to shut him up. As I said, it was utterly futile.
*More kazoo music from in front of the Uruk-Hai*
'Bwee-BWEEEE-bwee-bwee-bwee-bwee-bwee-BWEEEE-bwe-bwee-BWEE-bwee-bwee-bwee- bweee-bweeee-bwee-bwee-bwee-BWEEEEEEE!' (People who have seen 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights' should be able to get this one.) The Uruk-Hai stopped in fear.
"AAAAH! It is the Horse-Boys!" a random Uruk-Hai screamed. They dumped Merry and Pippin onto their heads in some brush, then turned and ran screaming in the other direction because they were having severe non- collinear waterfowl issues and it was convenient to the plot line. The Riders of Rohan burst out of the brush, their kazoo music blasting, and chased the Uruk-Hai, completely ignoring Merry and Pippin. After five minutes, Pippin spoke.
"I think they forgot about us…should I go get them?"
Merry sighed and dug around in his pack, pulling out his last Lorien flower. "Here…eat this, Pip…"
***
And Still Meanwhile…
Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli were walking along on a plain…
…Just walking along…
…with nothing interesting going on around them. Gimli was hewing down anything in his path with his ax, Legolas was still ranting about his hair, and Aragorn was plugging his ears and singing nonsense as loud as he possibly could to drown out Legolas.
"BOO!" Suddenly 105 warriors mounted on horseback snuck up on them unnoticed.
"AAAAAAHH!" Gimli had a minor cornary and the Riders laughed as he lay on the ground and twitched. The Riders were all wearing black leather jackets and tight jeans and boots, and some of them had gloves on. They all wore a lot of chain jewelry, and each had a pair of dark black sunglasses on. Their leader had a Mohawk. The said leader came forth and grinned.
"Yo."
"Hi…"
" 'Choo doin'?"
"Walking. Hey, could we have some horses?"
"Hey, yeah, we'z got some real nice ones, don' we, boys?" the leader said. "Yeh, they'r 'round hea some place…Hey, Éoiki, make sure we ain't got none a' da fuzz 'round, 'k?" One of the Riders turned and ran off to look for the 'fuzz'.
"So's yous guys want horses, huh?" the leader said as he waited for Éoiki to return. The three nodded slowly. Well, da name's Éomer, and these hea me amigos, Éoden, Éolithe, Éosiir, and Éomama. So aaah…" But just then Éoiki came back with a troop of 'fuzz', who all wore fuzzy green shirts.
"I tried to keep 'em off, Éomer!" Éoiki shouted as Éomer wrung his neck. "YOU WILL ALL COME TO-" the fuzz guy started, but suddenly a coffee cup came flying out of nowhere and hit him in the head and everybody scattered. What? Hey! Coffee cup?!
Guys…
~~~~~~~~Interruption~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*BWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!* We interrupt this Interruption for this breaking news:
* J is staring over her shoulder as the higher powers of FF.net glare at her: of course, all that can be seen of them are black silhouettes with glowing red eyes*
J: *sweat running down her face* Umm…it is bad to put actors in your fics…we should have never have made the chapter ending dependant upon it…I am very sad that I-OW! Watch it with the knife back there! I'm apologizing, aren't I?! OW!! I'd better not be bleeding, you-ARG!! Okay, anyway, I just needed to eat up time and space to make up room for this interruption, and now I'm done, and so is the chapter. Am I bleeding?! There'd better not be blood! I'll sue for harassment if there's even ONE SPOT of blood…
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Sample of Next Chapter: I Don't Care If You're Bent; What Are You?
"I…ah…need to make a pit-stop…" Pippin said uneasily. "Well, I'll come with you then," Merry said (Gasp! He didn't ask a question?!).
"NO YOU WON'T! YOU STAY RIGHT HERE, GOT IT?! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" Pippin shouted, rushing into the woods.
Disclaimer: We own nothing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Merry and Pippin AGAIN…
"Are we-"
"QUIET! NO TALKING!" The Uruk-Hai was looking for a nice cliff to toss Merry off of.
"-And I will name you Bob, and we will have wonderful picnics in the park and play games in the open fields and-" Pippin was talking to a 'special' rock the Uruk-Hai had given him in an utterly futile attempt to shut him up. As I said, it was utterly futile.
*More kazoo music from in front of the Uruk-Hai*
'Bwee-BWEEEE-bwee-bwee-bwee-bwee-bwee-BWEEEE-bwe-bwee-BWEE-bwee-bwee-bwee- bweee-bweeee-bwee-bwee-bwee-BWEEEEEEE!' (People who have seen 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights' should be able to get this one.) The Uruk-Hai stopped in fear.
"AAAAH! It is the Horse-Boys!" a random Uruk-Hai screamed. They dumped Merry and Pippin onto their heads in some brush, then turned and ran screaming in the other direction because they were having severe non- collinear waterfowl issues and it was convenient to the plot line. The Riders of Rohan burst out of the brush, their kazoo music blasting, and chased the Uruk-Hai, completely ignoring Merry and Pippin. After five minutes, Pippin spoke.
"I think they forgot about us…should I go get them?"
Merry sighed and dug around in his pack, pulling out his last Lorien flower. "Here…eat this, Pip…"
***
And Still Meanwhile…
Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli were walking along on a plain…
…Just walking along…
…with nothing interesting going on around them. Gimli was hewing down anything in his path with his ax, Legolas was still ranting about his hair, and Aragorn was plugging his ears and singing nonsense as loud as he possibly could to drown out Legolas.
"BOO!" Suddenly 105 warriors mounted on horseback snuck up on them unnoticed.
"AAAAAAHH!" Gimli had a minor cornary and the Riders laughed as he lay on the ground and twitched. The Riders were all wearing black leather jackets and tight jeans and boots, and some of them had gloves on. They all wore a lot of chain jewelry, and each had a pair of dark black sunglasses on. Their leader had a Mohawk. The said leader came forth and grinned.
"Yo."
"Hi…"
" 'Choo doin'?"
"Walking. Hey, could we have some horses?"
"Hey, yeah, we'z got some real nice ones, don' we, boys?" the leader said. "Yeh, they'r 'round hea some place…Hey, Éoiki, make sure we ain't got none a' da fuzz 'round, 'k?" One of the Riders turned and ran off to look for the 'fuzz'.
"So's yous guys want horses, huh?" the leader said as he waited for Éoiki to return. The three nodded slowly. Well, da name's Éomer, and these hea me amigos, Éoden, Éolithe, Éosiir, and Éomama. So aaah…" But just then Éoiki came back with a troop of 'fuzz', who all wore fuzzy green shirts.
"I tried to keep 'em off, Éomer!" Éoiki shouted as Éomer wrung his neck. "YOU WILL ALL COME TO-" the fuzz guy started, but suddenly a coffee cup came flying out of nowhere and hit him in the head and everybody scattered. What? Hey! Coffee cup?!
Guys…
~~~~~~~~Interruption~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*BWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!* We interrupt this Interruption for this breaking news:
* J is staring over her shoulder as the higher powers of FF.net glare at her: of course, all that can be seen of them are black silhouettes with glowing red eyes*
J: *sweat running down her face* Umm…it is bad to put actors in your fics…we should have never have made the chapter ending dependant upon it…I am very sad that I-OW! Watch it with the knife back there! I'm apologizing, aren't I?! OW!! I'd better not be bleeding, you-ARG!! Okay, anyway, I just needed to eat up time and space to make up room for this interruption, and now I'm done, and so is the chapter. Am I bleeding?! There'd better not be blood! I'll sue for harassment if there's even ONE SPOT of blood…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sample of Next Chapter: I Don't Care If You're Bent; What Are You?
"I…ah…need to make a pit-stop…" Pippin said uneasily. "Well, I'll come with you then," Merry said (Gasp! He didn't ask a question?!).
"NO YOU WON'T! YOU STAY RIGHT HERE, GOT IT?! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" Pippin shouted, rushing into the woods.